Tag Archives: Austin Aries

TNA mis-booking: Contract vs Contract with no winner or loser

TNA Impact is sliding down the tubes. Crazy new gimmicks, and a guy in charge that books himself in fair fights. TNA Impact last week featured a contract vs contract match between Samoa Joe vs Austin Aries. Basically, a loser leaves town match. Well after five or so minutes in the ring, there was no finish and it was turned into a tag match. They spent the whole show building to this match and even though it wasn’t more than a week of build, it was still a week of build to a promise that meant nothing. MVP even wanted a clean finish with no double pins, double count outs and so on. Why wouldn’t he just want them both out of a contract? Because there’s one spot in TNA? MVP is now a slap dash heel running the show and doesn’t want any faces on the show even if both men act like heels?

Well low and behold, during the match that held 2 men’s careers on the line, there was no finish though. Bully Ray punched out the referee and instead of sending out another referee and throwing out Bully Ray and anyone else that might interfere, it was turned into an 8 man first blood tag team match for that night, instead of the following week. Heck they could have had that match off air for the fans in attendance. The wrestlers could have come out and told the fans, we’re not waiting til next week, we’re having it right now.

As for TNA not giving a result to a loser leaves town match, did TNA feel people would be happy two faces (that act like heels) kept their job? Did they think oh since there wasn’t more than a two hour build, the fans won’t care? Something was promised and it wasn’t delivered, much like the TNA Slammiversary pay-per-view between MVP and Eric Young now that MVP is injured. I’d say Lashley should be the #1 contender, because he has a singles win over Eric Young, even if there was plenty of interference.

On top of that, Samoa Joe just returned and his return match should have been on the pay-per-view. People haven’t seen him wrestle lately and he’s a guy that fans would pay to see wrestle because of his intensity and size.

MVP also forced tag team champions Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards to square off. Its silly having two tag team champions compete against one another with no real threat other than they’ll be stripped of the tag team championship. MVP could have simply forced only Eddie Edwards to wrestle a 3 on 1 handicap match. If Eddie doesn’t wrestle that match or if Davey Richards interferes, they’ll be stripped of the tag titles and won’t be on the pay-per-view. Well Eddie can just lay down and take the pin, but would 3 goons let a man be pinned when their job is to weaken Eddie before his tag title match at the pay-per-view?. That would have been much more effective to wearing them down before this Sunday’s pay-per-view. I’m just not convinced two friends would suddenly give it their all to win a match and not just one finger pin the other.

TNA Impact’s logic is floundering. Maybe my logic is floundering and while people want Davey vs Eddie, it just doesn’t make sense for them to have it without saying this is a #1 contenders match for the TNA title. Even then, two tag team champions might refuse to wrestle one another, but that would still be a good enough way to motivate them into wrestling, but then Eddie might want Davey to have the title shot and give up an easy pin. That is why I still fall back to my 3 on 1 match to weaken one of the Wolves.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (5/29/14)

BULLY RAY PROMO AND BRAWL (a repeat of last week)
He has collected tables to put people through. Its no longer about putting Dixie through a table, its about putting everyone through. MVP eventually comes out… alone, why even bother coming out alone when you have a gang? Why does Bully Ray come out alone when he knows there’s a faction. But oh well, who cares. At least MVP realizes he has a faction. It turns into a replay of last week, a 5 on 1 attack. These stupid faces. Bully Ray, the leader of the last great TNA faction should know not to go against a gang by yourself. We all love Bully Ray, but unless he’s going over all 5 guys, he’s just an idiot with a dead crowd that doesn’t give a fuck with a repeat of last week’s beat down.

Eric Young leads out the troops for the save, which is great. Austin Aries wants 3 on 3 right now! Well there’s 5 heels out there…. and 5 faces. Why not have a 6 man tag with 10 men out there? Spud goes through the table. 

SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH: AUSTIN ARIES & THE WOLVES vs MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY (throw away match)
I really have to wonder, why the man in charge even needs to be wrestling matches. Does a king do his own dirty work? Whatever. Big names are big names. If anything this should be either making the Wolves look like stars or making MVP’s faction look like stars. It is sad that after watching NXT Takeover, these 6 amazing workers just rush through spots and don’t really have the time to tell a story. This could be a big match, but its a throw away opener with no consequence. WWE would make this match the main event with everything on the show building to it. This could have been TNA’s version of Evolution vs the Shield, even if its on a free TV show. Some emphasis should have been put on the guy sent to the hospital last week. Is he still too injured to compete? Nope. Who cares?

MAGNUS & BRAM BACKSTAGE
Yep… more of Bram wanting Magnus to be more heel than he is. Magnus, a guy that said he would do anything to get the title is a guy not getting the title. If anything Magnus should be a face going into this storyline or even trying to encourage a newcomer Bram to be more heel than a heel.

EC3 & DIXIE BACKSTAGE
Dixie has business with MVP. This could have been done with a graphic and the announcers.

TIGRE UNO vs BRAM w/ MAGNUS
I see Uno going down, although TNA could really make a star out of Uno and have him going over clean, because Uno is just above this shit. Bram is a big guy and I hope he gets a push, but I’d rather see a good match against Tigre Uno, but in a page out of the WWE’s book, smaller guys = jobbers. Its a good character builder for Bram. Both Bram and Tigre can look like stars coming out of this with Bram cheating to win, because he’s trying to teach Magnus how to be a bigger heel.

MAGNUS & BRAM ARGUE
Yep be a heel Magnus. What a stupid storyline. Magnus wants Bram to prove himself against Willow. Good. I hope Bram goes over Willow. I’d rather see Tigre Uno vs Willow, but whatever.

MR. ANDERSON & GUNNER BACKSTAGE
Ken wonders what Gunner is doing, and Gunner says Dexter needs help.

BRITTANY & MADISON RAYNE BACKSTAGE
Oh who cares. Filler filler, chicken dinner. All of these backstage segments really take away the mystique of TNA wrestlers. The more backstage of them I see, the less they look like stars.

MR. ANDERSON & GUNNER vs BRO MANS (the right guys win)
TNA often  films two TV shows at one TV taping. Apparently this is the wrestling portion of those two TV tapings, because I know last week’s had little wrestling. The right guys go over since they both have matches headed into the pay-per-view.

MENAGERIE APPEARANCE TO BEATDOWN
They attack the Bro Mans. Rebel now has glow sticks, which is cool since she can’t have fire apparently. Their entrance takes way too long, and the Bro Mans need to sell for them slowly walking to the ring. Should be an awful match coming up at the pay-per-view. The Bro Mans should jump them during their 5 minute walk to the ring, or say, our match is over, bye guys. Its awful. I hope the Bro Mans go over.

DIXIE w/ ETHAN CARTER TALKS TO MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY
Two heels should be sharing power. Is it me or is Ethan Carter just a chump with his facial expressions? It gets interrupted by Eric Young and Bully Ray who MVP then makes a match between the two of them. To make sure it is on the up and up, MVP makes Ethan Carter the guest referee. I have a feeling that will turn into a 2 on 1. If they don’t want to compete, they’ll be fired. Eh I would have made it a title match. That way they’ll compete. Here’s the problem, the match is made an hour into the show.

GAIL KIM & BRITTANY vs VELVET SKYE & ANGELINA LOVE
Well, Brittany has been telegraphing a turn for weeks since Madison Rayne wants nothing to do with her. I think it will be a turn, Rayne will align herself with the Beautiful People, even if Rayne didn’t want to be with them. I know how TNA works. The tag teams all have coordinating outfits, which is a good step to looking like actual tag teams. This was just a match thrown out there for a feud. It is #X in a series of #Y.

MADISON RAYNE & BRITTANY CONFRONTATION
Brittany wants to know why Rayne wouldn’t be her partner tonight in the tag match. Brittany just wants to be with Rayne. TNA is working that lesbian angle. Brittany snaps and wonders why Rayne doesn’t like her? Enter the Beautiful People to stir the pot. I’m not sure who the face is in all of this. Rayne wants the title and she has a shot next week.

ETHAN CARTER, MVP, KENNY KING & BOBBY LASHLEY BACKSTAGE
They have Ethan’s back. Yep.

ERIC YOUNG vs BULLY RAY
Well the deck was stacked like an Austin match in the late 90s. Kenny King was the ring announcer, Ethan Carter was the guest referee, Bobby Lashley as the guest enforcer and MVP as a guest time keeper (because he’s the one with the ticking clock in his theme music). Fuck this logic, if you’re going to kick their ass, just kick their ass. They can have 4 on 2, 5 if Spud is okay. Where are the other faces to even the odds?

IN CONCLUSION
This was just a pain of a card. TNA is building toward too many matches on their pay-per-view and cramming it on one show is just excessive.

Notice to all TNA wrestlers, coordinate your attacks!

With MVP in power, and having his own faction, apparently TNA has a big problem with 3 on 1 attacks and 3 on 2 attacks. If only TNA wrestlers could coordinate their attacks to be 3 on 3. Take for instance how the Wolves get beat down 3 on 2. Then Eric Young runs in well after the Wolves have been beat down. Several times on the last episode of Impact, someone would run in well after the three man faction was done beating someone down. Too late to help, too late for them to help that wrestler from getting down.

TNA has this history of heel factions that take the faces a year to overcome when really, just clear out the locker room to help. Mike Tennay says that everyone in the back is afraid of MVP. Afraid of what? If MVP was going to fire someone, he would have done it already!

To top that off, last week, we saw Eddy Edwards, Austin Aries, Eric Young and Bully Ray all swoop in for the save. I’m sure Davey Richards would have run in if he weren’t stretchered out to kick off the show. His partner Eddy Edwards didn’t go with him, because he must have had revenge on the mind, but he didn’t even see his partner to the ambulance.

But if you’re keeping count, that’s 4 guys that if they coordinate their attack, they could outnumber the 3 heels and even things up with their new heel referee.

It is also astounding that one on one matches get made by the heel that runs the faction and runs the company. Why would you put your guys in one on one matches, even if your faction will just all jump in 5 minutes into the match?

Oh better yet, why would MVP, a man of power put himself into a singles match? Powerful men like presidents, kings and managers don’t put themselves into fights. Especially not fair fights mono e mono.

I would tell the wrestlers to get a clue and to band together for one coordinated attack, but no. I’ll just tell the writers to get a clue and stop such idiotic booking. At least your knockouts contender managed to run off two heels.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (5/22/14)

MVP PROMO WITH KENNY KING AND BOBBY LASHLEY (explaining why he’s heel but it doesn’t make sense)
MVP is a heel now. He explained his heel turn last week, but now he’s explaining that you can’t just be a great wrestler. You need to be a politician to get power. Yep with all that power the 3 of you clowns can’t get Eric Young’s title. MVP is good on the mic, but this is all just idiotic. King had matches against both Lashley and MVP. Well it was all a plan. Yep. Totally a plan.

WOLVES SHOW UP (and get beat down)
This explanation explained nothing. MVP hired them both. So the Wolves hit the ring. He hired them both too, perhaps are they a part of the plan? Nah. They’re upset for being used. They might have said you used us… and then jumped them! MVP’s boys would have the numbers so they’d win, or just bail because they have the power even if they don’t have the might. So MVP could book them in handicaps. You don’t bite the hand, I used you and you need to be cool with that. Why do your own dirty work when you can just make tough matches? Heck even if the Wolves were to win a tough match, that just means there’s one more match to go!

Nope two of your top faces lost the attack and get speared off a stage from Lashley. Then Kenny King giggles like a schoolgirl or laughs like the 1970s Joker. I can see TNA’s ratings dropping. Its just another heel faction in power.

ERIC YOUNG STORMS IN BACKSTAGE

ERIC CARTER III AND AUNT DIXIE ARRIVE

ERIC YOUNG TRIES TO CUT A PROMO AND GETS CUT OFF BY MVP
Holy fuck why can’t we get past evil factions? Why are there no face factions to spit in their faces and take them out? If Abyss is a face again, why can’t Eric go to Abyss and say, back me up? He can say Abyss, you like hurting people, help me hurt people. Sure Abyss can just turn on Eric Young or Abyss can point out that MVP gave him a job again, but its worth a shot. Eric can go to Austin Aries even. Then they go to the one remaining Wolf and have a 6 man?

Beatdown and Rescue by Austin Aries followed by a challenge!
Eric Young mentions Bobby Lashley sold out. MVP mentions that Lashley didn’t take a shortcut yet yes he did. Oh well. Eric Young says passionate words before attacking and getting beat down by three men. Aries runs in. He must have just gotten there like Eric Young got there 5 or so minutes ago. I have a feeling Aries is really with MVP because he’s wearing black and he fought against MVP. So it makes sense by TNA logic that he’ll turn on Eric Young Later.

Anyway, I smell a 6 man match. Nope. MVP vs Austin Aries

BRAM CONVINCES A HEEL MAGNUS TO BE A HEEL (its crazy i know)
Magnus says he’s getting tired of Brahm so he punches Bram, who laughs and says that’s what we want. Then Magnus helps him up. Huh? ok.

ANGELINA LOVE ISSUES AN OPEN CHALLENGE AND GETS JUMPED BY ANGELINA LOVE (because faces need to weaken heels by using heel tactics).
I can’t keep up with this typing. There could have been a brawl, but after Love throws the first punch.

DAVEY RICHARDS STRETCHERED AWAY (where was his tag partner?)
At least show his partner in the shot. His partner must not give a fuck that his teammate is being stretchered out. Maybe he’s injured somewhere himself. SHOW HIM. Maybe I missed him.

ANGELINA LOVE vs  NOT GAIL KIM (its really Brittany)
We’re now around 25 – 30 minutes in and its the first match. It was a little dumb of Angelina to issue an open challenge, and it excludes all former champions. That works. Otherwise I was going to say the challenge was answered before Gail got there. Gail and Love is the money match. Brittany is the jobber and should be in this case. The referee was distracted by Velvet Skye…. YET VELVET COULDN’T HELP CHRIS SABIN! Gail Kim clears house after the match. Sadly, I just don’t care about Gail vs Love as the money match. I still have 0 interest.

KEN AND JAMES STORM AT A BAR (heel and face role reversal)
Ken wants to play games, James Storm is hostile. James Storm came across as a face and Ken Anderson was just a joke. Beer drinking contest later.

AUSTIN ARIES vs MVP (because men of power fight their own battles)
It is a great match on paper. A money match even, but the logic behind the match is just backward. No president, or king fight their own battles. A man of power should not fight his own battles and if he were to fight his own battles, why would he want to face someone one on one? People of power should be untouchable!!! That’s why Dixie is hiding from Bully Ray.

The match ends with Kenny King causing a DQ via interference. Why not just start the match that way? Why even wrestle? Eric Young runs in and gets beat down. Its just a numbers game. Mike Tennay says everyone is frightened for their jobs. Well if MVP was going to fire anyone… why hasn’t he? MVP announces Lashley vs Eric Young. why doesn’t the title match START RIGHT NOW?

DIXIE INTERRUPTS (and it makes less sense)
MVP asks her didn’t he ban her from Impact? Well the new heel faction moves in on the old faction. Two heels arguing. Dixie says she doesn’t interfere. Yet she’s interfering right there. Dixie says she can do something for MVP. Enter Bully Ray who chases away Dixie and Ethan Carter. MVP asks Bully why he’s there when they’ve been banned?

BULLY AND MVP FACE OFF LEADING TO FACEOFF AGAINST DIXIE CARTER (faces need to attack in numbers)
Bully even wonders why MVP is picking on Eric Young. Soon gets jumped by 3 men. Well with Bully Ray beat down, Dixie tells Ethan to get the tables. For someone so entitled, he should have his butler Spud get the tables. While this was a good balancing of momentum, they were banned. MVP could have had security escort them out where they do this all outside. But well this is wrestling. And again, why don’t these faces attack in numbers?

GUNNER & DEXTER IN PADDED ROOM
Well, Gunner has a serious message about things. Which is good. Its a good message. Gunner will be there for Dexter. Who’s Dexter? I don’t know. Is he still obsessed about Christy Hemme? Is that why he’s in there. Gunner wants to get the straight jacket off of him. You know he can’t leave until you’re discharged.

THE LONE WOLF EDDY EDWARDS vs KENNY KING (because 1 face didn’t learn from every other face that lost)
Why does he want a piece of them in the ring? Why not attack backstage? Why attack them by yourself when the 3 of them will just clobber you? Plus why would Kenny King just go out there by himself? I have a feeling the other 2 will just jump the Lone Wolf Eddy Edwards. If only he went to the hospital with his partner. All of these polite one on one matches make me think some face must be booking matches to be this nice. Nope a heel in charge is making these one on one matches. Perhaps if he told us that with all of these faces weakened earlier in the show he has no doubts that they won’t be able to divide and conquer mono e mono.

The majority of the match takes place outside, but I don’t think its a match. Shouldn’t there be security pulling them apart. You know they do have a regularly scheduled program to go on, but no these two guys are brawling in the ring. Kenny King wins this non match.

DRINKING CONTEST >> JAMES STORM OVER KEN ANDERSON
Yep. Ken gets James beer like he’s a bitch, but I think Ken is getting the heel wasted to make it easier to beat him up. Its like Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd.

MVP BUYS OFF A REF BACKSTAGE (not with money)

JAMES STORM & KEN ANDERSON DRUNK
Enough. Ken Anderson beats down James Storm. Ken could have just broke a bottle over his head an hour ago.

ERIC YOUNG BACKSTAGE PROMO (yep, he’s not 100% but Lashley will get 100% of what he’s got left)
Eric says he’ll show Lashley how crazy he’ll get. I want garbage cans, chairs, cheating. TNA always had an obscure DQ loses a title in a title match. However, this isn’t a title match? Why? Maybe MVP wants to weaken Eric Young before MVP takes the title/ I’ll never know. TNA didn’t explain that.

ERIC YOUNG vs BOBBY LASHLEY (I predict a 3 on 1 with a bought ref)
While I really like Eric Young, he’s not really dazzling in the ring. He doesn’t make me feel its a main event. TNA has never been one for a big drama, slow told story in the ring like the WWE has bee. TNA is more of the dynamic guys that can fly, mat wrestle and do anything in the ring (even if the past 3 major championship runs have been dull, limited heels for 2 – 3 years). I’m shocked that TNA hasn’t turned Eric heel yet, like other top recent champions. He’s still a great, strong champion that goes over clean, but I just don’t think there’s anything that sets him above the rest in terms of in the ring. He’s not flashy, even if he’s a solid champion with the crowd firmly behind him.

Naturally Kenny King and MVP run in, but the referee is cool with it. Well what the fuck. There is no sport in wrestling. One day they’ll really piss Eric Young off by shaving his beard! Austin Aries runs in well after the victory…. to get beat down! Oh you faces. Coordinate your attacks so its not always 2 on 3 or 1 on 3. Mike Tennay says everyone is intimidated by MVP.

PROS:

  • The way the open challenge was handled
  • Momentum balance between Bully and Ethan

CONS:

  • Faces can’t work as a unit to overthrow new heel faction
  • Solo matches with a heel in charge
  • Referee distracted by Velvet Skye’s ass when she couldn’t help Chris Sabin win a few months ago
  • 0 interest in Gail vs Love even with a build
  • Talking, lots of talking
  • Heel faction was everywhere!

Everything Right with TNA Impact (07/05/12)

BULLY RAY PROMO on TWITTER (legal action)
Oh good… TNA has been bit by the Twitter bug. Those suck more than kajiggers… which burrow down into your skin. Bully questions Joseph Park has the pair of nuts to smack him in the face. Joseph Park comes down to the ring. The crowd is hot. Joseph gives Bully Ray a legal lesson with presidency. Abyss / Chris / Joseph Park has always had an impressive presence and even in a suit its no different. Joseph accepts the challenge with no rules. Bully Ray pulls out a paper… using the Christopher Daniels methodology of heat. It is a restraining order against Abyss.

AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE w/ HULK HOGAN (good and brief)
This was good. Aries is a fresh, good character. Hogan wants the belt tonight.

DANIELS / DIXIE RECAP w/ DIXIE BACKSTAGE
Daniels says Claire Lynch is preggers. AJ Styles is the daddy! Mu-ah-ha-ha-ha. Then Dixie is backstage with the road agents. She is asked questions by the mysterious interviewer and there is no answers.

CRIMSON vs DEVON (quick match that sets up something for someone else)
Crimson loses his streak at the last pay-per-view and disappears from TV for 3 weeks… so he gets a title shot. At least show how Crimson has been winning at house shows. Why isn’t Crimson in the BFG Series? He was undefeated for 18 months. Devon is a gatekeeper for D level talent. I have no problem with Devon in this role. It keeps him strong and gives an evaluation of lesser talent. Crimson makes one of the crappiest pin attempts ever that somehow ends up with Devon on top. Quick match thank goth.

Madison Rayne comes marching to the ring. I think she wants some chocolate. Nope its someone else she wants. I fully expected this after a few months ago. This could build to a title reign for someone.

CHRIS SABIN PROMO (a heel needs heat)
Sabin is on crutches. He has some thick sideburns. It is a horrifying shame that he injured both ACLs, one after another. This has to be extremely discouraging since he’s not a main eventer. TNA probably doesn’t pay all the bills. He needs to have another job and that’s a shame. The fans are firmly behind him.

Out comes Robert Roode. This is another guy that should quit if he had two ACL injuries… even if he is a main eventer. He gets heat by verbally running him down and saying its just like every other X-Divisioner. Roode kicks out Sabin’s crutch. It really sucks that I feel anyone else could do the same job or better than Robert Roode. Austin Aries runs in for the save.

X-DIVISION >> DAKOTA DARSOW vs FLIP CASSANOVA (Dakota couldn’t keep up his end)
Dakota Darsow is the son of Barry Darsow. Nothing wrong with that. Flip looks like Sonjay Dutt… and the first words out of Mike Tennay’s mouth are Sonjay Dutt. Some sloppy high-flying from Flip Cassady off the bat, but he makes up for it with a backflip senton butt splash. Dakota Darsow is really struggling to keep up or even maintain himself. I hope Flip wins. Darsow has a long way to go. He’s got a good look, but I don’t see X-Division from him. I see TV title division. Dakota Darsow has a bloody nose. Good little match. Dakota Darsow didn’t keep up his end of the bargain.

Flip has some of Dakota’s blood on him. Flip waits to be interviewed and gets nothing…

BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA BACKSTAGE
Brooke has a tag match with Tara. Tara calls her Boo 2x. Very quick.

GUT CHECK RECAP >> TAYLOR HENDRIX
She didn’t like that she was called not tough enough. The camera loves her and so do you fans. If only her name wasn’t Taeler Hendrix. I chose not to spell her name correctly, since she chose to say she’s a cancer survivor when she’s really a misdiagnosed. Like oh I thought I was pregnant, but it was just gas.

MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM vs BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA (match makes Tara looks good)
Next week Gail Kim gets her title shot… I thought it was this week, but whatever. It should probably be on the pay-per-view. Does anyone remember when it was Terra? Mike Tennay mentions the main event, James Storm vs Jeff Hardy. I totally forgot. This match was quicker than most TNA knockout’s matches. Short match, more of a win.

JAMES STORM LOCKDOWN RECAP w/ JEFF HARDY MATCH HYPE
James Storm recaps Lockdown then talks about Jeff Hardy. Not much here.

AJ PROMO on CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (dropping the angle)
He yells out at Christopher Daniels…. who thankfully comes out to save this segment. Don’t let AJ Styles talk about this ever. KAZ comes out with Daniels and says AJ gets junkie whores pregnant. Daniels has a martini glass… an empty one from the look of it. Christopher Daniels starts some long-winded speech and AJ just tells him to shut up. Holy shit this feud has been going on for a full year. That’s not a compliment. That’s a … let’s move on! I consider the Claire Lynch angle officially dropped by TNA.

HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE interrupted by MASKED MAN
Hogan doing an interview, gets interrupted by one of the masked men that attacked Sting a few weeks ago. He delivers a piece of paper with some carts on it. At least they mentioned the angle.

JEFF HARDY VIDEO
He’s inspired by this series since he missed last year’s series. He wants to end the selfish generation. I kind of thought Jeff Hardy lead the selfish generation what with the drugs and house explosions.

X-DIVISION >> KENNY KING vs LARS ONLY (another X-division match)
Kenny King from ROH and I think from WWE Tough Enough season 2. Good to see someone from any Tough Enough season in still in wrestling. Good match, longer and less reckless than the other match. Lars did some sort of leg trip, leg sweep that looked painful to Kenny King. Tazz said it sucked, but I think that’s how it was supposed to look… painful. I don’t have much to say about this match. I think Christie Hemmy announced Kenny as Kenny Kane.

Christie interviews Kenny King. The fans are behind him in more ways than one.

I’ve come to realize that none of TNA’s own X-Division guys has a match on TV even if they’ll get matches on the Destination X pay-per-view. Bring in new guys and have them go for the title. If anything hopefully Sonjay Dutt will get the X-Division title.

AUSTIN ARIES BEFORE THE BELL PREVIEW (good show everyone seems to love it)
I’ve seen the Before the Bell special with Austin Aries. It is full of good phrases. So many good phrases, you don’t even need to watch it, just listen for 30 minutes which 24 of it is Austin Aries talking.

KENNY KING & AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE (good rub for Kenny King)
They know each other… and they’re happy. Good rub for Kenny King who then disappears so Austin can get asked about relinquishing the belt. Yep.

BFG LEADERBOARD
James Storm > Samoa Joe > Magnus > Kurt Angle

BFG SERIES >> JAMES STORM vs JEFF HARDY (Storm sells for Hardy)
Wow this main event is starting early. It makes me think Claire the junkie slut will be the main event. Jeff Hardy comes out looking like a performance artist on coke. He shares a moment with the crowd. It must suck that Jeff Hardy is still over James Storm. Even if Hardy loses 100 times to Storm… it will still be Jeff Hardy > James Storm. There are plenty of dueling chants. There are a lot of lockups and holds… because this is the main event and they have the time. They come back from commercial and Tazz talks about how crazy it got in the commercial with a street fight on the outside… yet no video clips. It is so hilarious watching James Storm sell for Jeff Hardy, who is too weak to muscle him into selling. Like a leg trip, you see James Storm start falling before Jeff Hardy pulls him. You see the camera angles shift so viewers don’t see the miss between Jeff Hardy’s feet and Storm’s face. Now 100% of the fans are behind Jeff Hardy… who has 90% of the offense of this match. But when James Storm gets a move, Jeff Hardy sells like he’s dead for way too long. But whatever. Good match, gives fans time to get invested in the outcome.

After the match, the winner gives the loser a handshake. Good clean match.

BFG LOCATION
Mike Tennay and Tazz announce that Bound for Glory is going to Phoenix, AZ.

BACKSTAGE w/ KURT ANGLE then MR. ANDERSON
They both briefly talk about the BFG Series and Tennay plugs Mr. Anderson vs Kurt Angle. Then Brooke Tessmacher vs Gail Kim. Bully Ray vs Joseph Park.

HULK HOGAN ANGLE w/ …
This puts a lot of heat on Austin Aries. Anyway, Hogan does a good job of plugging Destination-X, Jeff Hardy, James Storm and Austin Aries. Robert Roode comes out. Robert Roode is so generic. Like he checks all the boxes that meet with a great heel… except for personality. As I’ve pointed out before the real feud seems to be Hulk Hogan & Robert Roode. Roode always has great points. I just wish it was coming from someone better. Austin Aries comes out… Austin Aries gives this match and Roode’s title heat.

lol when Austin and Roode get in each other’s faces… the fans chant for Hogan. Aries ends up holding up both belts and it looks awesome. Great job TNA. Aries gives Hogan the X-Division title and holds up the TNA world title to close the show.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (6/28/12)

AJ STYLES & DIXIE CARTER BACKSTAGE (brief)
Another brief backstage thing with AJ saying he’s gonna beat up Daniels and Kazarian. At least this was quick and painless compared to Derrek Bateman backstage at NXT. I still feel that TNA can salvage the Clare Lynch / AJ / Dixie / Daniels / KAZ storyline and you can read about it here… (http://wp.me/p1Prve-j9)

BFG >> MR. ANDERSON vs RVD (surprisingly good … maybe because it wasn’t bad)
Mr. Anderson looks at the mic too long. He talks too long. Do we have any assholes in the building tonight. Yayyyy he’s swearing He swore! Let’s cheer him. He hails from Green Bay Wisconsin. As a Chicagoan… you shouldn’t be proud of that, but whatever. Tennay runs down Mr. Anderson winning 2 points at a TNA live event for a time limit draw. When TNA goes to a commercial they need to throw up the wins / losses in a round robin graph.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. As of last year… I never want to see this match again. Tennay mentions that there is now a 15 minute time limit. I’d rather have a 10 minute time limit, but whatever. RVD does an Indian death lock and Anderson crawls out of it which made it very awkward for RVD. RVD has some good submissions and Anderson has some legitimate fight out of the submissions. Looked good. Over the past few months Anderson has gotten better… and this comment comes from someone that doesn’t like him. RVD has some very beautiful moves and submissions.

The crowd stays hot for this match and that’s what’s really important. This was a good little match and it was the right amount of time for me to get into it and actually care, which is something I couldn’t say about any match last week. James Storm > Samoa Joe > Kurt Angle > Mr Anderson > RVD so far in the BFG Series

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO (good, not gold)
TNA shows that someone else is coming to the ring. They play his music and I have no idea who’s coming to the ring… then they reveal its Austin Aries. Oh yeah. I have no idea what his entrance looks like and I watch every week.

Aries explains his choice last week to sacrifice the belt… that would be something good for the Sacrifice PPV. He also explains that the X-Division will have a tournament at Destination X to determine the new title. Good. That was my idea last year, along the lines of the Super Junior tournament in Japan.

Robert Roode comes down. He looks like an accountant. Austin Aries looks like a magician, but I’d rather pay to see a magician than pay to see an accountant. Robert Roode says that he’s made the belt worth something. See I disagree. He needs more clean wins. Austin Aries has had good clean wins. Roode points out the BFG series will have 12 men fighting for a chance at the title. Well Aries should point out that the X-Division will have a tournament. Robert Roode brings up Hulk Hogan. Makes me think the real feud here is Hogan vs Roode not Roode vs Storm or even the man he’s standing with.

Aries heats things up when he dares Roode to take him out of his rings. The crowd is hot. They get read, then Roode bails. Aries should have jumped at him when Roode bailed.

CLARE LYNCH RECAP / CLARE LYNCH BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW w/ DIXIE (terrible)
Terrible stuff. Their backstage interviewer is no longer Jason Hervy. The interviewer asks her how she met Dixie. Oh through a party at Dixie’s. Uggg. Terrible.

DANIELS & KAZ BACKSTAGE
They argue. Too brief to be good or bad.

X-DIVISION QUALIFIER >> SONJAY DUTT vs RUBIX (2 guys thrown out there cold fire up the crowd)
Dutt is back! At least for a month. He’s been in TNA’s other promotion Ring Ka King in India. I’ve heard of Rubix. This should be highly entertaining. Hopefully they can rekindle the X-Division now that its dead. But how rekindled can it be when TNA has the Bound for Glory Series? Rubix has a great look. He’s crisp and very quick. Sonjay himself is a great pro and always has been. Its great when 2 guys who haven’t been in the company or in the company for 2+ years can come in and fire up the crowd like this with no introduction. A sick backflip double stomp finisher. Clean victory. Good stuff even if it was quick. The fans are firmly behind the winner. The winner is stopped by Christy Hemme and he says says he’s never been TNA X-Division championship, so that’s his goal.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX EVALUATION
Tazz, Al Snow & Bruch Prichard backstage in the trailer to talk. Its in pure work mode. They question if she’s green or game ready. I think she’s ready with a lot of growth potential. Tazz hates when people come in with a sense of entitlement… and Taylor doesn’t have that. Bruce questions if they’ll buy a PPV because she’s on it. Truth be told so many people have found my reviews of TNA Impact because of Taylor Hendrix. Yes. She is a draw. A skinny chick with big implants. She’s a draw. Plus she’s fresher than 9/10ths of the knockouts.

BFG >> SAMOA JOE vs BULLY RAY (hard hitting and heavy lifting)
It astounds me how TNA can throw guys out cold or spend years making them lose, yet the crowd is always hot for them. This match should be awesome and at some point I would have paid for it. The crowd even knows its awesome before it happens. They’re soaking it in before they wrestle. Fans are heavy chanting through the match. This match is as you’d expect…. hard hitting and heavy lifting. What’s strange and good is Bully Ray is working the arm. Bully Ray even does a running frog splash. Toward the end of the match Joseph Park runs to the ring, Bully Ray puts his hands on Joseph who then slaps him hard. The crowd explodes.

JOSEPH PARK PROMO (good stuff)
After the match, Joseph says he’s been bullied all his life. So he challenges Bully tonight! Now he says in 2 weeks from tonight. What? Oh well 2 weeks Bully vs Joseph Park.

DIXIE & CLARE BACKSTAGE (bad)
Dixie explains all. Wow this is done in such a sterile environment to keep the fans out of it. Dixie explains Christopher Daniels twisted the facts. Daniels caught Dixie and AJ Styles planning a surprise birthday party for Dixie’s husband Serge.

KAZ & HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE (bad and dumb)
LOL wow KAZ is backpedaling. He wants to bail on Daniels. Again they can really salvage this angle if Daniels comes out and says that AJ & Dixie are lying. This woman Clare Lynch is a serrogate mother holding Dixie’s fertilized egg with AJ’s sperm. Go further not pull back. Or hell just drop it like the Sting and three masked men angle. I wanted KAZ to stay face or go heel. Not both.

MADISON RAYNE & GARRETT BISCHOFF BACKSTAGE (quick)
Garrett is wearing a bowling shirt. Madison Rayne has this crush… so she’s wondering ‘what’s he like?’ I bet its Robbie E.

2 BROOKES & 1 GAIL (the rematch is set)
Brooke Hogan tells Brooke Tessmacher that she’s the new Direct Auto spokesperson. Gail Kim arrives and it gets interesting without getting bad. Gail wants her rematch. Hogan… Brooke Hogan tells her next week she gets a rematch.

X-DIVISION QUALIFIER >> RASHAAD CAMERON vs MASON ANDREWS (high octane recklessness)
Cameron has a great look, black guy with a fro and colorful tights. He looks different. He doesn’t feel like an X-Division guy. Mason Andrews has a spring in his step. The crowd is less hot for this match. There are plenty of ooos and ahhhs. Mason has some great areal work and almost kills himself corkscrewing not high enough over the top rope to the outside. Rashaad isn’t the best worker and neither is Mason. Rashaad seems to be safer like he works a main event style while Rashaad works an X division style. Mason Andrews looks very bland even if his moves are totally flashy. Maybe he needs a mask. The fans chant this is awesome at some sloppy work. Quick match and that’s okay. The winner says that the fans know they’re looking at the next X-Division champion! Good. The fans boo him. Even better!

HULK HOGAN & JAMES STORM BACKSTAGE w/ JEFF HARDY (how’s everybody)
James Storm asks about Sting. Hogan asks about James. Hogan says next week Storm vs Jeff Hardy. This was quick and you know what’s next week. TNA is fun right now. They give you stuff to look forward to. They’re building to things and they’re using matches to prove the best.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX DECISION (the interruption)
I say she gets it, but who knows. Tazz, Al Snow and Bruce Prichard make the decision. Taylor this is a beauty pageant, make sure to wave like a queen. Tazz says… what the fans say. Al Snow says… There’s someone in the crowd… and its Joey Ryan with a sign. Awesome. He should get dragged away by security. Joey is challenging Tazz and bang there’s security. Live television. Al Snow says something. Leaving one final man to tie break! Taylor is force to cut a promo. Good promo, bad delivery. Sounded whinny, forced and not real. Bruce Prichard says he doesn’t think she’s mean enough. Huh? Whatever. Tara is mean enough and she doesn’t go anywhere. She’s the sympathetic babyface. Oh and for the dozens of people writing me in wonder, she had been misdiagnosed with cancer. She’s not a survivor.

KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (an announcement)
AJ announces that he and Daniels have a last man standing match at Destination X. Should be good…. if we didn’t see it every month for the past 4+ months.

TAG TITLES >> KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES vs CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZ
So from this show we’ve learned KAZ doesn’t want to be with Daniels. Clare Lynch and Dixie Carter are ringside watching. At the last pay-per-view this was the match of the show if not TNA’s 2012.

This really tells the story of KAZ turning on Daniels. When Angle tries to suplex Daniels and Daniels hangs onto KAZ, KAZ hits Daniels to get him to let go so Angle can suplex him. Then KAZ turns on Daniels and gives him to AJ Styles. Good little match, but not the same…

DANIELS DECLARES AJ IS THE FATHER!

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (6/21/12)

TNA OPENING RECAP (brief, but star making)
Roode recap. Aries recap. Good stuff… because they’re faces. People care about both of them. Aries is on fire. Brief recap. TNA has been getting a lot better lately. Like I can’t wait for TNA Impact every week. I’m not the only person saying that.

HULK HOGAN & AUSTIN ARIES ANGLE (headed to Aries execution)
As much as I don’t care what Hogan has to say… I think… he’s not Robert Roode or HHH starting off a 2 hour wrestling show… so that makes me happy. Tonight is Gut Check and Open Fight Night. TNA will have its first female Gut Check challenger. They’ve also got the Bound for Glory Series. I’m actually looking forward to this.

Hogan wants an answer from Aries if he will give up his X-Division championship for a title shot at Robert Roode at Destination X. See this is a terrible idea, a bad idea and a good idea all at once. It is a good idea, because Austin Aries doesn’t need to be beat to give up a low-end title. It is a bad idea because I’d much rather see Aries vs AJ Stylez main event Destination X and its a terrible idea, because Roode’s storyline trumps Austin Aries career. Aries should not come to an end. If anything Aries should be the man to take the belt even if the angle is designed for James Storm to get the top title.

Austin Aries wants any X-Division champion to have the opportunity to give up the title for a top title shot at the Destination X. Good idea I guess, since it puts heat on the belt… once a year. Robert Roode comes out and blah blah blah. It ends in a hockey fight. Yes a shirt pulling hockey fight before its broken up. Then Mr. Anderson appears with microphone in hand. He doesn’t have his blonde hair. Don’t ever let Anderson talk. Anderson says he’ll win the Bound for Glory Series. Please no. Oddly enough Mr. Anderson wasn’t terrible on the microphone. He was okay.

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES SCORE SYSTEM (Thank goth they talk about it.)
Same as last year. Good idea to show how scoring is done. Still lose 10 points for a DQ and there is now a 10 minute time limit for each match. Good. I like that. Gives a chance for draws.

BFG >> MR. ANDERSON vs CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (good for its clean victory)
Mr. Anderson challenges Christopher Daniels. Again, don’t let Mr. Anderson talk. Christopher Daniels comes out with an appletini. I remember this match from a month ago. Very meh in terms of crowd heat compared to most TNA matches in the past few months. Good clean finish. Thank you TNA. I laugh at how Mike Tenney calls something a patented move… when so many people do it. The victory celebration is silly if not dumb.

AJ & DIXIE BACKSTAGE (time filler)
She wants to tell everyone… This is a time filler. We saw 2 of these last week. I expect to see 2 more tonight.

BROOKE HOGAN w/ ODB / MICKIE JAMES / VELVET SKYE / MADISON RAYNE (pretty bad)
This was done reality style… They’re discussing who gets the Knockouts title. Brooke wants to know why they want the title. This does put heat on the Knockouts title. Wow this does not make any of the four glow in a positive light. This was designed to make Brooke Hogan look good and like the only sane person.

BFG >> ROBBIE E vs KURT ANGLE (effective)
Robbie E does a good open challenge that is answered by Angle. I predict a destruction of both Robbie E and Rob Terry. Great victory. Made the winner look very effective.

TAYLOR HENDRIX GUT CHECK VIDEO (interesting story)
She’s got red hair. That’s what’s missing from wrestling. None of her footage had red hair. In fact her footage makes her look like Mickie James this is a plus for her… but not Mickie. She announces that she was diagnosed with cancer at age 21.

BFG >> MAGNUS vs AJ STYLEZ (an ok match too short to be good)
This episode of Impact is going by quick. Magnus calls out someone, it goes to commercial. I have a feeling its Joe. Nope its AJ Stylez. Funny how all of these open challenges call out home wreckers. ODB should call out the Wedding Planner next. Magnus catches AJ off the top rope with a ragdoll catch then turns it into a suplex. That looked good. AJ misses a Pele kick. Apparently what he and Dixie are going through is messing with him. Daniels & KAZ interfere. At least they haven’t interfered in a while.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX vs TARA (give her a job)
She looks like she’s in the hot girl marching band… implants… so she’ll fit in with TNA’s abnormal sized implants. Tara comes down to the ring. Good choice. I would have had Gail Kim, but I guess Gail has more of a character. So what do we grade here? Her ability to sell? Do we grade Taylor Hendrix ability to mimmick Mickie James?

I say give Taylor Hendrix a TNA contract. She’s hot with crisp work and mega implants that TNA loves. We haven’t seen a new knockout in at least a year. Get rid of Angelina Love or Winter. What have they done lately?

In fact since Brooke Tessmacher hasn’t been here this week, they can have Taylor get a job next week and have Brooke return to say She’s not Taylor… she’s some stalker from my former sorority!

JOSEPH PARK & BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE (too brief to be gold)
Bully Ray bullies the giant Joseph Park who brings up his brother… Bully Ray doesn’t want to see Joseph Park in the crowd. This was good… stoopid bastad.

BFG >> SAMOA JOE vs JAMES STORM (on the verge of good, but not long enough)
Since no one has the guts to call out Samoa Joe, he calls out James Storm. Should be good, but every match on this show has been 2 – 4 minutes. A win is a win even if its not really a match. Tazz & Tennay hype the fact James Storm has been away from active competition. There is a dueling chant… which is good. Joe dumps James on his head with a power slam. After the match Joe comes at James Storm with a beer bottle… I won’t ruin what happens next.

AJ / DIXIE / DANIELS ANGLE VIDEO RECAP
Yep AJ & Dixie have a surprise for Serge. It’s probably like an autograph from Serge’s favorite baseball player. Good recap of a terrible angle that gives AJ an excuse to lose.

AJ & DIXIE BACKSTAGE (again)
Time filler… AJ wants to get it done tonight. It’s funny because last week AJ wanted it done… then he didn’t and Dixie wanted to. Now this episode starts its Dixie that wants to… and now its AJ. Well now that everyone’s on the same page.

BROOKE HOGAN w/ 3 of the 4 women (too quick to be as bad as it could)
Eh its getting sane. Brooke is kinda pointing out how silly the women are. And someone leaves. Quick.

BFG >> BULLY RAY vs POPE (The ghost of Abyss)
… Pope is back after being gone 6+ months. Crimson was undefeated for 18 months. Why is he not in this series? Whatever. Anyway, comes down to the ring and challenges Pope. Bully Ray needs a racist gimmick to make up for all the black men he beats down. So I guess RVD vs Jeff Hardy will be the main event… I predict another 2 – 4 minute match between Bully Ray and Pope. Interestingly Pope has a punching / elbow combination just like Bully Ray has a punching combo. At some point Abyss comes through the crowd. Terrifying some of the ring rats at ringside. Abyss is just like a ghost haunting Bully Ray.

HOGAN BACKSTAGE w/ JEFF HARDY & RVD
Makes Jeff Hardy vs RVD… yup.

DESTINATION X TRAILER w/ AUSTIN ARIES
Its awesome. Makes him look like a star.

MONTGUMARY GENTRY MUSIC VIDEO starring VELVET SKYE
So she’s a single mother? Or its just acting. This is more Velvet’s video than Montgumary Gentries. They don’t show all of it… but this just proves… get big implants so you can be a star. Even reality shows know the value of implants.

BROOKE HOGAN BACKSTAGE w/ 2 of 4 FINALISTS
This might as well have been a beauty pageant. Quite the shock outcome. Kept quick.

KNOCKOUTS TITLE >> TESSMACHER vs FINALIST
Congrats to TNA for making a new female star with Miss. Tessmacher. Beautiful moves from the finalist. Lots of butt shots from the camera. I wish I didn’t have to report on that… but that’s where the cameras are. This match will probably do TNA’s biggest rating of the night… even with the terrible build. Miss Tessmocher is selling more than Taylor Hendrix. Good clean finish.

BFG >> RVD vs JEFF HARDY (failed to interest me)
Yep its a match. I remember when people would pay for this match. To be honest I had no interest in this match. Two flat guys having the same match for the 1,000th time. It isn’t any better, it isn’t any worse. No heat is put on the match since there’s an angle on top.

PROS

  • Austin Aries in TNA
  • Christopher Daniels appletini
  • Some clean wins in the BFG!
  • Winner of Robbie E & Kurt Angle looked very effective
  • Taylor Hendrix
  • TNA letting the winners celebrate… almost as long as the matches.

CONS

  • No Sting storyline continuation. He was attacked by 3 masked me, Jeff Jarrett and the Harris brothers (I think).
  • Very little build for Destination X… but I guess you need to have an X-Division to have an X-Division pay-per-view.
  • Robert Roode talking
  • Mr. Anderson talking
  • Knockouts discussing why they want the Knockouts title… *shakes head*
  • AJ’s head not in the game… I’d much rather not see him on his year long losing streak.
  • Gut Check as a whole. What are we evaluating? A person’s ability to lose?
  • Tag champs not wearing their championship belts. Did anyone remember they are tag champs?
  • Backstage with Knockouts, but it was kept quick
  • I’ve seen RVD and Hardy too much to care… but that can be said a lot about any match in TNA.
  • No Devon defending the TV title. Not that it matters, but it was said… defending it on every Impact. Maybe he’s on Xplosion.
  • Over run lead to no conclusion with the Dixie and AJ angle… the main event.