Tag Archives: Bully Ray

TNA Slammiversary 2014 Predictions, Hopes and Booking

There are 9+ matches and segments on this card and a Hall of Fame induction segment with Kurt Angle. I remember when WWE wouldn’t ever have more than 7 on a pay-per-view.

THE VON ERICHS (MARSHALL & ROSS) vs TBA
I have a feeling the TBA will be Bro Mans and DJ Zima Ion. If not them, then Spud. This will be a feel good moment hopefully later in the event o lift up the crowd. Robbie E and Jesse do the job, all Texans go home happy.  Maybe Lacey Von Erich will be out there too as a face valet. She could then join the Knockout division and have some fresh matches. This would also give the Bro Mans a spot on the card, when clearly all signs point to a six man tag between the Bro Mans and the Menagerie. But I guess the Menagerie can’t do a six man, when one of their guys is in the six way for the X-Division title.

KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, ANGELINA LOVE w/ VELVET SKYE vs GAIL KIM
Gail Kim has always been the #1 contender. Angelina Love has been ducking her since winning the title. This is about as deep as the Knockouts division goes. These four women. Angelina Loves should keep this title for the specific fact that she should never hold this title again. Gail Kim winning the title wouldn’t suddenly open up new matches to the Knockouts Division. This is it. These four women. They need to open up the division to one shot appearances from women outside the company for one match or so. Maybe with the Von Erichs appearing, they’ll bring back Lacey Von Erich to screw over Gail Kim and open up some fresh matches. Lacey was a member of the beautiful people at some point, but she’s currently doing erotic point of view wrestling.

They could also have Lacey cost Angelina the title, so Lacey can be a face valet with the Von Erichs and be her own person in the knockout division.

MR. ANDERSON vs JAMES STORM
If there’s one match on this card that I couldn’t care less about, its this one. Please let them open the show with this. After watching TNA all month or so, I can’t tell who’s the heel and the face. James Storm really comes off as a face, while Ken Anderson seems to be the bad comedy heel people want to see beat. Much like Rockstar Spud ‘s role in the Bully Ray feud. Mr. Anderson should win, keep the crowd happy, someone famous that they know. So he can get fed to MVP. Heck, if TNA cuts the match, I’d be okay with it, but I guess a promise is a promise. Have it.

WILLOW w/ ABYSS vs MAGNUS w/ BRAM
On Impact, the guys had a face to face. Willow kept saying WE, he and Jeff Hardy will take out Bram and Magnus, so Abyss comes out as back up. Personally I would have rather seen someone with Jeff Hardy’s size wear a Willow mask at the PPV to wrestle Magnus, then have the real Jeff Hardy run out to blow people’s minds. As for who wins this match? It’ll end in a DQ. Abyss just came back, Bram is new and Magnus now likes to hit people with objects, because getting you disqualified somehow moves you up the ladder? Good logic buddy.

X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP 6 WAY LADDER MATCH: Champion, SANADA vs TIGRE UNO vs CRAZZY STEVE vs EDDIE EDWARDS vs DAVEY RICHARDS vs MANIK
This is my most anticipated match, even though there’s zero build for it on Impact. It was just thrown together. For the past 2 years, TNA has used its X-Division title as an Option C, a guaranteed, TNA title match at the expense of giving up the X-Division title. Much like a Money in the Bank briefcase in the WWE. The TNA title match would happen at the Destination X event on Spike TV.

If Eddie or Davey win, I think that telegraphs MVP winning the title, assuming he’s not too injured to win the title. I really hope Sanada wins. He’s the guy not caught up in backstage shit and hasn’t been beat down by MVP’s group. He can be a fresh story and offer a straight up wrestling match for the title. Samoa Joe, Austin Aries and Bully Ray can fend off MVP and Ethan Carter so Sanada can get a clean match out of MVP or Eric Young at the Destination X event. It would mean so much more to have a clean wrestling match, because that never happens anymore.

Once the title is given up, there should be a tournament for the vacated championship building to Destination X.

I just really hope that Crazzy Steve doesn’t have his music blasting all match long. TNA has a real chance to turn this match into something special like Money in the Bank instead of a forgettable spot fest. They could even use the Menagerie stilt walkers to aid Crazzy Steve.

AUSTIN ARIES vs KENNY KING
Why aren’t these two in the X-Division championship match? Two former X-Division champions and all. Well they’ve got a going feud, so why not have this match? It should be a good match, but the trick is to make it a memorable match. Let Austin Aries win to feed him to MVP. Heck Aries could win this match and still face off against the X-Division champion before Destination X.

SAMOA JOE vs BOBBY LASHLEY
Even though there is no heat to this match, I’m looking forward to two bulls fighting. I would say Joe should win, since he just came back and they can feed Joe to MVP, but Bobby Lashley has 2 victories over the TNA champion, Eric Young. Bobby Lashley should win. I think this match could be memorable if its stiff and technical. Two big dudes that can suplex one another.

TNA HALL OF FAME INDUCTION WITH HOST KURT ANGLE
Wow, there are 9+ matches on this pay-per-view and they need a hall of fame induction too? Well it is Slammiversary, so why not? They have Kurt and Sting in the hall of fame, and I see this hall of fame more as an everyone not in the WWE hall of fame. So why not Dixie Carter? She can come down to the ring, accept the award and she should be in the Hall of Fame. TNA has been building to putting Dixie Carter through a table for the past few months, maybe since their last pay-per-view. Bully Ray could then appear to put her through a table, but then Ethan Carter can run out and they can have their match right then and there. That’s what ECW would have done.

TEXAS DEATH MATCH: BULLY RAY vs ETHAN CARTER III W/ SPUD
It was built up as a table match originally, but since Slammiversary is in Texas, why not have a Texas Death Match? I hope they’ll actually keep the 10 count after a pinfall like the true version. Otherwise, its just a last man standing match. The real issue here is putting Dixie Carter through the table. I would say Dixie will get put through a table at a TV taping at the old ECW arena, the Manhattan center, but Spike TV doesn’t allow violence against women. Bully Ray even came out this week on Impact and saved Brooke Tessmacher, showing to the crowd he’s not anti woman, he’s anti Dixie. Bully Ray needs to put Dixie through a table on pay-per-view. First because Spike TV won’t let them, and second, because people are paying for Slammiversary.

TNA CHAMPIONSHIP STEEL CAGE MATCH: Champion, ERIC YOUNG vs MVP
The big question going into this match is will MVP be able to compete. MVP cannot compete, I updated after this match. Supposedly he injured himself on a non TNA show. If MVP can’t make it, Lashley needs to take his place. Bobby Lashley now has 2 wins over Eric Young, that puts Lashley right there with Eric Young. Heck, MVP has lost two matches to Eric Young.

TNA must not like money, because they just had their Champion, Eric Young against the challenger MVP on free television three days from their match on PPV. Perhaps their logic is people will pay for the cage match. No. Who cares? I just saw Eric Young win and beat the challenger MVP after taking out two other men. Plus, even with a rested Eric Young against MVP, I can’t imagine them having a better match even with a cage! I remember when WCW would give away their PPV main events free on Nitro. MVP should have come out and told Eric Young, I’m not the last guy, we agreed to two out of three wins. I didn’t say I’d be guy #3. I am not a number, I am the guy you’ll face at Slammiversary. Why would MVP ever agree to this? Even with a logical cage match to keep out Kenny King and Bobby Lashley, the challenger, MVP has a history of buying off and bullying referees into winning matches. The deck is stacked against Eric Young. Better put a top on that cage! MVP will win, but I’ve bet against Eric Young before and been wrong…. Personally, I’d keep the title on Eric Young, because MVP still has power to make matches yet he doesn’t ever make wise matches, but on the other hand if MVP doesn’t win the title, that’s sort of a road block for his faction.

*** UPDATE *** TNA CHAMPIONSHIP STEEL CAGE THREE WAY MATCH: Champion, ERIC YOUNG vs TBA vs TBA
So apparently MVP is really injured and can’t make the show. So TNA has announced the winners of Austin Aries vs Kenny King and Samoa Joe vs Bobby Lashley would be entered in the match. I predict Lashley and King to be inserted into the match, when really it should just be Bobby Lashley, who has 2 wins over the champion, Eric Young. However, having the two qualifying matches gives them weight and a reason to care about them. Anyway, while I predict Lashley and King to win their matches, for the sake of a good match, I hope that its Aries and Samoa Joe in the cage, but the fans wouldn’t know who to cheer for. Eric Young should walk out with the TNA title.

There you have it, all of my predictions, hopes, dreams and musings.

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Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (6/12/14)

PROS

ERIC YOUNG’S IMPACT STORYLINE
Eric Young started the show by wanting a solo match against MVP with no interference from Bobby Lashley and Kenny King. Its a noble request, but really why should MVP who has power to agree to such things? So they agreed to have Eric Young to chose a stipulation for his title match at the Slammiversary PPV if he wins 2 out of 3 matches against Lashley, Kenny King and MVP. First up was Bobby Lashley now has two wins over TNA champion, Eric Young. It was a good match, they told a back story. The back as in body part. Its pretty rare now that wrestling works on a body part. It made sense to have the biggest guy first to injure a smaller Eric Young before he’d face the smaller Kenny King.

Eric Young wanting a cage match wants sense, heck he might want a top put on that cage too! Beating down Eric before the third match was nice too. It was also a good way to win the final match…. but you’ll read more in the cons section.

OVER ETHAN CARTER’S DEAD BODY
While the segment started out awful, Bully Ray saved the day! I liked this segment not only because he came off like a real star with the fans chanting his every word ‘over your dead body,’ he came out and showed its not women he hates. Its just Dixie Carter he hates. He came out and saved Brooke Tessmacher, even when we last saw her and Bully, he threatened to put her through a table. The glass is half full on this segment, while I could nitpick Ethan and Spud using awful comedy to get heat after following Robbie E’s comedy match, I see this as a plus, not a minus. Plus, its no longer a table match, its a Texas Death Match at this Sunday’s PPV.

CONS

CHAMPION vs CHALLENGER before the PPV
TNA must not like money, because they just had their Champion, Eric Young against the challenger MVP on free television three days from their match on PPV. Perhaps their logic is people will pay for the cage match. No. Who cares? I just saw Eric Young win and beat the challenger MVP after taking out two other men. Plus, even with a rested Eric Young against MVP, I can’t imagine them having a better match even with a cage! I remember when WCW would give away their PPV main events free on Nitro. MVP should have come out and told Eric Young, I’m not the last guy, we agreed to two out of three wins. I didn’t say I’d be guy #3. I am not a number, I am the guy you’ll face at Slammiversary. Why would MVP ever agree to this? Even if Eric Young goes over three guys… why even let Eric pick the stipulation? Because you said you would let him if he won? Well you also promised a contract vs contract match last week and that never delivered!

Even if Eric Young gets a cage match, which makes sense, MVP has a history of buying off and bullying referees into winning matches. The deck is stacked against Eric Young. Having Eric Young talk after such a brutal beating instead of being saved by the face locker room felt silly. MVP’s group beat down Eric, then they just left. Why? Because. No one chased them off. Eric Young’s beating was so meh he still spoke afterward to tell them the stipulation.

WILLOW, BRAM & MAGNUS SEGMENT
Does anyone remember when Magnus won the TNA title, he said TNA gave him goofy gimmicks. Now that Magnus is eviler than his bad guy persona, he said he’s happy to be out of that suit TNA gave him. Wow fella. Willow says WE, he and Jeff Hardy will take out Bram and Magnus, so Abyss comes out as back up. Personally I would have rather seen someone with Jeff Hardy’s size wear a Willow mask at the PPV to wrestle Magnus, then have the real Jeff Hardy run out to blow people’s minds. The funny thing in all of this is Abyss should have been the guy to make Magnus use weapons. Well the whole thing is stupid, a bad guy that said he’d do anything to win the TNA title needs to be told to use weapons? That’s more of a heel trying to turn a face heel.

ROBBIE E w/ JESSE & DJ ZIMA ION vs KNUX w/ the Menagerie
Wow the music and carnival just didn’t stop. The music and lights went through the whole match. Once is enough. This is a wrestling company, but I guess not having the music would make the stilt walkers feel out of place. This should be a good six man tag at some point for Robbie E to conquer his fears. Crazzy Steve sure interfered a lot and the referee was cool with it. Again, this is a wrestling company. Comedy has its place, but this is just a mockery of wrestling. It is awful and so limited. Everyone associated with this group or faces this group will just end up in the trash can. Also, how long before Willow is wrestling in the Menagerie. I can’t believe they’re not having a six man tag team match at the PPV, but whatever, Crazzy Steve has a title shot already. I guess he did go over KAZ a few weeks ago.

#1 KNOCKOUT CONTENDER’S MATCH: MADISON RAYNE vs BRITTANY vs GAIL KIM
Not sure how it makes sense to have this match when Rayne just lost to the Knockout Champion Angelina Love last week and Brittany lost to Angelina Love maybe a month ago. They are not in contention for the #1 contendership. If anything, they should say they just need one more shot to beat the champ. Nope. They get thrown into a three way. If anything, Velvet Skye should have faced Gail Kim as a guardian, because Gail Kim is the #1 contender, the woman that Angelina Love hasn’t beaten in a title defense this month. I guess since MVP already had a gatekeeper / guardian storyline, they couldn’t do that. Oh well. Who cares?

TNA mis-booking: Contract vs Contract with no winner or loser

TNA Impact is sliding down the tubes. Crazy new gimmicks, and a guy in charge that books himself in fair fights. TNA Impact last week featured a contract vs contract match between Samoa Joe vs Austin Aries. Basically, a loser leaves town match. Well after five or so minutes in the ring, there was no finish and it was turned into a tag match. They spent the whole show building to this match and even though it wasn’t more than a week of build, it was still a week of build to a promise that meant nothing. MVP even wanted a clean finish with no double pins, double count outs and so on. Why wouldn’t he just want them both out of a contract? Because there’s one spot in TNA? MVP is now a slap dash heel running the show and doesn’t want any faces on the show even if both men act like heels?

Well low and behold, during the match that held 2 men’s careers on the line, there was no finish though. Bully Ray punched out the referee and instead of sending out another referee and throwing out Bully Ray and anyone else that might interfere, it was turned into an 8 man first blood tag team match for that night, instead of the following week. Heck they could have had that match off air for the fans in attendance. The wrestlers could have come out and told the fans, we’re not waiting til next week, we’re having it right now.

As for TNA not giving a result to a loser leaves town match, did TNA feel people would be happy two faces (that act like heels) kept their job? Did they think oh since there wasn’t more than a two hour build, the fans won’t care? Something was promised and it wasn’t delivered, much like the TNA Slammiversary pay-per-view between MVP and Eric Young now that MVP is injured. I’d say Lashley should be the #1 contender, because he has a singles win over Eric Young, even if there was plenty of interference.

On top of that, Samoa Joe just returned and his return match should have been on the pay-per-view. People haven’t seen him wrestle lately and he’s a guy that fans would pay to see wrestle because of his intensity and size.

MVP also forced tag team champions Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards to square off. Its silly having two tag team champions compete against one another with no real threat other than they’ll be stripped of the tag team championship. MVP could have simply forced only Eddie Edwards to wrestle a 3 on 1 handicap match. If Eddie doesn’t wrestle that match or if Davey Richards interferes, they’ll be stripped of the tag titles and won’t be on the pay-per-view. Well Eddie can just lay down and take the pin, but would 3 goons let a man be pinned when their job is to weaken Eddie before his tag title match at the pay-per-view?. That would have been much more effective to wearing them down before this Sunday’s pay-per-view. I’m just not convinced two friends would suddenly give it their all to win a match and not just one finger pin the other.

TNA Impact’s logic is floundering. Maybe my logic is floundering and while people want Davey vs Eddie, it just doesn’t make sense for them to have it without saying this is a #1 contenders match for the TNA title. Even then, two tag team champions might refuse to wrestle one another, but that would still be a good enough way to motivate them into wrestling, but then Eddie might want Davey to have the title shot and give up an easy pin. That is why I still fall back to my 3 on 1 match to weaken one of the Wolves.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (5/29/14)

BULLY RAY PROMO AND BRAWL (a repeat of last week)
He has collected tables to put people through. Its no longer about putting Dixie through a table, its about putting everyone through. MVP eventually comes out… alone, why even bother coming out alone when you have a gang? Why does Bully Ray come out alone when he knows there’s a faction. But oh well, who cares. At least MVP realizes he has a faction. It turns into a replay of last week, a 5 on 1 attack. These stupid faces. Bully Ray, the leader of the last great TNA faction should know not to go against a gang by yourself. We all love Bully Ray, but unless he’s going over all 5 guys, he’s just an idiot with a dead crowd that doesn’t give a fuck with a repeat of last week’s beat down.

Eric Young leads out the troops for the save, which is great. Austin Aries wants 3 on 3 right now! Well there’s 5 heels out there…. and 5 faces. Why not have a 6 man tag with 10 men out there? Spud goes through the table. 

SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH: AUSTIN ARIES & THE WOLVES vs MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY (throw away match)
I really have to wonder, why the man in charge even needs to be wrestling matches. Does a king do his own dirty work? Whatever. Big names are big names. If anything this should be either making the Wolves look like stars or making MVP’s faction look like stars. It is sad that after watching NXT Takeover, these 6 amazing workers just rush through spots and don’t really have the time to tell a story. This could be a big match, but its a throw away opener with no consequence. WWE would make this match the main event with everything on the show building to it. This could have been TNA’s version of Evolution vs the Shield, even if its on a free TV show. Some emphasis should have been put on the guy sent to the hospital last week. Is he still too injured to compete? Nope. Who cares?

MAGNUS & BRAM BACKSTAGE
Yep… more of Bram wanting Magnus to be more heel than he is. Magnus, a guy that said he would do anything to get the title is a guy not getting the title. If anything Magnus should be a face going into this storyline or even trying to encourage a newcomer Bram to be more heel than a heel.

EC3 & DIXIE BACKSTAGE
Dixie has business with MVP. This could have been done with a graphic and the announcers.

TIGRE UNO vs BRAM w/ MAGNUS
I see Uno going down, although TNA could really make a star out of Uno and have him going over clean, because Uno is just above this shit. Bram is a big guy and I hope he gets a push, but I’d rather see a good match against Tigre Uno, but in a page out of the WWE’s book, smaller guys = jobbers. Its a good character builder for Bram. Both Bram and Tigre can look like stars coming out of this with Bram cheating to win, because he’s trying to teach Magnus how to be a bigger heel.

MAGNUS & BRAM ARGUE
Yep be a heel Magnus. What a stupid storyline. Magnus wants Bram to prove himself against Willow. Good. I hope Bram goes over Willow. I’d rather see Tigre Uno vs Willow, but whatever.

MR. ANDERSON & GUNNER BACKSTAGE
Ken wonders what Gunner is doing, and Gunner says Dexter needs help.

BRITTANY & MADISON RAYNE BACKSTAGE
Oh who cares. Filler filler, chicken dinner. All of these backstage segments really take away the mystique of TNA wrestlers. The more backstage of them I see, the less they look like stars.

MR. ANDERSON & GUNNER vs BRO MANS (the right guys win)
TNA often  films two TV shows at one TV taping. Apparently this is the wrestling portion of those two TV tapings, because I know last week’s had little wrestling. The right guys go over since they both have matches headed into the pay-per-view.

MENAGERIE APPEARANCE TO BEATDOWN
They attack the Bro Mans. Rebel now has glow sticks, which is cool since she can’t have fire apparently. Their entrance takes way too long, and the Bro Mans need to sell for them slowly walking to the ring. Should be an awful match coming up at the pay-per-view. The Bro Mans should jump them during their 5 minute walk to the ring, or say, our match is over, bye guys. Its awful. I hope the Bro Mans go over.

DIXIE w/ ETHAN CARTER TALKS TO MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY
Two heels should be sharing power. Is it me or is Ethan Carter just a chump with his facial expressions? It gets interrupted by Eric Young and Bully Ray who MVP then makes a match between the two of them. To make sure it is on the up and up, MVP makes Ethan Carter the guest referee. I have a feeling that will turn into a 2 on 1. If they don’t want to compete, they’ll be fired. Eh I would have made it a title match. That way they’ll compete. Here’s the problem, the match is made an hour into the show.

GAIL KIM & BRITTANY vs VELVET SKYE & ANGELINA LOVE
Well, Brittany has been telegraphing a turn for weeks since Madison Rayne wants nothing to do with her. I think it will be a turn, Rayne will align herself with the Beautiful People, even if Rayne didn’t want to be with them. I know how TNA works. The tag teams all have coordinating outfits, which is a good step to looking like actual tag teams. This was just a match thrown out there for a feud. It is #X in a series of #Y.

MADISON RAYNE & BRITTANY CONFRONTATION
Brittany wants to know why Rayne wouldn’t be her partner tonight in the tag match. Brittany just wants to be with Rayne. TNA is working that lesbian angle. Brittany snaps and wonders why Rayne doesn’t like her? Enter the Beautiful People to stir the pot. I’m not sure who the face is in all of this. Rayne wants the title and she has a shot next week.

ETHAN CARTER, MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY BACKSTAGE
They have Ethan’s back. Yep.

ERIC YOUNG vs BULLY RAY
Well the deck was stacked like an Austin match in the late 90s. Kenny King was the ring announcer, Ethan Carter was the guest referee, Bobby Lashley as the guest enforcer and MVP as a guest time keeper (because he’s the one with the ticking clock in his theme music). Fuck this logic, if you’re going to kick their ass, just kick their ass. They can have 4 on 2, 5 if Spud is okay. Where are the other faces to even the odds?

IN CONCLUSION
This was just a pain of a card. TNA is building toward too many matches on their pay-per-view and cramming it on one show is just excessive.

Notice to all TNA wrestlers, coordinate your attacks!

With MVP in power, and having his own faction, apparently TNA has a big problem with 3 on 1 attacks and 3 on 2 attacks. If only TNA wrestlers could coordinate their attacks to be 3 on 3. Take for instance how the Wolves get beat down 3 on 2. Then Eric Young runs in well after the Wolves have been beat down. Several times on the last episode of Impact, someone would run in well after the three man faction was done beating someone down. Too late to help, too late for them to help that wrestler from getting down.

TNA has this history of heel factions that take the faces a year to overcome when really, just clear out the locker room to help. Mike Tennay says that everyone in the back is afraid of MVP. Afraid of what? If MVP was going to fire someone, he would have done it already!

To top that off, last week, we saw Eddy Edwards, Austin Aries, Eric Young and Bully Ray all swoop in for the save. I’m sure Davey Richards would have run in if he weren’t stretchered out to kick off the show. His partner Eddy Edwards didn’t go with him, because he must have had revenge on the mind, but he didn’t even see his partner to the ambulance.

But if you’re keeping count, that’s 4 guys that if they coordinate their attack, they could outnumber the 3 heels and even things up with their new heel referee.

It is also astounding that one on one matches get made by the heel that runs the faction and runs the company. Why would you put your guys in one on one matches, even if your faction will just all jump in 5 minutes into the match?

Oh better yet, why would MVP, a man of power put himself into a singles match? Powerful men like presidents, kings and managers don’t put themselves into fights. Especially not fair fights mono e mono.

I would tell the wrestlers to get a clue and to band together for one coordinated attack, but no. I’ll just tell the writers to get a clue and stop such idiotic booking. At least your knockouts contender managed to run off two heels.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (5/22/14)

MVP PROMO WITH KENNY KING AND BOBBY LASHLEY (explaining why he’s heel but it doesn’t make sense)
MVP is a heel now. He explained his heel turn last week, but now he’s explaining that you can’t just be a great wrestler. You need to be a politician to get power. Yep with all that power the 3 of you clowns can’t get Eric Young’s title. MVP is good on the mic, but this is all just idiotic. King had matches against both Lashley and MVP. Well it was all a plan. Yep. Totally a plan.

WOLVES SHOW UP (and get beat down)
This explanation explained nothing. MVP hired them both. So the Wolves hit the ring. He hired them both too, perhaps are they a part of the plan? Nah. They’re upset for being used. They might have said you used us… and then jumped them! MVP’s boys would have the numbers so they’d win, or just bail because they have the power even if they don’t have the might. So MVP could book them in handicaps. You don’t bite the hand, I used you and you need to be cool with that. Why do your own dirty work when you can just make tough matches? Heck even if the Wolves were to win a tough match, that just means there’s one more match to go!

Nope two of your top faces lost the attack and get speared off a stage from Lashley. Then Kenny King giggles like a schoolgirl or laughs like the 1970s Joker. I can see TNA’s ratings dropping. Its just another heel faction in power.

ERIC YOUNG STORMS IN BACKSTAGE

ERIC CARTER III AND AUNT DIXIE ARRIVE

ERIC YOUNG TRIES TO CUT A PROMO AND GETS CUT OFF BY MVP
Holy fuck why can’t we get past evil factions? Why are there no face factions to spit in their faces and take them out? If Abyss is a face again, why can’t Eric go to Abyss and say, back me up? He can say Abyss, you like hurting people, help me hurt people. Sure Abyss can just turn on Eric Young or Abyss can point out that MVP gave him a job again, but its worth a shot. Eric can go to Austin Aries even. Then they go to the one remaining Wolf and have a 6 man?

Beatdown and Rescue by Austin Aries followed by a challenge!
Eric Young mentions Bobby Lashley sold out. MVP mentions that Lashley didn’t take a shortcut yet yes he did. Oh well. Eric Young says passionate words before attacking and getting beat down by three men. Aries runs in. He must have just gotten there like Eric Young got there 5 or so minutes ago. I have a feeling Aries is really with MVP because he’s wearing black and he fought against MVP. So it makes sense by TNA logic that he’ll turn on Eric Young Later.

Anyway, I smell a 6 man match. Nope. MVP vs Austin Aries

BRAM CONVINCES A HEEL MAGNUS TO BE A HEEL (its crazy i know)
Magnus says he’s getting tired of Brahm so he punches Bram, who laughs and says that’s what we want. Then Magnus helps him up. Huh? ok.

ANGELINA LOVE ISSUES AN OPEN CHALLENGE AND GETS JUMPED BY ANGELINA LOVE (because faces need to weaken heels by using heel tactics).
I can’t keep up with this typing. There could have been a brawl, but after Love throws the first punch.

DAVEY RICHARDS STRETCHERED AWAY (where was his tag partner?)
At least show his partner in the shot. His partner must not give a fuck that his teammate is being stretchered out. Maybe he’s injured somewhere himself. SHOW HIM. Maybe I missed him.

ANGELINA LOVE vs  NOT GAIL KIM (its really Brittany)
We’re now around 25 – 30 minutes in and its the first match. It was a little dumb of Angelina to issue an open challenge, and it excludes all former champions. That works. Otherwise I was going to say the challenge was answered before Gail got there. Gail and Love is the money match. Brittany is the jobber and should be in this case. The referee was distracted by Velvet Skye…. YET VELVET COULDN’T HELP CHRIS SABIN! Gail Kim clears house after the match. Sadly, I just don’t care about Gail vs Love as the money match. I still have 0 interest.

KEN AND JAMES STORM AT A BAR (heel and face role reversal)
Ken wants to play games, James Storm is hostile. James Storm came across as a face and Ken Anderson was just a joke. Beer drinking contest later.

AUSTIN ARIES vs MVP (because men of power fight their own battles)
It is a great match on paper. A money match even, but the logic behind the match is just backward. No president, or king fight their own battles. A man of power should not fight his own battles and if he were to fight his own battles, why would he want to face someone one on one? People of power should be untouchable!!! That’s why Dixie is hiding from Bully Ray.

The match ends with Kenny King causing a DQ via interference. Why not just start the match that way? Why even wrestle? Eric Young runs in and gets beat down. Its just a numbers game. Mike Tennay says everyone is frightened for their jobs. Well if MVP was going to fire anyone… why hasn’t he? MVP announces Lashley vs Eric Young. why doesn’t the title match START RIGHT NOW?

DIXIE INTERRUPTS (and it makes less sense)
MVP asks her didn’t he ban her from Impact? Well the new heel faction moves in on the old faction. Two heels arguing. Dixie says she doesn’t interfere. Yet she’s interfering right there. Dixie says she can do something for MVP. Enter Bully Ray who chases away Dixie and Ethan Carter. MVP asks Bully why he’s there when they’ve been banned?

BULLY AND MVP FACE OFF LEADING TO FACEOFF AGAINST DIXIE CARTER (faces need to attack in numbers)
Bully even wonders why MVP is picking on Eric Young. Soon gets jumped by 3 men. Well with Bully Ray beat down, Dixie tells Ethan to get the tables. For someone so entitled, he should have his butler Spud get the tables. While this was a good balancing of momentum, they were banned. MVP could have had security escort them out where they do this all outside. But well this is wrestling. And again, why don’t these faces attack in numbers?

GUNNER & DEXTER IN PADDED ROOM
Well, Gunner has a serious message about things. Which is good. Its a good message. Gunner will be there for Dexter. Who’s Dexter? I don’t know. Is he still obsessed about Christy Hemme? Is that why he’s in there. Gunner wants to get the straight jacket off of him. You know he can’t leave until you’re discharged.

THE LONE WOLF EDDY EDWARDS vs KENNY KING (because 1 face didn’t learn from every other face that lost)
Why does he want a piece of them in the ring? Why not attack backstage? Why attack them by yourself when the 3 of them will just clobber you? Plus why would Kenny King just go out there by himself? I have a feeling the other 2 will just jump the Lone Wolf Eddy Edwards. If only he went to the hospital with his partner. All of these polite one on one matches make me think some face must be booking matches to be this nice. Nope a heel in charge is making these one on one matches. Perhaps if he told us that with all of these faces weakened earlier in the show he has no doubts that they won’t be able to divide and conquer mono e mono.

The majority of the match takes place outside, but I don’t think its a match. Shouldn’t there be security pulling them apart. You know they do have a regularly scheduled program to go on, but no these two guys are brawling in the ring. Kenny King wins this non match.

DRINKING CONTEST >> JAMES STORM OVER KEN ANDERSON
Yep. Ken gets James beer like he’s a bitch, but I think Ken is getting the heel wasted to make it easier to beat him up. Its like Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd.

MVP BUYS OFF A REF BACKSTAGE (not with money)

JAMES STORM & KEN ANDERSON DRUNK
Enough. Ken Anderson beats down James Storm. Ken could have just broke a bottle over his head an hour ago.

ERIC YOUNG BACKSTAGE PROMO (yep, he’s not 100% but Lashley will get 100% of what he’s got left)
Eric says he’ll show Lashley how crazy he’ll get. I want garbage cans, chairs, cheating. TNA always had an obscure DQ loses a title in a title match. However, this isn’t a title match? Why? Maybe MVP wants to weaken Eric Young before MVP takes the title/ I’ll never know. TNA didn’t explain that.

ERIC YOUNG vs BOBBY LASHLEY (I predict a 3 on 1 with a bought ref)
While I really like Eric Young, he’s not really dazzling in the ring. He doesn’t make me feel its a main event. TNA has never been one for a big drama, slow told story in the ring like the WWE has bee. TNA is more of the dynamic guys that can fly, mat wrestle and do anything in the ring (even if the past 3 major championship runs have been dull, limited heels for 2 – 3 years). I’m shocked that TNA hasn’t turned Eric heel yet, like other top recent champions. He’s still a great, strong champion that goes over clean, but I just don’t think there’s anything that sets him above the rest in terms of in the ring. He’s not flashy, even if he’s a solid champion with the crowd firmly behind him.

Naturally Kenny King and MVP run in, but the referee is cool with it. Well what the fuck. There is no sport in wrestling. One day they’ll really piss Eric Young off by shaving his beard! Austin Aries runs in well after the victory…. to get beat down! Oh you faces. Coordinate your attacks so its not always 2 on 3 or 1 on 3. Mike Tennay says everyone is intimidated by MVP.

PROS:

  • The way the open challenge was handled
  • Momentum balance between Bully and Ethan

CONS:

  • Faces can’t work as a unit to overthrow new heel faction
  • Solo matches with a heel in charge
  • Referee distracted by Velvet Skye’s ass when she couldn’t help Chris Sabin win a few months ago
  • 0 interest in Gail vs Love even with a build
  • Talking, lots of talking
  • Heel faction was everywhere!

Everything Right with TNA Impact (07/05/12)

BULLY RAY PROMO on TWITTER (legal action)
Oh good… TNA has been bit by the Twitter bug. Those suck more than kajiggers… which burrow down into your skin. Bully questions Joseph Park has the pair of nuts to smack him in the face. Joseph Park comes down to the ring. The crowd is hot. Joseph gives Bully Ray a legal lesson with presidency. Abyss / Chris / Joseph Park has always had an impressive presence and even in a suit its no different. Joseph accepts the challenge with no rules. Bully Ray pulls out a paper… using the Christopher Daniels methodology of heat. It is a restraining order against Abyss.

AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE w/ HULK HOGAN (good and brief)
This was good. Aries is a fresh, good character. Hogan wants the belt tonight.

DANIELS / DIXIE RECAP w/ DIXIE BACKSTAGE
Daniels says Claire Lynch is preggers. AJ Styles is the daddy! Mu-ah-ha-ha-ha. Then Dixie is backstage with the road agents. She is asked questions by the mysterious interviewer and there is no answers.

CRIMSON vs DEVON (quick match that sets up something for someone else)
Crimson loses his streak at the last pay-per-view and disappears from TV for 3 weeks… so he gets a title shot. At least show how Crimson has been winning at house shows. Why isn’t Crimson in the BFG Series? He was undefeated for 18 months. Devon is a gatekeeper for D level talent. I have no problem with Devon in this role. It keeps him strong and gives an evaluation of lesser talent. Crimson makes one of the crappiest pin attempts ever that somehow ends up with Devon on top. Quick match thank goth.

Madison Rayne comes marching to the ring. I think she wants some chocolate. Nope its someone else she wants. I fully expected this after a few months ago. This could build to a title reign for someone.

CHRIS SABIN PROMO (a heel needs heat)
Sabin is on crutches. He has some thick sideburns. It is a horrifying shame that he injured both ACLs, one after another. This has to be extremely discouraging since he’s not a main eventer. TNA probably doesn’t pay all the bills. He needs to have another job and that’s a shame. The fans are firmly behind him.

Out comes Robert Roode. This is another guy that should quit if he had two ACL injuries… even if he is a main eventer. He gets heat by verbally running him down and saying its just like every other X-Divisioner. Roode kicks out Sabin’s crutch. It really sucks that I feel anyone else could do the same job or better than Robert Roode. Austin Aries runs in for the save.

X-DIVISION >> DAKOTA DARSOW vs FLIP CASSANOVA (Dakota couldn’t keep up his end)
Dakota Darsow is the son of Barry Darsow. Nothing wrong with that. Flip looks like Sonjay Dutt… and the first words out of Mike Tennay’s mouth are Sonjay Dutt. Some sloppy high-flying from Flip Cassady off the bat, but he makes up for it with a backflip senton butt splash. Dakota Darsow is really struggling to keep up or even maintain himself. I hope Flip wins. Darsow has a long way to go. He’s got a good look, but I don’t see X-Division from him. I see TV title division. Dakota Darsow has a bloody nose. Good little match. Dakota Darsow didn’t keep up his end of the bargain.

Flip has some of Dakota’s blood on him. Flip waits to be interviewed and gets nothing…

BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA BACKSTAGE
Brooke has a tag match with Tara. Tara calls her Boo 2x. Very quick.

GUT CHECK RECAP >> TAYLOR HENDRIX
She didn’t like that she was called not tough enough. The camera loves her and so do you fans. If only her name wasn’t Taeler Hendrix. I chose not to spell her name correctly, since she chose to say she’s a cancer survivor when she’s really a misdiagnosed. Like oh I thought I was pregnant, but it was just gas.

MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM vs BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA (match makes Tara looks good)
Next week Gail Kim gets her title shot… I thought it was this week, but whatever. It should probably be on the pay-per-view. Does anyone remember when it was Terra? Mike Tennay mentions the main event, James Storm vs Jeff Hardy. I totally forgot. This match was quicker than most TNA knockout’s matches. Short match, more of a win.

JAMES STORM LOCKDOWN RECAP w/ JEFF HARDY MATCH HYPE
James Storm recaps Lockdown then talks about Jeff Hardy. Not much here.

AJ PROMO on CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (dropping the angle)
He yells out at Christopher Daniels…. who thankfully comes out to save this segment. Don’t let AJ Styles talk about this ever. KAZ comes out with Daniels and says AJ gets junkie whores pregnant. Daniels has a martini glass… an empty one from the look of it. Christopher Daniels starts some long-winded speech and AJ just tells him to shut up. Holy shit this feud has been going on for a full year. That’s not a compliment. That’s a … let’s move on! I consider the Claire Lynch angle officially dropped by TNA.

HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE interrupted by MASKED MAN
Hogan doing an interview, gets interrupted by one of the masked men that attacked Sting a few weeks ago. He delivers a piece of paper with some carts on it. At least they mentioned the angle.

JEFF HARDY VIDEO
He’s inspired by this series since he missed last year’s series. He wants to end the selfish generation. I kind of thought Jeff Hardy lead the selfish generation what with the drugs and house explosions.

X-DIVISION >> KENNY KING vs LARS ONLY (another X-division match)
Kenny King from ROH and I think from WWE Tough Enough season 2. Good to see someone from any Tough Enough season in still in wrestling. Good match, longer and less reckless than the other match. Lars did some sort of leg trip, leg sweep that looked painful to Kenny King. Tazz said it sucked, but I think that’s how it was supposed to look… painful. I don’t have much to say about this match. I think Christie Hemmy announced Kenny as Kenny Kane.

Christie interviews Kenny King. The fans are behind him in more ways than one.

I’ve come to realize that none of TNA’s own X-Division guys has a match on TV even if they’ll get matches on the Destination X pay-per-view. Bring in new guys and have them go for the title. If anything hopefully Sonjay Dutt will get the X-Division title.

AUSTIN ARIES BEFORE THE BELL PREVIEW (good show everyone seems to love it)
I’ve seen the Before the Bell special with Austin Aries. It is full of good phrases. So many good phrases, you don’t even need to watch it, just listen for 30 minutes which 24 of it is Austin Aries talking.

KENNY KING & AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE (good rub for Kenny King)
They know each other… and they’re happy. Good rub for Kenny King who then disappears so Austin can get asked about relinquishing the belt. Yep.

BFG LEADERBOARD
James Storm > Samoa Joe > Magnus > Kurt Angle

BFG SERIES >> JAMES STORM vs JEFF HARDY (Storm sells for Hardy)
Wow this main event is starting early. It makes me think Claire the junkie slut will be the main event. Jeff Hardy comes out looking like a performance artist on coke. He shares a moment with the crowd. It must suck that Jeff Hardy is still over James Storm. Even if Hardy loses 100 times to Storm… it will still be Jeff Hardy > James Storm. There are plenty of dueling chants. There are a lot of lockups and holds… because this is the main event and they have the time. They come back from commercial and Tazz talks about how crazy it got in the commercial with a street fight on the outside… yet no video clips. It is so hilarious watching James Storm sell for Jeff Hardy, who is too weak to muscle him into selling. Like a leg trip, you see James Storm start falling before Jeff Hardy pulls him. You see the camera angles shift so viewers don’t see the miss between Jeff Hardy’s feet and Storm’s face. Now 100% of the fans are behind Jeff Hardy… who has 90% of the offense of this match. But when James Storm gets a move, Jeff Hardy sells like he’s dead for way too long. But whatever. Good match, gives fans time to get invested in the outcome.

After the match, the winner gives the loser a handshake. Good clean match.

BFG LOCATION
Mike Tennay and Tazz announce that Bound for Glory is going to Phoenix, AZ.

BACKSTAGE w/ KURT ANGLE then MR. ANDERSON
They both briefly talk about the BFG Series and Tennay plugs Mr. Anderson vs Kurt Angle. Then Brooke Tessmacher vs Gail Kim. Bully Ray vs Joseph Park.

HULK HOGAN ANGLE w/ …
This puts a lot of heat on Austin Aries. Anyway, Hogan does a good job of plugging Destination-X, Jeff Hardy, James Storm and Austin Aries. Robert Roode comes out. Robert Roode is so generic. Like he checks all the boxes that meet with a great heel… except for personality. As I’ve pointed out before the real feud seems to be Hulk Hogan & Robert Roode. Roode always has great points. I just wish it was coming from someone better. Austin Aries comes out… Austin Aries gives this match and Roode’s title heat.

lol when Austin and Roode get in each other’s faces… the fans chant for Hogan. Aries ends up holding up both belts and it looks awesome. Great job TNA. Aries gives Hogan the X-Division title and holds up the TNA world title to close the show.