Tag Archives: Bram

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (5/29/14)

BULLY RAY PROMO AND BRAWL (a repeat of last week)
He has collected tables to put people through. Its no longer about putting Dixie through a table, its about putting everyone through. MVP eventually comes out… alone, why even bother coming out alone when you have a gang? Why does Bully Ray come out alone when he knows there’s a faction. But oh well, who cares. At least MVP realizes he has a faction. It turns into a replay of last week, a 5 on 1 attack. These stupid faces. Bully Ray, the leader of the last great TNA faction should know not to go against a gang by yourself. We all love Bully Ray, but unless he’s going over all 5 guys, he’s just an idiot with a dead crowd that doesn’t give a fuck with a repeat of last week’s beat down.

Eric Young leads out the troops for the save, which is great. Austin Aries wants 3 on 3 right now! Well there’s 5 heels out there…. and 5 faces. Why not have a 6 man tag with 10 men out there? Spud goes through the table.¬†

SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH: AUSTIN ARIES & THE WOLVES vs MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY (throw away match)
I really have to wonder, why the man in charge even needs to be wrestling matches. Does a king do his own dirty work? Whatever. Big names are big names. If anything this should be either making the Wolves look like stars or making MVP’s faction look like stars. It is sad that after watching NXT Takeover, these 6 amazing workers just rush through spots and don’t really have the time to tell a story. This could be a big match, but its a throw away opener with no consequence. WWE would make this match the main event with everything on the show building to it. This could have been TNA’s version of Evolution vs the Shield, even if its on a free TV show. Some emphasis should have been put on the guy sent to the hospital last week. Is he still too injured to compete? Nope. Who cares?

MAGNUS & BRAM BACKSTAGE
Yep… more of Bram wanting Magnus to be more heel than he is. Magnus, a guy that said he would do anything to get the title is a guy not getting the title. If anything Magnus should be a face going into this storyline or even trying to encourage a newcomer Bram to be more heel than a heel.

EC3 & DIXIE BACKSTAGE
Dixie has business with MVP. This could have been done with a graphic and the announcers.

TIGRE UNO vs BRAM w/ MAGNUS
I see Uno going down, although TNA could really make a star out of Uno and have him going over clean, because Uno is just above this shit. Bram is a big guy and I hope he gets a push, but I’d rather see a good match against Tigre Uno, but in a page out of the WWE’s book, smaller guys = jobbers. Its a good character builder for Bram. Both Bram and Tigre can look like stars coming out of this with Bram cheating to win, because he’s trying to teach Magnus how to be a bigger heel.

MAGNUS & BRAM ARGUE
Yep be a heel Magnus. What a stupid storyline. Magnus wants Bram to prove himself against Willow. Good. I hope Bram goes over Willow. I’d rather see Tigre Uno vs Willow, but whatever.

MR. ANDERSON & GUNNER BACKSTAGE
Ken wonders what Gunner is doing, and Gunner says Dexter needs help.

BRITTANY & MADISON RAYNE BACKSTAGE
Oh who cares. Filler filler, chicken dinner. All of these backstage segments really take away the mystique of TNA wrestlers. The more backstage of them I see, the less they look like stars.

MR. ANDERSON & GUNNER vs BRO MANS (the right guys win)
TNA often¬† films two TV shows at one TV taping. Apparently this is the wrestling portion of those two TV tapings, because I know last week’s had little wrestling. The right guys go over since they both have matches headed into the pay-per-view.

MENAGERIE APPEARANCE TO BEATDOWN
They attack the Bro Mans. Rebel now has glow sticks, which is cool since she can’t have fire apparently. Their entrance takes way too long, and the Bro Mans need to sell for them slowly walking to the ring. Should be an awful match coming up at the pay-per-view. The Bro Mans should jump them during their 5 minute walk to the ring, or say, our match is over, bye guys. Its awful. I hope the Bro Mans go over.

DIXIE w/ ETHAN CARTER TALKS TO MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY
Two heels should be sharing power. Is it me or is Ethan Carter just a chump with his facial expressions? It gets interrupted by Eric Young and Bully Ray who MVP then makes a match between the two of them. To make sure it is on the up and up, MVP makes Ethan Carter the guest referee. I have a feeling that will turn into a 2 on 1. If they don’t want to compete, they’ll be fired. Eh I would have made it a title match. That way they’ll compete. Here’s the problem, the match is made an hour into the show.

GAIL KIM & BRITTANY vs VELVET SKYE & ANGELINA LOVE
Well, Brittany has been telegraphing a turn for weeks since Madison Rayne wants nothing to do with her. I think it will be a turn, Rayne will align herself with the Beautiful People, even if Rayne didn’t want to be with them. I know how TNA works. The tag teams all have coordinating outfits, which is a good step to looking like actual tag teams. This was just a match thrown out there for a feud. It is #X in a series of #Y.

MADISON RAYNE & BRITTANY CONFRONTATION
Brittany wants to know why Rayne wouldn’t be her partner tonight in the tag match. Brittany just wants to be with Rayne. TNA is working that lesbian angle. Brittany snaps and wonders why Rayne doesn’t like her? Enter the Beautiful People to stir the pot. I’m not sure who the face is in all of this. Rayne wants the title and she has a shot next week.

ETHAN CARTER, MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY BACKSTAGE
They have Ethan’s back. Yep.

ERIC YOUNG vs BULLY RAY
Well the deck was stacked like an Austin match in the late 90s. Kenny King was the ring announcer, Ethan Carter was the guest referee, Bobby Lashley as the guest enforcer and MVP as a guest time keeper (because he’s the one with the ticking clock in his theme music). Fuck this logic, if you’re going to kick their ass, just kick their ass. They can have 4 on 2, 5 if Spud is okay. Where are the other faces to even the odds?

IN CONCLUSION
This was just a pain of a card. TNA is building toward too many matches on their pay-per-view and cramming it on one show is just excessive.

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