Tag Archives: 2012

Revisiting WWE’s Katie Vick Angle 10 Years Ago (and adding to it)

Katie Vick will forever be known as the necrophelia angle where wrestler Triple H found out that Kane had killed his then girlfriend Katie Vick in a car accident when he swerved to avoid an animal on the road. HHH also said that the corrinor found traces of semin in Katie Vick and wondered if it had happened before or after she was dead. Then next week they had HHH pretending to be Kane having him in a casket ontop of what looked to be a teenage manniquen. Teenage…. so it was necro-statchatory.

Anyway, to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of this terrible angle, I thought that I’d continue it.

Since the accident that took place what 25 years ago? What they failed to mention was when Kane swerved to avoid that animal and ended up in a car accident was the fact he hit another car head on killing the parents…. but leaving the baby alive in the baby seat. That baby grew up in an evil orphanage. No one wanted him because he was just too damn ugly what with all of his scars. Then one day when he went off to college, he found Youtube and heard everyone LOL at the Katie Vick angle, but he remembered the name Kane. He had researched it was a teenager named Kane that had ended the lives of his family. So now the only thing this victim has on his mind is revenge. He’s trained as a wrestler to make sure everything he does to Kane is nice and legal in the ring.

Now that WWE RAW will be 3 Hours (booking 101)

WWE RAW is going to 3 hours, which seems to make most people groan. The USA Network wants them to go to 3 hours and the WWE probably wants to compete with NFL having 3 hour games. Oh and WWE probably wants to charge fans more for tickets. My first idea is probably the easiest, keep 2 hours of RAW, but have 1 hour of Superstars before it. 2 totally different shows, so RAW won’t spread itself so thin and for the fans that need an extra hour of wrestling, its there for them. An episode of Superstars mostly consists of 5 job matches with 1 quality match on top.

IF USA NETWORK WANTS 3 HOURS OF RAW
Chances are, the network said we want 3 hours of RAW, not Tough Enough, not Superstars. Word on the street is that WWE wants to have a cruiserweight division to fill up that extra hour. WWE doesn’t even have a division for theUS, IC or tag titles. WWE can use the extra hour to air preliminary matches with low end guys. Your Brodus Clays, Heath Slaters, JTGs, Usos, Santinos and Rybacks. Next week, feed them to your mid carders like Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Christian, Cody Rhodes and so on. Then the next week feed them to your top guys or your almost top guys like Alberto Del Rio, Sheamus, and so on. It is about getting their finishers over so you know what to look for in the important matches and gaining momentum so guys go into a pay-per-view with 4 wins each month. Then at pay-per-views have top guys vs top guys. Almost top guys vs almost top guys and a few mid carders vs mid carders. That way at the pay-per-views there is no clear cut answer of who will win.

STARVE FANS OF TOP MATCHES
Starve people of matches between main eventers (but not angles or promos). Make fans pay to see top guys against one another even if its just a tag match. Don’t show top guys against one another when you could have top guys vs top guys at house shows and draw bigger numbers when fans say I want to see that match instead of meh I just saw that match on free TV or I’ve seen them in 10+ matches over the past 3 months. Daniel Bryan vs CM Punk comes to mind. They’ve had 6+ singles matches in 3 months and at Money in the Bank that will make 7+ in 4 months.

SELLING HOUSE SHOWS
With all of that being said, there is a risk that Smackdown and RAW attendance would go down if people knew they’d only see mid carders vs top guys. But I’d rather have 2 not sold out TV shows and 6 sold out house shows per week, instead of the other way around. Even if TV ratings somehow drop… the real focus is if people are buying your pay-per-views. UFC has a great model where a lot of fans don’t even watch UFC’s free TV, they just watch the pay-per-views because fans need to watch pay-per-views to see the major matches.

MAKE PREDICTABLE MATCHES INTERESTING
To make TV matches more interesting when you know there’s a clear cut winner because John Cena will always beat Jack Swagger. Sheamus will always beat Dolph Ziggler. Guys like Cena and Big Show don’t need to wrestle every week, because they’ve wrestled on WWE TV every week for 10+ years. The twist is you handicap the mega stars. Not as in 2 on 1 matches, but I mean add a gimmick here and there like if the lesser man is good at hardcore or submissions, make a hardcore or submission match. Play to the strength of the midcarder and the weakness of the top guy. You can also have it so there is a top guy as a guest referee or a guest commentator in the top guy vs midcarder match.

MOMENTUM
People say that wins and losses mean nothing and that’s true in a way. Wins are more of an angle and a way to gain momentum where you wonder when will the streak end? Or even when a champion outgrows a title and you think they have to lose it… will this be the night they lose it? It’s all about momentum and imagining how can this person lose when they’ve got such high momentum going into a pay-per-view match? Making someone wonder who will lose when they’ve both had 4 wins in the month building up to the pay-per-view. Making someone wonder whose finisher is better when you haven’t seen everyone take every finisher. That wonder of what will happen instead of we’ve seen what will happen 3x this month.

Rebooking WWE RAW (7/9/12)

So to sum up RAW, they had 6 wins and 2 matches. Wins are what happens when a match is under 3 minutes and you can’t really get invested. matches last longer and let you care about the conclusion.

WWE Title >> AJ Lee / CM Punk / Daniel Bryan Storyline
Bryan wanting to marry AJ makes more sense than AJ wanting to marry Punk. AJ writing Punk valentines, creepy poems and stuff like that makes sense and it can be more subtle and less fucking insane. However, Bryan wanting to marry her would make sense from a title standpoint.

AJ should be asking what do you want Punk? I can be what you want! Punk can say I don’t want you, I don’t want this. I dig crazy chicks, but I want to keep my title more than I want to date you…. That can still keep the illusion of not knowing who will win the title match if CM wants to keep his belt.

At least AJ makes Punk & Bryan look tall…. because John Cena doesn’t help.

When RAW started, I thought, shouldn’t Beth just appear to destroy AJ. AJ will try to talk her out of it, Beth can say…. enough talking. You’re a wrestler, not a referee. This is a referee (who then appears) and this is a match. Then destroys AJ. Daniel Bryan can run out to pick her up and carry her. AJ… AJ are you okay? What did you do to her you monster????

Pushing Tyson Kidd
Since people are buzzing about Tyson Kidd, WWE can bring up the pay-per-view from July from a decade ago…. Canadian Stampede where the Harts reigned supreme! The Harts who trained Kidd. Have his wife / fiance give him a simple good luck kiss. Show him coming up over the years…. his long rise to even get a shot at a title shot! This man had to live on spaghetti-os and wrestle in front of 50 people to wrestle in front of 10,000. Have Bret Hart smile, hit Tyson on the shoulder and say go get that title shot Kidd.

Smackdown Money in the Bank >> Tyson Kidd / Christian / Tensai / Cody Rhodes / Dolph Ziggler / Sin Cara Storyline
I want to hear Kidd Talk. WWE needs to do a lot to sell the Smackdown guys and why they should be champion. Why should I care about Ziggler when he’s FAILED on 2 dozen title shots? Why should I care about Tensai when he FAILS to beat John Cena? Tell me why Cody Rhodes is more than just the name RHODES? Tell me why I should give a damn about Santino as more than a cartoon character. Why should I care about Christian when he’s held the belt and whined about losing it for months? Why should I get behind Tyson Kidd when he only gets lucky wins and sniffs underwear? I need to know why the hell I care about any of these people. You have 1 week. Fuck you had 4 weeks and entire careers to make me care.

Heavyweight title >> Alberto Del Rio / Sheamus Storyline
If WWE wanted to gain a 1 night heat on ADR that uses a car…. have him run over Sheamus with a car in a garage. OMG he just run him over Can Sheamus defend his title in 1 week after being hit with a car???? But then again does the WWE want to waste a car angle on a match that is the 3rd from the top at the Money in the Bank pay-per-view?

Or like I’ve mentioned for the past few weeks, build up ADR over 2 or 3 weeks by breaking jobbers arms and getting tap outs. ADR breaks arms, but Sheamus is no normal man. Then stack the deck. Submission match with a champion that doesn’t really win by submission.

RAW Money in the Bank >> John Cena / Big Show / Kane / Chris Jericho Storyline
I’ve pointed out several times…. starve people of Cena, Jericho, Kane and Big Show…. instead of putting them all together. Sure that might be what the RAW fans want to see when you have them sit through shit. Promos against one another, building each of them individually. Asking wrestlers and FANS who will win? Why will they win? Ask Punk who will win and who he wants to? Make this match seem bigger than it is.

Why should I care about Cena, Big Show, Jericho and Kane? All 4 have held almost 40+ world titles between them. Is it because they’re the best???? Well if they were, they would still be holding the title. Kane should go out and destroy the …ladder so no one can win….. why? Because he should only care about a title because it will draw more victims. People want gold and I guard that gold and I want to hurt people. Why does Big Show want to be champion when he has an iron clad contract? Is there more money in it for him? Or is it to outlive the failure of losing the Smackdown belt in what 30 seconds??? Yeah that’s it. Why does Cena want it? To be champion 11 times? You’ll always remember your 11th title reign!!!!! No…. its because Punk beat him last year at the biggest event of the year. Even bigger than Mania. Punk embarassed Cena when Cena KNEW he’d hold onto that belt. Why does Jericho want it? To prove he’s the best in the world again? No because Punk beat him and he can’t sleep at night without thinking how Punk beat him. Punk beat him 3x and he wants to make Punk pay!
Cena should really be the guy getting the sole title shot against Punk. Cena has won a lot lately. Even has major PPV victories this year over Kane, Big Show…. and well took on Jericho a lil while ago.
I’d really really really have this Cena / Kane vs Show / Jericho on house shows and not the TV. Deny fans any combination of the main event of your PPV. But give the house show fans something for their money. Nope…. instead its Cena vs Big Show and Bryan & Punk vs Kane & Jericho. wtf? How does this make sense?

Since Cena is clearly the odds on favorite to win the Money in the Bank… and he’s had major feuds with all 3 of these guys over the years…. why not Cena vs 3 of them? Or why use matches to build up these 4 guys? Is it because WWE actually needs a real match on RAW?

Let’s look at the logic of the big tag match…. why should Jericho want Big Show to tag out? Wouldn’t he want everyone to get weakened? Hell wouldn’t he just leave the arena until someone said if you don’t tag in you won’t be in the Money in the Bank briefcase.

A DQ in a tag match… John Cena & Kane vs Big Show & Chris Jericho Logistically breaking up a pin should be a DQ. Just like a singles match. I never thought of it. Yeah.  Now if the ref doesn’t see it….

WWE tag division storyline… Ron Killings & Kofi Kingston vs Hunico & Camacho
Didn’t the Prime Time Players win a title shot for the tag titles at the last PPV? Why are Hunico and Camacho getting the tag title shot at the pay-per-view? Doesn’t Ron Killings have a broken foot? Does WWE actually have 4 tag teams? That’s a start.

Sin Cara & Tyson Kidd (put Kidd under a mask and call him Kidd Canada). Ryback & Ryan (Mason). Drew & Rekks. Hawkins as a buttler for Damien Sandow. Santino & Ryder or Ryder & Ricardo. Dibiase & Regal…. if one wasn’t retired and the other injured. Jinder & Khali… who cares if one is face and the other is heel.

And again just randomly put low end guys together at house shows. Find who’s awesome enough to be on TV even if you don’t have ethnic matching like a pair of blacks and a pair of mexicans. Why not an Asian with a black guy?

Heating up a dead storyline…. Michael Cole vs Jerry Lawler
Cole vs Lawler…. smells like WWE just gave up. None of our wrestlers are over enough…. go with announcers! Wasting time on this when you should be building Smackdown guys to be credible enough to win a title or at least making RAW guys credible enough to take on Punk.

Perhaps if they spent more time making people credible and less time searching for Hornswaggle and watching commentator’s wrestle there would be 75% of fans wanting to see Christian vs Cody or Kidd vs Yoshi Tatsu.

Everything Right with TNA Impact (07/05/12)

BULLY RAY PROMO on TWITTER (legal action)
Oh good… TNA has been bit by the Twitter bug. Those suck more than kajiggers… which burrow down into your skin. Bully questions Joseph Park has the pair of nuts to smack him in the face. Joseph Park comes down to the ring. The crowd is hot. Joseph gives Bully Ray a legal lesson with presidency. Abyss / Chris / Joseph Park has always had an impressive presence and even in a suit its no different. Joseph accepts the challenge with no rules. Bully Ray pulls out a paper… using the Christopher Daniels methodology of heat. It is a restraining order against Abyss.

AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE w/ HULK HOGAN (good and brief)
This was good. Aries is a fresh, good character. Hogan wants the belt tonight.

DANIELS / DIXIE RECAP w/ DIXIE BACKSTAGE
Daniels says Claire Lynch is preggers. AJ Styles is the daddy! Mu-ah-ha-ha-ha. Then Dixie is backstage with the road agents. She is asked questions by the mysterious interviewer and there is no answers.

CRIMSON vs DEVON (quick match that sets up something for someone else)
Crimson loses his streak at the last pay-per-view and disappears from TV for 3 weeks… so he gets a title shot. At least show how Crimson has been winning at house shows. Why isn’t Crimson in the BFG Series? He was undefeated for 18 months. Devon is a gatekeeper for D level talent. I have no problem with Devon in this role. It keeps him strong and gives an evaluation of lesser talent. Crimson makes one of the crappiest pin attempts ever that somehow ends up with Devon on top. Quick match thank goth.

Madison Rayne comes marching to the ring. I think she wants some chocolate. Nope its someone else she wants. I fully expected this after a few months ago. This could build to a title reign for someone.

CHRIS SABIN PROMO (a heel needs heat)
Sabin is on crutches. He has some thick sideburns. It is a horrifying shame that he injured both ACLs, one after another. This has to be extremely discouraging since he’s not a main eventer. TNA probably doesn’t pay all the bills. He needs to have another job and that’s a shame. The fans are firmly behind him.

Out comes Robert Roode. This is another guy that should quit if he had two ACL injuries… even if he is a main eventer. He gets heat by verbally running him down and saying its just like every other X-Divisioner. Roode kicks out Sabin’s crutch. It really sucks that I feel anyone else could do the same job or better than Robert Roode. Austin Aries runs in for the save.

X-DIVISION >> DAKOTA DARSOW vs FLIP CASSANOVA (Dakota couldn’t keep up his end)
Dakota Darsow is the son of Barry Darsow. Nothing wrong with that. Flip looks like Sonjay Dutt… and the first words out of Mike Tennay’s mouth are Sonjay Dutt. Some sloppy high-flying from Flip Cassady off the bat, but he makes up for it with a backflip senton butt splash. Dakota Darsow is really struggling to keep up or even maintain himself. I hope Flip wins. Darsow has a long way to go. He’s got a good look, but I don’t see X-Division from him. I see TV title division. Dakota Darsow has a bloody nose. Good little match. Dakota Darsow didn’t keep up his end of the bargain.

Flip has some of Dakota’s blood on him. Flip waits to be interviewed and gets nothing…

BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA BACKSTAGE
Brooke has a tag match with Tara. Tara calls her Boo 2x. Very quick.

GUT CHECK RECAP >> TAYLOR HENDRIX
She didn’t like that she was called not tough enough. The camera loves her and so do you fans. If only her name wasn’t Taeler Hendrix. I chose not to spell her name correctly, since she chose to say she’s a cancer survivor when she’s really a misdiagnosed. Like oh I thought I was pregnant, but it was just gas.

MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM vs BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA (match makes Tara looks good)
Next week Gail Kim gets her title shot… I thought it was this week, but whatever. It should probably be on the pay-per-view. Does anyone remember when it was Terra? Mike Tennay mentions the main event, James Storm vs Jeff Hardy. I totally forgot. This match was quicker than most TNA knockout’s matches. Short match, more of a win.

JAMES STORM LOCKDOWN RECAP w/ JEFF HARDY MATCH HYPE
James Storm recaps Lockdown then talks about Jeff Hardy. Not much here.

AJ PROMO on CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (dropping the angle)
He yells out at Christopher Daniels…. who thankfully comes out to save this segment. Don’t let AJ Styles talk about this ever. KAZ comes out with Daniels and says AJ gets junkie whores pregnant. Daniels has a martini glass… an empty one from the look of it. Christopher Daniels starts some long-winded speech and AJ just tells him to shut up. Holy shit this feud has been going on for a full year. That’s not a compliment. That’s a … let’s move on! I consider the Claire Lynch angle officially dropped by TNA.

HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE interrupted by MASKED MAN
Hogan doing an interview, gets interrupted by one of the masked men that attacked Sting a few weeks ago. He delivers a piece of paper with some carts on it. At least they mentioned the angle.

JEFF HARDY VIDEO
He’s inspired by this series since he missed last year’s series. He wants to end the selfish generation. I kind of thought Jeff Hardy lead the selfish generation what with the drugs and house explosions.

X-DIVISION >> KENNY KING vs LARS ONLY (another X-division match)
Kenny King from ROH and I think from WWE Tough Enough season 2. Good to see someone from any Tough Enough season in still in wrestling. Good match, longer and less reckless than the other match. Lars did some sort of leg trip, leg sweep that looked painful to Kenny King. Tazz said it sucked, but I think that’s how it was supposed to look… painful. I don’t have much to say about this match. I think Christie Hemmy announced Kenny as Kenny Kane.

Christie interviews Kenny King. The fans are behind him in more ways than one.

I’ve come to realize that none of TNA’s own X-Division guys has a match on TV even if they’ll get matches on the Destination X pay-per-view. Bring in new guys and have them go for the title. If anything hopefully Sonjay Dutt will get the X-Division title.

AUSTIN ARIES BEFORE THE BELL PREVIEW (good show everyone seems to love it)
I’ve seen the Before the Bell special with Austin Aries. It is full of good phrases. So many good phrases, you don’t even need to watch it, just listen for 30 minutes which 24 of it is Austin Aries talking.

KENNY KING & AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE (good rub for Kenny King)
They know each other… and they’re happy. Good rub for Kenny King who then disappears so Austin can get asked about relinquishing the belt. Yep.

BFG LEADERBOARD
James Storm > Samoa Joe > Magnus > Kurt Angle

BFG SERIES >> JAMES STORM vs JEFF HARDY (Storm sells for Hardy)
Wow this main event is starting early. It makes me think Claire the junkie slut will be the main event. Jeff Hardy comes out looking like a performance artist on coke. He shares a moment with the crowd. It must suck that Jeff Hardy is still over James Storm. Even if Hardy loses 100 times to Storm… it will still be Jeff Hardy > James Storm. There are plenty of dueling chants. There are a lot of lockups and holds… because this is the main event and they have the time. They come back from commercial and Tazz talks about how crazy it got in the commercial with a street fight on the outside… yet no video clips. It is so hilarious watching James Storm sell for Jeff Hardy, who is too weak to muscle him into selling. Like a leg trip, you see James Storm start falling before Jeff Hardy pulls him. You see the camera angles shift so viewers don’t see the miss between Jeff Hardy’s feet and Storm’s face. Now 100% of the fans are behind Jeff Hardy… who has 90% of the offense of this match. But when James Storm gets a move, Jeff Hardy sells like he’s dead for way too long. But whatever. Good match, gives fans time to get invested in the outcome.

After the match, the winner gives the loser a handshake. Good clean match.

BFG LOCATION
Mike Tennay and Tazz announce that Bound for Glory is going to Phoenix, AZ.

BACKSTAGE w/ KURT ANGLE then MR. ANDERSON
They both briefly talk about the BFG Series and Tennay plugs Mr. Anderson vs Kurt Angle. Then Brooke Tessmacher vs Gail Kim. Bully Ray vs Joseph Park.

HULK HOGAN ANGLE w/ …
This puts a lot of heat on Austin Aries. Anyway, Hogan does a good job of plugging Destination-X, Jeff Hardy, James Storm and Austin Aries. Robert Roode comes out. Robert Roode is so generic. Like he checks all the boxes that meet with a great heel… except for personality. As I’ve pointed out before the real feud seems to be Hulk Hogan & Robert Roode. Roode always has great points. I just wish it was coming from someone better. Austin Aries comes out… Austin Aries gives this match and Roode’s title heat.

lol when Austin and Roode get in each other’s faces… the fans chant for Hogan. Aries ends up holding up both belts and it looks awesome. Great job TNA. Aries gives Hogan the X-Division title and holds up the TNA world title to close the show.

Rebooking RAW (7/2/12)

So far it looks like there are only 4 matches for the Money in the Bank pay-per-view coming up. In last week’s rebooking RAW I think that I made 8 logical matches. Chances are the WWE will make 8 matches 2 will be squash matches involving Ryback and Sin Cara. WWE RAW didn’t give me much to work with what with all of its 3 minute matches.

MONEY IN THE BANK >> KIDD vs DOLPH vs SANTINO vs TENSAI vs CHRISTIAN vs CODY vs DAMIEN
I think booking the main event money in the bank match is a lot tougher than the Smackdown one. The Smackdown one is a place to showcase new talent and Smackdown should be the place to plug their money in the bank match (even if this is rebooking RAW). Have them explain why they want the title or why they feel they will be the next champion. Damien Sandow can talk, Christian can do his promo with the peeps, Cody can laugh, Santino can be in comedy training vignettes… Tensai can be in a video drinking tea and destroying jobbers in the gym, Dolph can tell his manager to shut up… he wants to talk, and Kidd can go out be wreckless. You can even have sit down interviews with each one to talk with them for real-sies explaining why they got in the business, their sufferage and why they stuck with it to one day be at the top of the WWE. Don’t ask Damien or Santino. They’re not real characters or have them do it in character. Then you continue them all having singles wins building up to the pay-per-view. I have a feeling WWE will throw them into an 8 man tag.

MONEY IN THE BANK >> CENA vs JERICHO vs BIG SHOW vs KANE STORYLINE
But with the main event money in the bank its a lot tougher with 50+ years of WWE experience. I’m not sure anyone has the desire to see any of them to be champion again so much as be a stepping stone for Punk. I say starve fans of interaction between the four of them. Ask wrestlers and fans at live events, who will win. Even ask CM Punk who he thinks will win since a fighting champion doesn’t care who will win. Make it like a larger than life dream match instead of a stepping stone for men who have climbed Mt. Everest. They literally do not need any matches to build them up, they are the top guys, the guys you should be paying to see and if you don’t agree with people paying to see them, the WWE has failed over the past decade.

DANIEL BRYAN / CM PUNK / AJ LEE STORYLINE
Legend has it that AJ Lee will be the guest referee… Daniel Bryan should suddenly find himself appologizing to her. Roses. He misses her. Aw Daniel you’re so sweet. I don’t like sweet. He can either then pull her hair or intimidate her then. I win at the PPV. AJ can tell them… the best man will win. Then at the PPV Punk can put Bryan in the anaconda vice and AJ can be oblivious to Bryan tapping. That’s either an… I want Bryan to win or I hate Bryan and want him to suffer thing.

DANIEL BYRAN / CM PUNK / AJ LEE / KANE STORYLINE
WWE RAW saw Daniel Bryan & Jericho vs Cena & Punk. That’s a great match on paper, but WWE should be starving you of Bryan and Punk, since we’ve seen them in singles matches 6+ times in 3 months. Punk is also the same guy who has been in a drinking angle and stuck in an AJ Lee storyline since this year started.

If WWE RAW was a movie AJ would be brushing her hair, Punk would come in. She’d try to kiss him, he’d say no She’d take her brush break the mirror. Yell at him. She’d then cut herself once and say you will love me! He can say no put that down …okay? She’d cut herself, wince in pain, tear up say it again, why don’t you love me? He’d explain then she’d cut again until he finally kissed her and she’d cry and they’d go find an EMT … together. Then she’d become his project to fix.

Then…. Daniel Bryan can get on Punk’s case. Why did he let her do that? You’re a man, you could have stopped her! You just had to give in and kiss her and she wouldn’t have done that. It’s your fault she did that. Then later Kane can stop by the ambulance / EMTs and tell them take a walk. Then Kane can say those cuts hurt don’t they… she says yeah… then he says good… then walks away laughing.

It can still be PG… just don’t show what she does with the mirror. Its not in view of the camera. Just show their upper halves. Then a week later Kane can call out AJ and ask how she’s healing if she’s scarred… like him. Join him and together they can be a pair of freaks.

Kane will keep talking… I’ve realized you and I are exactly alike. We’re both unwanted. Neither Daniel or Punk want you. Neither did I. We both like pain… Take my hand AJ and I’ll bring pain to everyone that brought it to us. Through their pain and suffering, I’ll make you feel better. They walk off hand in hand or someone will stop them asking did that just happen? and Kane will chokeslam that person.

HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE >> SHEAMUS vs ALBERTO DEL RIO STORYLINE
Since Sheamus doesn’t have any on screen friends, ADR needs to start breaking arms in and out of the ring. Zack Ryder, Sin Cara, Santino, Ted Dibiase, Drew McIntyre, heels, faces, it doesn’t matter, start breaking them 2 in each show. Until finally ADR puts the cross arm breaker on a woman, let’s say Alicia Fox. Then Sheamus appears, ADR bolts, then distracts him for Ricardo, but Sheamus no sells and puts out Ricardo. ADR can cut a final promo about the arms he’s broken and how will Sheamus lift his title… with a broken arm. ADR was an Olympic wrestler, drives beautiful cars and gets beautiful women. Sheamus is a bar brawler, drives a pinto and gets the fattest women of Ireland. That is why Sheamus is so strong from sweeping those porkers off their feet. #porklover

IN CONCLUSION
With all of this being said, I think my last rebooking RAW was better, because it lead to better matches.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (6/28/12)

AJ STYLES & DIXIE CARTER BACKSTAGE (brief)
Another brief backstage thing with AJ saying he’s gonna beat up Daniels and Kazarian. At least this was quick and painless compared to Derrek Bateman backstage at NXT. I still feel that TNA can salvage the Clare Lynch / AJ / Dixie / Daniels / KAZ storyline and you can read about it here… (http://wp.me/p1Prve-j9)

BFG >> MR. ANDERSON vs RVD (surprisingly good … maybe because it wasn’t bad)
Mr. Anderson looks at the mic too long. He talks too long. Do we have any assholes in the building tonight. Yayyyy he’s swearing He swore! Let’s cheer him. He hails from Green Bay Wisconsin. As a Chicagoan… you shouldn’t be proud of that, but whatever. Tennay runs down Mr. Anderson winning 2 points at a TNA live event for a time limit draw. When TNA goes to a commercial they need to throw up the wins / losses in a round robin graph.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. As of last year… I never want to see this match again. Tennay mentions that there is now a 15 minute time limit. I’d rather have a 10 minute time limit, but whatever. RVD does an Indian death lock and Anderson crawls out of it which made it very awkward for RVD. RVD has some good submissions and Anderson has some legitimate fight out of the submissions. Looked good. Over the past few months Anderson has gotten better… and this comment comes from someone that doesn’t like him. RVD has some very beautiful moves and submissions.

The crowd stays hot for this match and that’s what’s really important. This was a good little match and it was the right amount of time for me to get into it and actually care, which is something I couldn’t say about any match last week. James Storm > Samoa Joe > Kurt Angle > Mr Anderson > RVD so far in the BFG Series

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO (good, not gold)
TNA shows that someone else is coming to the ring. They play his music and I have no idea who’s coming to the ring… then they reveal its Austin Aries. Oh yeah. I have no idea what his entrance looks like and I watch every week.

Aries explains his choice last week to sacrifice the belt… that would be something good for the Sacrifice PPV. He also explains that the X-Division will have a tournament at Destination X to determine the new title. Good. That was my idea last year, along the lines of the Super Junior tournament in Japan.

Robert Roode comes down. He looks like an accountant. Austin Aries looks like a magician, but I’d rather pay to see a magician than pay to see an accountant. Robert Roode says that he’s made the belt worth something. See I disagree. He needs more clean wins. Austin Aries has had good clean wins. Roode points out the BFG series will have 12 men fighting for a chance at the title. Well Aries should point out that the X-Division will have a tournament. Robert Roode brings up Hulk Hogan. Makes me think the real feud here is Hogan vs Roode not Roode vs Storm or even the man he’s standing with.

Aries heats things up when he dares Roode to take him out of his rings. The crowd is hot. They get read, then Roode bails. Aries should have jumped at him when Roode bailed.

CLARE LYNCH RECAP / CLARE LYNCH BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW w/ DIXIE (terrible)
Terrible stuff. Their backstage interviewer is no longer Jason Hervy. The interviewer asks her how she met Dixie. Oh through a party at Dixie’s. Uggg. Terrible.

DANIELS & KAZ BACKSTAGE
They argue. Too brief to be good or bad.

X-DIVISION QUALIFIER >> SONJAY DUTT vs RUBIX (2 guys thrown out there cold fire up the crowd)
Dutt is back! At least for a month. He’s been in TNA’s other promotion Ring Ka King in India. I’ve heard of Rubix. This should be highly entertaining. Hopefully they can rekindle the X-Division now that its dead. But how rekindled can it be when TNA has the Bound for Glory Series? Rubix has a great look. He’s crisp and very quick. Sonjay himself is a great pro and always has been. Its great when 2 guys who haven’t been in the company or in the company for 2+ years can come in and fire up the crowd like this with no introduction. A sick backflip double stomp finisher. Clean victory. Good stuff even if it was quick. The fans are firmly behind the winner. The winner is stopped by Christy Hemme and he says says he’s never been TNA X-Division championship, so that’s his goal.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX EVALUATION
Tazz, Al Snow & Bruch Prichard backstage in the trailer to talk. Its in pure work mode. They question if she’s green or game ready. I think she’s ready with a lot of growth potential. Tazz hates when people come in with a sense of entitlement… and Taylor doesn’t have that. Bruce questions if they’ll buy a PPV because she’s on it. Truth be told so many people have found my reviews of TNA Impact because of Taylor Hendrix. Yes. She is a draw. A skinny chick with big implants. She’s a draw. Plus she’s fresher than 9/10ths of the knockouts.

BFG >> SAMOA JOE vs BULLY RAY (hard hitting and heavy lifting)
It astounds me how TNA can throw guys out cold or spend years making them lose, yet the crowd is always hot for them. This match should be awesome and at some point I would have paid for it. The crowd even knows its awesome before it happens. They’re soaking it in before they wrestle. Fans are heavy chanting through the match. This match is as you’d expect…. hard hitting and heavy lifting. What’s strange and good is Bully Ray is working the arm. Bully Ray even does a running frog splash. Toward the end of the match Joseph Park runs to the ring, Bully Ray puts his hands on Joseph who then slaps him hard. The crowd explodes.

JOSEPH PARK PROMO (good stuff)
After the match, Joseph says he’s been bullied all his life. So he challenges Bully tonight! Now he says in 2 weeks from tonight. What? Oh well 2 weeks Bully vs Joseph Park.

DIXIE & CLARE BACKSTAGE (bad)
Dixie explains all. Wow this is done in such a sterile environment to keep the fans out of it. Dixie explains Christopher Daniels twisted the facts. Daniels caught Dixie and AJ Styles planning a surprise birthday party for Dixie’s husband Serge.

KAZ & HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE (bad and dumb)
LOL wow KAZ is backpedaling. He wants to bail on Daniels. Again they can really salvage this angle if Daniels comes out and says that AJ & Dixie are lying. This woman Clare Lynch is a serrogate mother holding Dixie’s fertilized egg with AJ’s sperm. Go further not pull back. Or hell just drop it like the Sting and three masked men angle. I wanted KAZ to stay face or go heel. Not both.

MADISON RAYNE & GARRETT BISCHOFF BACKSTAGE (quick)
Garrett is wearing a bowling shirt. Madison Rayne has this crush… so she’s wondering ‘what’s he like?’ I bet its Robbie E.

2 BROOKES & 1 GAIL (the rematch is set)
Brooke Hogan tells Brooke Tessmacher that she’s the new Direct Auto spokesperson. Gail Kim arrives and it gets interesting without getting bad. Gail wants her rematch. Hogan… Brooke Hogan tells her next week she gets a rematch.

X-DIVISION QUALIFIER >> RASHAAD CAMERON vs MASON ANDREWS (high octane recklessness)
Cameron has a great look, black guy with a fro and colorful tights. He looks different. He doesn’t feel like an X-Division guy. Mason Andrews has a spring in his step. The crowd is less hot for this match. There are plenty of ooos and ahhhs. Mason has some great areal work and almost kills himself corkscrewing not high enough over the top rope to the outside. Rashaad isn’t the best worker and neither is Mason. Rashaad seems to be safer like he works a main event style while Rashaad works an X division style. Mason Andrews looks very bland even if his moves are totally flashy. Maybe he needs a mask. The fans chant this is awesome at some sloppy work. Quick match and that’s okay. The winner says that the fans know they’re looking at the next X-Division champion! Good. The fans boo him. Even better!

HULK HOGAN & JAMES STORM BACKSTAGE w/ JEFF HARDY (how’s everybody)
James Storm asks about Sting. Hogan asks about James. Hogan says next week Storm vs Jeff Hardy. This was quick and you know what’s next week. TNA is fun right now. They give you stuff to look forward to. They’re building to things and they’re using matches to prove the best.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX DECISION (the interruption)
I say she gets it, but who knows. Tazz, Al Snow and Bruce Prichard make the decision. Taylor this is a beauty pageant, make sure to wave like a queen. Tazz says… what the fans say. Al Snow says… There’s someone in the crowd… and its Joey Ryan with a sign. Awesome. He should get dragged away by security. Joey is challenging Tazz and bang there’s security. Live television. Al Snow says something. Leaving one final man to tie break! Taylor is force to cut a promo. Good promo, bad delivery. Sounded whinny, forced and not real. Bruce Prichard says he doesn’t think she’s mean enough. Huh? Whatever. Tara is mean enough and she doesn’t go anywhere. She’s the sympathetic babyface. Oh and for the dozens of people writing me in wonder, she had been misdiagnosed with cancer. She’s not a survivor.

KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (an announcement)
AJ announces that he and Daniels have a last man standing match at Destination X. Should be good…. if we didn’t see it every month for the past 4+ months.

TAG TITLES >> KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES vs CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZ
So from this show we’ve learned KAZ doesn’t want to be with Daniels. Clare Lynch and Dixie Carter are ringside watching. At the last pay-per-view this was the match of the show if not TNA’s 2012.

This really tells the story of KAZ turning on Daniels. When Angle tries to suplex Daniels and Daniels hangs onto KAZ, KAZ hits Daniels to get him to let go so Angle can suplex him. Then KAZ turns on Daniels and gives him to AJ Styles. Good little match, but not the same…

DANIELS DECLARES AJ IS THE FATHER!

My Fresh Game Modes for WWE games

I wrote a previous article with 3 fresh WWE games. Now I’d like to think outside the box while still thinking in the realm of video games. (https://workmancer.wordpress.com/2012/06/12/3-fresh-ideas-for-wwe-video-games/) Here are my ideas for new online modes for the next WWE games.

CAPTURE THE RING (KING OF THE HILL)
Let’s pretend the WWE still has a brand split with Smackdown and RAW superstars. Two teams of 12 compete against one another to own the ring. 12 Smackdown guys, 12 RAW guys compete spawning in their own locker room and making their way to the ring. The object is to have the ring controled by your brand for a certain amount of time. When someone is pinned or KOed, they are out and respawn in their locker room after a few seconds. This keeps everyone in the game. There are plenty of games with King of the Hill modes.

ARENA ASSAULT
This is the same idea as the first, but you need to control the entire arena. You can have your group of 12 take over one section at a time, or sent 3 wrestlers to each section. Brand teams must control each section for a moment in order to consider it their territory.

CAPTURE THE TITLE / CAPTURE THE CASE
Since each brand has a main title, I say make teams of 12 vs 12 where you spawn in your locker room and need to make your way to your opponents locker room to steal their title or briefcase. When you are pinned or KOed you just respawn in your locker room, that way everyone stays playing. You can then pick another wrestler. Not just that, but you can break it up where there can be a top tier title with top members of the WWE roster and the bottom titles with lower members of the roster. That way you can break up the rosters into 4. High end RAW & Smackdown and low end RAW & Smackdown. Heck, the object can even be to pin the champion hidden in their locker room or the ring and then the winner needs to make it back to his home locker room with the belt. Randomly assign a champion. If that person is pinned by the opposing brand / roster, that person becomes the champion. But the object is still to get the title back to your locker room from the other brand.

THE STREAK
A series of one on one matches where you keep going until you are defeated and the system would be smart enough to pair you against other people in their streak mode. So chances are someone will get a streak of 4 or 40 and pair you with someone on a streak of 4 or 40.

SURVIVAL MODE
Like the never ending royal rumble from No Mercy, its Survival Mode… but online. Two people start the elimination style match and the rest of the players get put into a cue of never ending wrestlers that just keep adding. There is no end… you get elimanated then get sent to the back of the line of online players. You see how many eliminations you can get.

That wraps up my take on most of the popular modes with a wrestling twist.