Tag Archives: Mickie James

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (6/21/12)

TNA OPENING RECAP (brief, but star making)
Roode recap. Aries recap. Good stuff… because they’re faces. People care about both of them. Aries is on fire. Brief recap. TNA has been getting a lot better lately. Like I can’t wait for TNA Impact every week. I’m not the only person saying that.

HULK HOGAN & AUSTIN ARIES ANGLE (headed to Aries execution)
As much as I don’t care what Hogan has to say… I think… he’s not Robert Roode or HHH starting off a 2 hour wrestling show… so that makes me happy. Tonight is Gut Check and Open Fight Night. TNA will have its first female Gut Check challenger. They’ve also got the Bound for Glory Series. I’m actually looking forward to this.

Hogan wants an answer from Aries if he will give up his X-Division championship for a title shot at Robert Roode at Destination X. See this is a terrible idea, a bad idea and a good idea all at once. It is a good idea, because Austin Aries doesn’t need to be beat to give up a low-end title. It is a bad idea because I’d much rather see Aries vs AJ Stylez main event Destination X and its a terrible idea, because Roode’s storyline trumps Austin Aries career. Aries should not come to an end. If anything Aries should be the man to take the belt even if the angle is designed for James Storm to get the top title.

Austin Aries wants any X-Division champion to have the opportunity to give up the title for a top title shot at the Destination X. Good idea I guess, since it puts heat on the belt… once a year. Robert Roode comes out and blah blah blah. It ends in a hockey fight. Yes a shirt pulling hockey fight before its broken up. Then Mr. Anderson appears with microphone in hand. He doesn’t have his blonde hair. Don’t ever let Anderson talk. Anderson says he’ll win the Bound for Glory Series. Please no. Oddly enough Mr. Anderson wasn’t terrible on the microphone. He was okay.

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES SCORE SYSTEM (Thank goth they talk about it.)
Same as last year. Good idea to show how scoring is done. Still lose 10 points for a DQ and there is now a 10 minute time limit for each match. Good. I like that. Gives a chance for draws.

BFG >> MR. ANDERSON vs CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (good for its clean victory)
Mr. Anderson challenges Christopher Daniels. Again, don’t let Mr. Anderson talk. Christopher Daniels comes out with an appletini. I remember this match from a month ago. Very meh in terms of crowd heat compared to most TNA matches in the past few months. Good clean finish. Thank you TNA. I laugh at how Mike Tenney calls something a patented move… when so many people do it. The victory celebration is silly if not dumb.

AJ & DIXIE BACKSTAGE (time filler)
She wants to tell everyone… This is a time filler. We saw 2 of these last week. I expect to see 2 more tonight.

BROOKE HOGAN w/ ODB / MICKIE JAMES / VELVET SKYE / MADISON RAYNE (pretty bad)
This was done reality style… They’re discussing who gets the Knockouts title. Brooke wants to know why they want the title. This does put heat on the Knockouts title. Wow this does not make any of the four glow in a positive light. This was designed to make Brooke Hogan look good and like the only sane person.

BFG >> ROBBIE E vs KURT ANGLE (effective)
Robbie E does a good open challenge that is answered by Angle. I predict a destruction of both Robbie E and Rob Terry. Great victory. Made the winner look very effective.

TAYLOR HENDRIX GUT CHECK VIDEO (interesting story)
She’s got red hair. That’s what’s missing from wrestling. None of her footage had red hair. In fact her footage makes her look like Mickie James this is a plus for her… but not Mickie. She announces that she was diagnosed with cancer at age 21.

BFG >> MAGNUS vs AJ STYLEZ (an ok match too short to be good)
This episode of Impact is going by quick. Magnus calls out someone, it goes to commercial. I have a feeling its Joe. Nope its AJ Stylez. Funny how all of these open challenges call out home wreckers. ODB should call out the Wedding Planner next. Magnus catches AJ off the top rope with a ragdoll catch then turns it into a suplex. That looked good. AJ misses a Pele kick. Apparently what he and Dixie are going through is messing with him. Daniels & KAZ interfere. At least they haven’t interfered in a while.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX vs TARA (give her a job)
She looks like she’s in the hot girl marching band… implants… so she’ll fit in with TNA’s abnormal sized implants. Tara comes down to the ring. Good choice. I would have had Gail Kim, but I guess Gail has more of a character. So what do we grade here? Her ability to sell? Do we grade Taylor Hendrix ability to mimmick Mickie James?

I say give Taylor Hendrix a TNA contract. She’s hot with crisp work and mega implants that TNA loves. We haven’t seen a new knockout in at least a year. Get rid of Angelina Love or Winter. What have they done lately?

In fact since Brooke Tessmacher hasn’t been here this week, they can have Taylor get a job next week and have Brooke return to say She’s not Taylor… she’s some stalker from my former sorority!

JOSEPH PARK & BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE (too brief to be gold)
Bully Ray bullies the giant Joseph Park who brings up his brother… Bully Ray doesn’t want to see Joseph Park in the crowd. This was good… stoopid bastad.

BFG >> SAMOA JOE vs JAMES STORM (on the verge of good, but not long enough)
Since no one has the guts to call out Samoa Joe, he calls out James Storm. Should be good, but every match on this show has been 2 – 4 minutes. A win is a win even if its not really a match. Tazz & Tennay hype the fact James Storm has been away from active competition. There is a dueling chant… which is good. Joe dumps James on his head with a power slam. After the match Joe comes at James Storm with a beer bottle… I won’t ruin what happens next.

AJ / DIXIE / DANIELS ANGLE VIDEO RECAP
Yep AJ & Dixie have a surprise for Serge. It’s probably like an autograph from Serge’s favorite baseball player. Good recap of a terrible angle that gives AJ an excuse to lose.

AJ & DIXIE BACKSTAGE (again)
Time filler… AJ wants to get it done tonight. It’s funny because last week AJ wanted it done… then he didn’t and Dixie wanted to. Now this episode starts its Dixie that wants to… and now its AJ. Well now that everyone’s on the same page.

BROOKE HOGAN w/ 3 of the 4 women (too quick to be as bad as it could)
Eh its getting sane. Brooke is kinda pointing out how silly the women are. And someone leaves. Quick.

BFG >> BULLY RAY vs POPE (The ghost of Abyss)
… Pope is back after being gone 6+ months. Crimson was undefeated for 18 months. Why is he not in this series? Whatever. Anyway, comes down to the ring and challenges Pope. Bully Ray needs a racist gimmick to make up for all the black men he beats down. So I guess RVD vs Jeff Hardy will be the main event… I predict another 2 – 4 minute match between Bully Ray and Pope. Interestingly Pope has a punching / elbow combination just like Bully Ray has a punching combo. At some point Abyss comes through the crowd. Terrifying some of the ring rats at ringside. Abyss is just like a ghost haunting Bully Ray.

HOGAN BACKSTAGE w/ JEFF HARDY & RVD
Makes Jeff Hardy vs RVD… yup.

DESTINATION X TRAILER w/ AUSTIN ARIES
Its awesome. Makes him look like a star.

MONTGUMARY GENTRY MUSIC VIDEO starring VELVET SKYE
So she’s a single mother? Or its just acting. This is more Velvet’s video than Montgumary Gentries. They don’t show all of it… but this just proves… get big implants so you can be a star. Even reality shows know the value of implants.

BROOKE HOGAN BACKSTAGE w/ 2 of 4 FINALISTS
This might as well have been a beauty pageant. Quite the shock outcome. Kept quick.

KNOCKOUTS TITLE >> TESSMACHER vs FINALIST
Congrats to TNA for making a new female star with Miss. Tessmacher. Beautiful moves from the finalist. Lots of butt shots from the camera. I wish I didn’t have to report on that… but that’s where the cameras are. This match will probably do TNA’s biggest rating of the night… even with the terrible build. Miss Tessmocher is selling more than Taylor Hendrix. Good clean finish.

BFG >> RVD vs JEFF HARDY (failed to interest me)
Yep its a match. I remember when people would pay for this match. To be honest I had no interest in this match. Two flat guys having the same match for the 1,000th time. It isn’t any better, it isn’t any worse. No heat is put on the match since there’s an angle on top.

PROS

  • Austin Aries in TNA
  • Christopher Daniels appletini
  • Some clean wins in the BFG!
  • Winner of Robbie E & Kurt Angle looked very effective
  • Taylor Hendrix
  • TNA letting the winners celebrate… almost as long as the matches.

CONS

  • No Sting storyline continuation. He was attacked by 3 masked me, Jeff Jarrett and the Harris brothers (I think).
  • Very little build for Destination X… but I guess you need to have an X-Division to have an X-Division pay-per-view.
  • Robert Roode talking
  • Mr. Anderson talking
  • Knockouts discussing why they want the Knockouts title… *shakes head*
  • AJ’s head not in the game… I’d much rather not see him on his year long losing streak.
  • Gut Check as a whole. What are we evaluating? A person’s ability to lose?
  • Tag champs not wearing their championship belts. Did anyone remember they are tag champs?
  • Backstage with Knockouts, but it was kept quick
  • I’ve seen RVD and Hardy too much to care… but that can be said a lot about any match in TNA.
  • No Devon defending the TV title. Not that it matters, but it was said… defending it on every Impact. Maybe he’s on Xplosion.
  • Over run lead to no conclusion with the Dixie and AJ angle… the main event.
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Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (06/07/12)

TNA IMPACT OPENING with DIXIE LAST WEEK
They recap what happened last week and then show what happened off the air. Dixie is angry marching to the production truck. Hopefully the AJ / Dixie angle doesn’t turn out to be a surprise birthday party for Serge her husband. TNA said that we’d be going backstage more and more.

DIXIE IN THE RING (heat killer)
She’s all teary eyed. Dixie feels sorry for Christopher Daniels and KAZ that they’d be so sad as to do this. So Dixie is gonna tell the truth! Enter Daniels and KAZ. Daniels has his hand taped. His hand or fingers. Daniels REALLY should have been the one to shave KAZ’s head. Be like me KAZ, be like me! We are one as a tag team. That didn’t happen. Daniels and KAZ look like jobbers wearing Slammiversary T-shirts and they don’t even carry the tag belts. Daniels harasses her. Its nice. Dixie starts trying to bash him, Kaz gives her a nice push to the corner. AJ came in for the save. This isn’t gold, I’m not sure how much heat it has. Serge comes in. He helps his wife and looks angry at AJ Stylez. Serge clocks AJ. They are going into good territory with this, but since its AJ its still unbelievable. The fans are chanting Photo-Shop? Serge leaves them, and AJ walks Dixie out. Well that’s a crowd killer.

It is soon announced AJ & Dixie left the building, but he’s in a six man tag main event!

AUSTIN ARIES & SAMOA JOE BACKSTAGE
Very briefly Joe has an issue with him. Its too brief to get heat.

THE STREAK >> CRIMSON vs AUSTIN ARIES (uh boy)
Crimson issues an open challenge for the PPV. Fight him and lose! Then screams Undefeated!

I still want to point out Crimson was pinned as a tag champion. If anyone on the TNA roster should beat Crimson, it should be Austin Aries. If anyone can get a good match out of Crimson it is Austin Aries. The crowd is behind Aries. But with Joe and Aries having an issue just before the match, that might telegraph the winner. It didn’t last week.

BROOKE BACKSTAGE w/ FACE KNOCKOUTS (surprisingly good)
Look at these outfits! Look at these bodies! They’re more beautiful in person! She’s clearly a face. A man of a face. She puts Velvet, Mickie James, Brooke and Tara into a four way. Why does Brooke look older than these girls when she’s probably the youngest? Brooke mentions that she’s getting them media opperunities. If that’s true, cool. Montgumery Gentry wants Velvet for a music video. Mickie James subtly looks pissed.

HOGAN ANNOUCEMENTS (meh build to the PPV)
Hogan comes out and announces the ten year anniversary party starts tonight end ends next week with the TNA champion having a title match next week on Impact. Then Robert Roode comes out, starts talking, gets interrupted, but Robert Roode is never done talking. It was a good verbal assault… if they’re planning Hogan vs Roode. He puts his hands on Hogan. Sting appears. Roode beats down Sting who just gets back up. Sting sells nothing. Then Robert Roode gets sent out of the ring.

Robert Roode wears a new IT Factor T-shirt that looks terrible and generic. They really could have had some more IT Factor in the IT Factor T-shirt. In other words, that’s not a shirt I’d buy or anyone else.

JOSEPH PARK BACKSTAGE
He can’t believe what he’s doing. Good character. To brief to be great, but this was good for the 30 seconds it was.

#1 CONTENDER >> MICKIE JAMES vs VELVET SKYE vs BROOKE TESSMOCHER vs TARA (seen these women in this match combination too many times)
Brooke Tessmocher is from Houston, TX and the PPV is in TX. Give her the knockout victory in her home state. All faces… except for Mickie who is about to turn. Gail appears soon after the match starts. Gail on commentary says she’s beaten all four. Gail Kim is the longest running Knockouts champ. Along with every other major title holder. Thank goth Gail is on commentary, because this match is so dull and burnt out that I forget there’s a match going on. There is a good spot where all 4 women are involved in submissions. I remember when WWE did similar things 10 years ago. Tara does a top rope moonsault instead of a standing one. Very impressive and graceful, unlike Lita’s.

Eventually former tag partners Brooke & Tara fight. The work starts getting sloppy toward the end. Like someone will get hurt kind of sloppy.

BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE (voice is out of sync?)
Strange the voice is out of sync. He’s got a contract for Joseph Park.

HOGAN BACKSTAGE ON THE PHONE
You get here AJ! Grrr…

BULLY RAY & JOSEPH PARK CONTRACT SIGNING w/ JEREMY BORASH (interesting and entertaining)
This has been a good 3+ month storyline. It would be a good one off match and they might want to do this with non wrestlers. Have them appear 3 months and do one match before disappearing. Do that 4x a year with various people and you can really keep them fresh. Like Robert Roode vs his old friend in spring, Bully vs Joseph in summer, AJ vs Serge in fall, ODB vs the Wedding Planner in winter. Very easy to do.

Bully has a good shirt. Some sort of parody on the Jack Daniels bottle. Joseph Park comes out with no music, but he is not a wrestler. He’s good at not knowing how to get in the ring. He’s good at being clueless. The fans want tables. Bully starts by tearing up the contract. Bully Ray pulls his special contract out that protects him from liability. Joseph Park isn’t crazy enough to do that. The fans cheer him surprisingly. Abyss should come out and sign it then… but that’s not the match. Bully Ray spits in his face. Joseph cuts a promo about his brother who spilt his blood and gave his body. He’ll sign for his brother Chris. If this means Abyss has retired and Joseph needs to wrestle now.

Abyss appears on the big screen. He’s not happy with Joseph. Abyss does some good work, even gets a shock from the crowd. Gold… for such a weird plotline. Bully Ray attacks Joseph. Great segment.

MIKE TENNAY asks TAZZ about JOEY RYAN
People are buzzing about it. Mike asks Tazz if he has any second thoughts. Tazz loves Joey’s character. Hanging out on Twitter and Youtube doesn’t make you better it makes you popular.

BACKSTAGE PROMO with JOEY RYAN (interesting)
Last week Joey was backstage cutting a promo on Tazz so Al Snow swoops in and tells Joey to check himself. Joey doesn’t, so Al Snow escorts him out. I’m sure that wasn’t Joey Ryan’s character that was just him venting. TNA was and wasn’t stupid not to take him. They were stupid, because the fans wanted it and he’s a ten year vet with talent and a great character that would be awesome in TNA. The good reason they didn’t take him is apparently he’s a jerk.

TV TITLE >> DEVON vs ROBBIE E (adding interest with more players)
The feud that will not die. Backstage before the match, Garrett says he’ll have Devon’s back if Devon will let him. Yep. Brief they’re really trying to put over Garrett. They’ll tag up at the PPV. This is the same match that its been for the last 3 months. It hasn’t gotten better or worse. Luckily Maddisson Rayne shows up to look on, making this match watchable. Logically I’d give Decon a clean win, then give Robbie & Rob Terry a cheat victory at the PPV when Maddisson Rayne helps them. Why have Cookie with Robbie E when you can have Rayne. Hilarious spot where there’s a small package and the giant Rob Terry sneaks into the ring and rolls them over so Devon is getting pinned.

HULK HOGAN ANNOUCEMENT (again)
He was getting ready to make a monster annoucement before he got interrupted… so Hogan gets interrupted again by Mr. Anderson. Why not have a match at the PPV. Ken Anderson vs Jeff Hardy. Again! The same match its been even back in the WWE for years and years! He introduces himself before he comes down. Uggg… Why is this guy back. There’s no room for him. Put him on Xplosion. I can tell Hogan really doesn’t want to hear from him. Hogan invites RVD to come down. So why not have a 3 way? They’re forgetting about Jeff Hardy… so far. And yep, Jeff Hardy is called down. I’d have these three guys go over in 3 singles matches, then have a 3 way at the PPV with the winner getting a title shot on Impact. He announces a three way at Slammiversary. Yep. I predict Jeff Hardy to win. Peel RVD off into a feud with Aries and Kennedy can go after Crimson.

SIX MAN TAG >> ROODE & KAZ & DANIELS vs STING & KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES
AJ left earlier… and he stayed gone, which is great. 2 on 3 match. I’d rather see 2 on 3 than waste 2 PPV matches in one. Sting comes out with some weird purple jacket. Sting now wears black with blue ring attire. He quickly puts the scorpion death lock on Daniels. A terrible death lock and Angle puts the ankle lock on KAZ. Bam that should have been the match. Victory to the faces, but then the heels should get on the mic and demand it get restarted and it would be.

I remember when Daniels had a feud with Sting. I’m not sure if they actually had a match or not. That was a few years ago. Pretty quick match, but there was a lot of energy.

PROS

  • The interest of Austin Aries vs Crimson
  • Brooke Hogan and Velvet’s announcement of being in a music video (I’m surprised its a pro)
  • Joseph Park & Bully Ray
  • Using Joey Ryan without giving him a contract

CONS

  • Crowd killing opening angle
  • Someone specific losing
  • Roode & Sting with Hogan did nothing to make me want to see them.
  • I’ve seen the same knockout’s match in tag or three way form for a year or two
  • Didn’t make me want to see Slamiversary

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should have been) (in my mind) (04/12/12)

ERIC BISCHOFF OPENS IMPACT (Team Eric is revealed)
The fans are firmly against Eric Bischoff and he loves it and they love it too. He welcomes his team which consists of Bully Ray, Gunner, KAZ & Christopher Daniels. Good team, but I thought Bully Ray was busy for Lock Down. Bully Ray cuts a promo and laughs at Garrett. I’ve pointed it out before and I’ll point it out again, this is like Poochie the Dog on the Simpsons… where if Poochie isn’t on screen, everyone should be talking about him, just like Garrett. The crowd wants AJ. We want AJ. Push AJ please, stop oppressing him to push James Storm, AJ can make TNA money.

Garrett appears, complete with his logo behind him that reads… Garrett… Bischoff… Garrett Bischoff. Wow. He announces Mr. Anderson is on his team.

TNA SHOPZONE COMMERCIAL (effective at selling merch)
TNA actually decided to sell some merchandise with this commercial. I’m happy. The voice even kind of sounded like Don West. Kind of…

BEST OF THREE SERIES >>ANDERSONvs GUNNER (andAnderson’s no lose contract)
There is some best of three series to announce who has the one man advantage at Lockdown. I’m happy this 8 man match involves guys who aren’t main eventers. It gives your midcarders something interesting to do.

I see Gunner as the future of TNA with more in ring longevity than Garrett and Crimson. Plus Gunner has been wrestling for 10+ years already. The commentators use this as a plug fest for everything that will happen tonight. LOL what a stupid ending to this match. This past month makes me think that Mr. Anderson has something in his contract.

ERIC YOUNG BACKSTAGE (Joseph Park needs to do something)
In a 70s sky blue tuxedo. Joseph Park appears… asks about a prenuptial agreement. After Lockdown, they need to do something with Joseph Park.

MOTORCITY MACHINE GUNS PROMO (that gets no one over)
They insult Joe & Magnus (JoeNus Brothers) credentials and put over their own, such as retiring Team 3D and beating Beer Money. Unfortunately in TNA all tag teams have beaten one another. Enter Joe & Magnus, the face heels. This was basic, no frills, lacking energy, but with passion.

Enter Mexican America that get beat down. Dull. When it’s all said and done no one is over.

BEST OF THREE SERIES >> DANIELS vs ARIES (effectively putting over Aries)
Should be a five star match if this was WCW, but since this is TNA I give it one star. That’s my prediction anyway. The crowd is firmly pro Aries and anti Daniels. Minutes into the match and there are great acrobatics, counters and risky maneuvers. The fans chant this is wrestling.

This was a great and effective match at putting over Aries. Daniels didn’t look too bad either.

JEFF HARDY PROMO (a waste of time)
I hate his music. Can’t even tell it’s him coming out and he’s had this music a while now. This theme is still better than his last TNA theme that he wrote and sang himself. In the background, TNA is constructing a cage for the upcoming Eric Young and ODB wedding. Jeff mentions how it all started with Kurt how he cost him the world title… no he prevented you from winning. Jeff Hardy is very meh on the microphone and just gets cheap pops by screaming into the microphone.

JAMES STORM BACKSTAGE PROMO w/ MONTGUMARY GENTRY
James is angry. That’s it. Gentry says Sorry bout your damn luck.

ERIC YOUNG BACKSTAGE
Is interrupted by Sarita and Rosita. Apparently they want the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. You know Eric Young has so many things going on. Joe Parks, a wedding, Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

ERIC YOUNG & ODB WEDDING (the kill-pace)
Eric Young will soon be having a fishing show on Animal Planet. TNA doesn’t mention that. I also think it is strange Animal Planet would have a fishing show. Very classy setup… too bad it is ruined by a steel cage. Too bad TNA isn’t saying for the first time ever, a wedding in a steel cage. They tease ODB not showing up and the fans boo. Then her music hits and she appears in a cammo wedding dress and plenty of makeup. ODB locks the cage once she enters. Perfect metaphore.

They shows a video of the past 3 months they’ve been together. Plenty of dirty moments and face in cleavage. They say their vows that involve farting, slapping ass and taking Eric’s ring music.

Rosita and Sarita appear and call ODB a beast. She actually gets a tear from this. Rosita strips. This segment really drags. Sarita strips. Wow this was stupid. ODB points out she doesn’t have what those girls have. The priest helps ODB strip. I’d pick ODB if you like abnormally large implants. Then Eric Young strips and Tazz is confused. The fans chant this is sexy… ODB forces the priest to strip. Wow. So now they’re married it is ODB Young. Then they instantly cut to:

RIC FLAIR PEP TALK TO BULLY RAY
It is good. Then Ric Flair mentions Hulk-a-mania falls apart today. What? Maybe because Hulk made this team match at Lockdown. Eh.

ROBERT ROODE BACKSTAGE PROMO WITH HENCHMEN
This was meh less than half a minute. It gets him on TV.

BEST OF THREE SERIES >> BULLY RAY vs AJ STYLEZ (best match of the show)
On paper this 8 man match doesn’t look bad. Both teams circle the ring. We haven’t seen AJ vs Bully in a while after their big feud maybe 2 years ago that ended with a kick to the butt. Good tight match with both guys getting treated like stars. Eventually it devolves into an outside brawl. Good win by the winner.

Hulk Hogan appears strutting to the ring, clapping as he always does. Then he announces five on five at Lockdown. Guess it. Guess who it is. I think the fans are chanting Sid. Instead of being who I thought it was a legitimate good shock. Kudos to you TNA.

ROODE vs STORM VIDEO (fails to hit the mark)
Meh video, they’ve had better ones. This was a video from Robert Roode to James Storm recapping the last 6 months. Unfortunately I’m not into this match still, because they’ve had it too many times and had too many interactions. I guess they should be hyping up James Storm winning the TNA title again.

MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM vs MICKIE JAMES & VELVET SKYE (typical women’s tag)
Velvet looks like a blow-up-doll as usual, but hey some women consider that a compliment. I feel like this match should have been in the middle of the card, because I’m burnt out already. Shockingly, Velvet really shined in this match, she did most of the work and did it compliantly. Good job.

JAMES STORM & ROBERT ROODE ANGLE (and it still doesn’t make me care)
I’m tired of watching TNA for this week, because they had the main event a few segments ago and they’re capping it off with an angle. So these two Roode and Storm have had so many interactions and so many matches that involve one another, tag matches, singles matches, four ways that I have no interest in seeing the main event. Everything TNA tries to do to hype it up, doesn’t make me want to see it more even if it is in a steel cage… you know what else is in a steel cage? Crimson & Morgan. Steel cage doesn’t matter since every other match is in a steel cage.

Both men mention Beer Money and the past including the Bound for Glory Series. Both had interesting things to say. My interest really drifted, because we’ve heard all of this before months ago. I think a guy like Roode needs the top title to keep his steam and once he loses it he won’t be nearly as noticeable. Oh and the show ends with both men forehead to forehead pushing each other’s shifting noses and it was just funny.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should have been) (in my mind) (04/05/12)

HULK HOGAN PROMO introduced by DIXIE CARTER (match announcements)
Wow what ego stroking.Dixie has Sting in the ring. They both couldn’t look average enough. In fact I saw members of the crowd that looked like bigger stars. Speaking of stars, TNA had all of its wrestlers surrounding the ring. Way to make the entire roster look like extras and background players.

Hogan plugs Lockdown and announces matches. Morgan vs Crimson at Lockdown. Knockouts challenge for #1 contender tonight. Hogan calls out Bischoff and Ric Flair on the floor argues with Hogan. Oh so Bischoff isn’t out there… either is Roode who then appears with a security force wearing suits. Well at least TNA makes him look like a star.

As I predicted any babyface as an authority figure becomes the top babyface and the top babyface that wrestles each week is always #2.Andersongets called into the ring after Roode says his piece. I never want to hearAndersontalk and thankfully he doesn’t.Andersonvs Roode is announced for tonight. Hogan then announces Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle for right now. I smell a lumberjack match!

JEFF HARDY vs KURT ANGLE (rushed match)
Tazz says this is a main event anywhere in the world… yep but on TNA it opens the card… because they like blowing their money matches. Eh whatever, maybe it will be a minute long and end with some cheap finish. Angle’s right leg is either hideously pale or it is taped up. Remember how I typed that I smell a lumberjack match. Nope. No chance. After a few minutes they fall to the outside and Jeff Hardy has to break the count right before he throws Kurt back in. That made little sense. Maybe with the count at 8, Jeff didn’t want to get counted out by throwing in Kurt first.

Kurt is busted open in the ring. Thankfully TNA cameras didn’t catch the blade. Eric Young’s bachelor party will air tonight. This match has good crowd enthusiasm, but it feels very rushed. Several minutes in when Angle applies the ankle lock, he is still standing. I’ve always had a problem with the standing ankle lock. It makes more sense to drop and let the guy drag you instead of letting them kick you or roll you up, but whatever.

Good finish to a match that builds to a pay-per-view in a cage. Good match, I still say it felt very rushed, but had some good energy and crowd reaction. Angle gets backstage and Hogan announces a cage match with him and Jeff Hardy. I guess I don’t have a problem with giving this match away for free to build to a pay-per-view.

FLAIR BACKSTAGE on the speaker phone with BISCHOFF
Yep Flair warns Bischoff.

BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE
Bully is trending worldwide. He gets asked Storm or Roode at Lockdown. Bully Ray says he’s the next world champion. Bully heads to the ring to call out Austin Aries.

BULLY RAY & ARIES ANGLE (great for both guys)
Bully Ray is calfzilla. He cuts down Austin Aries for his lack of size. Aries then appears. Aries acts like he is gonna cut a promo and ends up popping Bully with the microphone. After a beatdown, Bully Rag gives him a walking, diving powerbomb. It looked awesome and was worth a replay. This was great for both guys.

JOESEPH PARK BACKSTAGE (a waste of time)
Joe asks the caterer, because his brother has a ravenous appetite. You know Hulk once saw Abyss’s face. Hmmm… Oh but no one remembers that.

AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (and a challenge)
He things James will win. AJ is now wearing gloves. Storm appears to challenge AJ. Eh this works and keeps Storm fresh with matches. AJ should want a title shot if he beats Storm and if Storm beats Roode at Lockdown.

KNOCKOUTS CHALLENGE >> MICKIE JAMES vs TARAvs WINTER vs ANGELINA LOVE vs MADISON RAYNE vs VELVET SKYE (and flawed logic)
Winter is announced from parts unknown. I could swear she’s fromEngland somewhere. If she had an American accent, I’d say she’s fromAlaska. Or how about the clouds above? Looks like Angelina is just a heel instead of with Winter. I hate to admit it, but Winter and Rayne have my two favorite themes in TNA. Why? I guess because they sound different from any other theme.

Apparently this match is the first fall with only 2 people at a time with the need to tag out. Strange. Why would anyone tag in? Just blind tags I guess. A match like this should either be 6 at a time or offer a punishment for the loser. Otherwise there is no reason to tag out. If I had to predict a winner, I’d say Velvet Skye, because that’s who won last week, but knowing TNA it could be Winter. If this was the WWE I’d say Rosita, because she’s not even in the match.

There is an awesome spot where Velvet is in with Rayne, who then tags out to Mickie James to make face vs face. When Mickie goes to get in Rayne kicks her out. This becomes a spotfest like all big matches. In the end, one woman is standing tall, which is great, because usually TNA has this problem of when there’s a winner everyone is in the ring, so you don’t get a visual of one person being above the rest.

ANDERSONBACKSTAGE with ROODE (less annoying than usual)
Anderson is backstage. Roode appears with his suited bodyguards.Anderson wonders why wait til tonight when we can fight right now? Isn’t right now tonight? Whatever. The suits get inAnderson’s face he touches their ties. They’ll wait til later tonight.

TNA at CMAs (with Kiss)
You get to see Jeff Hardy and James Storm posing with Kiss. I swear this was CMAs… Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it is the ACMs or whatever. I wonder how much Gene Simmons asked to be paid for standing in the background. 

ERIC YOUNG’s BACHELOR PARTY (and how lame it is)
3 nerds with Eric Young picking fantasy baseball online. ODB appears to give the men a party. Insults the men and chases them away. She’s subtly chasing away everyone from Eric Young. They might as well have Eric put in a closet. She then pulls Eric close for a face full of cleavage.

JAMES STORM vs AJ STYLEZ (AJ is still a star)
Montgomery Gentry is in the crowd and James says hi. This could be awesome, but since this is TNA I see it going 4 minutes. AJ looks very strange with gloves. I like how the crowd is chanting for AJ who is the midcarder. Early on AJ summersaults out of the way of the Last Call. I think TNA should just call it Last Call instead of Last Call Super Kick. Tennay plugs the MotorCity Machine Guns are next.

This match has some good logical counters and reversals, such as elbows to a rear waist lock to break the clasp. Good match, the crowd is firmly behind AJ for 80% of the match. It is interesting to see their physiques when both of them started out with the same skinny body 10 years ago. Good finish with the winner checking on his friend. This match made AJ look good and actually show his stuff.

James Storm gets on the mic and wants Robert Roode next week to look him in the eye one last time before Lockdown.

HOGAN & STING BACKSTAGE
Hogan sends Sting home. Sting says the doctors won’t let him compete. Good. Use Sting sparingly.

MONTGOMERY GENTRY BACKSTAGE w/ ROBERT ROODE
They lightly put over TNA and put over James Storm. Robert Roode appears and spits in the face of Montgomery Gentry. This was good. Hopefully TNA

MOTORCITY MACHINE GUNS vs MEXICAN AMERICA (terrible missed opportunity)
Sabin was injured one year ago in a botched spot against Mexican America. TNA really should have put this on pay-per-view with some hype behind it. People would pay money to see their return or at least their first match into their return. By just throwing out the guns it felt like Sabin had never left and he was just a regular guy. There were brief, emphatic chants of ‘Welcome back.’ But there were more chants of ‘Motor city.’

Personally, if I were Sabin, I’d be working on Anarchya’s knee to take him out and make him disappear for a while (to OVW). There was a spot where Shelly flew off the top and landed on Anarchya who had his knees bent. Not a block, just coincidental. Anyway, the Guns looked awesome.

Sabin gets on the mic and says he wants the titles. He doesn’t mention how great it is to be back.

RIC FLAIR BACKSTAGE intercepts ERIC BISCHOFF
Flair says Hogan is out of control. Eric calls Ric a two time hall-of-famer. Flair says that Hogan is out of control because he’s making matches for Lockdown. Oh no! An authority figure making matches? TNA plugs a Bischoff & Hogan in the ring for a confrontation.

HOGAN & BISCHOFF ANGLE
Hogan is in the ring and calls out Bischoff who then appears. Thank goth this wasn’t the main event after the last match. I’m much happier with this match under the main event. Eric Bischoff says blah blah blah. This is something I’ve heard from him so many times. Against Garrett Bischoff, Vince McMahon, Steve Austin. Probably other guys too.

Hogan says that Eric needs to put together a team for Lockdown and Garrett will make the other team. I like this idea. Garrett doesn’t need to be in a singles cage match. Hmmm Gunner & Mexican America vs Garrett & uh… Anthony Neese & D-Von.

If Garrett loses he’s off TNA and if Eric’s team loses he can no longer use his own name for the rest of his life. Yep… Maybe he will be Bob Smith.

STORM VIDEO
A great video recap with the split of Beer Money interviewing Storm and people from his life, his friends, wife, and family. Storm even has a baby in his arms. James Storm is Joe Everyman. This video was good and it really pushes Storm vs Roode as something special to TNA.

MR. ANDERSON vs ROBERT ROODE (what match?)
Andersonsays Mr. Anderson.Anderson. Then walks to the ring. Ken Anderson looks terrible, like he’s ill with the flu and they’re making him wrestle. Maybe he has food poisoning or something. He also wears a shirt that says ‘pro wrestling is real.’ Since he has the sleeves well cut off, it looks like the shirt says ‘no wrestling is real.’ At least Mr. Anderson has a win going into this match and at least Robert Roode has a fresh match that doesn’t involve Hardy, Bully or Storm. Wow Bobby is thin compared to the TNA title. He only has 1 set of buttons buttoned. Maybe TNA needs magnets on the belt to keep the strap from just flapping like that.

For whatever reasonAndersonhas 33 on the back of his wrestling trunks, is that his age? Is that the highway he lives next to? Tennay announces that there will be a series of matches between team Garrett vs team Gunner. I like how no one really pays attention to the match in the ring. The commentators just recap what we’ve seen and what we will see.

Ref bump. Ken Anderson gets the visionary. Well I smell the first feud after Roode loses the title at Lockdown. Heck he might not even lose the title and this might be the main event program after Lockdown. Beer bottle finish. Poor referee has to count in the glass.Andersonis bleeding. I also like how no one can say Bobby Roode, they always say Bobby Rooooo.

James Storm appears with Hogan. That’s like a boy appearing with his dad to confront a bully. Good job TNA. Hogan reverses the decision. Maybe this was inAnderson’s contract where he needs to get a win over Bobby Roooo. After that final match, I just have a bad taste in my mouth.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should have been) (in my mind) (03/15/12)

I assume with 5 weeks between Victory Road and the last PPV that TNA had 2 TV tapings for 5 episodes. I pity the fans that had to sit through this second TV taping since it was probably 4 hours.

TNA RANKS (because I discuss them…)
TOP FACES

  1. Sting
  2. James Storm
  3. Jeff Hardy
  4. Garrett Bischoff
  5. Joe
  6. Magnus
  7. Eric Young
  8. ODB
  9. Aries
  10. AJ Stylez
  11. Mr Anderson

TOP HEELS

  1. Robert Roode
  2. Bully Ray
  3. Kurt Angle
  4. Gunner
  5. Crimson
  6. Matt Morgan
  7. Zema Ion
  8. KAZ
  9. Christopher Daniels

OPENING SEGMENT WITH JAMES STORM w/ BULLY RAY (who saved things)
James comes out and poorly hypes his match next month against Robert Roode… he’s waited for the opportunity since November 2011… which would make sense if he hasn’t had a few singles matches against Robert Roode…

Bully Ray comes out which is what this segment needed, because eh his promos are pretty generic with no sizzle. We all love James Storm, but he needs to put pizzazz on his promos other than his catch phrase. When Bully Ray came out he livened up. Bully announces Storm will face Gunner. This is great honestly. Gunner has heat even if he is a midcarder. I have no problem with them chopping off the head of a hot midcarder to get heat on the #2 face.

GAIL & RAYNE BACKSTAGE (w/ STING)
Bickering… Sting announces Velvet vs Rayne & Mickie vs Gail. At least this was kept short.

TNA SHOPZONE COMMERCIAL
Terrible. Doesn’t make me want to buy any merchandise. Put a price up on the basketball jerseys. I’m tired of commenting how bad the Knockouts Shopzone commercials are.

RAYNE vs VELVET SKYE (meh needed to put over a finisher)
The beauty queen vs the hooker. You take a pick which is which. Velvet has been on a quiet tear in TNA over the pash few months after losing a lot after she won the Knockouts title 4 months ago. Interesting how Rayne has the USA flag on her shorts. The crowd is behind Velvet… but not nearly as much as ODB. This match features Velvet selling a lot, which is a good thing when the other woman has a title match. The crowd stays behind Velvet in the whole match. The right women won… well right woman for this month. The only problem I had is the winner didn’t use a finisher!!!!! Pisses me off. Need to put over Velvet’s finisher when I can’t even remember what her finisher is other than the head humping into the mat which is not a finisher. TNA NEEDS FINISHERS!!! Even if she cheats to win, it needs to be after a finisher!!!! TNA throws to…

MORGAN & CRIMSON BACKSTAGE + RECAP OF TAG TEAM
TNA pairs guys together to tear them apart. Sure its good for one tag team, but TNA does it all the time. Crimson plugs how he’s undefeated for 14 months. That’s BS when I’ve seen Crimson pinned on Impact. Whatever. Undefeated in singles competition doesn’t mean much.

CRIMSON vs JOE (and I know who wins)
Unfortunately with Crimson having the streak gimmick I know who will win.  Joe looks either dirty or hairy. Like covered with dirt or something which doesn’t make sense. Maybe it is bruising. The crowd is quickly behind Crimson. What are they on crack? Oh well. The chant died quick. Joe shines in this match and entertains the crowd. Crimson chants… Joe continues to crush Crimson who is a sack in this match. Crimson gets in the ref’s face, typical heel move. Since 2 weeks ago the heel tag team champs paired with the top face… they’re faces now. Morgan interferes. They’re making the double turn which makes it interesting. It also means Morgan & Joe are on the same page instead of breaking up.

ANOTHER MARCH MADNESS KNOCKOUTS COMMERCIAL (its a sale)
It is a sale… but what percentage off? What’s on sale? How much are those jerseys? If only the commercials showed me. Worthless commercials. TNA can do so much better.

ARIES PROMO w/ VIDEO MONTAGUE (and ZEMA comes out)
53 X-Division championships held by 25 men. Aries is the longest running X-Division champion. This is great and I’m thankful TNA didn’t let this info slip through the cracks. Then they showed the video montage. The montage was totally different from anything TNA has shown. Bad music, but good meaning with black and white video in slow motion of Aries jumping and lounging around. Didn’t show Arie’s matches… just showed Aries in his matches.

Zema Ion comes out with his fucked up hairstyle and clean-looking clothes. Its funny because both of these lower tier guys wearing great clothes beats the main eventers wearing T-shirt & jeans. Zema mentions Jesse Saurensen proving that he’s the heel in this. He wants Aries to give him the belt before he gets injured. A good exchange with the wine. Memorable. Both guys looked great. No one looked weak. Zema threw the glass in Aries face… Aries got Zema with the bottle and threw him out. Great stuff.  I predict Zema to win at the PPV.

JOSEPH PARKS BACKSTAGE w/ GUNNER
Gunner brushes off Joseph… looks like it could be a potential culprit as to the disappearance of his brother Chris Parks.

ERIC YOUNG & ODB BACKSTAGE
First a brief recap of the proposal. They discuss where to have the wedding… VFW hall? I’ve been to one of those… Minnesota fair? Nah makes too much sense since ODB is from Minnesota. Impact? Duh yeah!

ANGLE BACKSTAGE
Announces Garrett vs Angle. Good. Cripple Garrett. Like I pointed out before take a midcarder with heat, chop off his head for a main eventer. The #3 main event heel.

MICKIE JAMES vs GAIL KIM (and the women getting in the crowd)
I’m not sure why… but I’d rather see Mickie vs Rayne and Velvet vs Gail… but I guess Velvet is someone they can make midcard money with. Good original moves from Gail. Creative and psychological wrestler she is. See working a bodypart is brilliant. You give  the loser an excuse to lose and it makes your winner look strong. Why is it they only do this with the Knockouts? This match seemed to kill the crowd. I see some of the crowd women laughing at the match. Come to think of it… there are a lot of women in the crowd, which there should be… they come for KAZ, AJ, Jeff Hardy and other gorgeous men.

Amazingly the crowd might be silent for the match but the crowd is still into it. I guess they’re silent watching. They still clap and chant and cheer when the face does something but they’re silent when Gail does is on offense. Gail Kim wins cheating… Two heels win by cheating. So expect a cheating finish. Gail Kim is someone who has recently gotten her finisher over… which is good.

MR ANDERSON & KAZ & DANIELS BACKSTAGE (killing any heat there was)
KAZ & Daniels are hecklers really. These two are a non entity since a returning wrestler Anderson steals the heat. Then kills it when Daniels knocks over Anderson’s drink and Anderson says… oh noooo… not that… not that… not … that. There went any heat. Hope they didn’t show this to the crowd. They setup Anderson vs Daniels.

IMPACT WORLD TOUR COMMERCIAL
Interview with a fan saying it has inspired him to get into the business. Eh wasn’t the best comment unless we actually see this guy next year. Anyway the point is to put heat on your live events and they announced where the tour will be next.

ANDERSON vs DANIELS (and how bad Anderson is in the ring)
First of all… TNA gives away Anderson’s first match in four months on free TV. Dumbasses. Sure you’ve got 3 episodes at one TV taping but they really should have left a question in fan’s minds to buy the PPV. But whatever. TNA doesn’t want your money. Next… I forgot how much I hate Anderson… and what a one trick pony he is and how basic of a wrestler he is.

Tennay plugs that KAZ has Stockholm syndrome. Yeah whatever Tennay. Should have spun that angle 2 months ago. Now it just seems stupid and tacked on but hey whatever. Just great wrestlers saddled with a bad angle.

The crowd is slowing down. Brief chant to fire up Anderson but no one got behind it. Daniels wrestling is beautiful. He’s working with a corpse. Anderson looks like he’s out of gas and really sucking wind. Then Anderson does his twisting neckbreaker and he’s even more sucking wind. He does his double kick which used to be beautiful, but now it just sucked. He’s so tired. Oh good KAZ comes out to make sure no match can end without chicanery. AJ comes out for the save… which prevents interference. Good job TNA. Daniels continues his losing streak. Anderson has a long way to go to meet KAZ, Daniels and AJ in the ring. Why wasn’t RVD the one to come back? Does he still have a contract?

JEFF HARDY BACKSTAGE
He recaps that he’d be champion if it weren’t for Kurt Angle. Now its personal… golly should have been personal weeks ago when he did the run in. He announces that he is the charismatic enigma. Eh it was kept short.

5 MINUTE CHALLENGE >> KURT ANGLE vs GARRETT BISCHOFF
If you want to get someone better… you put them in with the best as proven by the last match. It would have been interesting if Kurt Angle came out and announced an open challenge… only to be answered by Garret (and probably boos). They plug how tough Garrett is. When someone isn’t at the top level of toughness it feels like they’re trying too hard. When I imagine tough I think of Bruiser Brody, Stan Hanson, Steve Williams… NOT GARRETT BISCHOFF!!!

Kurt beats down Garrett… for 4 minutes and 30 seconds. Brilliant timing by everything. They are really trying to elevate Garrett. Match ends, Kurt throws on the ankle lock until Hardy saves him. Typical. Didn’t need Garrett to survive though. Could of had him lose with one second left and then put on the ankle lock to get saved by Hardy. I predict Angle to win at the PPV.

ROBBIE E & ROB TERRY BACKSTAGE
They have merchandise? They plug Robbie’s open challenge for the TV championship… again. Hope it is RVD… But it will be Alex Shelley.

GUNNER w/ BULLY RAY vs JAMES STORM (and why its awesome)
Tennay still mentions Immortal… Ha. Are they around still? Since none of them have appeared together in the last while I thought that Gunner, Flair and Bischoff were Immortal. Thankfully Bully Ray was with Gunner. Gunner looks intense, he looks like he should be there in that mix. Maybe its just his heat. Speaking of heat… wouldn’t it be awesome if Gunner DDTed Hogan on the concrete floor?

Gunner is the perfect guy for James to go over. Gunner isn’t in your top 3 matches at the PPV he has heat, energy, intensity. This was a good match, Gunner knows the motions. When you pull hair you check your hand for the strands of hair. When the face fires at you in the beginning, you know to duck in the ropes to get him off you. You even know the standing chin lock for a good visual. He looks like a good heel. He even swings blindly at the air toward the end when he was loopy.

Bully Ray fakes a run in after the match… Personally I feel the show should have ended with this… but you can’t end with the #2 match on the PPV… you’ve got to end with…

STING & ROODE CONTRACT SIGNING (and the boring promo)
They start with a brief recap that doesn’t put any heat on the match. In fact for the past 5 weeks these two have been non entities. They started with Roode beating down Sting. Then Sting said he’s done… then turned crazy Sting… Roode got laid out 2x and now here we are at the contract signing. This feels like it shouldn’t be the #1 match at the PPV.

I hope TNA keeps Sting out for a few months after this match so that James Storm can be the #1 face. But in reality it might just end up being Bully vs Sting at Lockdown. Roode goes into a speech after signing the contract. His speeches are so boring that I’m more content to just type about what I’d rather see. Yawn. Thank god he’s not opening the show with those droning promos. The fans look bored since they’re propping their heads up with their hands and arms. Lazy fans… can’t even stand tall to watch this main event angle… Main event… show closer… Christ Roode isn’t done talking yet. Sting just sits there. I think he’s a mannequin. Holy shit Roode talking is killing my want to live. Thank god I’m watching this at 8 am so I won’t fall back asleep. Sting really is a manniquen.

Shouldn’t there be some face that says you bore me Bobby! Bored to tears! How about some action? Sting continues to say nothing after 5+ minutes of Roode talking. Maybe Sting fell asleep he has his sunglasses on. At least Bobby is getting heel heat with anti Bobby chants. That’s the first anti chant of the show. Oh good Sting woke up from his nap. Overtuns the table puts on makeup.

And… Roode gets laid out… again. So to recap… Sting laid out once 5 weeks ago. Roode laid out 3x in 3 weeks. Way to sell your champion and sell PPVs. Finish the show with a face beatdown of a heel. Why watch the PPV when we’ve seen Sting just kick his ass… but I guess we’re seeing the match not the finish.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should have been) (in my mind) (03/01/12)

TNA OPENING VIDEOS
Video recaps how dumb the Roode & Storm ‘I’m done’ statement was.
Kurt Angle has cue cards to explain why he did what he did to Jeff Hardy. He’s laughing because he knows how stupid this is…
TNA got a new intro. Looks good … but generic. No intensity to the opening. It doesn’t get me fired up to watch TNA, but it does look good. 

KURT ANGLE PROMO (to explain how stupid his program is with Jeff Hardy)
Look he has cue cards because he knows how stupid this is, so he’s gonna make it stupider. Jeff Hardy is not a wrestler he’s a performance artist. Jeff Hardy reminds me how fake wrestling is with his loose and sloppy work. That was not part of his speech. That’s my speech. Kurt Angle’s top reasons to hate Hardy are meh at best… bottom line is that he’s jealous of Jeff Hardy. This should have been explained half a month ago… OR THEY COULD HAVE STARTED THE FEUD BETTER! 

An Olympic gold medalist even from a decade ago should be dominating a backyard wrestling risk taker. To me… Jeff Hardy should be proving he’s the wrestler that I think he’s not. And by I… that means Kurt Angle. The Olympian shouldn’t be jealous he should be dominant and a joke like Jeff shouldn’t hold a candle to him and Jeff should train mat wrestling to even hang with Kurt. Then Kurt Angle destroys hardy at the PPV… and Hardy challenges Kurt to his type of match, a ladder match. Then it is tied 1 – 1 with all the marbles in a match that benefits neither man. Do this over the span of 4 or 5 months.

ROBERT ROODE BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW (and then Aries enters)
Austin Aries is over because he’s the top dog in his division. Personally I feel Aries is the top heel if not top star and they should open up his pool. If someone on top like Angle or Bully or Roode disappears, Aries should lose his title and take their place. 

TNA MERCH COMMERCIAL (and how stupid it is)
It is March, let’s sell jerseys. All of the Knockouts in the commercial are wearingJerseys… so they must be selling them. How much? Who the hell knows. But… Knockouts are wearing them or it’s to hype up basketball. Perhaps an AJ Styles basketball jersey or a Bully Ray one for the heels. I’ve noticed TNA has 2 weeks of commercials with the Knockouts then 2 weeks of commercials that sell merchandise. The point is selling merchandise not using the Knockouts under contract. 

GAUNTLET MATCH >> AJ vs DANIELS (a staple of AJ’s month)
AJ wants answers… well Kurt Angle gave answers… so why not Daniels giving answers? At least this match has heat on it unlike the last 2 times they had it. Sure it’s a good match, but they have burnt it out for me and they need to make me want to see it and promise of an answer gets heat on the match. As I’ve said for weeks feuding over a title could get heat on their feud and the belt even if it is the TNA title. AJ would have something Daniels and KAZ both want. Daniels and KAZ or AJ & KAZ can light a fire in the TNA tag division. 

GAUNTLET MATCH >> AJ vs KAZ (excellent)
This was handled excellently. Kudos TNA with how this was handled. Didn’t give away the match. But there’s one problem… now we’re still searching for an answer.

ODB vs RAYNE (and a storyline that combines 2 of TNA’s favorite things)
So the Rayne vs Kim program combines 2 of TNA’s favorite things… a feuding tag team and heel vs heel for the championship. Then this match combines another one of TNA’s things… Eric Young. ODB still has heat because of Eric. Eric should still be a manager of someone dull like Crimson or Shannon Moore. PreferablyShannon. 

This was a bad match with way too much going on. EY running around, Gail pretending to run in. The right woman won, but your #1 contender lost. I smell a TNA Knockout’s tag title defense at the next pay-per-view… which I assume isVictory Road, but a trailer or some hype for the PPV itself would help.

BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE (and about Storm Storm Storm Storm)
Oh Christ not another Bully Ray vs Storm match (it seemed like it). I don’t want to see another for 3 months. TNA should have kept that match for a PPV. Now I don’t care. Bully, Angle, Roode, Hardy, Storm and Sting are money for TNA. They need to stay away from one another unless it’s for money. I don’t want to see matches on free TV when they are the moneymen. I’d rather see Bully Ray vs Shannon Moore, Storm vs Daniels, Roode vs Morgan, Angle vs Crimson every month than seeing a constant combination of those 6 guys every week.

VELVET / ANGELINA / SARITA BACKSTAGE BRAWL
Thank goth this was kept to less than a minute. Their backstage brawls always went too long. Thank goth Velvet didn’t talk for more than 5 seconds. I still remember how Sarita the heel was looking good as a face over that heelish face Velvet Skye. Then they come back from commercial to have Velvet complain longer and get beat down longer. Remember what I just said about at least it wasn’t long. I take it back. This was too long. Why was it Angelina and Sarita and not Sarita and Rosita or Angelina and Winter. This wasn’t the worst segment, but it sets up a match for later on.

FLAIR to GARRETT BACKSTAGE
Flair promo. I’m sure people will love it. I didn’t care. Flair got paid. 

ROODE, ARIES & BULLY RAY PROMO (and why a heel authority is better than  a face)
Heel promo. I’ve heard Roode talk way too much. Please pass the mic. If you have something more interesting to say that doesn’t sound the same as last week then please say it! Roode is done afterVictory Road. Bully talks about his calves and he blames Sting for bringing in Brandon Jaccobs. So the heels have a problem with face management. I’m not sure I like heels complaining against a face authority figure instead of a heel authority figure and the faces fighting the authority. Sure it’s been done before and maybe that’s why they went the other route. That and it puts too much heat on Sting, because a face authority figure will fight by himself instead of a heel authority figure will throw wave after wave of wrestler! Several wrestlers have the heat put on them by authority. 

Austin Aries makes sense and he delivers intensity. I appreciate and enjoy his promos and logic instead of Roode’s promos that just drone on with no real logic behind them. Again if some main eventer gets injured, Aries should take the place. Imagine Aries vs Storm, Aries vs AJ, Aries vs Hardy. Maybe Aries isn’t in their pay grade.

Sting appears and verbally makes sense that they’re all wrestlers and they need money. Sting makes the main event, halfway through the show. I can imagine how that would bother some people. 

JESSE SORENSEN UPDATE
Oh no don’t talk about him getting back into the ring. No talk about getting back to being able to sit up. Its great that he will return, but it’s a long term thing, lets work on being able to sit up. 

ZIMA ION BACKSTAGE PROMO
This was great, but I guess I didn’t want to hear it at the moment. 

ZIMA vs SHANNON
Good I’m happy they have this match. Zima is coming into his own with his ugly ass fro and arrogance. Good throw away match. Good to seeShannon. Good flashy maneuvers. It is a shame when a top rope head scissors doesn’t finish someone off. Very good flashy finisher that looks very safe, a backward fireman’s carry into an over knee face buster. Very good. Especially after my complaints for the past three weeks. Zima is coming along nicely and evolving into something all within the past month. 

TNA LIVE EVENTS COMMERCIALS (and how awesome they are)
These little commercials really sell TNA live events. As much as I’ve complained about the TNA Shopzone commercials being terrible, these are awesome and sell the interaction that you get when attending a TNA live event even if its not televised.

VELVET & MICKIE vs SARITA & ANGELINA
I don’t think they need a reason for this match. Mickie gets ratings, Sarita is great in the ring, Velvet is TNA’s golden girls and Angelina is underrated and been stuck in the mud for at least a year. Mike Tennay & Tazz talk about entertainment in music and TV, not exactly sure why, but whatever. Maybe it is to make TNA seem more current. This match had a lot more energy and heat than ODB vs Rayne earlier on tonight, which is a surprise since there is no reason for this match to be so good. At the end of all of this… it means nothing. 

ABYSS DISAPPEARED (he’s gone)
I have this crazy idea… feed men to Abyss. 1 minute jobs, intense, powerful destructions against Moore, Anthony Neese, and Doug Williams. Destroy them. Feed your monster for a month before you sent out a gladiator to take on the monster and build to that. First Crimson. Abyss can laugh at the boy trying to take him out. Feed Crimson to Abyss. Then Morgan. Month by month… Abyss eats 3 jobbers for lunch with an even match at the PPV. After a few months of destroying people have him go through a main eventer like Hardy or Bully Ray. Then take on the top face or top heel and that’s where Abyss can get defeated in 5 months. A man who has destroyed wrestlers and won 16 matches in a row finally falls to your great warrior. It is simple booking or have him go through your champion or top warrior too and become an unstoppable monster that can last another 6 months. But I guess they’re busy pushing Roode as a cheat to win champion. 

STORM / MAGNUS / JOE vs ROODE / ARIES / BULLY RAY (and why I give a damn)
You know what I’m thrilled at this, a fresh main event. Sure it still involves the 3 guys I complain about, but that’s only 50% of the match. It elevates Aries, Joe and Magnus. Those three that I mentioned each have a fire under them right now with the fans firmly behind them and a hunger for them. Those 2 things mean a lot. Fans chant for Joe and Aries. The one complaint is when did Joe & Magnus turn? Oh it doesn’t matter; they’re faces in the eyes of the fans due to their amazing chemistry, speed and finesse. Everything that Aries has as well.

It was a great start that was generously slow burning. My first complaint was when Storm was tagged in and Roode bailed… Storm just stopped dead in his tracks, he should have attacked Bully Ray, Aries and gone to the floor to fight Roode before getting poked in the eyes and beaten down. That’s not what I want to see in your top face… I don’t want a guy that just stops dead in his tracks. Maybe if they had weapons or something. Your top face should be able to take out everyone but your top heel. Oh and to top it off Storm has tangled with Roode a few times since being screwed out of the title a few months ago.

Joe & Bully Ray. This could be a money match and just this sample of it is awesome. I’m sure if this wasJapanthey’d work a 20 minute classic, but since this isAmericait would be slow when they have a 1 on 1 match. Speaking of Joe, wow his chest is red.

This match has a fire to it that I haven’t seen in months for TNA. The crowd is chanting for workers in the ring. The match has a freshness seeing Joe in there with anyone. It has me getting into this match and that’s something I haven’t said about a TNA Impact match in months.

Storm has a fire in his hot tag and this feels like a main event and not just another match. I actually give a damn about who will win and there it was.

As for the post match I would have had a celebration, but hey it’s TNA. Gotta end it on a low note, at least they didn’t just cut to some Sting angle.