Tag Archives: Dixie Carter

TNA Slammiversary 2014 Predictions, Hopes and Booking

There are 9+ matches and segments on this card and a Hall of Fame induction segment with Kurt Angle. I remember when WWE wouldn’t ever have more than 7 on a pay-per-view.

THE VON ERICHS (MARSHALL & ROSS) vs TBA
I have a feeling the TBA will be Bro Mans and DJ Zima Ion. If not them, then Spud. This will be a feel good moment hopefully later in the event o lift up the crowd. Robbie E and Jesse do the job, all Texans go home happy.  Maybe Lacey Von Erich will be out there too as a face valet. She could then join the Knockout division and have some fresh matches. This would also give the Bro Mans a spot on the card, when clearly all signs point to a six man tag between the Bro Mans and the Menagerie. But I guess the Menagerie can’t do a six man, when one of their guys is in the six way for the X-Division title.

KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, ANGELINA LOVE w/ VELVET SKYE vs GAIL KIM
Gail Kim has always been the #1 contender. Angelina Love has been ducking her since winning the title. This is about as deep as the Knockouts division goes. These four women. Angelina Loves should keep this title for the specific fact that she should never hold this title again. Gail Kim winning the title wouldn’t suddenly open up new matches to the Knockouts Division. This is it. These four women. They need to open up the division to one shot appearances from women outside the company for one match or so. Maybe with the Von Erichs appearing, they’ll bring back Lacey Von Erich to screw over Gail Kim and open up some fresh matches. Lacey was a member of the beautiful people at some point, but she’s currently doing erotic point of view wrestling.

They could also have Lacey cost Angelina the title, so Lacey can be a face valet with the Von Erichs and be her own person in the knockout division.

MR. ANDERSON vs JAMES STORM
If there’s one match on this card that I couldn’t care less about, its this one. Please let them open the show with this. After watching TNA all month or so, I can’t tell who’s the heel and the face. James Storm really comes off as a face, while Ken Anderson seems to be the bad comedy heel people want to see beat. Much like Rockstar Spud ‘s role in the Bully Ray feud. Mr. Anderson should win, keep the crowd happy, someone famous that they know. So he can get fed to MVP. Heck, if TNA cuts the match, I’d be okay with it, but I guess a promise is a promise. Have it.

WILLOW w/ ABYSS vs MAGNUS w/ BRAM
On Impact, the guys had a face to face. Willow kept saying WE, he and Jeff Hardy will take out Bram and Magnus, so Abyss comes out as back up. Personally I would have rather seen someone with Jeff Hardy’s size wear a Willow mask at the PPV to wrestle Magnus, then have the real Jeff Hardy run out to blow people’s minds. As for who wins this match? It’ll end in a DQ. Abyss just came back, Bram is new and Magnus now likes to hit people with objects, because getting you disqualified somehow moves you up the ladder? Good logic buddy.

X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP 6 WAY LADDER MATCH: Champion, SANADA vs TIGRE UNO vs CRAZZY STEVE vs EDDIE EDWARDS vs DAVEY RICHARDS vs MANIK
This is my most anticipated match, even though there’s zero build for it on Impact. It was just thrown together. For the past 2 years, TNA has used its X-Division title as an Option C, a guaranteed, TNA title match at the expense of giving up the X-Division title. Much like a Money in the Bank briefcase in the WWE. The TNA title match would happen at the Destination X event on Spike TV.

If Eddie or Davey win, I think that telegraphs MVP winning the title, assuming he’s not too injured to win the title. I really hope Sanada wins. He’s the guy not caught up in backstage shit and hasn’t been beat down by MVP’s group. He can be a fresh story and offer a straight up wrestling match for the title. Samoa Joe, Austin Aries and Bully Ray can fend off MVP and Ethan Carter so Sanada can get a clean match out of MVP or Eric Young at the Destination X event. It would mean so much more to have a clean wrestling match, because that never happens anymore.

Once the title is given up, there should be a tournament for the vacated championship building to Destination X.

I just really hope that Crazzy Steve doesn’t have his music blasting all match long. TNA has a real chance to turn this match into something special like Money in the Bank instead of a forgettable spot fest. They could even use the Menagerie stilt walkers to aid Crazzy Steve.

AUSTIN ARIES vs KENNY KING
Why aren’t these two in the X-Division championship match? Two former X-Division champions and all. Well they’ve got a going feud, so why not have this match? It should be a good match, but the trick is to make it a memorable match. Let Austin Aries win to feed him to MVP. Heck Aries could win this match and still face off against the X-Division champion before Destination X.

SAMOA JOE vs BOBBY LASHLEY
Even though there is no heat to this match, I’m looking forward to two bulls fighting. I would say Joe should win, since he just came back and they can feed Joe to MVP, but Bobby Lashley has 2 victories over the TNA champion, Eric Young. Bobby Lashley should win. I think this match could be memorable if its stiff and technical. Two big dudes that can suplex one another.

TNA HALL OF FAME INDUCTION WITH HOST KURT ANGLE
Wow, there are 9+ matches on this pay-per-view and they need a hall of fame induction too? Well it is Slammiversary, so why not? They have Kurt and Sting in the hall of fame, and I see this hall of fame more as an everyone not in the WWE hall of fame. So why not Dixie Carter? She can come down to the ring, accept the award and she should be in the Hall of Fame. TNA has been building to putting Dixie Carter through a table for the past few months, maybe since their last pay-per-view. Bully Ray could then appear to put her through a table, but then Ethan Carter can run out and they can have their match right then and there. That’s what ECW would have done.

TEXAS DEATH MATCH: BULLY RAY vs ETHAN CARTER III W/ SPUD
It was built up as a table match originally, but since Slammiversary is in Texas, why not have a Texas Death Match? I hope they’ll actually keep the 10 count after a pinfall like the true version. Otherwise, its just a last man standing match. The real issue here is putting Dixie Carter through the table. I would say Dixie will get put through a table at a TV taping at the old ECW arena, the Manhattan center, but Spike TV doesn’t allow violence against women. Bully Ray even came out this week on Impact and saved Brooke Tessmacher, showing to the crowd he’s not anti woman, he’s anti Dixie. Bully Ray needs to put Dixie through a table on pay-per-view. First because Spike TV won’t let them, and second, because people are paying for Slammiversary.

TNA CHAMPIONSHIP STEEL CAGE MATCH: Champion, ERIC YOUNG vs MVP
The big question going into this match is will MVP be able to compete. MVP cannot compete, I updated after this match. Supposedly he injured himself on a non TNA show. If MVP can’t make it, Lashley needs to take his place. Bobby Lashley now has 2 wins over Eric Young, that puts Lashley right there with Eric Young. Heck, MVP has lost two matches to Eric Young.

TNA must not like money, because they just had their Champion, Eric Young against the challenger MVP on free television three days from their match on PPV. Perhaps their logic is people will pay for the cage match. No. Who cares? I just saw Eric Young win and beat the challenger MVP after taking out two other men. Plus, even with a rested Eric Young against MVP, I can’t imagine them having a better match even with a cage! I remember when WCW would give away their PPV main events free on Nitro. MVP should have come out and told Eric Young, I’m not the last guy, we agreed to two out of three wins. I didn’t say I’d be guy #3. I am not a number, I am the guy you’ll face at Slammiversary. Why would MVP ever agree to this? Even with a logical cage match to keep out Kenny King and Bobby Lashley, the challenger, MVP has a history of buying off and bullying referees into winning matches. The deck is stacked against Eric Young. Better put a top on that cage! MVP will win, but I’ve bet against Eric Young before and been wrong…. Personally, I’d keep the title on Eric Young, because MVP still has power to make matches yet he doesn’t ever make wise matches, but on the other hand if MVP doesn’t win the title, that’s sort of a road block for his faction.

*** UPDATE *** TNA CHAMPIONSHIP STEEL CAGE THREE WAY MATCH: Champion, ERIC YOUNG vs TBA vs TBA
So apparently MVP is really injured and can’t make the show. So TNA has announced the winners of Austin Aries vs Kenny King and Samoa Joe vs Bobby Lashley would be entered in the match. I predict Lashley and King to be inserted into the match, when really it should just be Bobby Lashley, who has 2 wins over the champion, Eric Young. However, having the two qualifying matches gives them weight and a reason to care about them. Anyway, while I predict Lashley and King to win their matches, for the sake of a good match, I hope that its Aries and Samoa Joe in the cage, but the fans wouldn’t know who to cheer for. Eric Young should walk out with the TNA title.

There you have it, all of my predictions, hopes, dreams and musings.

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Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (5/22/14)

MVP PROMO WITH KENNY KING AND BOBBY LASHLEY (explaining why he’s heel but it doesn’t make sense)
MVP is a heel now. He explained his heel turn last week, but now he’s explaining that you can’t just be a great wrestler. You need to be a politician to get power. Yep with all that power the 3 of you clowns can’t get Eric Young’s title. MVP is good on the mic, but this is all just idiotic. King had matches against both Lashley and MVP. Well it was all a plan. Yep. Totally a plan.

WOLVES SHOW UP (and get beat down)
This explanation explained nothing. MVP hired them both. So the Wolves hit the ring. He hired them both too, perhaps are they a part of the plan? Nah. They’re upset for being used. They might have said you used us… and then jumped them! MVP’s boys would have the numbers so they’d win, or just bail because they have the power even if they don’t have the might. So MVP could book them in handicaps. You don’t bite the hand, I used you and you need to be cool with that. Why do your own dirty work when you can just make tough matches? Heck even if the Wolves were to win a tough match, that just means there’s one more match to go!

Nope two of your top faces lost the attack and get speared off a stage from Lashley. Then Kenny King giggles like a schoolgirl or laughs like the 1970s Joker. I can see TNA’s ratings dropping. Its just another heel faction in power.

ERIC YOUNG STORMS IN BACKSTAGE

ERIC CARTER III AND AUNT DIXIE ARRIVE

ERIC YOUNG TRIES TO CUT A PROMO AND GETS CUT OFF BY MVP
Holy fuck why can’t we get past evil factions? Why are there no face factions to spit in their faces and take them out? If Abyss is a face again, why can’t Eric go to Abyss and say, back me up? He can say Abyss, you like hurting people, help me hurt people. Sure Abyss can just turn on Eric Young or Abyss can point out that MVP gave him a job again, but its worth a shot. Eric can go to Austin Aries even. Then they go to the one remaining Wolf and have a 6 man?

Beatdown and Rescue by Austin Aries followed by a challenge!
Eric Young mentions Bobby Lashley sold out. MVP mentions that Lashley didn’t take a shortcut yet yes he did. Oh well. Eric Young says passionate words before attacking and getting beat down by three men. Aries runs in. He must have just gotten there like Eric Young got there 5 or so minutes ago. I have a feeling Aries is really with MVP because he’s wearing black and he fought against MVP. So it makes sense by TNA logic that he’ll turn on Eric Young Later.

Anyway, I smell a 6 man match. Nope. MVP vs Austin Aries

BRAM CONVINCES A HEEL MAGNUS TO BE A HEEL (its crazy i know)
Magnus says he’s getting tired of Brahm so he punches Bram, who laughs and says that’s what we want. Then Magnus helps him up. Huh? ok.

ANGELINA LOVE ISSUES AN OPEN CHALLENGE AND GETS JUMPED BY ANGELINA LOVE (because faces need to weaken heels by using heel tactics).
I can’t keep up with this typing. There could have been a brawl, but after Love throws the first punch.

DAVEY RICHARDS STRETCHERED AWAY (where was his tag partner?)
At least show his partner in the shot. His partner must not give a fuck that his teammate is being stretchered out. Maybe he’s injured somewhere himself. SHOW HIM. Maybe I missed him.

ANGELINA LOVE vs  NOT GAIL KIM (its really Brittany)
We’re now around 25 – 30 minutes in and its the first match. It was a little dumb of Angelina to issue an open challenge, and it excludes all former champions. That works. Otherwise I was going to say the challenge was answered before Gail got there. Gail and Love is the money match. Brittany is the jobber and should be in this case. The referee was distracted by Velvet Skye…. YET VELVET COULDN’T HELP CHRIS SABIN! Gail Kim clears house after the match. Sadly, I just don’t care about Gail vs Love as the money match. I still have 0 interest.

KEN AND JAMES STORM AT A BAR (heel and face role reversal)
Ken wants to play games, James Storm is hostile. James Storm came across as a face and Ken Anderson was just a joke. Beer drinking contest later.

AUSTIN ARIES vs MVP (because men of power fight their own battles)
It is a great match on paper. A money match even, but the logic behind the match is just backward. No president, or king fight their own battles. A man of power should not fight his own battles and if he were to fight his own battles, why would he want to face someone one on one? People of power should be untouchable!!! That’s why Dixie is hiding from Bully Ray.

The match ends with Kenny King causing a DQ via interference. Why not just start the match that way? Why even wrestle? Eric Young runs in and gets beat down. Its just a numbers game. Mike Tennay says everyone is frightened for their jobs. Well if MVP was going to fire anyone… why hasn’t he? MVP announces Lashley vs Eric Young. why doesn’t the title match START RIGHT NOW?

DIXIE INTERRUPTS (and it makes less sense)
MVP asks her didn’t he ban her from Impact? Well the new heel faction moves in on the old faction. Two heels arguing. Dixie says she doesn’t interfere. Yet she’s interfering right there. Dixie says she can do something for MVP. Enter Bully Ray who chases away Dixie and Ethan Carter. MVP asks Bully why he’s there when they’ve been banned?

BULLY AND MVP FACE OFF LEADING TO FACEOFF AGAINST DIXIE CARTER (faces need to attack in numbers)
Bully even wonders why MVP is picking on Eric Young. Soon gets jumped by 3 men. Well with Bully Ray beat down, Dixie tells Ethan to get the tables. For someone so entitled, he should have his butler Spud get the tables. While this was a good balancing of momentum, they were banned. MVP could have had security escort them out where they do this all outside. But well this is wrestling. And again, why don’t these faces attack in numbers?

GUNNER & DEXTER IN PADDED ROOM
Well, Gunner has a serious message about things. Which is good. Its a good message. Gunner will be there for Dexter. Who’s Dexter? I don’t know. Is he still obsessed about Christy Hemme? Is that why he’s in there. Gunner wants to get the straight jacket off of him. You know he can’t leave until you’re discharged.

THE LONE WOLF EDDY EDWARDS vs KENNY KING (because 1 face didn’t learn from every other face that lost)
Why does he want a piece of them in the ring? Why not attack backstage? Why attack them by yourself when the 3 of them will just clobber you? Plus why would Kenny King just go out there by himself? I have a feeling the other 2 will just jump the Lone Wolf Eddy Edwards. If only he went to the hospital with his partner. All of these polite one on one matches make me think some face must be booking matches to be this nice. Nope a heel in charge is making these one on one matches. Perhaps if he told us that with all of these faces weakened earlier in the show he has no doubts that they won’t be able to divide and conquer mono e mono.

The majority of the match takes place outside, but I don’t think its a match. Shouldn’t there be security pulling them apart. You know they do have a regularly scheduled program to go on, but no these two guys are brawling in the ring. Kenny King wins this non match.

DRINKING CONTEST >> JAMES STORM OVER KEN ANDERSON
Yep. Ken gets James beer like he’s a bitch, but I think Ken is getting the heel wasted to make it easier to beat him up. Its like Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd.

MVP BUYS OFF A REF BACKSTAGE (not with money)

JAMES STORM & KEN ANDERSON DRUNK
Enough. Ken Anderson beats down James Storm. Ken could have just broke a bottle over his head an hour ago.

ERIC YOUNG BACKSTAGE PROMO (yep, he’s not 100% but Lashley will get 100% of what he’s got left)
Eric says he’ll show Lashley how crazy he’ll get. I want garbage cans, chairs, cheating. TNA always had an obscure DQ loses a title in a title match. However, this isn’t a title match? Why? Maybe MVP wants to weaken Eric Young before MVP takes the title/ I’ll never know. TNA didn’t explain that.

ERIC YOUNG vs BOBBY LASHLEY (I predict a 3 on 1 with a bought ref)
While I really like Eric Young, he’s not really dazzling in the ring. He doesn’t make me feel its a main event. TNA has never been one for a big drama, slow told story in the ring like the WWE has bee. TNA is more of the dynamic guys that can fly, mat wrestle and do anything in the ring (even if the past 3 major championship runs have been dull, limited heels for 2 – 3 years). I’m shocked that TNA hasn’t turned Eric heel yet, like other top recent champions. He’s still a great, strong champion that goes over clean, but I just don’t think there’s anything that sets him above the rest in terms of in the ring. He’s not flashy, even if he’s a solid champion with the crowd firmly behind him.

Naturally Kenny King and MVP run in, but the referee is cool with it. Well what the fuck. There is no sport in wrestling. One day they’ll really piss Eric Young off by shaving his beard! Austin Aries runs in well after the victory…. to get beat down! Oh you faces. Coordinate your attacks so its not always 2 on 3 or 1 on 3. Mike Tennay says everyone is intimidated by MVP.

PROS:

  • The way the open challenge was handled
  • Momentum balance between Bully and Ethan

CONS:

  • Faces can’t work as a unit to overthrow new heel faction
  • Solo matches with a heel in charge
  • Referee distracted by Velvet Skye’s ass when she couldn’t help Chris Sabin win a few months ago
  • 0 interest in Gail vs Love even with a build
  • Talking, lots of talking
  • Heel faction was everywhere!

Everything Right with TNA Impact (07/05/12)

BULLY RAY PROMO on TWITTER (legal action)
Oh good… TNA has been bit by the Twitter bug. Those suck more than kajiggers… which burrow down into your skin. Bully questions Joseph Park has the pair of nuts to smack him in the face. Joseph Park comes down to the ring. The crowd is hot. Joseph gives Bully Ray a legal lesson with presidency. Abyss / Chris / Joseph Park has always had an impressive presence and even in a suit its no different. Joseph accepts the challenge with no rules. Bully Ray pulls out a paper… using the Christopher Daniels methodology of heat. It is a restraining order against Abyss.

AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE w/ HULK HOGAN (good and brief)
This was good. Aries is a fresh, good character. Hogan wants the belt tonight.

DANIELS / DIXIE RECAP w/ DIXIE BACKSTAGE
Daniels says Claire Lynch is preggers. AJ Styles is the daddy! Mu-ah-ha-ha-ha. Then Dixie is backstage with the road agents. She is asked questions by the mysterious interviewer and there is no answers.

CRIMSON vs DEVON (quick match that sets up something for someone else)
Crimson loses his streak at the last pay-per-view and disappears from TV for 3 weeks… so he gets a title shot. At least show how Crimson has been winning at house shows. Why isn’t Crimson in the BFG Series? He was undefeated for 18 months. Devon is a gatekeeper for D level talent. I have no problem with Devon in this role. It keeps him strong and gives an evaluation of lesser talent. Crimson makes one of the crappiest pin attempts ever that somehow ends up with Devon on top. Quick match thank goth.

Madison Rayne comes marching to the ring. I think she wants some chocolate. Nope its someone else she wants. I fully expected this after a few months ago. This could build to a title reign for someone.

CHRIS SABIN PROMO (a heel needs heat)
Sabin is on crutches. He has some thick sideburns. It is a horrifying shame that he injured both ACLs, one after another. This has to be extremely discouraging since he’s not a main eventer. TNA probably doesn’t pay all the bills. He needs to have another job and that’s a shame. The fans are firmly behind him.

Out comes Robert Roode. This is another guy that should quit if he had two ACL injuries… even if he is a main eventer. He gets heat by verbally running him down and saying its just like every other X-Divisioner. Roode kicks out Sabin’s crutch. It really sucks that I feel anyone else could do the same job or better than Robert Roode. Austin Aries runs in for the save.

X-DIVISION >> DAKOTA DARSOW vs FLIP CASSANOVA (Dakota couldn’t keep up his end)
Dakota Darsow is the son of Barry Darsow. Nothing wrong with that. Flip looks like Sonjay Dutt… and the first words out of Mike Tennay’s mouth are Sonjay Dutt. Some sloppy high-flying from Flip Cassady off the bat, but he makes up for it with a backflip senton butt splash. Dakota Darsow is really struggling to keep up or even maintain himself. I hope Flip wins. Darsow has a long way to go. He’s got a good look, but I don’t see X-Division from him. I see TV title division. Dakota Darsow has a bloody nose. Good little match. Dakota Darsow didn’t keep up his end of the bargain.

Flip has some of Dakota’s blood on him. Flip waits to be interviewed and gets nothing…

BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA BACKSTAGE
Brooke has a tag match with Tara. Tara calls her Boo 2x. Very quick.

GUT CHECK RECAP >> TAYLOR HENDRIX
She didn’t like that she was called not tough enough. The camera loves her and so do you fans. If only her name wasn’t Taeler Hendrix. I chose not to spell her name correctly, since she chose to say she’s a cancer survivor when she’s really a misdiagnosed. Like oh I thought I was pregnant, but it was just gas.

MADISON RAYNE & GAIL KIM vs BROOKE TESSMACHER & TARA (match makes Tara looks good)
Next week Gail Kim gets her title shot… I thought it was this week, but whatever. It should probably be on the pay-per-view. Does anyone remember when it was Terra? Mike Tennay mentions the main event, James Storm vs Jeff Hardy. I totally forgot. This match was quicker than most TNA knockout’s matches. Short match, more of a win.

JAMES STORM LOCKDOWN RECAP w/ JEFF HARDY MATCH HYPE
James Storm recaps Lockdown then talks about Jeff Hardy. Not much here.

AJ PROMO on CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (dropping the angle)
He yells out at Christopher Daniels…. who thankfully comes out to save this segment. Don’t let AJ Styles talk about this ever. KAZ comes out with Daniels and says AJ gets junkie whores pregnant. Daniels has a martini glass… an empty one from the look of it. Christopher Daniels starts some long-winded speech and AJ just tells him to shut up. Holy shit this feud has been going on for a full year. That’s not a compliment. That’s a … let’s move on! I consider the Claire Lynch angle officially dropped by TNA.

HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE interrupted by MASKED MAN
Hogan doing an interview, gets interrupted by one of the masked men that attacked Sting a few weeks ago. He delivers a piece of paper with some carts on it. At least they mentioned the angle.

JEFF HARDY VIDEO
He’s inspired by this series since he missed last year’s series. He wants to end the selfish generation. I kind of thought Jeff Hardy lead the selfish generation what with the drugs and house explosions.

X-DIVISION >> KENNY KING vs LARS ONLY (another X-division match)
Kenny King from ROH and I think from WWE Tough Enough season 2. Good to see someone from any Tough Enough season in still in wrestling. Good match, longer and less reckless than the other match. Lars did some sort of leg trip, leg sweep that looked painful to Kenny King. Tazz said it sucked, but I think that’s how it was supposed to look… painful. I don’t have much to say about this match. I think Christie Hemmy announced Kenny as Kenny Kane.

Christie interviews Kenny King. The fans are behind him in more ways than one.

I’ve come to realize that none of TNA’s own X-Division guys has a match on TV even if they’ll get matches on the Destination X pay-per-view. Bring in new guys and have them go for the title. If anything hopefully Sonjay Dutt will get the X-Division title.

AUSTIN ARIES BEFORE THE BELL PREVIEW (good show everyone seems to love it)
I’ve seen the Before the Bell special with Austin Aries. It is full of good phrases. So many good phrases, you don’t even need to watch it, just listen for 30 minutes which 24 of it is Austin Aries talking.

KENNY KING & AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE (good rub for Kenny King)
They know each other… and they’re happy. Good rub for Kenny King who then disappears so Austin can get asked about relinquishing the belt. Yep.

BFG LEADERBOARD
James Storm > Samoa Joe > Magnus > Kurt Angle

BFG SERIES >> JAMES STORM vs JEFF HARDY (Storm sells for Hardy)
Wow this main event is starting early. It makes me think Claire the junkie slut will be the main event. Jeff Hardy comes out looking like a performance artist on coke. He shares a moment with the crowd. It must suck that Jeff Hardy is still over James Storm. Even if Hardy loses 100 times to Storm… it will still be Jeff Hardy > James Storm. There are plenty of dueling chants. There are a lot of lockups and holds… because this is the main event and they have the time. They come back from commercial and Tazz talks about how crazy it got in the commercial with a street fight on the outside… yet no video clips. It is so hilarious watching James Storm sell for Jeff Hardy, who is too weak to muscle him into selling. Like a leg trip, you see James Storm start falling before Jeff Hardy pulls him. You see the camera angles shift so viewers don’t see the miss between Jeff Hardy’s feet and Storm’s face. Now 100% of the fans are behind Jeff Hardy… who has 90% of the offense of this match. But when James Storm gets a move, Jeff Hardy sells like he’s dead for way too long. But whatever. Good match, gives fans time to get invested in the outcome.

After the match, the winner gives the loser a handshake. Good clean match.

BFG LOCATION
Mike Tennay and Tazz announce that Bound for Glory is going to Phoenix, AZ.

BACKSTAGE w/ KURT ANGLE then MR. ANDERSON
They both briefly talk about the BFG Series and Tennay plugs Mr. Anderson vs Kurt Angle. Then Brooke Tessmacher vs Gail Kim. Bully Ray vs Joseph Park.

HULK HOGAN ANGLE w/ …
This puts a lot of heat on Austin Aries. Anyway, Hogan does a good job of plugging Destination-X, Jeff Hardy, James Storm and Austin Aries. Robert Roode comes out. Robert Roode is so generic. Like he checks all the boxes that meet with a great heel… except for personality. As I’ve pointed out before the real feud seems to be Hulk Hogan & Robert Roode. Roode always has great points. I just wish it was coming from someone better. Austin Aries comes out… Austin Aries gives this match and Roode’s title heat.

lol when Austin and Roode get in each other’s faces… the fans chant for Hogan. Aries ends up holding up both belts and it looks awesome. Great job TNA. Aries gives Hogan the X-Division title and holds up the TNA world title to close the show.

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (6/28/12)

AJ STYLES & DIXIE CARTER BACKSTAGE (brief)
Another brief backstage thing with AJ saying he’s gonna beat up Daniels and Kazarian. At least this was quick and painless compared to Derrek Bateman backstage at NXT. I still feel that TNA can salvage the Clare Lynch / AJ / Dixie / Daniels / KAZ storyline and you can read about it here… (http://wp.me/p1Prve-j9)

BFG >> MR. ANDERSON vs RVD (surprisingly good … maybe because it wasn’t bad)
Mr. Anderson looks at the mic too long. He talks too long. Do we have any assholes in the building tonight. Yayyyy he’s swearing He swore! Let’s cheer him. He hails from Green Bay Wisconsin. As a Chicagoan… you shouldn’t be proud of that, but whatever. Tennay runs down Mr. Anderson winning 2 points at a TNA live event for a time limit draw. When TNA goes to a commercial they need to throw up the wins / losses in a round robin graph.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. As of last year… I never want to see this match again. Tennay mentions that there is now a 15 minute time limit. I’d rather have a 10 minute time limit, but whatever. RVD does an Indian death lock and Anderson crawls out of it which made it very awkward for RVD. RVD has some good submissions and Anderson has some legitimate fight out of the submissions. Looked good. Over the past few months Anderson has gotten better… and this comment comes from someone that doesn’t like him. RVD has some very beautiful moves and submissions.

The crowd stays hot for this match and that’s what’s really important. This was a good little match and it was the right amount of time for me to get into it and actually care, which is something I couldn’t say about any match last week. James Storm > Samoa Joe > Kurt Angle > Mr Anderson > RVD so far in the BFG Series

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO (good, not gold)
TNA shows that someone else is coming to the ring. They play his music and I have no idea who’s coming to the ring… then they reveal its Austin Aries. Oh yeah. I have no idea what his entrance looks like and I watch every week.

Aries explains his choice last week to sacrifice the belt… that would be something good for the Sacrifice PPV. He also explains that the X-Division will have a tournament at Destination X to determine the new title. Good. That was my idea last year, along the lines of the Super Junior tournament in Japan.

Robert Roode comes down. He looks like an accountant. Austin Aries looks like a magician, but I’d rather pay to see a magician than pay to see an accountant. Robert Roode says that he’s made the belt worth something. See I disagree. He needs more clean wins. Austin Aries has had good clean wins. Roode points out the BFG series will have 12 men fighting for a chance at the title. Well Aries should point out that the X-Division will have a tournament. Robert Roode brings up Hulk Hogan. Makes me think the real feud here is Hogan vs Roode not Roode vs Storm or even the man he’s standing with.

Aries heats things up when he dares Roode to take him out of his rings. The crowd is hot. They get read, then Roode bails. Aries should have jumped at him when Roode bailed.

CLARE LYNCH RECAP / CLARE LYNCH BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW w/ DIXIE (terrible)
Terrible stuff. Their backstage interviewer is no longer Jason Hervy. The interviewer asks her how she met Dixie. Oh through a party at Dixie’s. Uggg. Terrible.

DANIELS & KAZ BACKSTAGE
They argue. Too brief to be good or bad.

X-DIVISION QUALIFIER >> SONJAY DUTT vs RUBIX (2 guys thrown out there cold fire up the crowd)
Dutt is back! At least for a month. He’s been in TNA’s other promotion Ring Ka King in India. I’ve heard of Rubix. This should be highly entertaining. Hopefully they can rekindle the X-Division now that its dead. But how rekindled can it be when TNA has the Bound for Glory Series? Rubix has a great look. He’s crisp and very quick. Sonjay himself is a great pro and always has been. Its great when 2 guys who haven’t been in the company or in the company for 2+ years can come in and fire up the crowd like this with no introduction. A sick backflip double stomp finisher. Clean victory. Good stuff even if it was quick. The fans are firmly behind the winner. The winner is stopped by Christy Hemme and he says says he’s never been TNA X-Division championship, so that’s his goal.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX EVALUATION
Tazz, Al Snow & Bruch Prichard backstage in the trailer to talk. Its in pure work mode. They question if she’s green or game ready. I think she’s ready with a lot of growth potential. Tazz hates when people come in with a sense of entitlement… and Taylor doesn’t have that. Bruce questions if they’ll buy a PPV because she’s on it. Truth be told so many people have found my reviews of TNA Impact because of Taylor Hendrix. Yes. She is a draw. A skinny chick with big implants. She’s a draw. Plus she’s fresher than 9/10ths of the knockouts.

BFG >> SAMOA JOE vs BULLY RAY (hard hitting and heavy lifting)
It astounds me how TNA can throw guys out cold or spend years making them lose, yet the crowd is always hot for them. This match should be awesome and at some point I would have paid for it. The crowd even knows its awesome before it happens. They’re soaking it in before they wrestle. Fans are heavy chanting through the match. This match is as you’d expect…. hard hitting and heavy lifting. What’s strange and good is Bully Ray is working the arm. Bully Ray even does a running frog splash. Toward the end of the match Joseph Park runs to the ring, Bully Ray puts his hands on Joseph who then slaps him hard. The crowd explodes.

JOSEPH PARK PROMO (good stuff)
After the match, Joseph says he’s been bullied all his life. So he challenges Bully tonight! Now he says in 2 weeks from tonight. What? Oh well 2 weeks Bully vs Joseph Park.

DIXIE & CLARE BACKSTAGE (bad)
Dixie explains all. Wow this is done in such a sterile environment to keep the fans out of it. Dixie explains Christopher Daniels twisted the facts. Daniels caught Dixie and AJ Styles planning a surprise birthday party for Dixie’s husband Serge.

KAZ & HULK HOGAN BACKSTAGE (bad and dumb)
LOL wow KAZ is backpedaling. He wants to bail on Daniels. Again they can really salvage this angle if Daniels comes out and says that AJ & Dixie are lying. This woman Clare Lynch is a serrogate mother holding Dixie’s fertilized egg with AJ’s sperm. Go further not pull back. Or hell just drop it like the Sting and three masked men angle. I wanted KAZ to stay face or go heel. Not both.

MADISON RAYNE & GARRETT BISCHOFF BACKSTAGE (quick)
Garrett is wearing a bowling shirt. Madison Rayne has this crush… so she’s wondering ‘what’s he like?’ I bet its Robbie E.

2 BROOKES & 1 GAIL (the rematch is set)
Brooke Hogan tells Brooke Tessmacher that she’s the new Direct Auto spokesperson. Gail Kim arrives and it gets interesting without getting bad. Gail wants her rematch. Hogan… Brooke Hogan tells her next week she gets a rematch.

X-DIVISION QUALIFIER >> RASHAAD CAMERON vs MASON ANDREWS (high octane recklessness)
Cameron has a great look, black guy with a fro and colorful tights. He looks different. He doesn’t feel like an X-Division guy. Mason Andrews has a spring in his step. The crowd is less hot for this match. There are plenty of ooos and ahhhs. Mason has some great areal work and almost kills himself corkscrewing not high enough over the top rope to the outside. Rashaad isn’t the best worker and neither is Mason. Rashaad seems to be safer like he works a main event style while Rashaad works an X division style. Mason Andrews looks very bland even if his moves are totally flashy. Maybe he needs a mask. The fans chant this is awesome at some sloppy work. Quick match and that’s okay. The winner says that the fans know they’re looking at the next X-Division champion! Good. The fans boo him. Even better!

HULK HOGAN & JAMES STORM BACKSTAGE w/ JEFF HARDY (how’s everybody)
James Storm asks about Sting. Hogan asks about James. Hogan says next week Storm vs Jeff Hardy. This was quick and you know what’s next week. TNA is fun right now. They give you stuff to look forward to. They’re building to things and they’re using matches to prove the best.

GUT CHECK >> TAYLOR HENDRIX DECISION (the interruption)
I say she gets it, but who knows. Tazz, Al Snow and Bruce Prichard make the decision. Taylor this is a beauty pageant, make sure to wave like a queen. Tazz says… what the fans say. Al Snow says… There’s someone in the crowd… and its Joey Ryan with a sign. Awesome. He should get dragged away by security. Joey is challenging Tazz and bang there’s security. Live television. Al Snow says something. Leaving one final man to tie break! Taylor is force to cut a promo. Good promo, bad delivery. Sounded whinny, forced and not real. Bruce Prichard says he doesn’t think she’s mean enough. Huh? Whatever. Tara is mean enough and she doesn’t go anywhere. She’s the sympathetic babyface. Oh and for the dozens of people writing me in wonder, she had been misdiagnosed with cancer. She’s not a survivor.

KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (an announcement)
AJ announces that he and Daniels have a last man standing match at Destination X. Should be good…. if we didn’t see it every month for the past 4+ months.

TAG TITLES >> KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES vs CHRISTOPHER DANIELS & KAZ
So from this show we’ve learned KAZ doesn’t want to be with Daniels. Clare Lynch and Dixie Carter are ringside watching. At the last pay-per-view this was the match of the show if not TNA’s 2012.

This really tells the story of KAZ turning on Daniels. When Angle tries to suplex Daniels and Daniels hangs onto KAZ, KAZ hits Daniels to get him to let go so Angle can suplex him. Then KAZ turns on Daniels and gives him to AJ Styles. Good little match, but not the same…

DANIELS DECLARES AJ IS THE FATHER!

How TNA can salvage the AJ Stylez and Dixie Carter pregnant lady reveal

So… my thoughts on this Dixie / Stylez angle revealing they were helping a pregnant woman get help from drugs and one night stands… Yes it was beyond stupid with plenty of plot holes such as why would KAZ turn on AJ for helping the woman unless he is the baby’s father… but since I can’t go back in time to fix it, I can salvage this angle, Daniels should go nuts and say no no, you’re not getting out of this. I know what happened, KAZ knows what happened and we have someone that saw with her own eyes what happened. (however this will face Daniels and make AJ & Dixie heels) Next week they bring that person out. That person is KAZ’s wife Traci Brooks. … Traci is the reason why KAZ believes it now. She saw them at the hotel and mentioned it to Daniels who went overboard and discovered the stranger than fiction truth that Dixie’s husband Serge had a vesectomy and can’t have kids so Dixie the millionaire had one of her AJ fertilized eggs put into a serrogate mother who faked being an addict and that piece of paper Daniels kee…ps showing is the hospital bill for the serrogate motherism. Then the mother in 2 weeks can say yes… it was all true. You two have ruined my life… people will think she means KAZ & Daniels, but she’ll really mean AJ & Dixie, because when a bad actress turns on two loved people that makes her the heel and the loved people are the faces.
Then that mother hooks up with a wrestler and gets into his mind to send that wrestler after AJ. There, 2 months of storylines. Then she has the baby and AJ proves that it wasn’t his sperm that made the baby… it was Daniels. Leading the fans to chant… Daddy Daniels. That will result in an extra month of storyline.
Are there any plot holes to what has already been done with the storyline?

Everything Right with TNA Impact (06/14/12)

JAMES STORM VIDEO OPENING (thank god its not Robert Roode)
Very good to say he’s back. Makes him a star. Especially good because he’s not Robert Roode. Brief recap from the past two months.

X-DIVISION TITLE ULTIMATE X >> ARIES vs SABIN vs ZIMA ION (great, hot opener)
On paper this looks awesome, should be an awesome opener. It shouldn’t be thrown out there cold like this, but X-Division matches don’t need any preface, they should get over because they’re X-Division. If Aries were to lose this would be a good opportunity to drop the belt and move up the card. Of course you could also move the X-Division up the card. The fans are quiet because they’re paying attention and popping for offense with a few chants. Thank goth Robert Roode didn’t start the show. He kills all energy. The TNA ring looks bigger. Tazz and Tennay announce that the BFG series is back, which is great if done correctly. BFG Series should be a round robin style tournament instead of tags or three ways.

This match was great, made Aries look like a star as always. He is a clear cut star. This made him look like an incredible star in only five minutes. Unfortunately the other two didn’t shine as bright. TNA gives the winner a little time to shine after the match. Chris Sabin looks to have injured his knee. If that’s true, that’s horrible.

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO (white hot)
Aries talks about how a year ago he walked in and beat everyone. That is absolutely true. Aries wants to move up, he wants to be higher. Enter Hulk Hogan. Aries can become a giant in the BFG series. He can be a huge star in Destination X and main event it against AJ Styles. Hogan says he hears all the hoopla. Aries should be the man in the main event like AJ Styles should have been five years ago. Aries can carry the company and have five star matches with heat with anyone. The crowd is very hot for this segment. Aries wants in the main event. Hogan makes a match for Destination X. Aries vs Bobby Roode. But only if Aries gives up the title. Aries should give up the title. Hell he should get the TNA top title. However, its too early. There’s zero chase, especially now that James Storm is back. Aries should win the BFG Series… and still give up the belt. Not now but in 3 months. Defend the belt against AJ as the main event of Destination X.

SLAMMIVERSY MOMENT w/ DIXIE CARTER (too short)
TNA shows a recap of Slammiversary. Its great for making the company look bigger. Then it just cuts off.

JOSEPH PARKS EATING BACKSTAGE interrupted by BULLY RAY (too brief to be gold)
Bully wonders where Abyss is. Funny how its gone 180. Now Bully Ray wants Abyss. This was kept short, but eh. Not gold.

TV TITLE >>DEVONvs HERNANDEZ (makes sense)
You know it makes sense… Hernandez won a match, so he gets a title shot. Brilliant. I feel Hernandez can be better utilized as mega face forMexico. He can throw around guys and be the pride ofMexico… even if he’s a Texan. SuperMex kicks off the match with a running body press over the top to the outside. Crowd is hot, probably hotter than they were for the opening match. WithDevon’s track record of people interfering in his matches… You’d expect that with this… but no.

DIXIE & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (brief)
AJ can’t do this anymore… He wants to get it out in the open. Bet it’s a surprise party or something for Serge.

BFG SERIES ROYAL RUMBLE >> AJ / RVD / JOE / BULLY RAY / MAGNUS / ANGLE / STORM / POPE / HARDY / ROBBIE E / DANIELS (good stuff)
The winner gets 20 points in the BFG Series. I have no problem with something special like that when they’re all involved as long as everyone is in it and everyone has an even number of matches. So this was done Royal Rumble style where a new person enters every 90 seconds. It starts with the biggest stars before it works down the ladder. The Pope DiAngelo DiNero appears for the first time in half a year. Abyss appears, but he’s not in it. AJ Styles and Kurt Angle don’t wear their belts. Huge chants throughout a lot of the match. So far this might be the hottest match on the show. Good finish, the winner looks like the star and the loser looks like he’ll get revenge

JAMES STORM PROMO (crowd goes nuts and they’re firmly behind Storm)
Mega chants for this guy. Crowd wants to hear what he says and pop for the things he says. See it sucks that Aries will lose at the next PPV and end up without a belt when the main event story arc is setup for James Storm to win it after he wins the BFG Series. Anyway, James Storm is back in a big way. The crowd goes nuts.

ROBERT ROODE BACKSTAGE (meh)
They’ve got a new TMZ interviewer. The voice is different. This segment was pretty much to let you know he’s on the card.

AJ STYLES & KURT ANGLE BACKSTAGE
Kurt is angry with AJ for messing up and yells at him to clear his head of theDixie stuff. Angle has an intensity in a good way. AJ promises to get focused.

BROOKE TESSMACHER vs MADISON RAYNE (an ok match)
It’s shocking to think TNA has turned a corner and everyone is mega over to their crowd. This match seems to be the downer for the crowd. They’re still paying attention and into it, but quiet. But when Tessmacher yells to the crowd they respond big. Nothing wrong with this match. Can’t say it made Brooke look like a star.

BROOKE HOGAN BACKSTAGE w/ GAIL KIM
Brooke wants Open Fight Night with a 4 way Knockouts title. I didn’t think Open Fight was for another 2 weeks. Eh whatever. This was an OK segment, nothing notably wrong or right.

MR. ANDERSON BACKSTAGE
Hey he’s got dark hair and not blonde. He looks like a totally different guy. Very brief 10 seconds.

TNA TITLE >> ROBERT ROODE vs MR ANDERSON (good psychology)
Thank goth Anderson hasn’t really talked this episode. He doesn’t even introduce himself. Good. Strip him of talking and he’s totally fine and he’s been improving in the past few months in the ring. The match starts with 30 minutes left on the show, which normally means a 20 minute angle at the end of the show and yep they still have the AJ & Dixie thing. This episode was very quick with what felt like a lot of wrestling.

I have no interest in this match even if they’ve built a 2 month history with them. It just doesn’t feel like the main event, especially because its not. One good thing I do have to say about this match is that it’s a good fight. Like its not easy for them to do things. It’s a competition for headlocks. Like a struggle. And that’s good. Great victory.

DIXIE & AJ STYLES BACKSTAGE (again)
They say the same thing, but this time they hug.

IMPACT RECAP (a great idea)
This was good, because it showed everything you may have forgotten keeping it fresh in your mind. Other shows do this and even Internet top 10 lists recap the previous 9 before the #1.

STING VIDEO (made Sting look big)
Sting is the first wrestler to make it to TNA’s Hall of Fame. Sure it’s a joke right now, but in 10 years from now it will be prestigious. Plenty of backstage interview clips putting over Sting’s importance. Good. It made Sting look big. Monumental.

STING SPEECH (and what happens)
Don’t focus on his loss to Robert Roode. Focus on how awesome Sting is! Sting’s face paint looks like a gothic circus clown. The fans chant for Sting. Sting knows there are other people that deserve the honor like the Jarretts. Three masked men attack Sting! Big masked men. They get major heel heat. The fans chant for Hogan. I think the masks are Smoke from Mortal Kombat.

PROS

  • Hot Opener
  • Austin Aries looked like a star
  • Aries & Hogan interaction
  • Hernandez getting a win before his TV title shot
  • Devonis strong
  • Hot Royal Rumble match
  • Joe in the rumble
  • Daniels in the rumble taking out 2 people
  • James Storm is mega over
  • Angle wanting AJ to get his head in the game.
    No talking from Mr Anderson and Robert Roode.
  • It felt like there was a lot of wrestling.
  • Main event match victory
  • Recap of the show just before the main event angle.
  • The main event angle

CONS

  • Too much too soon for Austin Aries when he will get stopped by Roode

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (06/07/12)

TNA IMPACT OPENING with DIXIE LAST WEEK
They recap what happened last week and then show what happened off the air. Dixie is angry marching to the production truck. Hopefully the AJ / Dixie angle doesn’t turn out to be a surprise birthday party for Serge her husband. TNA said that we’d be going backstage more and more.

DIXIE IN THE RING (heat killer)
She’s all teary eyed. Dixie feels sorry for Christopher Daniels and KAZ that they’d be so sad as to do this. So Dixie is gonna tell the truth! Enter Daniels and KAZ. Daniels has his hand taped. His hand or fingers. Daniels REALLY should have been the one to shave KAZ’s head. Be like me KAZ, be like me! We are one as a tag team. That didn’t happen. Daniels and KAZ look like jobbers wearing Slammiversary T-shirts and they don’t even carry the tag belts. Daniels harasses her. Its nice. Dixie starts trying to bash him, Kaz gives her a nice push to the corner. AJ came in for the save. This isn’t gold, I’m not sure how much heat it has. Serge comes in. He helps his wife and looks angry at AJ Stylez. Serge clocks AJ. They are going into good territory with this, but since its AJ its still unbelievable. The fans are chanting Photo-Shop? Serge leaves them, and AJ walks Dixie out. Well that’s a crowd killer.

It is soon announced AJ & Dixie left the building, but he’s in a six man tag main event!

AUSTIN ARIES & SAMOA JOE BACKSTAGE
Very briefly Joe has an issue with him. Its too brief to get heat.

THE STREAK >> CRIMSON vs AUSTIN ARIES (uh boy)
Crimson issues an open challenge for the PPV. Fight him and lose! Then screams Undefeated!

I still want to point out Crimson was pinned as a tag champion. If anyone on the TNA roster should beat Crimson, it should be Austin Aries. If anyone can get a good match out of Crimson it is Austin Aries. The crowd is behind Aries. But with Joe and Aries having an issue just before the match, that might telegraph the winner. It didn’t last week.

BROOKE BACKSTAGE w/ FACE KNOCKOUTS (surprisingly good)
Look at these outfits! Look at these bodies! They’re more beautiful in person! She’s clearly a face. A man of a face. She puts Velvet, Mickie James, Brooke and Tara into a four way. Why does Brooke look older than these girls when she’s probably the youngest? Brooke mentions that she’s getting them media opperunities. If that’s true, cool. Montgumery Gentry wants Velvet for a music video. Mickie James subtly looks pissed.

HOGAN ANNOUCEMENTS (meh build to the PPV)
Hogan comes out and announces the ten year anniversary party starts tonight end ends next week with the TNA champion having a title match next week on Impact. Then Robert Roode comes out, starts talking, gets interrupted, but Robert Roode is never done talking. It was a good verbal assault… if they’re planning Hogan vs Roode. He puts his hands on Hogan. Sting appears. Roode beats down Sting who just gets back up. Sting sells nothing. Then Robert Roode gets sent out of the ring.

Robert Roode wears a new IT Factor T-shirt that looks terrible and generic. They really could have had some more IT Factor in the IT Factor T-shirt. In other words, that’s not a shirt I’d buy or anyone else.

JOSEPH PARK BACKSTAGE
He can’t believe what he’s doing. Good character. To brief to be great, but this was good for the 30 seconds it was.

#1 CONTENDER >> MICKIE JAMES vs VELVET SKYE vs BROOKE TESSMOCHER vs TARA (seen these women in this match combination too many times)
Brooke Tessmocher is from Houston, TX and the PPV is in TX. Give her the knockout victory in her home state. All faces… except for Mickie who is about to turn. Gail appears soon after the match starts. Gail on commentary says she’s beaten all four. Gail Kim is the longest running Knockouts champ. Along with every other major title holder. Thank goth Gail is on commentary, because this match is so dull and burnt out that I forget there’s a match going on. There is a good spot where all 4 women are involved in submissions. I remember when WWE did similar things 10 years ago. Tara does a top rope moonsault instead of a standing one. Very impressive and graceful, unlike Lita’s.

Eventually former tag partners Brooke & Tara fight. The work starts getting sloppy toward the end. Like someone will get hurt kind of sloppy.

BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE (voice is out of sync?)
Strange the voice is out of sync. He’s got a contract for Joseph Park.

HOGAN BACKSTAGE ON THE PHONE
You get here AJ! Grrr…

BULLY RAY & JOSEPH PARK CONTRACT SIGNING w/ JEREMY BORASH (interesting and entertaining)
This has been a good 3+ month storyline. It would be a good one off match and they might want to do this with non wrestlers. Have them appear 3 months and do one match before disappearing. Do that 4x a year with various people and you can really keep them fresh. Like Robert Roode vs his old friend in spring, Bully vs Joseph in summer, AJ vs Serge in fall, ODB vs the Wedding Planner in winter. Very easy to do.

Bully has a good shirt. Some sort of parody on the Jack Daniels bottle. Joseph Park comes out with no music, but he is not a wrestler. He’s good at not knowing how to get in the ring. He’s good at being clueless. The fans want tables. Bully starts by tearing up the contract. Bully Ray pulls his special contract out that protects him from liability. Joseph Park isn’t crazy enough to do that. The fans cheer him surprisingly. Abyss should come out and sign it then… but that’s not the match. Bully Ray spits in his face. Joseph cuts a promo about his brother who spilt his blood and gave his body. He’ll sign for his brother Chris. If this means Abyss has retired and Joseph needs to wrestle now.

Abyss appears on the big screen. He’s not happy with Joseph. Abyss does some good work, even gets a shock from the crowd. Gold… for such a weird plotline. Bully Ray attacks Joseph. Great segment.

MIKE TENNAY asks TAZZ about JOEY RYAN
People are buzzing about it. Mike asks Tazz if he has any second thoughts. Tazz loves Joey’s character. Hanging out on Twitter and Youtube doesn’t make you better it makes you popular.

BACKSTAGE PROMO with JOEY RYAN (interesting)
Last week Joey was backstage cutting a promo on Tazz so Al Snow swoops in and tells Joey to check himself. Joey doesn’t, so Al Snow escorts him out. I’m sure that wasn’t Joey Ryan’s character that was just him venting. TNA was and wasn’t stupid not to take him. They were stupid, because the fans wanted it and he’s a ten year vet with talent and a great character that would be awesome in TNA. The good reason they didn’t take him is apparently he’s a jerk.

TV TITLE >> DEVON vs ROBBIE E (adding interest with more players)
The feud that will not die. Backstage before the match, Garrett says he’ll have Devon’s back if Devon will let him. Yep. Brief they’re really trying to put over Garrett. They’ll tag up at the PPV. This is the same match that its been for the last 3 months. It hasn’t gotten better or worse. Luckily Maddisson Rayne shows up to look on, making this match watchable. Logically I’d give Decon a clean win, then give Robbie & Rob Terry a cheat victory at the PPV when Maddisson Rayne helps them. Why have Cookie with Robbie E when you can have Rayne. Hilarious spot where there’s a small package and the giant Rob Terry sneaks into the ring and rolls them over so Devon is getting pinned.

HULK HOGAN ANNOUCEMENT (again)
He was getting ready to make a monster annoucement before he got interrupted… so Hogan gets interrupted again by Mr. Anderson. Why not have a match at the PPV. Ken Anderson vs Jeff Hardy. Again! The same match its been even back in the WWE for years and years! He introduces himself before he comes down. Uggg… Why is this guy back. There’s no room for him. Put him on Xplosion. I can tell Hogan really doesn’t want to hear from him. Hogan invites RVD to come down. So why not have a 3 way? They’re forgetting about Jeff Hardy… so far. And yep, Jeff Hardy is called down. I’d have these three guys go over in 3 singles matches, then have a 3 way at the PPV with the winner getting a title shot on Impact. He announces a three way at Slammiversary. Yep. I predict Jeff Hardy to win. Peel RVD off into a feud with Aries and Kennedy can go after Crimson.

SIX MAN TAG >> ROODE & KAZ & DANIELS vs STING & KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES
AJ left earlier… and he stayed gone, which is great. 2 on 3 match. I’d rather see 2 on 3 than waste 2 PPV matches in one. Sting comes out with some weird purple jacket. Sting now wears black with blue ring attire. He quickly puts the scorpion death lock on Daniels. A terrible death lock and Angle puts the ankle lock on KAZ. Bam that should have been the match. Victory to the faces, but then the heels should get on the mic and demand it get restarted and it would be.

I remember when Daniels had a feud with Sting. I’m not sure if they actually had a match or not. That was a few years ago. Pretty quick match, but there was a lot of energy.

PROS

  • The interest of Austin Aries vs Crimson
  • Brooke Hogan and Velvet’s announcement of being in a music video (I’m surprised its a pro)
  • Joseph Park & Bully Ray
  • Using Joey Ryan without giving him a contract

CONS

  • Crowd killing opening angle
  • Someone specific losing
  • Roode & Sting with Hogan did nothing to make me want to see them.
  • I’ve seen the same knockout’s match in tag or three way form for a year or two
  • Didn’t make me want to see Slamiversary