Tag Archives: Mr. Anderson

TNA Slammiversary 2014 Predictions, Hopes and Booking

There are 9+ matches and segments on this card and a Hall of Fame induction segment with Kurt Angle. I remember when WWE wouldn’t ever have more than 7 on a pay-per-view.

THE VON ERICHS (MARSHALL & ROSS) vs TBA
I have a feeling the TBA will be Bro Mans and DJ Zima Ion. If not them, then Spud. This will be a feel good moment hopefully later in the event o lift up the crowd. Robbie E and Jesse do the job, all Texans go home happy.  Maybe Lacey Von Erich will be out there too as a face valet. She could then join the Knockout division and have some fresh matches. This would also give the Bro Mans a spot on the card, when clearly all signs point to a six man tag between the Bro Mans and the Menagerie. But I guess the Menagerie can’t do a six man, when one of their guys is in the six way for the X-Division title.

KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, ANGELINA LOVE w/ VELVET SKYE vs GAIL KIM
Gail Kim has always been the #1 contender. Angelina Love has been ducking her since winning the title. This is about as deep as the Knockouts division goes. These four women. Angelina Loves should keep this title for the specific fact that she should never hold this title again. Gail Kim winning the title wouldn’t suddenly open up new matches to the Knockouts Division. This is it. These four women. They need to open up the division to one shot appearances from women outside the company for one match or so. Maybe with the Von Erichs appearing, they’ll bring back Lacey Von Erich to screw over Gail Kim and open up some fresh matches. Lacey was a member of the beautiful people at some point, but she’s currently doing erotic point of view wrestling.

They could also have Lacey cost Angelina the title, so Lacey can be a face valet with the Von Erichs and be her own person in the knockout division.

MR. ANDERSON vs JAMES STORM
If there’s one match on this card that I couldn’t care less about, its this one. Please let them open the show with this. After watching TNA all month or so, I can’t tell who’s the heel and the face. James Storm really comes off as a face, while Ken Anderson seems to be the bad comedy heel people want to see beat. Much like Rockstar Spud ‘s role in the Bully Ray feud. Mr. Anderson should win, keep the crowd happy, someone famous that they know. So he can get fed to MVP. Heck, if TNA cuts the match, I’d be okay with it, but I guess a promise is a promise. Have it.

WILLOW w/ ABYSS vs MAGNUS w/ BRAM
On Impact, the guys had a face to face. Willow kept saying WE, he and Jeff Hardy will take out Bram and Magnus, so Abyss comes out as back up. Personally I would have rather seen someone with Jeff Hardy’s size wear a Willow mask at the PPV to wrestle Magnus, then have the real Jeff Hardy run out to blow people’s minds. As for who wins this match? It’ll end in a DQ. Abyss just came back, Bram is new and Magnus now likes to hit people with objects, because getting you disqualified somehow moves you up the ladder? Good logic buddy.

X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP 6 WAY LADDER MATCH: Champion, SANADA vs TIGRE UNO vs CRAZZY STEVE vs EDDIE EDWARDS vs DAVEY RICHARDS vs MANIK
This is my most anticipated match, even though there’s zero build for it on Impact. It was just thrown together. For the past 2 years, TNA has used its X-Division title as an Option C, a guaranteed, TNA title match at the expense of giving up the X-Division title. Much like a Money in the Bank briefcase in the WWE. The TNA title match would happen at the Destination X event on Spike TV.

If Eddie or Davey win, I think that telegraphs MVP winning the title, assuming he’s not too injured to win the title. I really hope Sanada wins. He’s the guy not caught up in backstage shit and hasn’t been beat down by MVP’s group. He can be a fresh story and offer a straight up wrestling match for the title. Samoa Joe, Austin Aries and Bully Ray can fend off MVP and Ethan Carter so Sanada can get a clean match out of MVP or Eric Young at the Destination X event. It would mean so much more to have a clean wrestling match, because that never happens anymore.

Once the title is given up, there should be a tournament for the vacated championship building to Destination X.

I just really hope that Crazzy Steve doesn’t have his music blasting all match long. TNA has a real chance to turn this match into something special like Money in the Bank instead of a forgettable spot fest. They could even use the Menagerie stilt walkers to aid Crazzy Steve.

AUSTIN ARIES vs KENNY KING
Why aren’t these two in the X-Division championship match? Two former X-Division champions and all. Well they’ve got a going feud, so why not have this match? It should be a good match, but the trick is to make it a memorable match. Let Austin Aries win to feed him to MVP. Heck Aries could win this match and still face off against the X-Division champion before Destination X.

SAMOA JOE vs BOBBY LASHLEY
Even though there is no heat to this match, I’m looking forward to two bulls fighting. I would say Joe should win, since he just came back and they can feed Joe to MVP, but Bobby Lashley has 2 victories over the TNA champion, Eric Young. Bobby Lashley should win. I think this match could be memorable if its stiff and technical. Two big dudes that can suplex one another.

TNA HALL OF FAME INDUCTION WITH HOST KURT ANGLE
Wow, there are 9+ matches on this pay-per-view and they need a hall of fame induction too? Well it is Slammiversary, so why not? They have Kurt and Sting in the hall of fame, and I see this hall of fame more as an everyone not in the WWE hall of fame. So why not Dixie Carter? She can come down to the ring, accept the award and she should be in the Hall of Fame. TNA has been building to putting Dixie Carter through a table for the past few months, maybe since their last pay-per-view. Bully Ray could then appear to put her through a table, but then Ethan Carter can run out and they can have their match right then and there. That’s what ECW would have done.

TEXAS DEATH MATCH: BULLY RAY vs ETHAN CARTER III W/ SPUD
It was built up as a table match originally, but since Slammiversary is in Texas, why not have a Texas Death Match? I hope they’ll actually keep the 10 count after a pinfall like the true version. Otherwise, its just a last man standing match. The real issue here is putting Dixie Carter through the table. I would say Dixie will get put through a table at a TV taping at the old ECW arena, the Manhattan center, but Spike TV doesn’t allow violence against women. Bully Ray even came out this week on Impact and saved Brooke Tessmacher, showing to the crowd he’s not anti woman, he’s anti Dixie. Bully Ray needs to put Dixie through a table on pay-per-view. First because Spike TV won’t let them, and second, because people are paying for Slammiversary.

TNA CHAMPIONSHIP STEEL CAGE MATCH: Champion, ERIC YOUNG vs MVP
The big question going into this match is will MVP be able to compete. MVP cannot compete, I updated after this match. Supposedly he injured himself on a non TNA show. If MVP can’t make it, Lashley needs to take his place. Bobby Lashley now has 2 wins over Eric Young, that puts Lashley right there with Eric Young. Heck, MVP has lost two matches to Eric Young.

TNA must not like money, because they just had their Champion, Eric Young against the challenger MVP on free television three days from their match on PPV. Perhaps their logic is people will pay for the cage match. No. Who cares? I just saw Eric Young win and beat the challenger MVP after taking out two other men. Plus, even with a rested Eric Young against MVP, I can’t imagine them having a better match even with a cage! I remember when WCW would give away their PPV main events free on Nitro. MVP should have come out and told Eric Young, I’m not the last guy, we agreed to two out of three wins. I didn’t say I’d be guy #3. I am not a number, I am the guy you’ll face at Slammiversary. Why would MVP ever agree to this? Even with a logical cage match to keep out Kenny King and Bobby Lashley, the challenger, MVP has a history of buying off and bullying referees into winning matches. The deck is stacked against Eric Young. Better put a top on that cage! MVP will win, but I’ve bet against Eric Young before and been wrong…. Personally, I’d keep the title on Eric Young, because MVP still has power to make matches yet he doesn’t ever make wise matches, but on the other hand if MVP doesn’t win the title, that’s sort of a road block for his faction.

*** UPDATE *** TNA CHAMPIONSHIP STEEL CAGE THREE WAY MATCH: Champion, ERIC YOUNG vs TBA vs TBA
So apparently MVP is really injured and can’t make the show. So TNA has announced the winners of Austin Aries vs Kenny King and Samoa Joe vs Bobby Lashley would be entered in the match. I predict Lashley and King to be inserted into the match, when really it should just be Bobby Lashley, who has 2 wins over the champion, Eric Young. However, having the two qualifying matches gives them weight and a reason to care about them. Anyway, while I predict Lashley and King to win their matches, for the sake of a good match, I hope that its Aries and Samoa Joe in the cage, but the fans wouldn’t know who to cheer for. Eric Young should walk out with the TNA title.

There you have it, all of my predictions, hopes, dreams and musings.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (5/29/14)

BULLY RAY PROMO AND BRAWL (a repeat of last week)
He has collected tables to put people through. Its no longer about putting Dixie through a table, its about putting everyone through. MVP eventually comes out… alone, why even bother coming out alone when you have a gang? Why does Bully Ray come out alone when he knows there’s a faction. But oh well, who cares. At least MVP realizes he has a faction. It turns into a replay of last week, a 5 on 1 attack. These stupid faces. Bully Ray, the leader of the last great TNA faction should know not to go against a gang by yourself. We all love Bully Ray, but unless he’s going over all 5 guys, he’s just an idiot with a dead crowd that doesn’t give a fuck with a repeat of last week’s beat down.

Eric Young leads out the troops for the save, which is great. Austin Aries wants 3 on 3 right now! Well there’s 5 heels out there…. and 5 faces. Why not have a 6 man tag with 10 men out there? Spud goes through the table. 

SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH: AUSTIN ARIES & THE WOLVES vs MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY (throw away match)
I really have to wonder, why the man in charge even needs to be wrestling matches. Does a king do his own dirty work? Whatever. Big names are big names. If anything this should be either making the Wolves look like stars or making MVP’s faction look like stars. It is sad that after watching NXT Takeover, these 6 amazing workers just rush through spots and don’t really have the time to tell a story. This could be a big match, but its a throw away opener with no consequence. WWE would make this match the main event with everything on the show building to it. This could have been TNA’s version of Evolution vs the Shield, even if its on a free TV show. Some emphasis should have been put on the guy sent to the hospital last week. Is he still too injured to compete? Nope. Who cares?

MAGNUS & BRAM BACKSTAGE
Yep… more of Bram wanting Magnus to be more heel than he is. Magnus, a guy that said he would do anything to get the title is a guy not getting the title. If anything Magnus should be a face going into this storyline or even trying to encourage a newcomer Bram to be more heel than a heel.

EC3 & DIXIE BACKSTAGE
Dixie has business with MVP. This could have been done with a graphic and the announcers.

TIGRE UNO vs BRAM w/ MAGNUS
I see Uno going down, although TNA could really make a star out of Uno and have him going over clean, because Uno is just above this shit. Bram is a big guy and I hope he gets a push, but I’d rather see a good match against Tigre Uno, but in a page out of the WWE’s book, smaller guys = jobbers. Its a good character builder for Bram. Both Bram and Tigre can look like stars coming out of this with Bram cheating to win, because he’s trying to teach Magnus how to be a bigger heel.

MAGNUS & BRAM ARGUE
Yep be a heel Magnus. What a stupid storyline. Magnus wants Bram to prove himself against Willow. Good. I hope Bram goes over Willow. I’d rather see Tigre Uno vs Willow, but whatever.

MR. ANDERSON & GUNNER BACKSTAGE
Ken wonders what Gunner is doing, and Gunner says Dexter needs help.

BRITTANY & MADISON RAYNE BACKSTAGE
Oh who cares. Filler filler, chicken dinner. All of these backstage segments really take away the mystique of TNA wrestlers. The more backstage of them I see, the less they look like stars.

MR. ANDERSON & GUNNER vs BRO MANS (the right guys win)
TNA often  films two TV shows at one TV taping. Apparently this is the wrestling portion of those two TV tapings, because I know last week’s had little wrestling. The right guys go over since they both have matches headed into the pay-per-view.

MENAGERIE APPEARANCE TO BEATDOWN
They attack the Bro Mans. Rebel now has glow sticks, which is cool since she can’t have fire apparently. Their entrance takes way too long, and the Bro Mans need to sell for them slowly walking to the ring. Should be an awful match coming up at the pay-per-view. The Bro Mans should jump them during their 5 minute walk to the ring, or say, our match is over, bye guys. Its awful. I hope the Bro Mans go over.

DIXIE w/ ETHAN CARTER TALKS TO MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY
Two heels should be sharing power. Is it me or is Ethan Carter just a chump with his facial expressions? It gets interrupted by Eric Young and Bully Ray who MVP then makes a match between the two of them. To make sure it is on the up and up, MVP makes Ethan Carter the guest referee. I have a feeling that will turn into a 2 on 1. If they don’t want to compete, they’ll be fired. Eh I would have made it a title match. That way they’ll compete. Here’s the problem, the match is made an hour into the show.

GAIL KIM & BRITTANY vs VELVET SKYE & ANGELINA LOVE
Well, Brittany has been telegraphing a turn for weeks since Madison Rayne wants nothing to do with her. I think it will be a turn, Rayne will align herself with the Beautiful People, even if Rayne didn’t want to be with them. I know how TNA works. The tag teams all have coordinating outfits, which is a good step to looking like actual tag teams. This was just a match thrown out there for a feud. It is #X in a series of #Y.

MADISON RAYNE & BRITTANY CONFRONTATION
Brittany wants to know why Rayne wouldn’t be her partner tonight in the tag match. Brittany just wants to be with Rayne. TNA is working that lesbian angle. Brittany snaps and wonders why Rayne doesn’t like her? Enter the Beautiful People to stir the pot. I’m not sure who the face is in all of this. Rayne wants the title and she has a shot next week.

ETHAN CARTER, MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY BACKSTAGE
They have Ethan’s back. Yep.

ERIC YOUNG vs BULLY RAY
Well the deck was stacked like an Austin match in the late 90s. Kenny King was the ring announcer, Ethan Carter was the guest referee, Bobby Lashley as the guest enforcer and MVP as a guest time keeper (because he’s the one with the ticking clock in his theme music). Fuck this logic, if you’re going to kick their ass, just kick their ass. They can have 4 on 2, 5 if Spud is okay. Where are the other faces to even the odds?

IN CONCLUSION
This was just a pain of a card. TNA is building toward too many matches on their pay-per-view and cramming it on one show is just excessive.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (6/28/12)

AJ STYLES & DIXIE CARTER BACKSTAGE (brief)
Another brief backstage thing with AJ saying he’s gonna beat up Daniels and Kazarian. At least this was quick and painless compared to Derrek Bateman backstage at NXT. I still feel that TNA can salvage the Clare Lynch / AJ / Dixie / Daniels / KAZ storyline and you can read about it here… (http://wp.me/p1Prve-j9)

BFG >> MR. ANDERSON vs RVD (surprisingly good … maybe because it wasn’t bad)
Mr. Anderson looks at the mic too long. He talks too long. Do we have any assholes in the building tonight. Yayyyy he’s swearing He swore! Let’s cheer him. He hails from Green Bay Wisconsin. As a Chicagoan… you shouldn’t be proud of that, but whatever. Tennay runs down Mr. Anderson winning 2 points at a TNA live event for a time limit draw. When TNA goes to a commercial they need to throw up the wins / losses in a round robin graph.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. As of last year… I never want to see this match again. Tennay mentions that there is now a 15 minute time limit. I’d rather have a 10 minute time limit, but whatever. RVD does an Indian death lock and Anderson crawls out of it which made it very awkward for RVD. RVD has some good submissions and Anderson has some legitimate fight out of the submissions. Looked good. Over the past few months Anderson has gotten better… and this comment comes from someone that doesn’t like him. RVD has some very beautiful moves and submissions.

The crowd stays hot for this match and that’s what’s really important. This was a good little match and it was the right amount of time for me to get into it and actually care, which is something I couldn’t say about any match last week. James Storm > Samoa Joe > Kurt Angle > Mr Anderson > RVD so far in the BFG Series

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO (good, not gold)
TNA shows that someone else is coming to the ring. They play his music and I have no idea who’s coming to the ring… then they reveal its Austin Aries. Oh yeah. I have no idea what his entrance looks like and I watch every week.

Aries explains his choice last week to sacrifice the belt… that would be something good for the Sacrifice PPV. He also explains that the X-Division will have a tournament at Destination X to determine the new title. Good. That was my idea last year, along the lines of the Super Junior tournament in Japan.

Robert Roode comes down. He looks like an accountant. Austin Aries looks like a magician, but I’d rather pay to see a magician than pay to see an accountant. Robert Roode says that he’s made the belt worth something. See I disagree. He needs more clean wins. Austin Aries has had good clean wins. Roode points out the BFG series will have 12 men fighting for a chance at the title. Well Aries should point out that the X-Division will have a tournament. Robert Roode brings up Hulk Hogan. Makes me think the real feud here is Hogan vs Roode not Roode vs Storm or even the man he’s standing with.

Aries heats things up when he dares Roode to take him out of his rings. The crowd is hot. They get read, then Roode bails. Aries should have jumped at him when Roode bailed.

CLARE LYNCH RECAP / CLARE LYNCH BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW w/ DIXIE (terrible)
Terrible stuff. Their backstage interviewer is no longer Jason Hervy. The interviewer asks her how she met Dixie. Oh through a party at Dixie’s. Uggg. Terrible.

DANIELS & KAZ BACKSTAGE
They argue. Too brief to be good or bad.

X-DIVISION QUALIFIER >> SONJAY DUTT vs RUBIX (2 guys thrown out there cold fire up the crowd)
Dutt is back! At least for a month. He’s been in TNA’s other promotion Ring Ka King in India. I’ve heard of Rubix. This should be highly entertaining. Hopefully they can rekindle the X-Division now that its dead. But how rekindled can it be when TNA has the Bound for Glory Series? Rubix has a great look. He’s crisp and very quick. Sonjay himself is a great pro and always has been. Its great when 2 guys who haven’t been in the company or in the company for 2+ years can come in and fire up the crowd like this with no introduction. A sick backflip double stomp finisher. Clean victory. Good stuff even if it was quick. The fans are firmly behind the winner. The winner is stopped by Christy Hemme and he says says he’s never been TNA X-Division championship, so that’s his goal.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX EVALUATION
Tazz, Al Snow & Bruch Prichard backstage in the trailer to talk. Its in pure work mode. They question if she’s green or game ready. I think she’s ready with a lot of growth potential. Tazz hates when people come in with a sense of entitlement… and Taylor doesn’t have that. Bruce questions if they’ll buy a PPV because she’s on it. Truth be told so many people have found my reviews of TNA Impact because of Taylor Hendrix. Yes. She is a draw. A skinny chick with big implants. She’s a draw. Plus she’s fresher than 9/10ths of the knockouts.

BFG >> SAMOA JOE vs BULLY RAY (hard hitting and heavy lifting)
It astounds me how TNA can throw guys out cold or spend years making them lose, yet the crowd is always hot for them. This match should be awesome and at some point I would have paid for it. The crowd even knows its awesome before it happens. They’re soaking it in before they wrestle. Fans are heavy chanting through the match. This match is as you’d expect…. hard hitting and heavy lifting. What’s strange and good is Bully Ray is working the arm. Bully Ray even does a running frog splash. Toward the end of the match Joseph Park runs to the ring, Bully Ray puts his hands on Joseph who then slaps him hard. The crowd explodes.

JOSEPH PARK PROMO (good stuff)
After the match, Joseph says he’s been bullied all his life. So he challenges Bully tonight! Now he says in 2 weeks from tonight. What? Oh well 2 weeks Bully vs Joseph Park.

DIXIE & CLARE BACKSTAGE (bad)
Dixie explains all. Wow this is done in such a sterile environment to keep the fans out of it. Dixie explains Christopher Daniels twisted the facts. Daniels caught Dixie and AJ Styles planning a surprise birthday party for Dixie’s husband Serge.

KAZ & HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE (bad and dumb)
LOL wow KAZ is backpedaling. He wants to bail on Daniels. Again they can really salvage this angle if Daniels comes out and says that AJ & Dixie are lying. This woman Clare Lynch is a serrogate mother holding Dixie’s fertilized egg with AJ’s sperm. Go further not pull back. Or hell just drop it like the Sting and three masked men angle. I wanted KAZ to stay face or go heel. Not both.

MADISON RAYNE & GARRETT BISCHOFF BACKSTAGE (quick)
Garrett is wearing a bowling shirt. Madison Rayne has this crush… so she’s wondering ‘what’s he like?’ I bet its Robbie E.

2 BROOKES & 1 GAIL (the rematch is set)
Brooke Hogan tells Brooke Tessmacher that she’s the new Direct Auto spokesperson. Gail Kim arrives and it gets interesting without getting bad. Gail wants her rematch. Hogan… Brooke Hogan tells her next week she gets a rematch.

X-DIVISION QUALIFIER >> RASHAAD CAMERON vs MASON ANDREWS (high octane recklessness)
Cameron has a great look, black guy with a fro and colorful tights. He looks different. He doesn’t feel like an X-Division guy. Mason Andrews has a spring in his step. The crowd is less hot for this match. There are plenty of ooos and ahhhs. Mason has some great areal work and almost kills himself corkscrewing not high enough over the top rope to the outside. Rashaad isn’t the best worker and neither is Mason. Rashaad seems to be safer like he works a main event style while Rashaad works an X division style. Mason Andrews looks very bland even if his moves are totally flashy. Maybe he needs a mask. The fans chant this is awesome at some sloppy work. Quick match and that’s okay. The winner says that the fans know they’re looking at the next X-Division champion! Good. The fans boo him. Even better!

HULK HOGAN & JAMES STORM BACKSTAGE w/ JEFF HARDY (how’s everybody)
James Storm asks about Sting. Hogan asks about James. Hogan says next week Storm vs Jeff Hardy. This was quick and you know what’s next week. TNA is fun right now. They give you stuff to look forward to. They’re building to things and they’re using matches to prove the best.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX DECISION (the interruption)
I say she gets it, but who knows. Tazz, Al Snow and Bruce Prichard make the decision. Taylor this is a beauty pageant, make sure to wave like a queen. Tazz says… what the fans say. Al Snow says… There’s someone in the crowd… and its Joey Ryan with a sign. Awesome. He should get dragged away by security. Joey is challenging Tazz and bang there’s security. Live television. Al Snow says something. Leaving one final man to tie break! Taylor is force to cut a promo. Good promo, bad delivery. Sounded whinny, forced and not real. Bruce Prichard says he doesn’t think she’s mean enough. Huh? Whatever. Tara is mean enough and she doesn’t go anywhere. She’s the sympathetic babyface. Oh and for the dozens of people writing me in wonder, she had been misdiagnosed with cancer. She’s not a survivor.

KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (an announcement)
AJ announces that he and Daniels have a last man standing match at Destination X. Should be good…. if we didn’t see it every month for the past 4+ months.

TAG TITLES >> KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES vs CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZ
So from this show we’ve learned KAZ doesn’t want to be with Daniels. Clare Lynch and Dixie Carter are ringside watching. At the last pay-per-view this was the match of the show if not TNA’s 2012.

This really tells the story of KAZ turning on Daniels. When Angle tries to suplex Daniels and Daniels hangs onto KAZ, KAZ hits Daniels to get him to let go so Angle can suplex him. Then KAZ turns on Daniels and gives him to AJ Styles. Good little match, but not the same…

DANIELS DECLARES AJ IS THE FATHER!

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (6/21/12)

TNA OPENING RECAP (brief, but star making)
Roode recap. Aries recap. Good stuff… because they’re faces. People care about both of them. Aries is on fire. Brief recap. TNA has been getting a lot better lately. Like I can’t wait for TNA Impact every week. I’m not the only person saying that.

HULK HOGAN & AUSTIN ARIES ANGLE (headed to Aries execution)
As much as I don’t care what Hogan has to say… I think… he’s not Robert Roode or HHH starting off a 2 hour wrestling show… so that makes me happy. Tonight is Gut Check and Open Fight Night. TNA will have its first female Gut Check challenger. They’ve also got the Bound for Glory Series. I’m actually looking forward to this.

Hogan wants an answer from Aries if he will give up his X-Division championship for a title shot at Robert Roode at Destination X. See this is a terrible idea, a bad idea and a good idea all at once. It is a good idea, because Austin Aries doesn’t need to be beat to give up a low-end title. It is a bad idea because I’d much rather see Aries vs AJ Stylez main event Destination X and its a terrible idea, because Roode’s storyline trumps Austin Aries career. Aries should not come to an end. If anything Aries should be the man to take the belt even if the angle is designed for James Storm to get the top title.

Austin Aries wants any X-Division champion to have the opportunity to give up the title for a top title shot at the Destination X. Good idea I guess, since it puts heat on the belt… once a year. Robert Roode comes out and blah blah blah. It ends in a hockey fight. Yes a shirt pulling hockey fight before its broken up. Then Mr. Anderson appears with microphone in hand. He doesn’t have his blonde hair. Don’t ever let Anderson talk. Anderson says he’ll win the Bound for Glory Series. Please no. Oddly enough Mr. Anderson wasn’t terrible on the microphone. He was okay.

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES SCORE SYSTEM (Thank goth they talk about it.)
Same as last year. Good idea to show how scoring is done. Still lose 10 points for a DQ and there is now a 10 minute time limit for each match. Good. I like that. Gives a chance for draws.

BFG >> MR. ANDERSON vs CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (good for its clean victory)
Mr. Anderson challenges Christopher Daniels. Again, don’t let Mr. Anderson talk. Christopher Daniels comes out with an appletini. I remember this match from a month ago. Very meh in terms of crowd heat compared to most TNA matches in the past few months. Good clean finish. Thank you TNA. I laugh at how Mike Tenney calls something a patented move… when so many people do it. The victory celebration is silly if not dumb.

AJ & DIXIE BACKSTAGE (time filler)
She wants to tell everyone… This is a time filler. We saw 2 of these last week. I expect to see 2 more tonight.

BROOKE HOGAN w/ ODB / MICKIE JAMES / VELVET SKYE / MADISON RAYNE (pretty bad)
This was done reality style… They’re discussing who gets the Knockouts title. Brooke wants to know why they want the title. This does put heat on the Knockouts title. Wow this does not make any of the four glow in a positive light. This was designed to make Brooke Hogan look good and like the only sane person.

BFG >> ROBBIE E vs KURT ANGLE (effective)
Robbie E does a good open challenge that is answered by Angle. I predict a destruction of both Robbie E and Rob Terry. Great victory. Made the winner look very effective.

TAYLOR HENDRIX GUT CHECK VIDEO (interesting story)
She’s got red hair. That’s what’s missing from wrestling. None of her footage had red hair. In fact her footage makes her look like Mickie James this is a plus for her… but not Mickie. She announces that she was diagnosed with cancer at age 21.

BFG >> MAGNUS vs AJ STYLEZ (an ok match too short to be good)
This episode of Impact is going by quick. Magnus calls out someone, it goes to commercial. I have a feeling its Joe. Nope its AJ Stylez. Funny how all of these open challenges call out home wreckers. ODB should call out the Wedding Planner next. Magnus catches AJ off the top rope with a ragdoll catch then turns it into a suplex. That looked good. AJ misses a Pele kick. Apparently what he and Dixie are going through is messing with him. Daniels & KAZ interfere. At least they haven’t interfered in a while.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX vs TARA (give her a job)
She looks like she’s in the hot girl marching band… implants… so she’ll fit in with TNA’s abnormal sized implants. Tara comes down to the ring. Good choice. I would have had Gail Kim, but I guess Gail has more of a character. So what do we grade here? Her ability to sell? Do we grade Taylor Hendrix ability to mimmick Mickie James?

I say give Taylor Hendrix a TNA contract. She’s hot with crisp work and mega implants that TNA loves. We haven’t seen a new knockout in at least a year. Get rid of Angelina Love or Winter. What have they done lately?

In fact since Brooke Tessmacher hasn’t been here this week, they can have Taylor get a job next week and have Brooke return to say She’s not Taylor… she’s some stalker from my former sorority!

JOSEPH PARK & BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE (too brief to be gold)
Bully Ray bullies the giant Joseph Park who brings up his brother… Bully Ray doesn’t want to see Joseph Park in the crowd. This was good… stoopid bastad.

BFG >> SAMOA JOE vs JAMES STORM (on the verge of good, but not long enough)
Since no one has the guts to call out Samoa Joe, he calls out James Storm. Should be good, but every match on this show has been 2 – 4 minutes. A win is a win even if its not really a match. Tazz & Tennay hype the fact James Storm has been away from active competition. There is a dueling chant… which is good. Joe dumps James on his head with a power slam. After the match Joe comes at James Storm with a beer bottle… I won’t ruin what happens next.

AJ / DIXIE / DANIELS ANGLE VIDEO RECAP
Yep AJ & Dixie have a surprise for Serge. It’s probably like an autograph from Serge’s favorite baseball player. Good recap of a terrible angle that gives AJ an excuse to lose.

AJ & DIXIE BACKSTAGE (again)
Time filler… AJ wants to get it done tonight. It’s funny because last week AJ wanted it done… then he didn’t and Dixie wanted to. Now this episode starts its Dixie that wants to… and now its AJ. Well now that everyone’s on the same page.

BROOKE HOGAN w/ 3 of the 4 women (too quick to be as bad as it could)
Eh its getting sane. Brooke is kinda pointing out how silly the women are. And someone leaves. Quick.

BFG >> BULLY RAY vs POPE (The ghost of Abyss)
… Pope is back after being gone 6+ months. Crimson was undefeated for 18 months. Why is he not in this series? Whatever. Anyway, comes down to the ring and challenges Pope. Bully Ray needs a racist gimmick to make up for all the black men he beats down. So I guess RVD vs Jeff Hardy will be the main event… I predict another 2 – 4 minute match between Bully Ray and Pope. Interestingly Pope has a punching / elbow combination just like Bully Ray has a punching combo. At some point Abyss comes through the crowd. Terrifying some of the ring rats at ringside. Abyss is just like a ghost haunting Bully Ray.

HOGAN BACKSTAGE w/ JEFF HARDY & RVD
Makes Jeff Hardy vs RVD… yup.

DESTINATION X TRAILER w/ AUSTIN ARIES
Its awesome. Makes him look like a star.

MONTGUMARY GENTRY MUSIC VIDEO starring VELVET SKYE
So she’s a single mother? Or its just acting. This is more Velvet’s video than Montgumary Gentries. They don’t show all of it… but this just proves… get big implants so you can be a star. Even reality shows know the value of implants.

BROOKE HOGAN BACKSTAGE w/ 2 of 4 FINALISTS
This might as well have been a beauty pageant. Quite the shock outcome. Kept quick.

KNOCKOUTS TITLE >> TESSMACHER vs FINALIST
Congrats to TNA for making a new female star with Miss. Tessmacher. Beautiful moves from the finalist. Lots of butt shots from the camera. I wish I didn’t have to report on that… but that’s where the cameras are. This match will probably do TNA’s biggest rating of the night… even with the terrible build. Miss Tessmocher is selling more than Taylor Hendrix. Good clean finish.

BFG >> RVD vs JEFF HARDY (failed to interest me)
Yep its a match. I remember when people would pay for this match. To be honest I had no interest in this match. Two flat guys having the same match for the 1,000th time. It isn’t any better, it isn’t any worse. No heat is put on the match since there’s an angle on top.

PROS

  • Austin Aries in TNA
  • Christopher Daniels appletini
  • Some clean wins in the BFG!
  • Winner of Robbie E & Kurt Angle looked very effective
  • Taylor Hendrix
  • TNA letting the winners celebrate… almost as long as the matches.

CONS

  • No Sting storyline continuation. He was attacked by 3 masked me, Jeff Jarrett and the Harris brothers (I think).
  • Very little build for Destination X… but I guess you need to have an X-Division to have an X-Division pay-per-view.
  • Robert Roode talking
  • Mr. Anderson talking
  • Knockouts discussing why they want the Knockouts title… *shakes head*
  • AJ’s head not in the game… I’d much rather not see him on his year long losing streak.
  • Gut Check as a whole. What are we evaluating? A person’s ability to lose?
  • Tag champs not wearing their championship belts. Did anyone remember they are tag champs?
  • Backstage with Knockouts, but it was kept quick
  • I’ve seen RVD and Hardy too much to care… but that can be said a lot about any match in TNA.
  • No Devon defending the TV title. Not that it matters, but it was said… defending it on every Impact. Maybe he’s on Xplosion.
  • Over run lead to no conclusion with the Dixie and AJ angle… the main event.

Everything Right with TNA Impact (06/14/12)

JAMES STORM VIDEO OPENING (thank god its not Robert Roode)
Very good to say he’s back. Makes him a star. Especially good because he’s not Robert Roode. Brief recap from the past two months.

X-DIVISION TITLE ULTIMATE X >> ARIES vs SABIN vs ZIMA ION (great, hot opener)
On paper this looks awesome, should be an awesome opener. It shouldn’t be thrown out there cold like this, but X-Division matches don’t need any preface, they should get over because they’re X-Division. If Aries were to lose this would be a good opportunity to drop the belt and move up the card. Of course you could also move the X-Division up the card. The fans are quiet because they’re paying attention and popping for offense with a few chants. Thank goth Robert Roode didn’t start the show. He kills all energy. The TNA ring looks bigger. Tazz and Tennay announce that the BFG series is back, which is great if done correctly. BFG Series should be a round robin style tournament instead of tags or three ways.

This match was great, made Aries look like a star as always. He is a clear cut star. This made him look like an incredible star in only five minutes. Unfortunately the other two didn’t shine as bright. TNA gives the winner a little time to shine after the match. Chris Sabin looks to have injured his knee. If that’s true, that’s horrible.

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO (white hot)
Aries talks about how a year ago he walked in and beat everyone. That is absolutely true. Aries wants to move up, he wants to be higher. Enter Hulk Hogan. Aries can become a giant in the BFG series. He can be a huge star in Destination X and main event it against AJ Styles. Hogan says he hears all the hoopla. Aries should be the man in the main event like AJ Styles should have been five years ago. Aries can carry the company and have five star matches with heat with anyone. The crowd is very hot for this segment. Aries wants in the main event. Hogan makes a match for Destination X. Aries vs Bobby Roode. But only if Aries gives up the title. Aries should give up the title. Hell he should get the TNA top title. However, its too early. There’s zero chase, especially now that James Storm is back. Aries should win the BFG Series… and still give up the belt. Not now but in 3 months. Defend the belt against AJ as the main event of Destination X.

SLAMMIVERSY MOMENT w/ DIXIE CARTER (too short)
TNA shows a recap of Slammiversary. Its great for making the company look bigger. Then it just cuts off.

JOSEPH PARKS EATING BACKSTAGE interrupted by BULLY RAY (too brief to be gold)
Bully wonders where Abyss is. Funny how its gone 180. Now Bully Ray wants Abyss. This was kept short, but eh. Not gold.

TV TITLE >>DEVONvs HERNANDEZ (makes sense)
You know it makes sense… Hernandez won a match, so he gets a title shot. Brilliant. I feel Hernandez can be better utilized as mega face forMexico. He can throw around guys and be the pride ofMexico… even if he’s a Texan. SuperMex kicks off the match with a running body press over the top to the outside. Crowd is hot, probably hotter than they were for the opening match. WithDevon’s track record of people interfering in his matches… You’d expect that with this… but no.

DIXIE & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (brief)
AJ can’t do this anymore… He wants to get it out in the open. Bet it’s a surprise party or something for Serge.

BFG SERIES ROYAL RUMBLE >> AJ / RVD / JOE / BULLY RAY / MAGNUS / ANGLE / STORM / POPE / HARDY / ROBBIE E / DANIELS (good stuff)
The winner gets 20 points in the BFG Series. I have no problem with something special like that when they’re all involved as long as everyone is in it and everyone has an even number of matches. So this was done Royal Rumble style where a new person enters every 90 seconds. It starts with the biggest stars before it works down the ladder. The Pope DiAngelo DiNero appears for the first time in half a year. Abyss appears, but he’s not in it. AJ Styles and Kurt Angle don’t wear their belts. Huge chants throughout a lot of the match. So far this might be the hottest match on the show. Good finish, the winner looks like the star and the loser looks like he’ll get revenge

JAMES STORM PROMO (crowd goes nuts and they’re firmly behind Storm)
Mega chants for this guy. Crowd wants to hear what he says and pop for the things he says. See it sucks that Aries will lose at the next PPV and end up without a belt when the main event story arc is setup for James Storm to win it after he wins the BFG Series. Anyway, James Storm is back in a big way. The crowd goes nuts.

ROBERT ROODE BACKSTAGE (meh)
They’ve got a new TMZ interviewer. The voice is different. This segment was pretty much to let you know he’s on the card.

AJ STYLES & KURT ANGLE BACKSTAGE
Kurt is angry with AJ for messing up and yells at him to clear his head of theDixie stuff. Angle has an intensity in a good way. AJ promises to get focused.

BROOKE TESSMACHER vs MADISON RAYNE (an ok match)
It’s shocking to think TNA has turned a corner and everyone is mega over to their crowd. This match seems to be the downer for the crowd. They’re still paying attention and into it, but quiet. But when Tessmacher yells to the crowd they respond big. Nothing wrong with this match. Can’t say it made Brooke look like a star.

BROOKE HOGAN BACKSTAGE w/ GAIL KIM
Brooke wants Open Fight Night with a 4 way Knockouts title. I didn’t think Open Fight was for another 2 weeks. Eh whatever. This was an OK segment, nothing notably wrong or right.

MR. ANDERSON BACKSTAGE
Hey he’s got dark hair and not blonde. He looks like a totally different guy. Very brief 10 seconds.

TNA TITLE >> ROBERT ROODE vs MR ANDERSON (good psychology)
Thank goth Anderson hasn’t really talked this episode. He doesn’t even introduce himself. Good. Strip him of talking and he’s totally fine and he’s been improving in the past few months in the ring. The match starts with 30 minutes left on the show, which normally means a 20 minute angle at the end of the show and yep they still have the AJ & Dixie thing. This episode was very quick with what felt like a lot of wrestling.

I have no interest in this match even if they’ve built a 2 month history with them. It just doesn’t feel like the main event, especially because its not. One good thing I do have to say about this match is that it’s a good fight. Like its not easy for them to do things. It’s a competition for headlocks. Like a struggle. And that’s good. Great victory.

DIXIE & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (again)
They say the same thing, but this time they hug.

IMPACT RECAP (a great idea)
This was good, because it showed everything you may have forgotten keeping it fresh in your mind. Other shows do this and even Internet top 10 lists recap the previous 9 before the #1.

STING VIDEO (made Sting look big)
Sting is the first wrestler to make it to TNA’s Hall of Fame. Sure it’s a joke right now, but in 10 years from now it will be prestigious. Plenty of backstage interview clips putting over Sting’s importance. Good. It made Sting look big. Monumental.

STING SPEECH (and what happens)
Don’t focus on his loss to Robert Roode. Focus on how awesome Sting is! Sting’s face paint looks like a gothic circus clown. The fans chant for Sting. Sting knows there are other people that deserve the honor like the Jarretts. Three masked men attack Sting! Big masked men. They get major heel heat. The fans chant for Hogan. I think the masks are Smoke from Mortal Kombat.

PROS

  • Hot Opener
  • Austin Aries looked like a star
  • Aries & Hogan interaction
  • Hernandez getting a win before his TV title shot
  • Devonis strong
  • Hot Royal Rumble match
  • Joe in the rumble
  • Daniels in the rumble taking out 2 people
  • James Storm is mega over
  • Angle wanting AJ to get his head in the game.
    No talking from Mr Anderson and Robert Roode.
  • It felt like there was a lot of wrestling.
  • Main event match victory
  • Recap of the show just before the main event angle.
  • The main event angle

CONS

  • Too much too soon for Austin Aries when he will get stopped by Roode

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (06/07/12)

TNA IMPACT OPENING with DIXIE LAST WEEK
They recap what happened last week and then show what happened off the air. Dixie is angry marching to the production truck. Hopefully the AJ / Dixie angle doesn’t turn out to be a surprise birthday party for Serge her husband. TNA said that we’d be going backstage more and more.

DIXIE IN THE RING (heat killer)
She’s all teary eyed. Dixie feels sorry for Christopher Daniels and KAZ that they’d be so sad as to do this. So Dixie is gonna tell the truth! Enter Daniels and KAZ. Daniels has his hand taped. His hand or fingers. Daniels REALLY should have been the one to shave KAZ’s head. Be like me KAZ, be like me! We are one as a tag team. That didn’t happen. Daniels and KAZ look like jobbers wearing Slammiversary T-shirts and they don’t even carry the tag belts. Daniels harasses her. Its nice. Dixie starts trying to bash him, Kaz gives her a nice push to the corner. AJ came in for the save. This isn’t gold, I’m not sure how much heat it has. Serge comes in. He helps his wife and looks angry at AJ Stylez. Serge clocks AJ. They are going into good territory with this, but since its AJ its still unbelievable. The fans are chanting Photo-Shop? Serge leaves them, and AJ walks Dixie out. Well that’s a crowd killer.

It is soon announced AJ & Dixie left the building, but he’s in a six man tag main event!

AUSTIN ARIES & SAMOA JOE BACKSTAGE
Very briefly Joe has an issue with him. Its too brief to get heat.

THE STREAK >> CRIMSON vs AUSTIN ARIES (uh boy)
Crimson issues an open challenge for the PPV. Fight him and lose! Then screams Undefeated!

I still want to point out Crimson was pinned as a tag champion. If anyone on the TNA roster should beat Crimson, it should be Austin Aries. If anyone can get a good match out of Crimson it is Austin Aries. The crowd is behind Aries. But with Joe and Aries having an issue just before the match, that might telegraph the winner. It didn’t last week.

BROOKE BACKSTAGE w/ FACE KNOCKOUTS (surprisingly good)
Look at these outfits! Look at these bodies! They’re more beautiful in person! She’s clearly a face. A man of a face. She puts Velvet, Mickie James, Brooke and Tara into a four way. Why does Brooke look older than these girls when she’s probably the youngest? Brooke mentions that she’s getting them media opperunities. If that’s true, cool. Montgumery Gentry wants Velvet for a music video. Mickie James subtly looks pissed.

HOGAN ANNOUCEMENTS (meh build to the PPV)
Hogan comes out and announces the ten year anniversary party starts tonight end ends next week with the TNA champion having a title match next week on Impact. Then Robert Roode comes out, starts talking, gets interrupted, but Robert Roode is never done talking. It was a good verbal assault… if they’re planning Hogan vs Roode. He puts his hands on Hogan. Sting appears. Roode beats down Sting who just gets back up. Sting sells nothing. Then Robert Roode gets sent out of the ring.

Robert Roode wears a new IT Factor T-shirt that looks terrible and generic. They really could have had some more IT Factor in the IT Factor T-shirt. In other words, that’s not a shirt I’d buy or anyone else.

JOSEPH PARK BACKSTAGE
He can’t believe what he’s doing. Good character. To brief to be great, but this was good for the 30 seconds it was.

#1 CONTENDER >> MICKIE JAMES vs VELVET SKYE vs BROOKE TESSMOCHER vs TARA (seen these women in this match combination too many times)
Brooke Tessmocher is from Houston, TX and the PPV is in TX. Give her the knockout victory in her home state. All faces… except for Mickie who is about to turn. Gail appears soon after the match starts. Gail on commentary says she’s beaten all four. Gail Kim is the longest running Knockouts champ. Along with every other major title holder. Thank goth Gail is on commentary, because this match is so dull and burnt out that I forget there’s a match going on. There is a good spot where all 4 women are involved in submissions. I remember when WWE did similar things 10 years ago. Tara does a top rope moonsault instead of a standing one. Very impressive and graceful, unlike Lita’s.

Eventually former tag partners Brooke & Tara fight. The work starts getting sloppy toward the end. Like someone will get hurt kind of sloppy.

BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE (voice is out of sync?)
Strange the voice is out of sync. He’s got a contract for Joseph Park.

HOGAN BACKSTAGE ON THE PHONE
You get here AJ! Grrr…

BULLY RAY & JOSEPH PARK CONTRACT SIGNING w/ JEREMY BORASH (interesting and entertaining)
This has been a good 3+ month storyline. It would be a good one off match and they might want to do this with non wrestlers. Have them appear 3 months and do one match before disappearing. Do that 4x a year with various people and you can really keep them fresh. Like Robert Roode vs his old friend in spring, Bully vs Joseph in summer, AJ vs Serge in fall, ODB vs the Wedding Planner in winter. Very easy to do.

Bully has a good shirt. Some sort of parody on the Jack Daniels bottle. Joseph Park comes out with no music, but he is not a wrestler. He’s good at not knowing how to get in the ring. He’s good at being clueless. The fans want tables. Bully starts by tearing up the contract. Bully Ray pulls his special contract out that protects him from liability. Joseph Park isn’t crazy enough to do that. The fans cheer him surprisingly. Abyss should come out and sign it then… but that’s not the match. Bully Ray spits in his face. Joseph cuts a promo about his brother who spilt his blood and gave his body. He’ll sign for his brother Chris. If this means Abyss has retired and Joseph needs to wrestle now.

Abyss appears on the big screen. He’s not happy with Joseph. Abyss does some good work, even gets a shock from the crowd. Gold… for such a weird plotline. Bully Ray attacks Joseph. Great segment.

MIKE TENNAY asks TAZZ about JOEY RYAN
People are buzzing about it. Mike asks Tazz if he has any second thoughts. Tazz loves Joey’s character. Hanging out on Twitter and Youtube doesn’t make you better it makes you popular.

BACKSTAGE PROMO with JOEY RYAN (interesting)
Last week Joey was backstage cutting a promo on Tazz so Al Snow swoops in and tells Joey to check himself. Joey doesn’t, so Al Snow escorts him out. I’m sure that wasn’t Joey Ryan’s character that was just him venting. TNA was and wasn’t stupid not to take him. They were stupid, because the fans wanted it and he’s a ten year vet with talent and a great character that would be awesome in TNA. The good reason they didn’t take him is apparently he’s a jerk.

TV TITLE >> DEVON vs ROBBIE E (adding interest with more players)
The feud that will not die. Backstage before the match, Garrett says he’ll have Devon’s back if Devon will let him. Yep. Brief they’re really trying to put over Garrett. They’ll tag up at the PPV. This is the same match that its been for the last 3 months. It hasn’t gotten better or worse. Luckily Maddisson Rayne shows up to look on, making this match watchable. Logically I’d give Decon a clean win, then give Robbie & Rob Terry a cheat victory at the PPV when Maddisson Rayne helps them. Why have Cookie with Robbie E when you can have Rayne. Hilarious spot where there’s a small package and the giant Rob Terry sneaks into the ring and rolls them over so Devon is getting pinned.

HULK HOGAN ANNOUCEMENT (again)
He was getting ready to make a monster annoucement before he got interrupted… so Hogan gets interrupted again by Mr. Anderson. Why not have a match at the PPV. Ken Anderson vs Jeff Hardy. Again! The same match its been even back in the WWE for years and years! He introduces himself before he comes down. Uggg… Why is this guy back. There’s no room for him. Put him on Xplosion. I can tell Hogan really doesn’t want to hear from him. Hogan invites RVD to come down. So why not have a 3 way? They’re forgetting about Jeff Hardy… so far. And yep, Jeff Hardy is called down. I’d have these three guys go over in 3 singles matches, then have a 3 way at the PPV with the winner getting a title shot on Impact. He announces a three way at Slammiversary. Yep. I predict Jeff Hardy to win. Peel RVD off into a feud with Aries and Kennedy can go after Crimson.

SIX MAN TAG >> ROODE & KAZ & DANIELS vs STING & KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES
AJ left earlier… and he stayed gone, which is great. 2 on 3 match. I’d rather see 2 on 3 than waste 2 PPV matches in one. Sting comes out with some weird purple jacket. Sting now wears black with blue ring attire. He quickly puts the scorpion death lock on Daniels. A terrible death lock and Angle puts the ankle lock on KAZ. Bam that should have been the match. Victory to the faces, but then the heels should get on the mic and demand it get restarted and it would be.

I remember when Daniels had a feud with Sting. I’m not sure if they actually had a match or not. That was a few years ago. Pretty quick match, but there was a lot of energy.

PROS

  • The interest of Austin Aries vs Crimson
  • Brooke Hogan and Velvet’s announcement of being in a music video (I’m surprised its a pro)
  • Joseph Park & Bully Ray
  • Using Joey Ryan without giving him a contract

CONS

  • Crowd killing opening angle
  • Someone specific losing
  • Roode & Sting with Hogan did nothing to make me want to see them.
  • I’ve seen the same knockout’s match in tag or three way form for a year or two
  • Didn’t make me want to see Slamiversary

Everything Right with TNA Impact (05/31/12)

LUMBERJACK MATCH >> ROBERT ROODE vs STING (Great opener… that should have closed the show)
TNA likes you to know who’s on the roster, so they have episodes start with everyone on the roster. Bobby Roode gets a ‘you suck chant’. Last week I would have had his confetti rain Sting Joker cards. I can’t see this match drawing in fans. There aren’t a lot of lumberjacks around the ring. There is really zero build to this match which seems a negative.

Commentators point out Roode injured Sting… coulda swore Sting injured himself. TNA uses Twitter and Facebook visuals. Rowdy crowd in a good way. Throughout the match Roode throws out Sting a notable amount. Good strategy.

POST MATCH with HOGAN
Hogan comes out and announces Sting vs Roode at the next PPV. And the world title will now be on the line. … Tennay and Tazz announce Styles vs Daniels and fans pick Devon’s challenger. ooo and Brooke Hogan.

MADISSON RAYNE BACKSTAGE
She’s ironing her sash… she says everything will go well with Brooke Hogan.

BULLY RAY CALLS OUT JOSEPH PARK (gold)
These two are gold. Bully shows a replay of what he did to Joseph Park. Bully wants a fight right now. Joseph looks around who me? Gives the fans his stuff. The fans love it. This is a hot, energized crowd. Joseph doesn’t want to fight, so Bully calls the whole family cowards especially Abyss. Joseph jumps over and security stops him. Bully Ray has great heat. Fans are chanting fight! Joseph doesn’t want  any part of Bully Ray, so Bully says he pleads guilty! Joseph grabs him and the fans love it. Bully says if you hit me I’ll sue you. Fans chant what they want. Joseph backs off. He has class. Bully leaves, Joseph says he wants a fight right now. Bully says they’ll finally fight at Slammiversary.

CRIMSON VIDEO (good lil recap)
This was a nice video recapping his winning streak… even though he has been pinned in tag matches. Crimson then says he can’t be beat.

X-DIVISION TITLE >> AUSTIN ARIES vs CHRIS SABIN (putting over a star)
Supposedly Alex Shelley is gone from TNA so this makes sense. Austin Aries is backstage spraying his hair and he sprays Joe who is walking behind him.  This should be the best match on the show… and this is a show with Daniels and AJ. Dueling chants which is good…  Some amazing and unique moves from Aries who is the hottest thing on TNA. This match was all about Sabin taking abuse and making Aries look like gold. Some incredible offense from Sabin as well. Quite the back and forth. Tazz had no idea what Sabin’s finisher is… in fact the crowd probably didn’t know either since he’s been gone

HOGAN BACKSTAGE with TAZZ
Hogan talks about stepping up or leaving. Hogan wants Tazz for Gut Check. Tazz warns him that the real Tazz is a jerk. Tazz would be good at evaluating talent since he has run dojos and finishing schools.

BACKSTAGE with TAZZ, BRUCE PRICHARD & AL SNOW talking about JOEY RYAN
They discuss his look and his gimmick. Bruce doesn’t like his gimmick, the other two love it. I love his look. Bruce points out fans thought he was better Alex Sylvia. Indeed. Absolutely. Tazz points out that Joey Ryan didn’t look like he was gonna be in the fight of his life. Meh bad comment. He didn’t blow away Bruce even if Joey was memorable. Tazz looks like he’ll say no. Tazz doesn’t look good on a couch, he should sit forward to make him look less fat.

TV TITLE CONTENDERS (brief)
Jeff Hardy, RVD, Ken Anderson & Robbie E. 3 of these guys are too good for the belt. Jeff Hardy gets the biggest pop. This was a nice lil popularity contest.

DIXIE APPEARS (to introduce Brooke)
She says TNA will be 10 years old in 10 days. She also announces Slammiversary will have a TNA Hall of Fame induction. She then introduces Brooke Hogan who gets plenty of boos… and then cheers. She comes out to a country song. I like how Dixie has to introduce Brooke so the fans respect Dixie so they won’t boo Brooke as much.

DANIELS & KAZ BACKSTAGE
They’re miffed at Dixie not aknowledging their angle.

TV TITLE MATCH >> DEVON DUDLEY vs ???
The man that won did it with 40% of the vote. Tennay presses Tazz for his vote on Joey Ryan. Tazz doesn’t know. This match seems to be used to plug everything else going on in TNA. Dueling chants from the crowd. The crowd is still hot, but this is the coldest of the hot. Match ends like you’d expect it to. Robbie E and Rob Terry do a run in. If this will be a match at the PPV, it will be better than Devon and Garrett.

JAMES STORM VIDEO (with his daughter, horse and smell hound)
James talks about how he’s simple. Simple man wouldn’t wear those designer jeans with the holes intentionally put in. Yep looks like James is fine walking away. Must suck having cameras ask him about Roode every so often. Storm’s daughter asks if that means he’s going back to wrestling. James cuts off the cameras.

DANIELS & AJ RECAP
Ugg this feud… Capped off with the monthly Daniels vs AJ match.

GUT CHECK JUDGING with AL SNOW, TAZZ & BRUCE PRICHARD on JOEY RYAN
I still say give Joey Ryan a contract, but whatever. Joey comes out to serious music without a serious look. This music kinda makes him seem like an out of place chump. 4 men in suits standing in front of a 70s playboy pilot. He does his best Ron Burgondy  impression. Bruce even mentions Ron Burgondy. Bruce points out with Joey having 12 years in the business the verdict is no. Crimson and Gunner have 12 years. But TNA already has Aries and Aries is more serious. Al Snow doesn’t like Joey Ryan… but votes yes. Makes no sense, but whatever.

Joey cuts a good promo about how he has 87% of the fan’s vote he questions Bruce having a job. Tazz says no, because that promo sucked. Tazz isn’t a suplex machine, he’s a commentator. 2 nos. It actually seemed like 3 nos. Maybe Joey is a dick.

ROBERT ROODE VIDEO IN LONDON
He did an interview this week. Yay. Interesting outdoor backdrop of Big Ben. He’s standing at the base of Big Ben. Roode says he’s the longest running TNA champion and the fans off screen cheer him.

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs AJ STYLES
Wow a main event that promises more revealed. Time for the monthly Daniels and Styles match. I couldn’t care less. Tazz feels he has to justify himself about Joey. Tazz’s reasons don’t make sense that the character doesn’t have legs. Sure it does, he can get serious, but I guess TNA wanted him to get Aries serious and not just a stereotype.

Good match. Hot crowd. This was the match of the show. Good main event. KAZ looks a lot like Crimson now from a distance. It was very dumb of him to shave his head even if he was losing his hair. Post match beatdown. Kurt Angle saves AJ. Daniels and KAZ get their head back and use zip ties to trap Angle. The zip ties fail miserably.

Daniels has a phone conversation with Dixie. Dixie comes out and yells to turn it off! Dixie gets bleeped out.

PROS:
A hot and energized crowd
TNA is live
Arena seems bigger… maybe they are on the road?
Great opener
Bully Ray & Joseph Park
Sabin vs Aries
Putting heat on the TV title with the vote
TNA firing on all cylenders.

CONS:
Little build to Sting vs Roode
Mind numbing birth control commercials on DailyMotion