Tag Archives: Madison Rayne

Everything Right with TNA Impact (07/05/12)

BULLY RAY PROMO on TWITTER (legal action)
Oh good… TNA has been bit by the Twitter bug. Those suck more than kajiggers… which burrow down into your skin. Bully questions Joseph Park has the pair of nuts to smack him in the face. Joseph Park comes down to the ring. The crowd is hot. Joseph gives Bully Ray a legal lesson with presidency. Abyss / Chris / Joseph Park has always had an impressive presence and even in a suit its no different. Joseph accepts the challenge with no rules. Bully Ray pulls out a paper… using the Christopher Daniels methodology of heat. It is a restraining order against Abyss.

AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE w/ HULK HOGAN (good and brief)
This was good. Aries is a fresh, good character. Hogan wants the belt tonight.

DANIELS / DIXIE RECAP w/ DIXIE BACKSTAGE
Daniels says Claire Lynch is preggers. AJ Styles is the daddy! Mu-ah-ha-ha-ha. Then Dixie is backstage with the road agents. She is asked questions by the mysterious interviewer and there is no answers.

CRIMSON vs DEVON (quick match that sets up something for someone else)
Crimson loses his streak at the last pay-per-view and disappears from TV for 3 weeks… so he gets a title shot. At least show how Crimson has been winning at house shows. Why isn’t Crimson in the BFG Series? He was undefeated for 18 months. Devon is a gatekeeper for D level talent. I have no problem with Devon in this role. It keeps him strong and gives an evaluation of lesser talent. Crimson makes one of the crappiest pin attempts ever that somehow ends up with Devon on top. Quick match thank goth.

Madison Rayne comes marching to the ring. I think she wants some chocolate. Nope its someone else she wants. I fully expected this after a few months ago. This could build to a title reign for someone.

CHRIS SABIN PROMO (a heel needs heat)
Sabin is on crutches. He has some thick sideburns. It is a horrifying shame that he injured both ACLs, one after another. This has to be extremely discouraging since he’s not a main eventer. TNA probably doesn’t pay all the bills. He needs to have another job and that’s a shame. The fans are firmly behind him.

Out comes Robert Roode. This is another guy that should quit if he had two ACL injuries… even if he is a main eventer. He gets heat by verbally running him down and saying its just like every other X-Divisioner. Roode kicks out Sabin’s crutch. It really sucks that I feel anyone else could do the same job or better than Robert Roode. Austin Aries runs in for the save.

X-DIVISION >> DAKOTA DARSOW vs FLIP CASSANOVA (Dakota couldn’t keep up his end)
Dakota Darsow is the son of Barry Darsow. Nothing wrong with that. Flip looks like Sonjay Dutt… and the first words out of Mike Tennay’s mouth are Sonjay Dutt. Some sloppy high-flying from Flip Cassady off the bat, but he makes up for it with a backflip senton butt splash. Dakota Darsow is really struggling to keep up or even maintain himself. I hope Flip wins. Darsow has a long way to go. He’s got a good look, but I don’t see X-Division from him. I see TV title division. Dakota Darsow has a bloody nose. Good little match. Dakota Darsow didn’t keep up his end of the bargain.

Flip has some of Dakota’s blood on him. Flip waits to be interviewed and gets nothing…

BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA BACKSTAGE
Brooke has a tag match with Tara. Tara calls her Boo 2x. Very quick.

GUT CHECK RECAP >> TAYLOR HENDRIX
She didn’t like that she was called not tough enough. The camera loves her and so do you fans. If only her name wasn’t Taeler Hendrix. I chose not to spell her name correctly, since she chose to say she’s a cancer survivor when she’s really a misdiagnosed. Like oh I thought I was pregnant, but it was just gas.

MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM vs BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA (match makes Tara looks good)
Next week Gail Kim gets her title shot… I thought it was this week, but whatever. It should probably be on the pay-per-view. Does anyone remember when it was Terra? Mike Tennay mentions the main event, James Storm vs Jeff Hardy. I totally forgot. This match was quicker than most TNA knockout’s matches. Short match, more of a win.

JAMES STORM LOCKDOWN RECAP w/ JEFF HARDY MATCH HYPE
James Storm recaps Lockdown then talks about Jeff Hardy. Not much here.

AJ PROMO on CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (dropping the angle)
He yells out at Christopher Daniels…. who thankfully comes out to save this segment. Don’t let AJ Styles talk about this ever. KAZ comes out with Daniels and says AJ gets junkie whores pregnant. Daniels has a martini glass… an empty one from the look of it. Christopher Daniels starts some long-winded speech and AJ just tells him to shut up. Holy shit this feud has been going on for a full year. That’s not a compliment. That’s a … let’s move on! I consider the Claire Lynch angle officially dropped by TNA.

HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE interrupted by MASKED MAN
Hogan doing an interview, gets interrupted by one of the masked men that attacked Sting a few weeks ago. He delivers a piece of paper with some carts on it. At least they mentioned the angle.

JEFF HARDY VIDEO
He’s inspired by this series since he missed last year’s series. He wants to end the selfish generation. I kind of thought Jeff Hardy lead the selfish generation what with the drugs and house explosions.

X-DIVISION >> KENNY KING vs LARS ONLY (another X-division match)
Kenny King from ROH and I think from WWE Tough Enough season 2. Good to see someone from any Tough Enough season in still in wrestling. Good match, longer and less reckless than the other match. Lars did some sort of leg trip, leg sweep that looked painful to Kenny King. Tazz said it sucked, but I think that’s how it was supposed to look… painful. I don’t have much to say about this match. I think Christie Hemmy announced Kenny as Kenny Kane.

Christie interviews Kenny King. The fans are behind him in more ways than one.

I’ve come to realize that none of TNA’s own X-Division guys has a match on TV even if they’ll get matches on the Destination X pay-per-view. Bring in new guys and have them go for the title. If anything hopefully Sonjay Dutt will get the X-Division title.

AUSTIN ARIES BEFORE THE BELL PREVIEW (good show everyone seems to love it)
I’ve seen the Before the Bell special with Austin Aries. It is full of good phrases. So many good phrases, you don’t even need to watch it, just listen for 30 minutes which 24 of it is Austin Aries talking.

KENNY KING & AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE (good rub for Kenny King)
They know each other… and they’re happy. Good rub for Kenny King who then disappears so Austin can get asked about relinquishing the belt. Yep.

BFG LEADERBOARD
James Storm > Samoa Joe > Magnus > Kurt Angle

BFG SERIES >> JAMES STORM vs JEFF HARDY (Storm sells for Hardy)
Wow this main event is starting early. It makes me think Claire the junkie slut will be the main event. Jeff Hardy comes out looking like a performance artist on coke. He shares a moment with the crowd. It must suck that Jeff Hardy is still over James Storm. Even if Hardy loses 100 times to Storm… it will still be Jeff Hardy > James Storm. There are plenty of dueling chants. There are a lot of lockups and holds… because this is the main event and they have the time. They come back from commercial and Tazz talks about how crazy it got in the commercial with a street fight on the outside… yet no video clips. It is so hilarious watching James Storm sell for Jeff Hardy, who is too weak to muscle him into selling. Like a leg trip, you see James Storm start falling before Jeff Hardy pulls him. You see the camera angles shift so viewers don’t see the miss between Jeff Hardy’s feet and Storm’s face. Now 100% of the fans are behind Jeff Hardy… who has 90% of the offense of this match. But when James Storm gets a move, Jeff Hardy sells like he’s dead for way too long. But whatever. Good match, gives fans time to get invested in the outcome.

After the match, the winner gives the loser a handshake. Good clean match.

BFG LOCATION
Mike Tennay and Tazz announce that Bound for Glory is going to Phoenix, AZ.

BACKSTAGE w/ KURT ANGLE then MR. ANDERSON
They both briefly talk about the BFG Series and Tennay plugs Mr. Anderson vs Kurt Angle. Then Brooke Tessmacher vs Gail Kim. Bully Ray vs Joseph Park.

HULK HOGAN ANGLE w/ …
This puts a lot of heat on Austin Aries. Anyway, Hogan does a good job of plugging Destination-X, Jeff Hardy, James Storm and Austin Aries. Robert Roode comes out. Robert Roode is so generic. Like he checks all the boxes that meet with a great heel… except for personality. As I’ve pointed out before the real feud seems to be Hulk Hogan & Robert Roode. Roode always has great points. I just wish it was coming from someone better. Austin Aries comes out… Austin Aries gives this match and Roode’s title heat.

lol when Austin and Roode get in each other’s faces… the fans chant for Hogan. Aries ends up holding up both belts and it looks awesome. Great job TNA. Aries gives Hogan the X-Division title and holds up the TNA world title to close the show.

Everything Right with TNA Impact (06/14/12)

JAMES STORM VIDEO OPENING (thank god its not Robert Roode)
Very good to say he’s back. Makes him a star. Especially good because he’s not Robert Roode. Brief recap from the past two months.

X-DIVISION TITLE ULTIMATE X >> ARIES vs SABIN vs ZIMA ION (great, hot opener)
On paper this looks awesome, should be an awesome opener. It shouldn’t be thrown out there cold like this, but X-Division matches don’t need any preface, they should get over because they’re X-Division. If Aries were to lose this would be a good opportunity to drop the belt and move up the card. Of course you could also move the X-Division up the card. The fans are quiet because they’re paying attention and popping for offense with a few chants. Thank goth Robert Roode didn’t start the show. He kills all energy. The TNA ring looks bigger. Tazz and Tennay announce that the BFG series is back, which is great if done correctly. BFG Series should be a round robin style tournament instead of tags or three ways.

This match was great, made Aries look like a star as always. He is a clear cut star. This made him look like an incredible star in only five minutes. Unfortunately the other two didn’t shine as bright. TNA gives the winner a little time to shine after the match. Chris Sabin looks to have injured his knee. If that’s true, that’s horrible.

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO (white hot)
Aries talks about how a year ago he walked in and beat everyone. That is absolutely true. Aries wants to move up, he wants to be higher. Enter Hulk Hogan. Aries can become a giant in the BFG series. He can be a huge star in Destination X and main event it against AJ Styles. Hogan says he hears all the hoopla. Aries should be the man in the main event like AJ Styles should have been five years ago. Aries can carry the company and have five star matches with heat with anyone. The crowd is very hot for this segment. Aries wants in the main event. Hogan makes a match for Destination X. Aries vs Bobby Roode. But only if Aries gives up the title. Aries should give up the title. Hell he should get the TNA top title. However, its too early. There’s zero chase, especially now that James Storm is back. Aries should win the BFG Series… and still give up the belt. Not now but in 3 months. Defend the belt against AJ as the main event of Destination X.

SLAMMIVERSY MOMENT w/ DIXIE CARTER (too short)
TNA shows a recap of Slammiversary. Its great for making the company look bigger. Then it just cuts off.

JOSEPH PARKS EATING BACKSTAGE interrupted by BULLY RAY (too brief to be gold)
Bully wonders where Abyss is. Funny how its gone 180. Now Bully Ray wants Abyss. This was kept short, but eh. Not gold.

TV TITLE >>DEVONvs HERNANDEZ (makes sense)
You know it makes sense… Hernandez won a match, so he gets a title shot. Brilliant. I feel Hernandez can be better utilized as mega face forMexico. He can throw around guys and be the pride ofMexico… even if he’s a Texan. SuperMex kicks off the match with a running body press over the top to the outside. Crowd is hot, probably hotter than they were for the opening match. WithDevon’s track record of people interfering in his matches… You’d expect that with this… but no.

DIXIE & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (brief)
AJ can’t do this anymore… He wants to get it out in the open. Bet it’s a surprise party or something for Serge.

BFG SERIES ROYAL RUMBLE >> AJ / RVD / JOE / BULLY RAY / MAGNUS / ANGLE / STORM / POPE / HARDY / ROBBIE E / DANIELS (good stuff)
The winner gets 20 points in the BFG Series. I have no problem with something special like that when they’re all involved as long as everyone is in it and everyone has an even number of matches. So this was done Royal Rumble style where a new person enters every 90 seconds. It starts with the biggest stars before it works down the ladder. The Pope DiAngelo DiNero appears for the first time in half a year. Abyss appears, but he’s not in it. AJ Styles and Kurt Angle don’t wear their belts. Huge chants throughout a lot of the match. So far this might be the hottest match on the show. Good finish, the winner looks like the star and the loser looks like he’ll get revenge

JAMES STORM PROMO (crowd goes nuts and they’re firmly behind Storm)
Mega chants for this guy. Crowd wants to hear what he says and pop for the things he says. See it sucks that Aries will lose at the next PPV and end up without a belt when the main event story arc is setup for James Storm to win it after he wins the BFG Series. Anyway, James Storm is back in a big way. The crowd goes nuts.

ROBERT ROODE BACKSTAGE (meh)
They’ve got a new TMZ interviewer. The voice is different. This segment was pretty much to let you know he’s on the card.

AJ STYLES & KURT ANGLE BACKSTAGE
Kurt is angry with AJ for messing up and yells at him to clear his head of theDixie stuff. Angle has an intensity in a good way. AJ promises to get focused.

BROOKE TESSMACHER vs MADISON RAYNE (an ok match)
It’s shocking to think TNA has turned a corner and everyone is mega over to their crowd. This match seems to be the downer for the crowd. They’re still paying attention and into it, but quiet. But when Tessmacher yells to the crowd they respond big. Nothing wrong with this match. Can’t say it made Brooke look like a star.

BROOKE HOGAN BACKSTAGE w/ GAIL KIM
Brooke wants Open Fight Night with a 4 way Knockouts title. I didn’t think Open Fight was for another 2 weeks. Eh whatever. This was an OK segment, nothing notably wrong or right.

MR. ANDERSON BACKSTAGE
Hey he’s got dark hair and not blonde. He looks like a totally different guy. Very brief 10 seconds.

TNA TITLE >> ROBERT ROODE vs MR ANDERSON (good psychology)
Thank goth Anderson hasn’t really talked this episode. He doesn’t even introduce himself. Good. Strip him of talking and he’s totally fine and he’s been improving in the past few months in the ring. The match starts with 30 minutes left on the show, which normally means a 20 minute angle at the end of the show and yep they still have the AJ & Dixie thing. This episode was very quick with what felt like a lot of wrestling.

I have no interest in this match even if they’ve built a 2 month history with them. It just doesn’t feel like the main event, especially because its not. One good thing I do have to say about this match is that it’s a good fight. Like its not easy for them to do things. It’s a competition for headlocks. Like a struggle. And that’s good. Great victory.

DIXIE & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (again)
They say the same thing, but this time they hug.

IMPACT RECAP (a great idea)
This was good, because it showed everything you may have forgotten keeping it fresh in your mind. Other shows do this and even Internet top 10 lists recap the previous 9 before the #1.

STING VIDEO (made Sting look big)
Sting is the first wrestler to make it to TNA’s Hall of Fame. Sure it’s a joke right now, but in 10 years from now it will be prestigious. Plenty of backstage interview clips putting over Sting’s importance. Good. It made Sting look big. Monumental.

STING SPEECH (and what happens)
Don’t focus on his loss to Robert Roode. Focus on how awesome Sting is! Sting’s face paint looks like a gothic circus clown. The fans chant for Sting. Sting knows there are other people that deserve the honor like the Jarretts. Three masked men attack Sting! Big masked men. They get major heel heat. The fans chant for Hogan. I think the masks are Smoke from Mortal Kombat.

PROS

  • Hot Opener
  • Austin Aries looked like a star
  • Aries & Hogan interaction
  • Hernandez getting a win before his TV title shot
  • Devonis strong
  • Hot Royal Rumble match
  • Joe in the rumble
  • Daniels in the rumble taking out 2 people
  • James Storm is mega over
  • Angle wanting AJ to get his head in the game.
    No talking from Mr Anderson and Robert Roode.
  • It felt like there was a lot of wrestling.
  • Main event match victory
  • Recap of the show just before the main event angle.
  • The main event angle

CONS

  • Too much too soon for Austin Aries when he will get stopped by Roode

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should have been) (in my mind) (05/25/12)

HOGAN BACKSTAGE with AJ STYLES / KURT ANGLE / JEFF HARDY / BULLY RAY (kicking off with Celebrity Apprentice)
Hulk Hogan shows Bully Ray, AJ Stylez, Kurt Angle and someone else the format sheet for TNA Impact. What a horrible segment. This was just a psudo reality show with backstage drama. Very stupid, counter productive. I’m sure that soap operas and legitimate sports don’t show behind the scenes with a fake reality show. Kurt Angle questions the value of Robert Roode to being the longest running champion. AJ Styles questions a gold medal. Angle says he’s won more titles, Bully Ray says more singles titles. Bully has won more gold, but not single, but its a singles match.

Bully wonders why he needs to convince Hogan. He’s worked 20 years and he’s the most legit guy, old school wrestler. And that’s true… if Angle wasn’t in the room.

This felt like a rip off of Celebrity Apprentice only a few were sitting others were standing. They all bring forth interesting and good points. Jeff Hardy looks crazy he says nothing but then he says let the fans decide.

Nothing is decided… Lovely.

GAIL KIM PROMO with MADDISSON RAYNE (bad voice, good promo)
Gail is the most dominent Knockout’s champion. She says she built the division and she is the divisiion. Meanwhile Rayne does her makeup in the background while the rest of the locker room looks on from the back looking like chumps. Gail challenges ODB & Eric Young.

ODB & ERIC YOUNG vs GAIL KIM & RAYNE (Gail screams and man on woman violence)
Eric Young has new music? Or did I just notice this now. The Knockouts Tag Titles aren’t needed, but hey it gives a purpose for Eric Young and ODB to be seen. They don’t need to be seen. Just do pre-tapes of their life together and keep it brief. Gail screams… a lot. Reminds me of Trish Stratus selling. Scream. Scream. Louder scream. WCW would have given her this as her gimmick.

Eric & ODB fake out a double elbow drop, but Eric can’t elbow drop a woman due to Spike TV’s non violence against women. I wonder if movies on Spike TV have men hitting women.

The crowd is firmly behind ODB & Eric Young. There is a new camera shot from overhead that looked interesting. Shockingly Eric Young gives two hip tosses to women and two slams to women. Shouldn’t Spike TV be throwing a fit over this? I can’t believe fans didn’t care and saw it as a simple slam and not OMG he finally slammed a woman.

TNA SALUTES VETERANS
Mr. Anderson, Crimson, and Gunner. Hey tie this in with a TNA shopzone commercial. I don’t mind it. This was good and kills two birds with one stone.

HOGAN BACKSTAGE on the phone
Hints at someone coming.

RVD vs GUNNER (no build)
RVD has a black eye. He looks terrible. RVD challenges Gunner. Gunner should go over… but that’s not how it works when a face needs momentum off of 2 losses. RVD should go over, but I think in a company with short matches, someone like Gunner should go over until there are longer matches where RVD would be prime to go over.

Gunner should be telling RVD that I put you on the shelf for 3 months and you want to challenge me?

TV TITLE >> DEVON vs ERIC BISCHOFF (no match)
This match had one week build to it which is better than none. Devon is the experienced pro that will be the gatekeeper. He the fans want tables badly. I think that’s a subtle hate of Garrett. Robbie E & Rob Terry run in. A tag match is obvious.

HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE with CONTENDERS (yawn)
Yawn. I had no interest. Hogan eliminates someone. Now there are 2.

JOSEPH PARK RECAP
I love the Joseph Park recaps… because TNA faked a newscast that starts the recap.

BULLY RAY PROMO on the crowd (gold)
Bully takes his sweet time getting out there. Bully gets in the face of some hot chick in the front row that totally no sells any intimidation. ECW would have called her a skank and has security pull them apart. The commentators are worried about what Bully will do when TNA goes live next week. Bully Ray mentions Joseph Park in the crowd. There he is with popcorn. Joseph stays in character perfectly. Eventually fans chant yes. Fans continue chanting yes.

Joseph’s part of the interview is awesome. This guy is amazing. He holds a trial by the fans and asks who thinks Bully Ray is not guilty… who thinks he is guilty. This was great, it was given time.

JOEY RYAN VIDEO
Fuck yeah! This dude is awesome! He and Aries would be gold together. Give this guy a contract. Good video, even if he doesn’t have a story like his dad dying or wrestling while poor.

GUT CHECK >> AUSTIN ARIES vs JOEY RYAN
Al Snow has a suit. Looks good. Joey Ryan looked like he needed a joke. Oh and out comes Austin Aries. This match will be gold. Aries looks fantastic. Fans are firmly behind Aries. Good match. Not too great. Over too quick. Give Ryan a job. Far better than Alex Sylvia.

TNA TITLE >> ROBERT ROODE vs ??? (great story built through 2 weeks)
Hogan comes out to announce which of the 2 guys will take on Robert Roode. This was a great story told through 2 weeks. The crowd has been hot all night. They picked the right guy to take on Roode. This match felt special due to the story and build over 2 weeks.

Good match. Probably Impact’s longest match in a year.

PROS:
Going into this show it has heat because the last show built to this show.
Open Fight Night special monthly show is still fresh and buzzing.
ODB & Eric Young are over with the fans.
RVD is over with the fans.
Devon is over.
Garrett has a little storyline tacked onto Devon’s.
Joseph Park is mega over.
Joseph Park & Bully Ray segment was great.
Joey Ryan being on TNA.
Austin Aries vs Joey Ryan.
Austin Aries is mega over.
TNA title match felt special.

CONS:
Opening segment with Hulk Hogan making Celebrity Apprentice.
Gail’s Kim’s voice
Knockouts Tag Titles not on the line
No build to Gunner vs RVD after Gunner put RVD on the shelf for 3 months
Gunner not getting his heat back
Bully Ray has heat.
The return this week… instead of next week.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should have been) (in my mind) (04/12/12)

ERIC BISCHOFF OPENS IMPACT (Team Eric is revealed)
The fans are firmly against Eric Bischoff and he loves it and they love it too. He welcomes his team which consists of Bully Ray, Gunner, KAZ & Christopher Daniels. Good team, but I thought Bully Ray was busy for Lock Down. Bully Ray cuts a promo and laughs at Garrett. I’ve pointed it out before and I’ll point it out again, this is like Poochie the Dog on the Simpsons… where if Poochie isn’t on screen, everyone should be talking about him, just like Garrett. The crowd wants AJ. We want AJ. Push AJ please, stop oppressing him to push James Storm, AJ can make TNA money.

Garrett appears, complete with his logo behind him that reads… Garrett… Bischoff… Garrett Bischoff. Wow. He announces Mr. Anderson is on his team.

TNA SHOPZONE COMMERCIAL (effective at selling merch)
TNA actually decided to sell some merchandise with this commercial. I’m happy. The voice even kind of sounded like Don West. Kind of…

BEST OF THREE SERIES >>ANDERSONvs GUNNER (andAnderson’s no lose contract)
There is some best of three series to announce who has the one man advantage at Lockdown. I’m happy this 8 man match involves guys who aren’t main eventers. It gives your midcarders something interesting to do.

I see Gunner as the future of TNA with more in ring longevity than Garrett and Crimson. Plus Gunner has been wrestling for 10+ years already. The commentators use this as a plug fest for everything that will happen tonight. LOL what a stupid ending to this match. This past month makes me think that Mr. Anderson has something in his contract.

ERIC YOUNG BACKSTAGE (Joseph Park needs to do something)
In a 70s sky blue tuxedo. Joseph Park appears… asks about a prenuptial agreement. After Lockdown, they need to do something with Joseph Park.

MOTORCITY MACHINE GUNS PROMO (that gets no one over)
They insult Joe & Magnus (JoeNus Brothers) credentials and put over their own, such as retiring Team 3D and beating Beer Money. Unfortunately in TNA all tag teams have beaten one another. Enter Joe & Magnus, the face heels. This was basic, no frills, lacking energy, but with passion.

Enter Mexican America that get beat down. Dull. When it’s all said and done no one is over.

BEST OF THREE SERIES >> DANIELS vs ARIES (effectively putting over Aries)
Should be a five star match if this was WCW, but since this is TNA I give it one star. That’s my prediction anyway. The crowd is firmly pro Aries and anti Daniels. Minutes into the match and there are great acrobatics, counters and risky maneuvers. The fans chant this is wrestling.

This was a great and effective match at putting over Aries. Daniels didn’t look too bad either.

JEFF HARDY PROMO (a waste of time)
I hate his music. Can’t even tell it’s him coming out and he’s had this music a while now. This theme is still better than his last TNA theme that he wrote and sang himself. In the background, TNA is constructing a cage for the upcoming Eric Young and ODB wedding. Jeff mentions how it all started with Kurt how he cost him the world title… no he prevented you from winning. Jeff Hardy is very meh on the microphone and just gets cheap pops by screaming into the microphone.

JAMES STORM BACKSTAGE PROMO w/ MONTGUMARY GENTRY
James is angry. That’s it. Gentry says Sorry bout your damn luck.

ERIC YOUNG BACKSTAGE
Is interrupted by Sarita and Rosita. Apparently they want the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. You know Eric Young has so many things going on. Joe Parks, a wedding, Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

ERIC YOUNG & ODB WEDDING (the kill-pace)
Eric Young will soon be having a fishing show on Animal Planet. TNA doesn’t mention that. I also think it is strange Animal Planet would have a fishing show. Very classy setup… too bad it is ruined by a steel cage. Too bad TNA isn’t saying for the first time ever, a wedding in a steel cage. They tease ODB not showing up and the fans boo. Then her music hits and she appears in a cammo wedding dress and plenty of makeup. ODB locks the cage once she enters. Perfect metaphore.

They shows a video of the past 3 months they’ve been together. Plenty of dirty moments and face in cleavage. They say their vows that involve farting, slapping ass and taking Eric’s ring music.

Rosita and Sarita appear and call ODB a beast. She actually gets a tear from this. Rosita strips. This segment really drags. Sarita strips. Wow this was stupid. ODB points out she doesn’t have what those girls have. The priest helps ODB strip. I’d pick ODB if you like abnormally large implants. Then Eric Young strips and Tazz is confused. The fans chant this is sexy… ODB forces the priest to strip. Wow. So now they’re married it is ODB Young. Then they instantly cut to:

RIC FLAIR PEP TALK TO BULLY RAY
It is good. Then Ric Flair mentions Hulk-a-mania falls apart today. What? Maybe because Hulk made this team match at Lockdown. Eh.

ROBERT ROODE BACKSTAGE PROMO WITH HENCHMEN
This was meh less than half a minute. It gets him on TV.

BEST OF THREE SERIES >> BULLY RAY vs AJ STYLEZ (best match of the show)
On paper this 8 man match doesn’t look bad. Both teams circle the ring. We haven’t seen AJ vs Bully in a while after their big feud maybe 2 years ago that ended with a kick to the butt. Good tight match with both guys getting treated like stars. Eventually it devolves into an outside brawl. Good win by the winner.

Hulk Hogan appears strutting to the ring, clapping as he always does. Then he announces five on five at Lockdown. Guess it. Guess who it is. I think the fans are chanting Sid. Instead of being who I thought it was a legitimate good shock. Kudos to you TNA.

ROODE vs STORM VIDEO (fails to hit the mark)
Meh video, they’ve had better ones. This was a video from Robert Roode to James Storm recapping the last 6 months. Unfortunately I’m not into this match still, because they’ve had it too many times and had too many interactions. I guess they should be hyping up James Storm winning the TNA title again.

MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM vs MICKIE JAMES & VELVET SKYE (typical women’s tag)
Velvet looks like a blow-up-doll as usual, but hey some women consider that a compliment. I feel like this match should have been in the middle of the card, because I’m burnt out already. Shockingly, Velvet really shined in this match, she did most of the work and did it compliantly. Good job.

JAMES STORM & ROBERT ROODE ANGLE (and it still doesn’t make me care)
I’m tired of watching TNA for this week, because they had the main event a few segments ago and they’re capping it off with an angle. So these two Roode and Storm have had so many interactions and so many matches that involve one another, tag matches, singles matches, four ways that I have no interest in seeing the main event. Everything TNA tries to do to hype it up, doesn’t make me want to see it more even if it is in a steel cage… you know what else is in a steel cage? Crimson & Morgan. Steel cage doesn’t matter since every other match is in a steel cage.

Both men mention Beer Money and the past including the Bound for Glory Series. Both had interesting things to say. My interest really drifted, because we’ve heard all of this before months ago. I think a guy like Roode needs the top title to keep his steam and once he loses it he won’t be nearly as noticeable. Oh and the show ends with both men forehead to forehead pushing each other’s shifting noses and it was just funny.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should have been) (in my mind) (04/05/12)

HULK HOGAN PROMO introduced by DIXIE CARTER (match announcements)
Wow what ego stroking.Dixie has Sting in the ring. They both couldn’t look average enough. In fact I saw members of the crowd that looked like bigger stars. Speaking of stars, TNA had all of its wrestlers surrounding the ring. Way to make the entire roster look like extras and background players.

Hogan plugs Lockdown and announces matches. Morgan vs Crimson at Lockdown. Knockouts challenge for #1 contender tonight. Hogan calls out Bischoff and Ric Flair on the floor argues with Hogan. Oh so Bischoff isn’t out there… either is Roode who then appears with a security force wearing suits. Well at least TNA makes him look like a star.

As I predicted any babyface as an authority figure becomes the top babyface and the top babyface that wrestles each week is always #2.Andersongets called into the ring after Roode says his piece. I never want to hearAndersontalk and thankfully he doesn’t.Andersonvs Roode is announced for tonight. Hogan then announces Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle for right now. I smell a lumberjack match!

JEFF HARDY vs KURT ANGLE (rushed match)
Tazz says this is a main event anywhere in the world… yep but on TNA it opens the card… because they like blowing their money matches. Eh whatever, maybe it will be a minute long and end with some cheap finish. Angle’s right leg is either hideously pale or it is taped up. Remember how I typed that I smell a lumberjack match. Nope. No chance. After a few minutes they fall to the outside and Jeff Hardy has to break the count right before he throws Kurt back in. That made little sense. Maybe with the count at 8, Jeff didn’t want to get counted out by throwing in Kurt first.

Kurt is busted open in the ring. Thankfully TNA cameras didn’t catch the blade. Eric Young’s bachelor party will air tonight. This match has good crowd enthusiasm, but it feels very rushed. Several minutes in when Angle applies the ankle lock, he is still standing. I’ve always had a problem with the standing ankle lock. It makes more sense to drop and let the guy drag you instead of letting them kick you or roll you up, but whatever.

Good finish to a match that builds to a pay-per-view in a cage. Good match, I still say it felt very rushed, but had some good energy and crowd reaction. Angle gets backstage and Hogan announces a cage match with him and Jeff Hardy. I guess I don’t have a problem with giving this match away for free to build to a pay-per-view.

FLAIR BACKSTAGE on the speaker phone with BISCHOFF
Yep Flair warns Bischoff.

BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE
Bully is trending worldwide. He gets asked Storm or Roode at Lockdown. Bully Ray says he’s the next world champion. Bully heads to the ring to call out Austin Aries.

BULLY RAY & ARIES ANGLE (great for both guys)
Bully Ray is calfzilla. He cuts down Austin Aries for his lack of size. Aries then appears. Aries acts like he is gonna cut a promo and ends up popping Bully with the microphone. After a beatdown, Bully Rag gives him a walking, diving powerbomb. It looked awesome and was worth a replay. This was great for both guys.

JOESEPH PARK BACKSTAGE (a waste of time)
Joe asks the caterer, because his brother has a ravenous appetite. You know Hulk once saw Abyss’s face. Hmmm… Oh but no one remembers that.

AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (and a challenge)
He things James will win. AJ is now wearing gloves. Storm appears to challenge AJ. Eh this works and keeps Storm fresh with matches. AJ should want a title shot if he beats Storm and if Storm beats Roode at Lockdown.

KNOCKOUTS CHALLENGE >> MICKIE JAMES vs TARAvs WINTER vs ANGELINA LOVE vs MADISON RAYNE vs VELVET SKYE (and flawed logic)
Winter is announced from parts unknown. I could swear she’s fromEngland somewhere. If she had an American accent, I’d say she’s fromAlaska. Or how about the clouds above? Looks like Angelina is just a heel instead of with Winter. I hate to admit it, but Winter and Rayne have my two favorite themes in TNA. Why? I guess because they sound different from any other theme.

Apparently this match is the first fall with only 2 people at a time with the need to tag out. Strange. Why would anyone tag in? Just blind tags I guess. A match like this should either be 6 at a time or offer a punishment for the loser. Otherwise there is no reason to tag out. If I had to predict a winner, I’d say Velvet Skye, because that’s who won last week, but knowing TNA it could be Winter. If this was the WWE I’d say Rosita, because she’s not even in the match.

There is an awesome spot where Velvet is in with Rayne, who then tags out to Mickie James to make face vs face. When Mickie goes to get in Rayne kicks her out. This becomes a spotfest like all big matches. In the end, one woman is standing tall, which is great, because usually TNA has this problem of when there’s a winner everyone is in the ring, so you don’t get a visual of one person being above the rest.

ANDERSONBACKSTAGE with ROODE (less annoying than usual)
Anderson is backstage. Roode appears with his suited bodyguards.Anderson wonders why wait til tonight when we can fight right now? Isn’t right now tonight? Whatever. The suits get inAnderson’s face he touches their ties. They’ll wait til later tonight.

TNA at CMAs (with Kiss)
You get to see Jeff Hardy and James Storm posing with Kiss. I swear this was CMAs… Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it is the ACMs or whatever. I wonder how much Gene Simmons asked to be paid for standing in the background. 

ERIC YOUNG’s BACHELOR PARTY (and how lame it is)
3 nerds with Eric Young picking fantasy baseball online. ODB appears to give the men a party. Insults the men and chases them away. She’s subtly chasing away everyone from Eric Young. They might as well have Eric put in a closet. She then pulls Eric close for a face full of cleavage.

JAMES STORM vs AJ STYLEZ (AJ is still a star)
Montgomery Gentry is in the crowd and James says hi. This could be awesome, but since this is TNA I see it going 4 minutes. AJ looks very strange with gloves. I like how the crowd is chanting for AJ who is the midcarder. Early on AJ summersaults out of the way of the Last Call. I think TNA should just call it Last Call instead of Last Call Super Kick. Tennay plugs the MotorCity Machine Guns are next.

This match has some good logical counters and reversals, such as elbows to a rear waist lock to break the clasp. Good match, the crowd is firmly behind AJ for 80% of the match. It is interesting to see their physiques when both of them started out with the same skinny body 10 years ago. Good finish with the winner checking on his friend. This match made AJ look good and actually show his stuff.

James Storm gets on the mic and wants Robert Roode next week to look him in the eye one last time before Lockdown.

HOGAN & STING BACKSTAGE
Hogan sends Sting home. Sting says the doctors won’t let him compete. Good. Use Sting sparingly.

MONTGOMERY GENTRY BACKSTAGE w/ ROBERT ROODE
They lightly put over TNA and put over James Storm. Robert Roode appears and spits in the face of Montgomery Gentry. This was good. Hopefully TNA

MOTORCITY MACHINE GUNS vs MEXICAN AMERICA (terrible missed opportunity)
Sabin was injured one year ago in a botched spot against Mexican America. TNA really should have put this on pay-per-view with some hype behind it. People would pay money to see their return or at least their first match into their return. By just throwing out the guns it felt like Sabin had never left and he was just a regular guy. There were brief, emphatic chants of ‘Welcome back.’ But there were more chants of ‘Motor city.’

Personally, if I were Sabin, I’d be working on Anarchya’s knee to take him out and make him disappear for a while (to OVW). There was a spot where Shelly flew off the top and landed on Anarchya who had his knees bent. Not a block, just coincidental. Anyway, the Guns looked awesome.

Sabin gets on the mic and says he wants the titles. He doesn’t mention how great it is to be back.

RIC FLAIR BACKSTAGE intercepts ERIC BISCHOFF
Flair says Hogan is out of control. Eric calls Ric a two time hall-of-famer. Flair says that Hogan is out of control because he’s making matches for Lockdown. Oh no! An authority figure making matches? TNA plugs a Bischoff & Hogan in the ring for a confrontation.

HOGAN & BISCHOFF ANGLE
Hogan is in the ring and calls out Bischoff who then appears. Thank goth this wasn’t the main event after the last match. I’m much happier with this match under the main event. Eric Bischoff says blah blah blah. This is something I’ve heard from him so many times. Against Garrett Bischoff, Vince McMahon, Steve Austin. Probably other guys too.

Hogan says that Eric needs to put together a team for Lockdown and Garrett will make the other team. I like this idea. Garrett doesn’t need to be in a singles cage match. Hmmm Gunner & Mexican America vs Garrett & uh… Anthony Neese & D-Von.

If Garrett loses he’s off TNA and if Eric’s team loses he can no longer use his own name for the rest of his life. Yep… Maybe he will be Bob Smith.

STORM VIDEO
A great video recap with the split of Beer Money interviewing Storm and people from his life, his friends, wife, and family. Storm even has a baby in his arms. James Storm is Joe Everyman. This video was good and it really pushes Storm vs Roode as something special to TNA.

MR. ANDERSON vs ROBERT ROODE (what match?)
Andersonsays Mr. Anderson.Anderson. Then walks to the ring. Ken Anderson looks terrible, like he’s ill with the flu and they’re making him wrestle. Maybe he has food poisoning or something. He also wears a shirt that says ‘pro wrestling is real.’ Since he has the sleeves well cut off, it looks like the shirt says ‘no wrestling is real.’ At least Mr. Anderson has a win going into this match and at least Robert Roode has a fresh match that doesn’t involve Hardy, Bully or Storm. Wow Bobby is thin compared to the TNA title. He only has 1 set of buttons buttoned. Maybe TNA needs magnets on the belt to keep the strap from just flapping like that.

For whatever reasonAndersonhas 33 on the back of his wrestling trunks, is that his age? Is that the highway he lives next to? Tennay announces that there will be a series of matches between team Garrett vs team Gunner. I like how no one really pays attention to the match in the ring. The commentators just recap what we’ve seen and what we will see.

Ref bump. Ken Anderson gets the visionary. Well I smell the first feud after Roode loses the title at Lockdown. Heck he might not even lose the title and this might be the main event program after Lockdown. Beer bottle finish. Poor referee has to count in the glass.Andersonis bleeding. I also like how no one can say Bobby Roode, they always say Bobby Rooooo.

James Storm appears with Hogan. That’s like a boy appearing with his dad to confront a bully. Good job TNA. Hogan reverses the decision. Maybe this was inAnderson’s contract where he needs to get a win over Bobby Roooo. After that final match, I just have a bad taste in my mouth.

Everything Right with TNA Impact (03/29/12)

ROBERT ROODE w/ COPS (burning out Storm vs Roode)
Well I guess that TNA is trying to make their main event angle for Lockdown feel like a WWE’s main event by having their champion come out with cops. Didn’t Robert Roode send his lawyer last week to show up to say Roode wouldn’t be on Impact for the next month until Lockdown? At least there are “fire bobby chants.” I’m happy that the Impact Zone is more lively over the past few months. Roode announced that he won the war because Sting stepped down. I kind of feel they could have done the Roode outsmarting Sting into losing his GM status. Oh and since when was sting a general manager? Authority figure yes, GM no, but whatever. The fans chant forDixie. In fact I’m waiting for theDixie vs Roode match. 

Storm shows up says a few lines only to get beat down by Bully Ray. I guess it makes sense for Roode not to lay hands on Storm. Storm gets up throws a Last Call kick but pulls back for the cops. Storm wants both of Bully Ray & Storm. Don’t let that happen. I’ve seen all 3 guys too much against one another.

GAIL KIM & RAYNE BACKSTAGE (and how to put heat on a prop)
Rayne looks fantastic as always and Gail gives her a new tiara. Good. This puts heat on a prop. They announce a match between Velvet and Rayne. This was brief and great… because it announced a match, put heat on a prop and didn’t involve screeching promos. Rayne should walk around telling people how awesome her tiara is because her bff Gail Kim gave it to her. How her bff is the best! Then have a face threaten the tiara.

VELVET SKYE vs RAYNE (a building block)
Did Velvet get a new tramp stamp? Rayne should really go over in this match. Velvet will still be over afterward, she gets chants, she gets the crowd fired up because everyone loves a big chest, even gay men and straight women. Matt Morgan vs Crimson is mentioned for later. The match had crowd heat and energy and it was kept short. I find it interesting that Ryane wears American flags on a lot of outfits.

POST MATCH INTERVIEW w/ VELVET (it was ok)
Christy Hemme holds the microphone for Velvet to challenge Gail Kim. Well with that in mind, the last match was good as a building block. Thank god Velvet didn’t screech into the microphone that much.

DIXIE selling HOGAN SITDOWN OUTSIDE (it feels like Dixieis being dumped)
Dixie wants him to comeback. This was filmed outside with a cameraman lurking behind a post filming them.Dixie looks at the camera every so often with it5 meters away.Dixie needs to sell Hogan on the idea to comeback. There is a security guard way in the background looking over things or perhaps it’s a really observant fan. Hogan wants to stay out of the company. He plugs the fact Bobby Roode is such a heel he’s not sure what can fix it. How about building up some faces to challenge Roode but whatever.Dixie wants Hogan, but he doesn’t want to. She’s just about begging him.

This sounds like a man dumping a woman and her struggling to stay with him. Plus it is in public on a park bench. In public on a bench, this is the perfect dumping ground. Hogan will think about it. He then just gets up and walks away.

MORGAN & CRIMSON RECAP
This was brief. These two should still be a tag team. I don’t want to see them wrestle.

KURT ANGLE BACKSTAGE
He won’t give Jeff Hardy a rematch because Jeff Hardy is a crybaby. He beat Hardy fair and square… but if Hardy beats Ken Anderson one on one he will give Hardy a shot. I never ever want to see another Hardy vsAnderson match since they burnt it out in the WWE.

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO on BULLY RAY (five star promo)
Austin is still a heel cutting a face promo on a heel. This guy needs to drop the X-division belt and move up the ladder and get TNA title matches on pay-per-view. The tough thing is keeping him heel when the fans face him. Austin Aries calls himself Mr. Moneysworth. Awesome. This should trend. He’s got a set of balls as big as Bully Ray’s calves.

Aries respects James Storm, but prefers a glass of red wine to a cold beer. Aries wants to fight by Storm’s side. Brilliant. I have so much more interest in an Aries tag match than a handicap match with Storm.

MORGAN vs CRIMSON (TNA needs to make Morgan feel like a giant)
Oh Christ, not this match again. Maybe if they keep it down to 2 minutes, use weapons and brawl through the crowd I’d like it. They are 2 big looking guys, but I really think Crimson exposes Morgan for how clunky and basic his wrestling is. The crowd continues to be hot for this match, which is a good thing.

Wow this match looks edited. The crowd is firmly behind Morgan, which is good, because they could be sitting on their hands. When Morgan sells the fans clap to get him on his feet. They always clap to get him up. You know what Matt Morgan is7’tall… but he never feels7’tall. TNA makes him feel average. When Morgan comes out the cameramen should be on their knees. Perhaps Morgan needs a chokeslam, powerbomb or some moves that accentuate his height.

Oh Crap double count out. Meh. I think that hurts this match. Crimson should have won by cheating, he’s the heel. They brawls to the back and Mike Tennay announces “nothing’s been settled.”

JOE PARK BACKSTAGE w/ TNA PRODUCTION
Joe reveals he used to play college football. I’m amazed at the age of some TNA producers. This was brief and revealed something about Joe. It was nice and keeps things moving for him.

ANDERSONvs HARDY (and why I didn’t want to see it and TNA plug fest)
Aren’t they both faces? I’ve pointed out that I really hate Hardy vsAnderson since it was in the WWE. I remember howAnderson wouldn’t sell anything for Hardy in the WWE and how he almost killed Hardy in a match and then the WWE had it 3 more times. Then TNA had it several times. Even though I haven’t seen this in a year, I don’t want to see it. But hey maybe this will be awesome since they haveAnderson working with all of the lighter weights he should be a power guy working with them and play the heel.

At least the crowd has been hot and TNA has been at a great pace tonight. Tennay plugs that Lockdown will be in select movie theaters. I’d go see it in a theater if the nearest one wasn’t 4 hours away. The crowd is hot for this match and explode with every move.

Motorcity Machine Guns are back next week. I honestly think they should have done whatever they plan on doing at the pay-per-view and go from there. It could be a promo or angle to start with at the pay-per-view then at the next pay-per-view have their first match. But knowing TNA they will have their first match at lockdown against JoNus Brothers. Tennay also announces Eric Bischoff to have an ultimate challenge for his son Garrett.

I really think the crowd heat makes this match. Ken seems sloppy as time goes on. Hardy bumped out of the ring and there is Kurt Angle to interfere. I suppose the crowd heat carried this match and made it good or at least better than it is.Andersonlooks totally out of gas at the end. 

JAMES STORM MUSIC VIDEO LONG NECKS AND REDNECKS (brilliant)
This makes your star look big and people will remember this for all time. It will be on the James Storm DVD when it comes out. Awesome story told in this video about a waitress getting roughed up in a bar and James Storm goes to be the hero. Video clips of TNA inUKare shown to make TNA look huge. It looks like James Storm and his boys get free beer for the save. Then James drinks the heel under the table and the waitress takes Storm’s keys and drives him home in her big ass monster truck.

Now is the point that I admit I’m actually really enjoying TNA Impact.

ERIC & ODB PLANNING THE WEDDING (comedy)
ODB plays subtly insanely jealous knockout luckily they have a hot chesty model of a wedding planner. Eric likes pillows. ODB doesn’t like her pillows. I notice Eric must have trimmed his beard. ODB shuns the wedding planner. Not nearly as bad as it could have been. ODB says they’re getting married in the steel cage at Lockdown. Uggg… That’s a first. WWE would love to plug for the first time ever a wedding in a steel cage. Tennay and Tazz should plug that.

TNA has given zero time between segments like a sketch show. 

ERIC BISCHOFF ANNOUNCES ULTIMATE CHALLENGE w/ GARRETT
The fans in the background are falling asleep. Eric announces how every life goal he has is checked off except one… beating his son Garrett Bischoff, who then appears. Anyway, long story short, Gunner vs Garrett in a cage at Lockdown.

STORM TRAINS FOR LOCKDOWN (great segment)
Great job TNA, and I really mean that. His redneck gym in a tree house in the rain. This is good. Throwing logs and cinderblocks, sit ups, hanging from the rafters to do chin ups / pull ups. Then plug their tag team history. It puts heat on this match, if this wasn’t their forth match in six months. Storm does boxing and kicking like a whole different style. Storm better win the title at Lockdown.

STORM & ARIES vs BULLY RAY & ROBERT ROODE (a rising star and the right way TNA did things)
I’m happy to see Aries in the main event, I think it elevates all guys to have someone fresh in the mix who is not Angle, Hardy, Bully Ray, Robert Roode or James Storm. They’ve burnt out all of their matches and need someone fresh in that mix whether its Aries, Gunner, Samoa Joe or even Magnus. Normally I’d complain about 2 feuds in a tag match and how it burns out the interest in the pay-per-view, but since Aries is a lesser guy on the rise who hasn’t been stale for months I have no problem with it. Even though TNA should really keep Storm away from Roode, especially since they’ve burnt out the match.

Bully Ray insults Aries size then tags out. Awesome heel move. It also keeps heat on the pay-per-view if they don’t touch. Aries slipped up early on it looked strange he’d slip up. Several minutes in and Aries finally gets a single big shot in on Bully Ray. One shot is enough. Storm gets Roode begging off only to be hit from behind by Bully Ray. Good idea. Brief encounters that mean a lot without overdoing it. Storm never gets his hands on Roode, good. Now for the bad…

HOGAN’S DESCISION w/ DIXIE(anti-climaxing the show)
This shouldn’t have been the main event. Why is it? Ugg it kills the momentum of the show. I really feel that it should end off with a glory shot of your top babyface not some political BS. This doesn’t need to cap off a show, because it is anti-climactic. Perhaps TNA’s rating say otherwise. The fans want Hogan. Hogan is in a TNA shirt and jeans. Yep like a jobber, a near7’ legendary jobber. Hogan has already closed the book on this part of his life. Out comes Sting. The TNA faces follow Sting. Uggg… Even D-Von the TV champion is out… without his belt. Even James Storm. Way to make your top babyface into a background guy. That’s why this should have been done earlier.

Actually who am I kidding, James Storm isn’t the top babyface until stronger faces like Sting and Hogan get out of the company so James Storm can actually start being in the main event of the show and not just the last match on the show. Hogan agrees because Sting has Hogan’s back. Well if the #1 babyface wants me as the authority figure I guess I will be. No wrestling company needs a face authority figure. Heel authority figures provide perfect foils to unfairness and elevating rebel faces.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should have been) (in my mind) (03/01/12)

TNA OPENING VIDEOS
Video recaps how dumb the Roode & Storm ‘I’m done’ statement was.
Kurt Angle has cue cards to explain why he did what he did to Jeff Hardy. He’s laughing because he knows how stupid this is…
TNA got a new intro. Looks good … but generic. No intensity to the opening. It doesn’t get me fired up to watch TNA, but it does look good. 

KURT ANGLE PROMO (to explain how stupid his program is with Jeff Hardy)
Look he has cue cards because he knows how stupid this is, so he’s gonna make it stupider. Jeff Hardy is not a wrestler he’s a performance artist. Jeff Hardy reminds me how fake wrestling is with his loose and sloppy work. That was not part of his speech. That’s my speech. Kurt Angle’s top reasons to hate Hardy are meh at best… bottom line is that he’s jealous of Jeff Hardy. This should have been explained half a month ago… OR THEY COULD HAVE STARTED THE FEUD BETTER! 

An Olympic gold medalist even from a decade ago should be dominating a backyard wrestling risk taker. To me… Jeff Hardy should be proving he’s the wrestler that I think he’s not. And by I… that means Kurt Angle. The Olympian shouldn’t be jealous he should be dominant and a joke like Jeff shouldn’t hold a candle to him and Jeff should train mat wrestling to even hang with Kurt. Then Kurt Angle destroys hardy at the PPV… and Hardy challenges Kurt to his type of match, a ladder match. Then it is tied 1 – 1 with all the marbles in a match that benefits neither man. Do this over the span of 4 or 5 months.

ROBERT ROODE BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW (and then Aries enters)
Austin Aries is over because he’s the top dog in his division. Personally I feel Aries is the top heel if not top star and they should open up his pool. If someone on top like Angle or Bully or Roode disappears, Aries should lose his title and take their place. 

TNA MERCH COMMERCIAL (and how stupid it is)
It is March, let’s sell jerseys. All of the Knockouts in the commercial are wearingJerseys… so they must be selling them. How much? Who the hell knows. But… Knockouts are wearing them or it’s to hype up basketball. Perhaps an AJ Styles basketball jersey or a Bully Ray one for the heels. I’ve noticed TNA has 2 weeks of commercials with the Knockouts then 2 weeks of commercials that sell merchandise. The point is selling merchandise not using the Knockouts under contract. 

GAUNTLET MATCH >> AJ vs DANIELS (a staple of AJ’s month)
AJ wants answers… well Kurt Angle gave answers… so why not Daniels giving answers? At least this match has heat on it unlike the last 2 times they had it. Sure it’s a good match, but they have burnt it out for me and they need to make me want to see it and promise of an answer gets heat on the match. As I’ve said for weeks feuding over a title could get heat on their feud and the belt even if it is the TNA title. AJ would have something Daniels and KAZ both want. Daniels and KAZ or AJ & KAZ can light a fire in the TNA tag division. 

GAUNTLET MATCH >> AJ vs KAZ (excellent)
This was handled excellently. Kudos TNA with how this was handled. Didn’t give away the match. But there’s one problem… now we’re still searching for an answer.

ODB vs RAYNE (and a storyline that combines 2 of TNA’s favorite things)
So the Rayne vs Kim program combines 2 of TNA’s favorite things… a feuding tag team and heel vs heel for the championship. Then this match combines another one of TNA’s things… Eric Young. ODB still has heat because of Eric. Eric should still be a manager of someone dull like Crimson or Shannon Moore. PreferablyShannon. 

This was a bad match with way too much going on. EY running around, Gail pretending to run in. The right woman won, but your #1 contender lost. I smell a TNA Knockout’s tag title defense at the next pay-per-view… which I assume isVictory Road, but a trailer or some hype for the PPV itself would help.

BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE (and about Storm Storm Storm Storm)
Oh Christ not another Bully Ray vs Storm match (it seemed like it). I don’t want to see another for 3 months. TNA should have kept that match for a PPV. Now I don’t care. Bully, Angle, Roode, Hardy, Storm and Sting are money for TNA. They need to stay away from one another unless it’s for money. I don’t want to see matches on free TV when they are the moneymen. I’d rather see Bully Ray vs Shannon Moore, Storm vs Daniels, Roode vs Morgan, Angle vs Crimson every month than seeing a constant combination of those 6 guys every week.

VELVET / ANGELINA / SARITA BACKSTAGE BRAWL
Thank goth this was kept to less than a minute. Their backstage brawls always went too long. Thank goth Velvet didn’t talk for more than 5 seconds. I still remember how Sarita the heel was looking good as a face over that heelish face Velvet Skye. Then they come back from commercial to have Velvet complain longer and get beat down longer. Remember what I just said about at least it wasn’t long. I take it back. This was too long. Why was it Angelina and Sarita and not Sarita and Rosita or Angelina and Winter. This wasn’t the worst segment, but it sets up a match for later on.

FLAIR to GARRETT BACKSTAGE
Flair promo. I’m sure people will love it. I didn’t care. Flair got paid. 

ROODE, ARIES & BULLY RAY PROMO (and why a heel authority is better than  a face)
Heel promo. I’ve heard Roode talk way too much. Please pass the mic. If you have something more interesting to say that doesn’t sound the same as last week then please say it! Roode is done afterVictory Road. Bully talks about his calves and he blames Sting for bringing in Brandon Jaccobs. So the heels have a problem with face management. I’m not sure I like heels complaining against a face authority figure instead of a heel authority figure and the faces fighting the authority. Sure it’s been done before and maybe that’s why they went the other route. That and it puts too much heat on Sting, because a face authority figure will fight by himself instead of a heel authority figure will throw wave after wave of wrestler! Several wrestlers have the heat put on them by authority. 

Austin Aries makes sense and he delivers intensity. I appreciate and enjoy his promos and logic instead of Roode’s promos that just drone on with no real logic behind them. Again if some main eventer gets injured, Aries should take the place. Imagine Aries vs Storm, Aries vs AJ, Aries vs Hardy. Maybe Aries isn’t in their pay grade.

Sting appears and verbally makes sense that they’re all wrestlers and they need money. Sting makes the main event, halfway through the show. I can imagine how that would bother some people. 

JESSE SORENSEN UPDATE
Oh no don’t talk about him getting back into the ring. No talk about getting back to being able to sit up. Its great that he will return, but it’s a long term thing, lets work on being able to sit up. 

ZIMA ION BACKSTAGE PROMO
This was great, but I guess I didn’t want to hear it at the moment. 

ZIMA vs SHANNON
Good I’m happy they have this match. Zima is coming into his own with his ugly ass fro and arrogance. Good throw away match. Good to seeShannon. Good flashy maneuvers. It is a shame when a top rope head scissors doesn’t finish someone off. Very good flashy finisher that looks very safe, a backward fireman’s carry into an over knee face buster. Very good. Especially after my complaints for the past three weeks. Zima is coming along nicely and evolving into something all within the past month. 

TNA LIVE EVENTS COMMERCIALS (and how awesome they are)
These little commercials really sell TNA live events. As much as I’ve complained about the TNA Shopzone commercials being terrible, these are awesome and sell the interaction that you get when attending a TNA live event even if its not televised.

VELVET & MICKIE vs SARITA & ANGELINA
I don’t think they need a reason for this match. Mickie gets ratings, Sarita is great in the ring, Velvet is TNA’s golden girls and Angelina is underrated and been stuck in the mud for at least a year. Mike Tennay & Tazz talk about entertainment in music and TV, not exactly sure why, but whatever. Maybe it is to make TNA seem more current. This match had a lot more energy and heat than ODB vs Rayne earlier on tonight, which is a surprise since there is no reason for this match to be so good. At the end of all of this… it means nothing. 

ABYSS DISAPPEARED (he’s gone)
I have this crazy idea… feed men to Abyss. 1 minute jobs, intense, powerful destructions against Moore, Anthony Neese, and Doug Williams. Destroy them. Feed your monster for a month before you sent out a gladiator to take on the monster and build to that. First Crimson. Abyss can laugh at the boy trying to take him out. Feed Crimson to Abyss. Then Morgan. Month by month… Abyss eats 3 jobbers for lunch with an even match at the PPV. After a few months of destroying people have him go through a main eventer like Hardy or Bully Ray. Then take on the top face or top heel and that’s where Abyss can get defeated in 5 months. A man who has destroyed wrestlers and won 16 matches in a row finally falls to your great warrior. It is simple booking or have him go through your champion or top warrior too and become an unstoppable monster that can last another 6 months. But I guess they’re busy pushing Roode as a cheat to win champion. 

STORM / MAGNUS / JOE vs ROODE / ARIES / BULLY RAY (and why I give a damn)
You know what I’m thrilled at this, a fresh main event. Sure it still involves the 3 guys I complain about, but that’s only 50% of the match. It elevates Aries, Joe and Magnus. Those three that I mentioned each have a fire under them right now with the fans firmly behind them and a hunger for them. Those 2 things mean a lot. Fans chant for Joe and Aries. The one complaint is when did Joe & Magnus turn? Oh it doesn’t matter; they’re faces in the eyes of the fans due to their amazing chemistry, speed and finesse. Everything that Aries has as well.

It was a great start that was generously slow burning. My first complaint was when Storm was tagged in and Roode bailed… Storm just stopped dead in his tracks, he should have attacked Bully Ray, Aries and gone to the floor to fight Roode before getting poked in the eyes and beaten down. That’s not what I want to see in your top face… I don’t want a guy that just stops dead in his tracks. Maybe if they had weapons or something. Your top face should be able to take out everyone but your top heel. Oh and to top it off Storm has tangled with Roode a few times since being screwed out of the title a few months ago.

Joe & Bully Ray. This could be a money match and just this sample of it is awesome. I’m sure if this wasJapanthey’d work a 20 minute classic, but since this isAmericait would be slow when they have a 1 on 1 match. Speaking of Joe, wow his chest is red.

This match has a fire to it that I haven’t seen in months for TNA. The crowd is chanting for workers in the ring. The match has a freshness seeing Joe in there with anyone. It has me getting into this match and that’s something I haven’t said about a TNA Impact match in months.

Storm has a fire in his hot tag and this feels like a main event and not just another match. I actually give a damn about who will win and there it was.

As for the post match I would have had a celebration, but hey it’s TNA. Gotta end it on a low note, at least they didn’t just cut to some Sting angle.