Pitch for a WWE Network weekday lineup

Word on the street is that no one wants to lead the WWE Network and that it might just become a Youtube exclusive ‘channel.’ It shouldn’t be that difficult to find quality programming or come up with a weekday lineup. The formula already exists on B level networks.

WWE has pitched its ideas for TV shows which eh… could be a lot better. Ideas like Legend’s House, which is filmed and they’re trying to sell it to other networks. They’ve also pitched a cooking with Big Show idea, and Mic Foley riding rollercoasters, which is an ok time filler, but the WWE has such a vast tape library of filler they could operate 3 networks and do just fine.

WEEKDAYS:
6 AM – 7 AM: WrestleReport > Everything you missed in wrestling the day before. Why at 6 – 7 AM? DVR it or watch it when you wake up. It can be filmed the night before. They can have extra news like what’s coming up in WWE video games or the magazine or catching up with retired WWE legends.
7 AM – 10 AM: WWF Attitude Era > Why 3 hours? One 3 hours is the best of one week of WWE programming, with Heat + RAW + Smackdown (if they exist in the time period). Since a day is a week of old WWE TV, it builds to a 3 hour PPV of whatever month it was at that time. Maybe even have it hosted between segments by the Road Dogg or something.
10 AM – 10:30: WWE New School > I’ve pitched ideas before about WWE holding wrestling schools where they train 50 workers for a few months or however long it takes to properly train someone. (referenced here: https://workmancer.wordpress.com/2012/03/31/wwe-should-hold-open-tryouts-and-offer-free-training-to-those-that-make-it-in-order-to-saturate-the-wrestling-industry/) Don’t kick them off, just train them. You can use this show to televise it. Not like a reality show, more like a documentary. It probably won’t get great ratings, so give it a bad time slot. Break the class up into 10 students with 1 or 2 trainers each. Since there would be 5 groups of 10, each group would get a day and 30 minutes would document an entire week of their training. Why 10 AM? For the next show.
10:30 – 11 AM: Cooking (Big) Show > WWE Network wants a cooking show with Big Show and his wife. This is close enough to lunch time. I do like the idea of a cooking show, because it adds life to the network. Pretape it or have them cooking in a hotel or wherever Big Show is that moment. He’s a heel now… great.
11 AM – 2 PM: WCW Monday Night Wars > Why 3 hours? Same reason as before, show the best of a week of Nitro + Thunder + Saturday Night and have it build to a 3 hour PPV. If they need a host, bring in DDP.
2 PM – 6 PM: Marathon (80s WWE, NWA, AWA, 90s WWE, 00s WWE, 90s WCW, old ECW, new ECW) > Plenty of networks have daily marathons. Just pick a company or theme and give them a marathon or put on 2 WWE movies or old PPVs. Do marathons of original WWE programming (every other network seems to). Even air 4 episodes of old Superstars. Anything to fill time and make use of the tape library.
6 PM – 7 PM: Wrestling Roundup / Wrestling pre show > Whatever show will be on that night, have a pre show to it. If that’s a bad idea, air a repeat of WWE Network original programming from the week before to build into its next episode. Show a bonus match from a preliminary bout. If RAW is 3 hours, use this time slot for the first hour.
7 PM – 9 PM: Wrestling Programming (Monday: RAW, Tuesday: NXT, Wednesday: FCW, Thursday: Superstars, Friday: Smackdown) > If the WWE has contractual obligations to not show Monday Night RAW or Smackdown on a different network, then so be it. Show a WWE movie or an action movie. Who has the TV rights to air Rocky? Or get really ballsy and have a camera backstage at RAW while RAW is going on. 2 different shows at the same place. That would be a horrible idea I’m sure. If WWE can’t air an original RAW on the WWE Network, air a classic RAW or old ECW or old WCW. That might make wrestling compete with itself, so they should just show a movie on days that RAW and Smackdown are on other networks. If something like NXT, FCW or Superstars are only 1 hour… air a classic episode with some preface from a host (Looks to the Road Dogg). Like Daniel Bryan is white-hot… here’s an episode of NXT with Daniel Bryan! Of course the side by side comparison might not be good. So air a repeat of a WWE Network original show!
10 PM – 11 PM: WWE Network original programming > WWE has already filmed Legend’s House, but I’ve got other ideas. Girls & Guns. WWE divas show off the latest in firearms and personal security in a 30 minute show. Or just make it Girls & Games where the divas show off the latest video games. Second is my idea of a wrestling version of American Idol (referenced here https://workmancer.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/idea-for-the-wwe-network-that-could-be-the-american-idol-of-wrestling/), where teams of 2 work matches against each other together in a match. Like you against a friend to make the best match possible and win over the judges to make it to the next round. My third idea is giving JBL a wildlife, hunting or nature show. JBL travels the world and does some amazing things with amazing animals. He already does this, so why not give him a camera crew to follow him? Make an on the road show where a camera crew follows a WWE superstar for a week. Something interesting has to happen on the road getting from point A to B, or give 6 – 8 wrestlers (or groups of wrestlers if they travel in groups) a camera crew for 13 weeks so you can see the road stories of them traveling. Depending on the wrestlers personalities it would be fun to watch. Then do a travel show. This is host Kelly Kelly or whoever exploring Detroit, Orlando, Dallas and taking in the sights in whatever city they’re in! You can even split it up between 4 superstars to do one thing. Or better yet turn it into a late night travel show to see the cities after dark. Then there are more expensive scripted action drama ideas like a bounty hunter that goes from city to city wrestling in the evening and bounty hunting at night and in the day. Or a biker gang on Smackdown that works together on the show, then goes bar hopping and fighting later on. Then hits the road on their motorcycles in the morning to make it to the next show.
11 PM – 12 AM: Round Table Discussion > WWE On Demand already has something like this. 4 legends gather around a round table to watch matches, discuss them and tell stories about things. It is a lot of fun to watch, and older fans will enjoy it.
12 AM – whenever: Midnight Marathon > Same thing as earlier with the previous marathon. Show anything they want overnight. Old ECW, Show 2 Halloween Havoks back to back, old AWA, show anything. Or just have WCW Mondays, WWF Tuesdays, ECW Wednesdays, AWA Thursdays and uh whatever else for Fridays. Then follow it up with infomercials before the day starts again.

Review of 1998 WCW Souled Out (and the infamous Nash>Giant powerbomb)

OVERALL
Hopefully I won’t give anything away with my review of this card. 1998 was a time where I was all gothed up and going to college. I was busy watching WWE at the time. This show took place right after the Sting vs Hogan match at Starcade 1997 that had a shit finish where the championship was held over… for 2 months… 2 dubmass months. This PPV was when the NWO was still one single faction and it was 1/4th of the company of wrestlers. So it was all out WCW vs NWO. Just hearing the title of the PPV… WCW, NWO and SNICKERS present… Souled Out! Without the title on the line… I thought that Ric Flair vs Bret Hart was the main event… because that’s what they talked about all night. No I was wrong. It was Lex Luger vs Randy Savage.

CHAVO JR, JUVENTUD GUERRERA, SUPER CALO, LIZMARK JR vs LA PARKA, PSYCHOSIS, EL DANDY, SILVERKING
– HOT OPENER! Wow this was good. Sure there were botched spots, but this was the best opening 8 man that there could ever be!

CHRIST BENOIT vs RAVEN
They kick off this match by banning the flock from ringside. Wow what a bland match. If anything Raven was the star with Benoit just selling. What’s bad is there were 2 standing 10 counts in a row. I hate to say it, but this was like watching 2 corpses wrestle.

Cruiserweight Champion CHRIS JERICHO vs REY MYSTERIO JR
– This was a good match, not the greatest. Jericho worked the injured leg of Rey and Rey… jumped and springboarded and did everything he normally does. Rey sells nothing.

JJ DILLON & RODDY PIPER make an announcement with SCOTT HALL, STING & HULK HOGAN
– Question. Why do 2 men need to announce a match for 2 men to have a shot at a 3rd man at the next PPV? Why did 2997 Starcade end with the belt being held up after Sting & Hogan. Why did Scott Hall get a title shot months earlier at World War 3 and have to wait 3 – 4 months before getting a title shot. Why? Why? Why!!!!!!!!!

TV Champion BOOKER T vs RICK MARTEL
– Wow Rick Martel. I felt like I was watching Ken Kennedy. This was a dull and awkward match that I had no interest in, nor did they make me want to watch. The work was memorably bad like when the Quebec Crab was put on Booker… Booker ‘s body and legs were straight out….

SCOTT HALL vs LARRY ZYBISCO
– Wow another match… There was a notable swerve in this match. They worked the best match they could, but wow was the crowd against Larry. You’d think he was the biggest heel and he was the face in all of this! There was a lot of stuff toward the end that made no sense, which seems to be on par. Larry’s moves were also outdated and just didn’t look right.

The tag team champs weren’t defending their belts on this card…

NWO BUFF BAGWELL & SCOTT NORTON & KONNAN vs STIENER BROTHERS & BIG RAY TRAILER
– This was a shmoz. The story of this match was that Rick Stiener didn’t trust his own brother Scott… So he wasn’t letting Scott in the ring. That seems dumb. If he doesn’t trust his brother HIS OWN BROOOOTHERRRR!!!! why not just tag him in and let him get beat up? This was… uh not good. Its interesting though how WCW slow built the Scott, Buff & Rick love triangle over a 6+ month period.

THE GIANT vs KEVIN NASH (powerbotch)
– This is the infamous match where Nash dumped the Giant on his head. There’s nothing spectacular about this match other than it happened 2 hours into the card. The card really just flew by in a haze of meh… Hogan and Bischoff were out there for Nash. Bischoff got laid out it was nice. The highlight is the botched powerbomb. Legend has it that Nash was told to work out in the gym to powerbomb the Giant, but he said he’d powerbomb him anyway. It was interesting hearing the commentators say Paul Wight is 500 lbs yet he’s much slimmer in WCW than WWE. It must be all of that hair.

They also have officials rush out to help the Giant… but not from the powerbomb. The powerbomb was just a botched spot and doesn’t involve the finish… therefore they didn’t care. Having no music to go out on would have been nice. Also Bobby Heenan wasn’t convincing me of the sevarity of things…

RIC FLAIR vs BRET HART
This match seemed to have no build to it… just thrown out there cold. Morons. Hopefully they built up to the PPV with promos, but instead WCW made it seem like the Internet fans built this one up wondering… who’s the best wrestler. Well tonight it was proven. This match was the best match of the night.

Bret Hart countered virtually everything and never let Ric have any offense unless Ric cheated. Luckily that was 25% of Flair’s offense. It was your typical Hart match. It was great in the ring with basic holds and locks, but done effectively. Tony Shavonti on commentary was surprisingly top notch on calling little nuances. I was amazed. Good 15 minute match if that…

LEX LUGAR vs RANDY SAVAGE
Over very quickly. Apparently the story here was Liz. She was all over this match, which as a heel vallet she should be. The match ended… I’m not even sure who won. Then the aftermath happened.

IN CONCLUSION
– Bad PPV. Dull and uninspired matches. No main event title defended… nor was he wrestling… nor was the top contender wrestling and your #2 contender was wrestling a retired guy… but they did have an angle with 5 men for 1 belt to announce that at the next PPV they’d have the match. This was a big fuck you to the fans.

Review of 2001’s WWA Inception PPV (dry humpingest wrestling PPV ever)

OVERALL
Hopefully I won’t give anything away with my review of this card. 2001 is when I had dropped out of college and kept doing what was putting me through college. That was a mistake. This WWA show took place in Australia (which was smart, because the show was packed and hot). Since this show took place right after WCW folded, WWA took a lot of their B-C level guys. The show was headlined by a 7 deadly sins tournament for the new (and cheap looking) WWA heavyweight championship. 7 matches… all with gimmicks (except 1 really…). This is an entertaining PPV, maybe for all of the wrong reasons. Gimmick matches, good wrestling, laughable matches and so on. One notable thing is that Jerry Lawler and Jeremy Borash were on commentary and the commentary was out loud int he arena!

QUARTER FINAL MATCH LADDER MATCH >> JUVENTUD vs PSYCHOSIS
– Juvi went through his talking like the Rock phase and Juvi cut a Rock like promo here. Both luchedores wrestled unmasked since they lost their masks in WCW (terrible idea). I could have sworn this was for the WWA cruiserweight title… but it wasn’t. Good opener.

QUARTER FINAL MATCH DOG COLLAR MATCH >> K-DOG (KONNAN) vs ROAD DOG
– I’m surprised Road Dog wasn’t copyright by the WWE. He even mentioned DX. Konnan came out with his normal shtick, but made a subtle heel out of himself. This was a forgettable and quick match that ended… well with Konnan hog tied (or dog tied) bent over for Road Dogg who dry humped his anus. I don’t think I’d work with Road Dog ever… This was just a taste of things to come.

QUARTER FINAL MATCH HARDCORE MATCH >> DEVON STORM vs NORMAN SMILEY
– This was a good match, but it felt long at times when they had to set up spots. I wish there was more to say that wouldn’t ruin it. Oh plenty of plunder and going around the arena and highspots. Wow there was a lot of big wiggling done to Devon’s butt (2x) and once to Norman’s… I’m surprised WWA didn’t have Norman vs Road Dog to see who could own the anus dry humping move.

QUARTER FINAL MATCH BATTLE ROYAL >> BUFF BAGWELL & DISCO INFERNO & STEVIE RAY & EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WWA INCLUDING REFS, CAMERAMEN, WOMEN… and others…
– Brett Hart as commessioner made an open Battle Royal as a quarter final match… Brilliant idea Bret… Open to everyone in the WWA. This was sheer comedy. It was entertaining, but I can imagine people hating it.

QUARTER FINAL MATCH >> NATHAN JONES vs JEFF JARRETT
– Five quarter-final matches??? A bracketing would have been nice… Australia’s own 7′ tall monster in a match against a heel Jeff Jarrett. Some Australian talk show host was here with Nathan. He took a guitar shot. This match was good and Jeff Jarrett proved he can carry Nathan.

SEMI FINAL 3-WAY MATCH >> LENNY vs LODI vs ROAD DOG
– This was supposed to be whoever won the ladder match vs Road Dog, but whatever. So 2 guys with a gay gimmick came out to face the Road Dog who had just anal humped Konnan in his previous match. They told the story that every 3 way tells, which is eventually the 2 heels break down and its a true 3 way.

SEMI FINAL WHIPPING LUMBERJACK MATCH >> JEFF JARRETT vs BUFF BAGWELL
– I don’t remember much about this match, other than Buff came out with 6 or 8 hotties that had whips that surrounded the ring to whip or massage whoever fell out.

SKIN TO WIN 4-WAY >> NO CLUE vs NO CLUE vs NO CLUE vs MAN IN DRAG
– Thank god the man in drag was in this. Sure you might laugh, but he held this match up and carried it! He worked his ass off. The object of this match was pretty much to rape your opponent. The first 2 women that were wearing string bikini tops were stripped to a lot of boos.

BLACK WEDDING MATCH >> VAMPIRE WARRIOR vs LUNA VACHAUN
– Quick match… Luna wrestled in a thong. They told the story… but failed… that Gangrel didn’t want to hurt his wife. They really failed here. Not a good match, but quick…

CAGE MATCH >> DISCO INFERNO vs FRUITS IN SUITS
– Wow one of the fruits was dumped off of the top of the cage. He was dead… but then came back to life. Sheer comedy. It was great stuff though. Good news… the Fruit in Suit that fell from the cage to the floor was still alive…

WWA TITLE CAGE MATCH FINAL >> JEFF JARRETT vs ROAD DOG
– Good match, a lot of story telling, but I’m sure the fans were very confused when both men left the cage over the top without a finish. Commissioner Bret Hart did guest commentary and kept the belt warm for the guys… Jarrett put a sharp shooter on Road Dog to taunt Bret, then Road Dog put one on Jarrett… That involved Bret… who can’t wrestle a match, but whatever.

IN CONCLUSION
– This was a very entertaining PPV, despite how much anal humping there was. Hot crowd that popped for everything (because Australia hadn’t seen anything). I’d definitely want to see another WWA PPV. It probably did no favors for making wrestling credible.

Review of 1998 WCW Fall Brawl

OVERALL
Hopefully I won’t give anything away with my review of this card. 1998 was a time where I was all gothed up and going to college. I was busy watching WWE at the time. This show took place at the height of WCW vs NWO vs 4 Horsemen vs Wolfpack. It was headlined by a War Games with 3 teams and the winner would get a title shot against Goldberg. This is the first old PPV I’ve watched in years. Well the first PPV in general that I’ve watched in years. The crowd was hot, the matches were awesome. This is a gem of a PPV. Everyone was over no matter what their height or wrestling skills. The heels did heel things and it really made me think WCW knew what they were doing. The heels all had managers to interfere. The heels all cheated or said things douchebaggery. The commentators actually put over the talent and didn’t bicker. One thing though… they need to point out what championship belt their guys are holding. I had to think about things…

ALEX WRIGHT / DISCO INFERNO vs JIM NEIDHART / BRITTISH BULLDOG (BROTHER IN LAWS)
– The opening contest lasted 15 minutes between 4 guys that probably shouldn’t have gone 15 minutes. This was a good opener. Very solid. I couldn’t tell who were the heels really. Maybe they both were.

TV Champion CHRIS JERICHO vs GOLDBERG (PARODY)
– Jericho kicked off the show by challenging Goldberg. So he had his match with Goldberg. Believe it or not Goldberg got a comeback and Jericho was pissed. Spots like that are for all of the fans who come to laugh at Jericho. Its his role.

EARNIST MILLER vs NORMAN SMILEY
– Quick match, pretty forgettable, but Earnist Miller started it out by saying he doesn’t want to hurt another brother so he’s gonna turn around wait 5 seconds and Norman better be gone. Wow what a heel move. WWE and TNA could benefit from little stuff like this.

SCOTT STIENER w/ BUFF BAGWELL vs RICK STIENER
– A match months if not years in the making… this was a hot crowd and it helped everything in the match. It was a brawl that ended up with Buff Bagwell getting injured… really injured, stretcher and an ambulance injured.

Cruiserweight Championship JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs SILVERKING
– Simply said this match was thrown out there cold and it was awesome. I’ve never been a fan of Silver King, but this guy can do anything. Another shocker was the commentators really put over both guys.

RAVEN w/ FLOCK (who will get Saturn as a slave) vs SATURN (who will disband the flock)
– This match had everything… literally. People like to say Jeff Jarrett matches are overbooked (or TNA main events in general), this had swerves, half a dozen run ins, near falls, Kanyon cuffed to ringside. This match was awesome and highly entertaining! They started out with no crazy run ins then when it came to the near falls it was overbooked, but it was fantastic. Good job from both guys and it used everyone very wisely and at the end Saturn was a god among men.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan had kidney cancer removed.

CURT HENNING w/ RICK RUDE vs DEAN MALENKO
– You know its funny people always called Dean a vanilla midget and he’s not the tallest guy… but wow WCW booked this Malenko to have the crowd behind him. Kicking ass all over the place (usually against blonde heels). The fans were whipped into a frenzy and popping for leg locks and leg beatings. How did the WWF fail to get Dean Malenko over? Curt Henning did an amazing job selling, probably the best I’ve seen in years. Rick Rude had to carry him virtually. The only thing strange about this match was the fact this was a normal match, but they had built to it by having a steel cage match on Nitro.

Tag Champion, SCOTT HALL w/ VINCENT vs KONNAN
– Scott Hall was wobbly… Maybe he was drunk. Maybe he was pretending to be drunk… Since Vincent gave him a dark beer… I’ll assume this was his on air alcoholic gimmick. This match told a great story. A short face Konan who got the crowd solidly behind him against a giant cheating Scott Hall. He really used his height to his advantage, cheated, and used Vincent’s interference. Believe it or not the rope cheating spots were unlike every other match on the show. There was also an unforgettable stomping spot and the alcoholic was even put into the Tequila Sunrise. You could tell Konnan was the face… because he didn’t have anyone out with him. No one chanted boring… Maybe because they weren’t in the northeast and maybe because it was WWE who taught their fans to chant boring…

FALL BRAWL MAIN EVENT >> WCW: DDP / WARRIOR / PIPPER vs NWO: STEVIE RAY / HULK HOGAN / LUGER vs WOLFPACK: US Champion, BRET HART / STING / NASH
– Bruce Buffer’s brother got his money to announce the participants. The pinfall or submission could occur at anytime and the winner would get a title shot against Goldberg. This was a brilliant idea on WCW’s part. Having the pin or submission take place at any time draws a lot more interest.
– This match suffered from fundamental flaws of the War Games… The cage is silver and needs to be black so people can see in it. It needed camera holes. It needed to be taller, because no one can powerbomb or dive off the top rope with this dwarfish cage. Oh then to top it off when the Warrior came in they engulfed the ring with smoke not once but twice… preventing anyone from seeing anything. The main story here was Hogan fears Warrior. Another flaw in the War Games logic is the fact that when one man wins a match… no one really knows or can see he won except he’s the one that leaves the cage. With something like Royal Rumble… the winner is the last man standing. Its the final visual of how a match ends and who beats his chest above all the rest that sticks in your mind.

IN CONCLUSION
– Wow WWE and TNA could learn from this show. Simple stories in the matches, long and diverse matches and everyone was over. It was a good time in wrestling… even if it was right before the beginning of the end.