Tag Archives: Joseph Park

Everything Right with TNA Impact (07/05/12)

BULLY RAY PROMO on TWITTER (legal action)
Oh good… TNA has been bit by the Twitter bug. Those suck more than kajiggers… which burrow down into your skin. Bully questions Joseph Park has the pair of nuts to smack him in the face. Joseph Park comes down to the ring. The crowd is hot. Joseph gives Bully Ray a legal lesson with presidency. Abyss / Chris / Joseph Park has always had an impressive presence and even in a suit its no different. Joseph accepts the challenge with no rules. Bully Ray pulls out a paper… using the Christopher Daniels methodology of heat. It is a restraining order against Abyss.

AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE w/ HULK HOGAN (good and brief)
This was good. Aries is a fresh, good character. Hogan wants the belt tonight.

DANIELS / DIXIE RECAP w/ DIXIE BACKSTAGE
Daniels says Claire Lynch is preggers. AJ Styles is the daddy! Mu-ah-ha-ha-ha. Then Dixie is backstage with the road agents. She is asked questions by the mysterious interviewer and there is no answers.

CRIMSON vs DEVON (quick match that sets up something for someone else)
Crimson loses his streak at the last pay-per-view and disappears from TV for 3 weeks… so he gets a title shot. At least show how Crimson has been winning at house shows. Why isn’t Crimson in the BFG Series? He was undefeated for 18 months. Devon is a gatekeeper for D level talent. I have no problem with Devon in this role. It keeps him strong and gives an evaluation of lesser talent. Crimson makes one of the crappiest pin attempts ever that somehow ends up with Devon on top. Quick match thank goth.

Madison Rayne comes marching to the ring. I think she wants some chocolate. Nope its someone else she wants. I fully expected this after a few months ago. This could build to a title reign for someone.

CHRIS SABIN PROMO (a heel needs heat)
Sabin is on crutches. He has some thick sideburns. It is a horrifying shame that he injured both ACLs, one after another. This has to be extremely discouraging since he’s not a main eventer. TNA probably doesn’t pay all the bills. He needs to have another job and that’s a shame. The fans are firmly behind him.

Out comes Robert Roode. This is another guy that should quit if he had two ACL injuries… even if he is a main eventer. He gets heat by verbally running him down and saying its just like every other X-Divisioner. Roode kicks out Sabin’s crutch. It really sucks that I feel anyone else could do the same job or better than Robert Roode. Austin Aries runs in for the save.

X-DIVISION >> DAKOTA DARSOW vs FLIP CASSANOVA (Dakota couldn’t keep up his end)
Dakota Darsow is the son of Barry Darsow. Nothing wrong with that. Flip looks like Sonjay Dutt… and the first words out of Mike Tennay’s mouth are Sonjay Dutt. Some sloppy high-flying from Flip Cassady off the bat, but he makes up for it with a backflip senton butt splash. Dakota Darsow is really struggling to keep up or even maintain himself. I hope Flip wins. Darsow has a long way to go. He’s got a good look, but I don’t see X-Division from him. I see TV title division. Dakota Darsow has a bloody nose. Good little match. Dakota Darsow didn’t keep up his end of the bargain.

Flip has some of Dakota’s blood on him. Flip waits to be interviewed and gets nothing…

BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA BACKSTAGE
Brooke has a tag match with Tara. Tara calls her Boo 2x. Very quick.

GUT CHECK RECAP >> TAYLOR HENDRIX
She didn’t like that she was called not tough enough. The camera loves her and so do you fans. If only her name wasn’t Taeler Hendrix. I chose not to spell her name correctly, since she chose to say she’s a cancer survivor when she’s really a misdiagnosed. Like oh I thought I was pregnant, but it was just gas.

MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM vs BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA (match makes Tara looks good)
Next week Gail Kim gets her title shot… I thought it was this week, but whatever. It should probably be on the pay-per-view. Does anyone remember when it was Terra? Mike Tennay mentions the main event, James Storm vs Jeff Hardy. I totally forgot. This match was quicker than most TNA knockout’s matches. Short match, more of a win.

JAMES STORM LOCKDOWN RECAP w/ JEFF HARDY MATCH HYPE
James Storm recaps Lockdown then talks about Jeff Hardy. Not much here.

AJ PROMO on CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (dropping the angle)
He yells out at Christopher Daniels…. who thankfully comes out to save this segment. Don’t let AJ Styles talk about this ever. KAZ comes out with Daniels and says AJ gets junkie whores pregnant. Daniels has a martini glass… an empty one from the look of it. Christopher Daniels starts some long-winded speech and AJ just tells him to shut up. Holy shit this feud has been going on for a full year. That’s not a compliment. That’s a … let’s move on! I consider the Claire Lynch angle officially dropped by TNA.

HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE interrupted by MASKED MAN
Hogan doing an interview, gets interrupted by one of the masked men that attacked Sting a few weeks ago. He delivers a piece of paper with some carts on it. At least they mentioned the angle.

JEFF HARDY VIDEO
He’s inspired by this series since he missed last year’s series. He wants to end the selfish generation. I kind of thought Jeff Hardy lead the selfish generation what with the drugs and house explosions.

X-DIVISION >> KENNY KING vs LARS ONLY (another X-division match)
Kenny King from ROH and I think from WWE Tough Enough season 2. Good to see someone from any Tough Enough season in still in wrestling. Good match, longer and less reckless than the other match. Lars did some sort of leg trip, leg sweep that looked painful to Kenny King. Tazz said it sucked, but I think that’s how it was supposed to look… painful. I don’t have much to say about this match. I think Christie Hemmy announced Kenny as Kenny Kane.

Christie interviews Kenny King. The fans are behind him in more ways than one.

I’ve come to realize that none of TNA’s own X-Division guys has a match on TV even if they’ll get matches on the Destination X pay-per-view. Bring in new guys and have them go for the title. If anything hopefully Sonjay Dutt will get the X-Division title.

AUSTIN ARIES BEFORE THE BELL PREVIEW (good show everyone seems to love it)
I’ve seen the Before the Bell special with Austin Aries. It is full of good phrases. So many good phrases, you don’t even need to watch it, just listen for 30 minutes which 24 of it is Austin Aries talking.

KENNY KING & AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE (good rub for Kenny King)
They know each other… and they’re happy. Good rub for Kenny King who then disappears so Austin can get asked about relinquishing the belt. Yep.

BFG LEADERBOARD
James Storm > Samoa Joe > Magnus > Kurt Angle

BFG SERIES >> JAMES STORM vs JEFF HARDY (Storm sells for Hardy)
Wow this main event is starting early. It makes me think Claire the junkie slut will be the main event. Jeff Hardy comes out looking like a performance artist on coke. He shares a moment with the crowd. It must suck that Jeff Hardy is still over James Storm. Even if Hardy loses 100 times to Storm… it will still be Jeff Hardy > James Storm. There are plenty of dueling chants. There are a lot of lockups and holds… because this is the main event and they have the time. They come back from commercial and Tazz talks about how crazy it got in the commercial with a street fight on the outside… yet no video clips. It is so hilarious watching James Storm sell for Jeff Hardy, who is too weak to muscle him into selling. Like a leg trip, you see James Storm start falling before Jeff Hardy pulls him. You see the camera angles shift so viewers don’t see the miss between Jeff Hardy’s feet and Storm’s face. Now 100% of the fans are behind Jeff Hardy… who has 90% of the offense of this match. But when James Storm gets a move, Jeff Hardy sells like he’s dead for way too long. But whatever. Good match, gives fans time to get invested in the outcome.

After the match, the winner gives the loser a handshake. Good clean match.

BFG LOCATION
Mike Tennay and Tazz announce that Bound for Glory is going to Phoenix, AZ.

BACKSTAGE w/ KURT ANGLE then MR. ANDERSON
They both briefly talk about the BFG Series and Tennay plugs Mr. Anderson vs Kurt Angle. Then Brooke Tessmacher vs Gail Kim. Bully Ray vs Joseph Park.

HULK HOGAN ANGLE w/ …
This puts a lot of heat on Austin Aries. Anyway, Hogan does a good job of plugging Destination-X, Jeff Hardy, James Storm and Austin Aries. Robert Roode comes out. Robert Roode is so generic. Like he checks all the boxes that meet with a great heel… except for personality. As I’ve pointed out before the real feud seems to be Hulk Hogan & Robert Roode. Roode always has great points. I just wish it was coming from someone better. Austin Aries comes out… Austin Aries gives this match and Roode’s title heat.

lol when Austin and Roode get in each other’s faces… the fans chant for Hogan. Aries ends up holding up both belts and it looks awesome. Great job TNA. Aries gives Hogan the X-Division title and holds up the TNA world title to close the show.

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Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (6/28/12)

AJ STYLES & DIXIE CARTER BACKSTAGE (brief)
Another brief backstage thing with AJ saying he’s gonna beat up Daniels and Kazarian. At least this was quick and painless compared to Derrek Bateman backstage at NXT. I still feel that TNA can salvage the Clare Lynch / AJ / Dixie / Daniels / KAZ storyline and you can read about it here… (http://wp.me/p1Prve-j9)

BFG >> MR. ANDERSON vs RVD (surprisingly good … maybe because it wasn’t bad)
Mr. Anderson looks at the mic too long. He talks too long. Do we have any assholes in the building tonight. Yayyyy he’s swearing He swore! Let’s cheer him. He hails from Green Bay Wisconsin. As a Chicagoan… you shouldn’t be proud of that, but whatever. Tennay runs down Mr. Anderson winning 2 points at a TNA live event for a time limit draw. When TNA goes to a commercial they need to throw up the wins / losses in a round robin graph.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. As of last year… I never want to see this match again. Tennay mentions that there is now a 15 minute time limit. I’d rather have a 10 minute time limit, but whatever. RVD does an Indian death lock and Anderson crawls out of it which made it very awkward for RVD. RVD has some good submissions and Anderson has some legitimate fight out of the submissions. Looked good. Over the past few months Anderson has gotten better… and this comment comes from someone that doesn’t like him. RVD has some very beautiful moves and submissions.

The crowd stays hot for this match and that’s what’s really important. This was a good little match and it was the right amount of time for me to get into it and actually care, which is something I couldn’t say about any match last week. James Storm > Samoa Joe > Kurt Angle > Mr Anderson > RVD so far in the BFG Series

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO (good, not gold)
TNA shows that someone else is coming to the ring. They play his music and I have no idea who’s coming to the ring… then they reveal its Austin Aries. Oh yeah. I have no idea what his entrance looks like and I watch every week.

Aries explains his choice last week to sacrifice the belt… that would be something good for the Sacrifice PPV. He also explains that the X-Division will have a tournament at Destination X to determine the new title. Good. That was my idea last year, along the lines of the Super Junior tournament in Japan.

Robert Roode comes down. He looks like an accountant. Austin Aries looks like a magician, but I’d rather pay to see a magician than pay to see an accountant. Robert Roode says that he’s made the belt worth something. See I disagree. He needs more clean wins. Austin Aries has had good clean wins. Roode points out the BFG series will have 12 men fighting for a chance at the title. Well Aries should point out that the X-Division will have a tournament. Robert Roode brings up Hulk Hogan. Makes me think the real feud here is Hogan vs Roode not Roode vs Storm or even the man he’s standing with.

Aries heats things up when he dares Roode to take him out of his rings. The crowd is hot. They get read, then Roode bails. Aries should have jumped at him when Roode bailed.

CLARE LYNCH RECAP / CLARE LYNCH BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW w/ DIXIE (terrible)
Terrible stuff. Their backstage interviewer is no longer Jason Hervy. The interviewer asks her how she met Dixie. Oh through a party at Dixie’s. Uggg. Terrible.

DANIELS & KAZ BACKSTAGE
They argue. Too brief to be good or bad.

X-DIVISION QUALIFIER >> SONJAY DUTT vs RUBIX (2 guys thrown out there cold fire up the crowd)
Dutt is back! At least for a month. He’s been in TNA’s other promotion Ring Ka King in India. I’ve heard of Rubix. This should be highly entertaining. Hopefully they can rekindle the X-Division now that its dead. But how rekindled can it be when TNA has the Bound for Glory Series? Rubix has a great look. He’s crisp and very quick. Sonjay himself is a great pro and always has been. Its great when 2 guys who haven’t been in the company or in the company for 2+ years can come in and fire up the crowd like this with no introduction. A sick backflip double stomp finisher. Clean victory. Good stuff even if it was quick. The fans are firmly behind the winner. The winner is stopped by Christy Hemme and he says says he’s never been TNA X-Division championship, so that’s his goal.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX EVALUATION
Tazz, Al Snow & Bruch Prichard backstage in the trailer to talk. Its in pure work mode. They question if she’s green or game ready. I think she’s ready with a lot of growth potential. Tazz hates when people come in with a sense of entitlement… and Taylor doesn’t have that. Bruce questions if they’ll buy a PPV because she’s on it. Truth be told so many people have found my reviews of TNA Impact because of Taylor Hendrix. Yes. She is a draw. A skinny chick with big implants. She’s a draw. Plus she’s fresher than 9/10ths of the knockouts.

BFG >> SAMOA JOE vs BULLY RAY (hard hitting and heavy lifting)
It astounds me how TNA can throw guys out cold or spend years making them lose, yet the crowd is always hot for them. This match should be awesome and at some point I would have paid for it. The crowd even knows its awesome before it happens. They’re soaking it in before they wrestle. Fans are heavy chanting through the match. This match is as you’d expect…. hard hitting and heavy lifting. What’s strange and good is Bully Ray is working the arm. Bully Ray even does a running frog splash. Toward the end of the match Joseph Park runs to the ring, Bully Ray puts his hands on Joseph who then slaps him hard. The crowd explodes.

JOSEPH PARK PROMO (good stuff)
After the match, Joseph says he’s been bullied all his life. So he challenges Bully tonight! Now he says in 2 weeks from tonight. What? Oh well 2 weeks Bully vs Joseph Park.

DIXIE & CLARE BACKSTAGE (bad)
Dixie explains all. Wow this is done in such a sterile environment to keep the fans out of it. Dixie explains Christopher Daniels twisted the facts. Daniels caught Dixie and AJ Styles planning a surprise birthday party for Dixie’s husband Serge.

KAZ & HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE (bad and dumb)
LOL wow KAZ is backpedaling. He wants to bail on Daniels. Again they can really salvage this angle if Daniels comes out and says that AJ & Dixie are lying. This woman Clare Lynch is a serrogate mother holding Dixie’s fertilized egg with AJ’s sperm. Go further not pull back. Or hell just drop it like the Sting and three masked men angle. I wanted KAZ to stay face or go heel. Not both.

MADISON RAYNE & GARRETT BISCHOFF BACKSTAGE (quick)
Garrett is wearing a bowling shirt. Madison Rayne has this crush… so she’s wondering ‘what’s he like?’ I bet its Robbie E.

2 BROOKES & 1 GAIL (the rematch is set)
Brooke Hogan tells Brooke Tessmacher that she’s the new Direct Auto spokesperson. Gail Kim arrives and it gets interesting without getting bad. Gail wants her rematch. Hogan… Brooke Hogan tells her next week she gets a rematch.

X-DIVISION QUALIFIER >> RASHAAD CAMERON vs MASON ANDREWS (high octane recklessness)
Cameron has a great look, black guy with a fro and colorful tights. He looks different. He doesn’t feel like an X-Division guy. Mason Andrews has a spring in his step. The crowd is less hot for this match. There are plenty of ooos and ahhhs. Mason has some great areal work and almost kills himself corkscrewing not high enough over the top rope to the outside. Rashaad isn’t the best worker and neither is Mason. Rashaad seems to be safer like he works a main event style while Rashaad works an X division style. Mason Andrews looks very bland even if his moves are totally flashy. Maybe he needs a mask. The fans chant this is awesome at some sloppy work. Quick match and that’s okay. The winner says that the fans know they’re looking at the next X-Division champion! Good. The fans boo him. Even better!

HULK HOGAN & JAMES STORM BACKSTAGE w/ JEFF HARDY (how’s everybody)
James Storm asks about Sting. Hogan asks about James. Hogan says next week Storm vs Jeff Hardy. This was quick and you know what’s next week. TNA is fun right now. They give you stuff to look forward to. They’re building to things and they’re using matches to prove the best.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX DECISION (the interruption)
I say she gets it, but who knows. Tazz, Al Snow and Bruce Prichard make the decision. Taylor this is a beauty pageant, make sure to wave like a queen. Tazz says… what the fans say. Al Snow says… There’s someone in the crowd… and its Joey Ryan with a sign. Awesome. He should get dragged away by security. Joey is challenging Tazz and bang there’s security. Live television. Al Snow says something. Leaving one final man to tie break! Taylor is force to cut a promo. Good promo, bad delivery. Sounded whinny, forced and not real. Bruce Prichard says he doesn’t think she’s mean enough. Huh? Whatever. Tara is mean enough and she doesn’t go anywhere. She’s the sympathetic babyface. Oh and for the dozens of people writing me in wonder, she had been misdiagnosed with cancer. She’s not a survivor.

KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (an announcement)
AJ announces that he and Daniels have a last man standing match at Destination X. Should be good…. if we didn’t see it every month for the past 4+ months.

TAG TITLES >> KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES vs CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZ
So from this show we’ve learned KAZ doesn’t want to be with Daniels. Clare Lynch and Dixie Carter are ringside watching. At the last pay-per-view this was the match of the show if not TNA’s 2012.

This really tells the story of KAZ turning on Daniels. When Angle tries to suplex Daniels and Daniels hangs onto KAZ, KAZ hits Daniels to get him to let go so Angle can suplex him. Then KAZ turns on Daniels and gives him to AJ Styles. Good little match, but not the same…

DANIELS DECLARES AJ IS THE FATHER!

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (06/07/12)

TNA IMPACT OPENING with DIXIE LAST WEEK
They recap what happened last week and then show what happened off the air. Dixie is angry marching to the production truck. Hopefully the AJ / Dixie angle doesn’t turn out to be a surprise birthday party for Serge her husband. TNA said that we’d be going backstage more and more.

DIXIE IN THE RING (heat killer)
She’s all teary eyed. Dixie feels sorry for Christopher Daniels and KAZ that they’d be so sad as to do this. So Dixie is gonna tell the truth! Enter Daniels and KAZ. Daniels has his hand taped. His hand or fingers. Daniels REALLY should have been the one to shave KAZ’s head. Be like me KAZ, be like me! We are one as a tag team. That didn’t happen. Daniels and KAZ look like jobbers wearing Slammiversary T-shirts and they don’t even carry the tag belts. Daniels harasses her. Its nice. Dixie starts trying to bash him, Kaz gives her a nice push to the corner. AJ came in for the save. This isn’t gold, I’m not sure how much heat it has. Serge comes in. He helps his wife and looks angry at AJ Stylez. Serge clocks AJ. They are going into good territory with this, but since its AJ its still unbelievable. The fans are chanting Photo-Shop? Serge leaves them, and AJ walks Dixie out. Well that’s a crowd killer.

It is soon announced AJ & Dixie left the building, but he’s in a six man tag main event!

AUSTIN ARIES & SAMOA JOE BACKSTAGE
Very briefly Joe has an issue with him. Its too brief to get heat.

THE STREAK >> CRIMSON vs AUSTIN ARIES (uh boy)
Crimson issues an open challenge for the PPV. Fight him and lose! Then screams Undefeated!

I still want to point out Crimson was pinned as a tag champion. If anyone on the TNA roster should beat Crimson, it should be Austin Aries. If anyone can get a good match out of Crimson it is Austin Aries. The crowd is behind Aries. But with Joe and Aries having an issue just before the match, that might telegraph the winner. It didn’t last week.

BROOKE BACKSTAGE w/ FACE KNOCKOUTS (surprisingly good)
Look at these outfits! Look at these bodies! They’re more beautiful in person! She’s clearly a face. A man of a face. She puts Velvet, Mickie James, Brooke and Tara into a four way. Why does Brooke look older than these girls when she’s probably the youngest? Brooke mentions that she’s getting them media opperunities. If that’s true, cool. Montgumery Gentry wants Velvet for a music video. Mickie James subtly looks pissed.

HOGAN ANNOUCEMENTS (meh build to the PPV)
Hogan comes out and announces the ten year anniversary party starts tonight end ends next week with the TNA champion having a title match next week on Impact. Then Robert Roode comes out, starts talking, gets interrupted, but Robert Roode is never done talking. It was a good verbal assault… if they’re planning Hogan vs Roode. He puts his hands on Hogan. Sting appears. Roode beats down Sting who just gets back up. Sting sells nothing. Then Robert Roode gets sent out of the ring.

Robert Roode wears a new IT Factor T-shirt that looks terrible and generic. They really could have had some more IT Factor in the IT Factor T-shirt. In other words, that’s not a shirt I’d buy or anyone else.

JOSEPH PARK BACKSTAGE
He can’t believe what he’s doing. Good character. To brief to be great, but this was good for the 30 seconds it was.

#1 CONTENDER >> MICKIE JAMES vs VELVET SKYE vs BROOKE TESSMOCHER vs TARA (seen these women in this match combination too many times)
Brooke Tessmocher is from Houston, TX and the PPV is in TX. Give her the knockout victory in her home state. All faces… except for Mickie who is about to turn. Gail appears soon after the match starts. Gail on commentary says she’s beaten all four. Gail Kim is the longest running Knockouts champ. Along with every other major title holder. Thank goth Gail is on commentary, because this match is so dull and burnt out that I forget there’s a match going on. There is a good spot where all 4 women are involved in submissions. I remember when WWE did similar things 10 years ago. Tara does a top rope moonsault instead of a standing one. Very impressive and graceful, unlike Lita’s.

Eventually former tag partners Brooke & Tara fight. The work starts getting sloppy toward the end. Like someone will get hurt kind of sloppy.

BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE (voice is out of sync?)
Strange the voice is out of sync. He’s got a contract for Joseph Park.

HOGAN BACKSTAGE ON THE PHONE
You get here AJ! Grrr…

BULLY RAY & JOSEPH PARK CONTRACT SIGNING w/ JEREMY BORASH (interesting and entertaining)
This has been a good 3+ month storyline. It would be a good one off match and they might want to do this with non wrestlers. Have them appear 3 months and do one match before disappearing. Do that 4x a year with various people and you can really keep them fresh. Like Robert Roode vs his old friend in spring, Bully vs Joseph in summer, AJ vs Serge in fall, ODB vs the Wedding Planner in winter. Very easy to do.

Bully has a good shirt. Some sort of parody on the Jack Daniels bottle. Joseph Park comes out with no music, but he is not a wrestler. He’s good at not knowing how to get in the ring. He’s good at being clueless. The fans want tables. Bully starts by tearing up the contract. Bully Ray pulls his special contract out that protects him from liability. Joseph Park isn’t crazy enough to do that. The fans cheer him surprisingly. Abyss should come out and sign it then… but that’s not the match. Bully Ray spits in his face. Joseph cuts a promo about his brother who spilt his blood and gave his body. He’ll sign for his brother Chris. If this means Abyss has retired and Joseph needs to wrestle now.

Abyss appears on the big screen. He’s not happy with Joseph. Abyss does some good work, even gets a shock from the crowd. Gold… for such a weird plotline. Bully Ray attacks Joseph. Great segment.

MIKE TENNAY asks TAZZ about JOEY RYAN
People are buzzing about it. Mike asks Tazz if he has any second thoughts. Tazz loves Joey’s character. Hanging out on Twitter and Youtube doesn’t make you better it makes you popular.

BACKSTAGE PROMO with JOEY RYAN (interesting)
Last week Joey was backstage cutting a promo on Tazz so Al Snow swoops in and tells Joey to check himself. Joey doesn’t, so Al Snow escorts him out. I’m sure that wasn’t Joey Ryan’s character that was just him venting. TNA was and wasn’t stupid not to take him. They were stupid, because the fans wanted it and he’s a ten year vet with talent and a great character that would be awesome in TNA. The good reason they didn’t take him is apparently he’s a jerk.

TV TITLE >> DEVON vs ROBBIE E (adding interest with more players)
The feud that will not die. Backstage before the match, Garrett says he’ll have Devon’s back if Devon will let him. Yep. Brief they’re really trying to put over Garrett. They’ll tag up at the PPV. This is the same match that its been for the last 3 months. It hasn’t gotten better or worse. Luckily Maddisson Rayne shows up to look on, making this match watchable. Logically I’d give Decon a clean win, then give Robbie & Rob Terry a cheat victory at the PPV when Maddisson Rayne helps them. Why have Cookie with Robbie E when you can have Rayne. Hilarious spot where there’s a small package and the giant Rob Terry sneaks into the ring and rolls them over so Devon is getting pinned.

HULK HOGAN ANNOUCEMENT (again)
He was getting ready to make a monster annoucement before he got interrupted… so Hogan gets interrupted again by Mr. Anderson. Why not have a match at the PPV. Ken Anderson vs Jeff Hardy. Again! The same match its been even back in the WWE for years and years! He introduces himself before he comes down. Uggg… Why is this guy back. There’s no room for him. Put him on Xplosion. I can tell Hogan really doesn’t want to hear from him. Hogan invites RVD to come down. So why not have a 3 way? They’re forgetting about Jeff Hardy… so far. And yep, Jeff Hardy is called down. I’d have these three guys go over in 3 singles matches, then have a 3 way at the PPV with the winner getting a title shot on Impact. He announces a three way at Slammiversary. Yep. I predict Jeff Hardy to win. Peel RVD off into a feud with Aries and Kennedy can go after Crimson.

SIX MAN TAG >> ROODE & KAZ & DANIELS vs STING & KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES
AJ left earlier… and he stayed gone, which is great. 2 on 3 match. I’d rather see 2 on 3 than waste 2 PPV matches in one. Sting comes out with some weird purple jacket. Sting now wears black with blue ring attire. He quickly puts the scorpion death lock on Daniels. A terrible death lock and Angle puts the ankle lock on KAZ. Bam that should have been the match. Victory to the faces, but then the heels should get on the mic and demand it get restarted and it would be.

I remember when Daniels had a feud with Sting. I’m not sure if they actually had a match or not. That was a few years ago. Pretty quick match, but there was a lot of energy.

PROS

  • The interest of Austin Aries vs Crimson
  • Brooke Hogan and Velvet’s announcement of being in a music video (I’m surprised its a pro)
  • Joseph Park & Bully Ray
  • Using Joey Ryan without giving him a contract

CONS

  • Crowd killing opening angle
  • Someone specific losing
  • Roode & Sting with Hogan did nothing to make me want to see them.
  • I’ve seen the same knockout’s match in tag or three way form for a year or two
  • Didn’t make me want to see Slamiversary

Everything Right with TNA Impact (05/31/12)

LUMBERJACK MATCH >> ROBERT ROODE vs STING (Great opener… that should have closed the show)
TNA likes you to know who’s on the roster, so they have episodes start with everyone on the roster. Bobby Roode gets a ‘you suck chant’. Last week I would have had his confetti rain Sting Joker cards. I can’t see this match drawing in fans. There aren’t a lot of lumberjacks around the ring. There is really zero build to this match which seems a negative.

Commentators point out Roode injured Sting… coulda swore Sting injured himself. TNA uses Twitter and Facebook visuals. Rowdy crowd in a good way. Throughout the match Roode throws out Sting a notable amount. Good strategy.

POST MATCH with HOGAN
Hogan comes out and announces Sting vs Roode at the next PPV. And the world title will now be on the line. … Tennay and Tazz announce Styles vs Daniels and fans pick Devon’s challenger. ooo and Brooke Hogan.

MADISSON RAYNE BACKSTAGE
She’s ironing her sash… she says everything will go well with Brooke Hogan.

BULLY RAY CALLS OUT JOSEPH PARK (gold)
These two are gold. Bully shows a replay of what he did to Joseph Park. Bully wants a fight right now. Joseph looks around who me? Gives the fans his stuff. The fans love it. This is a hot, energized crowd. Joseph doesn’t want to fight, so Bully calls the whole family cowards especially Abyss. Joseph jumps over and security stops him. Bully Ray has great heat. Fans are chanting fight! Joseph doesn’t want  any part of Bully Ray, so Bully says he pleads guilty! Joseph grabs him and the fans love it. Bully says if you hit me I’ll sue you. Fans chant what they want. Joseph backs off. He has class. Bully leaves, Joseph says he wants a fight right now. Bully says they’ll finally fight at Slammiversary.

CRIMSON VIDEO (good lil recap)
This was a nice video recapping his winning streak… even though he has been pinned in tag matches. Crimson then says he can’t be beat.

X-DIVISION TITLE >> AUSTIN ARIES vs CHRIS SABIN (putting over a star)
Supposedly Alex Shelley is gone from TNA so this makes sense. Austin Aries is backstage spraying his hair and he sprays Joe who is walking behind him.  This should be the best match on the show… and this is a show with Daniels and AJ. Dueling chants which is good…  Some amazing and unique moves from Aries who is the hottest thing on TNA. This match was all about Sabin taking abuse and making Aries look like gold. Some incredible offense from Sabin as well. Quite the back and forth. Tazz had no idea what Sabin’s finisher is… in fact the crowd probably didn’t know either since he’s been gone

HOGAN BACKSTAGE with TAZZ
Hogan talks about stepping up or leaving. Hogan wants Tazz for Gut Check. Tazz warns him that the real Tazz is a jerk. Tazz would be good at evaluating talent since he has run dojos and finishing schools.

BACKSTAGE with TAZZ, BRUCE PRICHARD & AL SNOW talking about JOEY RYAN
They discuss his look and his gimmick. Bruce doesn’t like his gimmick, the other two love it. I love his look. Bruce points out fans thought he was better Alex Sylvia. Indeed. Absolutely. Tazz points out that Joey Ryan didn’t look like he was gonna be in the fight of his life. Meh bad comment. He didn’t blow away Bruce even if Joey was memorable. Tazz looks like he’ll say no. Tazz doesn’t look good on a couch, he should sit forward to make him look less fat.

TV TITLE CONTENDERS (brief)
Jeff Hardy, RVD, Ken Anderson & Robbie E. 3 of these guys are too good for the belt. Jeff Hardy gets the biggest pop. This was a nice lil popularity contest.

DIXIE APPEARS (to introduce Brooke)
She says TNA will be 10 years old in 10 days. She also announces Slammiversary will have a TNA Hall of Fame induction. She then introduces Brooke Hogan who gets plenty of boos… and then cheers. She comes out to a country song. I like how Dixie has to introduce Brooke so the fans respect Dixie so they won’t boo Brooke as much.

DANIELS & KAZ BACKSTAGE
They’re miffed at Dixie not aknowledging their angle.

TV TITLE MATCH >> DEVON DUDLEY vs ???
The man that won did it with 40% of the vote. Tennay presses Tazz for his vote on Joey Ryan. Tazz doesn’t know. This match seems to be used to plug everything else going on in TNA. Dueling chants from the crowd. The crowd is still hot, but this is the coldest of the hot. Match ends like you’d expect it to. Robbie E and Rob Terry do a run in. If this will be a match at the PPV, it will be better than Devon and Garrett.

JAMES STORM VIDEO (with his daughter, horse and smell hound)
James talks about how he’s simple. Simple man wouldn’t wear those designer jeans with the holes intentionally put in. Yep looks like James is fine walking away. Must suck having cameras ask him about Roode every so often. Storm’s daughter asks if that means he’s going back to wrestling. James cuts off the cameras.

DANIELS & AJ RECAP
Ugg this feud… Capped off with the monthly Daniels vs AJ match.

GUT CHECK JUDGING with AL SNOW, TAZZ & BRUCE PRICHARD on JOEY RYAN
I still say give Joey Ryan a contract, but whatever. Joey comes out to serious music without a serious look. This music kinda makes him seem like an out of place chump. 4 men in suits standing in front of a 70s playboy pilot. He does his best Ron Burgondy  impression. Bruce even mentions Ron Burgondy. Bruce points out with Joey having 12 years in the business the verdict is no. Crimson and Gunner have 12 years. But TNA already has Aries and Aries is more serious. Al Snow doesn’t like Joey Ryan… but votes yes. Makes no sense, but whatever.

Joey cuts a good promo about how he has 87% of the fan’s vote he questions Bruce having a job. Tazz says no, because that promo sucked. Tazz isn’t a suplex machine, he’s a commentator. 2 nos. It actually seemed like 3 nos. Maybe Joey is a dick.

ROBERT ROODE VIDEO IN LONDON
He did an interview this week. Yay. Interesting outdoor backdrop of Big Ben. He’s standing at the base of Big Ben. Roode says he’s the longest running TNA champion and the fans off screen cheer him.

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs AJ STYLES
Wow a main event that promises more revealed. Time for the monthly Daniels and Styles match. I couldn’t care less. Tazz feels he has to justify himself about Joey. Tazz’s reasons don’t make sense that the character doesn’t have legs. Sure it does, he can get serious, but I guess TNA wanted him to get Aries serious and not just a stereotype.

Good match. Hot crowd. This was the match of the show. Good main event. KAZ looks a lot like Crimson now from a distance. It was very dumb of him to shave his head even if he was losing his hair. Post match beatdown. Kurt Angle saves AJ. Daniels and KAZ get their head back and use zip ties to trap Angle. The zip ties fail miserably.

Daniels has a phone conversation with Dixie. Dixie comes out and yells to turn it off! Dixie gets bleeped out.

PROS:
A hot and energized crowd
TNA is live
Arena seems bigger… maybe they are on the road?
Great opener
Bully Ray & Joseph Park
Sabin vs Aries
Putting heat on the TV title with the vote
TNA firing on all cylenders.

CONS:
Little build to Sting vs Roode
Mind numbing birth control commercials on DailyMotion

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should have been) (in my mind) (05/10/12)

BOBBY ROODE PROMO (and telegraphing the victory at the PPV)
I’m sick of Roode starting the show. He deserves to be on every show, but not starting the show. If I didn’t write this, I’d change the channel and forget about TNA. Roode doesn’t interest me at all. His gimmick and cheat to win attitude really reminds me of the fact that his character is hollow and he’s been given the default heel character.

He does say something interesting. In 2 weeks he’ll be the longest TNA champion. Cool.

RVD appears and beats up Roode who wins thenAndersonappears and beats him too. Then Jeff Hardy appears to beat him down. 3 faces on 1 heel. How does this make sense? Whatever. A better idea would be to have 3 heels on one face RVD and then RVD beats up 2 of them and Roode runs.

Hogan appears. He says there will be a four corners as the main event with a lot of stips. The face winner gets Roode, but if Roode wins he picks his opponent. If RVD wins he picks a stipulation for the PPV. This is a terrible and telegraphing idea… RVD wins and picks hardcore or some sort of match. RVD gets his win, Roode gets his win.

BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE (too brief to be good)
He cuts a promo on Austin Aries. This was brief. Bully is sick ofAustin bullying him. Bully is going to stand up to Aries.

SPRING CLEANING SALE (still sells merchandise)
Good commercial. I’m glad TNA doesn’t have Knockout merchandise. 

GAIL KIM & RAYNE BACKSTAGE (kept brief)
Gail is concerned with Brooke… Rayne says there’s a guy she’s into.

VELVET SKYE vs BROOKE TESSMOCHER (a building block for Gail vs Brooke)
This match makes sense since they teamed last week and Velvet got the last Knockout title shot. I think there’s a lot more future money in Brooke than Velvet. Brooke has 3 victories over Gail so Gail will win at the PPV. Crowd firmly behind Velvet leading me to believe she should be the one getting the title shot. I hear a Tessmocher chant at the end… but no one is chanting when I look at the crowd. Gail runs in after the match.

BULLY RAY ATTACKS MATT MORGAN (bully ray gets heat)
I think there’s a lot of money in making Crimson MMA and punches instead of cravats. Before the match starts Bully Ray attacks Matt Morgan? What? He’s making an example out of Matt Morgan. At least this means no Morgan vs Crimson. He gets good crowd heat. The commentators failed to make me care about Matt Morgan.

CRIMSON PROMO on MATT MORGAN (a glimmer of shine)
I’d rather see an arrogant or cocky Crimson. Says no one can beat him, this would have been the perfect entrance for Alex Sylvia. Instead Crimson wants a match with Matt and wants the referee to count Matt Morgan out. Yep counted out. 

RVD VIDEO
This was a character piece on RVD about how he wanted out of his little town and the cereal plant. It failed to make me root for RVD. 

X-DIVISION TITLE >> AUSTIN ARIES vs ZIMA ION
This is the first X-Division match in a month if not longer. This should be a pure squash and make Aries look great. Good amount of chants including TNA! TNA! Chants. Hot match, good energy, plenty of high flying. Chants for ‘this is wrestling.’ Funny I didn’t know wrestling was flips. The fans were emphatically behind Aries. He looks very strong.

KAZ & DANIELS BACKSTAGE (lame tease)
Wow this is still a terrible angle. KAZ has second thoughts. Daniels mutters something about his girlfriend. Daniels says AJ has been on top far too long. He hasn’t been on top for a while, at least a year. If there’s a picture I want it to be of AJ & Dixie & Traci in a hottub. 

DANIELS & KAZ & AJ ANGLE (the photo revealed)
KAZ & Daniels wait in the ring for AJ, because they’re chumps and TNA made them into chumps. AJ comes out… Daniels has a picture of AJ & Dixie… just a handshake photo. Then a second photo of AJ touching AJ’s face. Then in the third photo it looks like he’s kissing her. Kissing her as a greeting. Fans don’t care, they strongly chant AJ.

TV TITLE >>DEVON vs ROBBIE E (quick and painless)
Robbie E & Rob Terry come out in awesome sweaters. They actually plug Robbie E’s blog. Quick match. Didn’t need to be very long. Rob Terry does a beatdown after the match. I’d sayDevonvs both Terry & Robbie. 

JAMES STORM VIDEO
James plugs if it were a movie he wouldn’t have wanted it to end with the bad guy winning. Roode is back at his ranch / farm. I think this does a lot more for Storm than RVD’s video. James questions himself, and that puts heat on his loss. After the match its onto the next thing. 

JOSEPH PARK BACKSTAGE
And headed to the ring. Awesome. I’m actually excited after 2 months of him going no where. 

DEVONBACKSTAGE (quick challenge)
He challenges both Robbie E & Rob Terry. Bam!

JOSEPH PARK VIDEO
Chicago lawyer Joseph Park investigates his brother Abyss. Good little video for the whole 5 minutes he’s been on camera.

JOSEPH PARK & BULLY RAY ANGLE (this was great)
Joseph gets into the ring. Good acting of being clueless. The fans chant where’s Abyss. It was pretty heatless at first, but the fans get into it. This puts heat on Bully Ray. Joseph says he’s gonna watch from the crowd. Bully Ray appears and menaces him. Then Joseph has awesome questions for Bully before he gets shoved down. Joseph cowers before he sits and giggles like Abyss. 

RECAP >> HOGAN ARRIVES & WOLFPACK RETURNS
Hogan returns, Wolfpack returns and Hogan throws them out. Yawn. 

FOUR CORNERS >> HARDY vs RVD vs ROODE vs ANDERSON(all goes as planned)
Personally, Roode shouldn’t be in this match, it should be Angle or AJ or someone deserving. But TNA wants to give RVD a win over Roode. Crowd was rowdy and that’s a good thing. RVD wins. We will see a ladder match. Good idea for the PPV.

ABYSS APPEARS (wtf?)
Abyss appears to end the show with a message to his little brother Joseph. Wtf? … Lockdown’s main event isn’t the main angle. Great way to end Impact even if your PPV will suffer because of it.

Mailbag April 2012

Shockingly, I get a lot of emailed questions about pro wrestling. Here are some questions that actually need answering.

WILL THE WWE HAVE A DEVELOPMENTAL TERRITORY IN EUROPE?
No, but it should, because the European style is nice for the WWE to have. Finley, William Regal and Wade Barrett are all fine examples of why WWE needs a European territory or at least a UK territory. It would be more cost efficient to workers wanting to get their foot in the door. WWE really needs to throw out a line to other English speaking countries like England and Canada.

WHY DOESN’T CM PUNK LOSE MATCHES?
He’s a guy that the WWE doesn’t want to turn into a chump. He has lost plenty of times in recent months… just like everyone else. They have done a lot of cheap and non finishes with him and Daniel Bryan and Mark Henry though.

WHY DOES AJ STYLEZ WEAR GLOVES?
I have no idea. I will guess it is because he does springboard stuff with the ropes and he probably doesn’t want to slip from the oil and sweat that collects on the ropes after guys are out there. AJ also has the best planned slip up we’ve ever seen.

IS STING BORED IN TNA?
You tell me, he goes out and becomes the main focus of television even if he’s not in the ring. Sting is in the twilight of his career and he probably had more fun in WCW, but working for TNA pays the bills and he probably has to work limited dates like 20 a year. So money > boredom.

WHY IS GARRETT BISCHOFF PUSHED IN TNA?
TNA is given a great genetic story. Eric Bischoff and his son Garrett. This guy will always be in wrestling, he’s the son of the legendary Eric Bischoff. At least Garrett looks closer to a wrestler than Shane McMahon. I’m no fan of Garrett, but there is a story there to be told. I just wish that TNA could tell it better. Maybe have Garrett as a heel goon of his father until the fans want to see him rise against his dad. I also reccommend Garrett to go off and wrestle for OVW, get some experience then come back and blow us all away.

ARE THERE BACKSTAGE PROBLEMS AT TNA?
I sure hope so. Guys like AJ Stylez should be main eventing and he gets oppressed with stupid storylines only to put over Roode and Storm. TNA just had a shakeup creatively that seems to be good 70% of the time. Hogan is back, because TNA fears their slipping ratings. TNA shouldn’t fear slipping ratings instead build things that people want to see. Like Hogan will not save the company. No one will save the company so much as getting the ball rolling and gaining momentum where word spreads about how good it is getting instead of how meh it is and will always be. There are also tons of other minor issues.

WHERE IS TNA GOING WITH JOSEPH PARK?
Funny thing is, I think he’ll go on to take on Immortal and Bully Ray. Sure Immortal doesn’t really exist anymore and it seems to consist only of Gunner, Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair. How about a promo between Flair and Joseph Park. Maybe the story will be that Immortal kicked Abyss’s ass so bad that he became his own brother. I do know one thing…. WWE missed the boat when Kane disappeared. … have you seen my brother Glenn?

WHY DOES TNA HAVE SUCH A WEAK ROSTER?
Funny… I wouldn’t consider it weak such as a big dog that’s kept inside in a basement that you see out when it needs to take a … something. TNA needs to let its roster off the chain again and let them wrestle at least on pay-per-views. TNA has meaningless pay-per-views, but if they let their talent wrestle longer and better matches, that will make it worth the price to those who buy them.

WHAT ARE YOUR IDEAS FOR THE WWE DIVA’S TITLE?
Uh really it is a cheerleader halftime show that just happens to have a champion. They don’t really need female wrestlers. Beth is fine with the title, I’m sure the WWE is building to a Kharma vs Beth match one Kharma returns. She might never return. Kelly Kelly actually made for a better champion, just because she was on every show even if she can’t wrestle like Beth or Natalya or Melina for that matter. WWE doesn’t need to put any heat on that belt… even if the fans say they do.

WHO WAS ERIC YOUNG & ODB’S WEDDING PLANNER?
I get asked this a lot. No clue, but she’s probably a local model. Maybe she’s married to one of the guys.

IS TEDDY HART INSANE?
He sure comes off that way yes. He just thinks very outside the box. He comes off gay in other interviews, but hey that’s just the sound of it. He had a HBO interviewer stay with him one night. He said it himself.

WHEN DO YOU THINK WE WILL SEE ROBERT ROODE vs DIXIE CARTER?
I like how fans still call him Robert Roode. Oh we’ll never see it, but I swear they’re building to it.

WHAT ARE YOUR IDEAS FOR SOME UNIQUE MATCH STIPULATIONS?
I’m not sure. I think everything has been done. How about a cage match with a scaffold ontop of it with a ladder ontop of that?

WHY DOES KANE HAVE HIS MASK BACK?
That was never explained and probably will never be explained. WWE just wanted to freshen him up by taking him back to the mask days. Personally…. I would have explained it that the wrestler HHH took the mask off…. but the wrestler HHH is dead and gone, there’s just some stuffed suit in his place and he challenges anyone else to take off his mask.

WHO IS THE FAT MINI WRESTLER ON HULK HOGAN’S MICRO CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING?
Meatball. Seems like a good worker too.

WHERE CAN I FIND VELVET SKYE’S BLOG
No idea. She’s probably on Twitter.