Category Archives: wrestling

TNA Slammiversary 2014 Predictions, Hopes and Booking

There are 9+ matches and segments on this card and a Hall of Fame induction segment with Kurt Angle. I remember when WWE wouldn’t ever have more than 7 on a pay-per-view.

THE VON ERICHS (MARSHALL & ROSS) vs TBA
I have a feeling the TBA will be Bro Mans and DJ Zima Ion. If not them, then Spud. This will be a feel good moment hopefully later in the event o lift up the crowd. Robbie E and Jesse do the job, all Texans go home happy.  Maybe Lacey Von Erich will be out there too as a face valet. She could then join the Knockout division and have some fresh matches. This would also give the Bro Mans a spot on the card, when clearly all signs point to a six man tag between the Bro Mans and the Menagerie. But I guess the Menagerie can’t do a six man, when one of their guys is in the six way for the X-Division title.

KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, ANGELINA LOVE w/ VELVET SKYE vs GAIL KIM
Gail Kim has always been the #1 contender. Angelina Love has been ducking her since winning the title. This is about as deep as the Knockouts division goes. These four women. Angelina Loves should keep this title for the specific fact that she should never hold this title again. Gail Kim winning the title wouldn’t suddenly open up new matches to the Knockouts Division. This is it. These four women. They need to open up the division to one shot appearances from women outside the company for one match or so. Maybe with the Von Erichs appearing, they’ll bring back Lacey Von Erich to screw over Gail Kim and open up some fresh matches. Lacey was a member of the beautiful people at some point, but she’s currently doing erotic point of view wrestling.

They could also have Lacey cost Angelina the title, so Lacey can be a face valet with the Von Erichs and be her own person in the knockout division.

MR. ANDERSON vs JAMES STORM
If there’s one match on this card that I couldn’t care less about, its this one. Please let them open the show with this. After watching TNA all month or so, I can’t tell who’s the heel and the face. James Storm really comes off as a face, while Ken Anderson seems to be the bad comedy heel people want to see beat. Much like Rockstar Spud ‘s role in the Bully Ray feud. Mr. Anderson should win, keep the crowd happy, someone famous that they know. So he can get fed to MVP. Heck, if TNA cuts the match, I’d be okay with it, but I guess a promise is a promise. Have it.

WILLOW w/ ABYSS vs MAGNUS w/ BRAM
On Impact, the guys had a face to face. Willow kept saying WE, he and Jeff Hardy will take out Bram and Magnus, so Abyss comes out as back up. Personally I would have rather seen someone with Jeff Hardy’s size wear a Willow mask at the PPV to wrestle Magnus, then have the real Jeff Hardy run out to blow people’s minds. As for who wins this match? It’ll end in a DQ. Abyss just came back, Bram is new and Magnus now likes to hit people with objects, because getting you disqualified somehow moves you up the ladder? Good logic buddy.

X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP 6 WAY LADDER MATCH: Champion, SANADA vs TIGRE UNO vs CRAZZY STEVE vs EDDIE EDWARDS vs DAVEY RICHARDS vs MANIK
This is my most anticipated match, even though there’s zero build for it on Impact. It was just thrown together. For the past 2 years, TNA has used its X-Division title as an Option C, a guaranteed, TNA title match at the expense of giving up the X-Division title. Much like a Money in the Bank briefcase in the WWE. The TNA title match would happen at the Destination X event on Spike TV.

If Eddie or Davey win, I think that telegraphs MVP winning the title, assuming he’s not too injured to win the title. I really hope Sanada wins. He’s the guy not caught up in backstage shit and hasn’t been beat down by MVP’s group. He can be a fresh story and offer a straight up wrestling match for the title. Samoa Joe, Austin Aries and Bully Ray can fend off MVP and Ethan Carter so Sanada can get a clean match out of MVP or Eric Young at the Destination X event. It would mean so much more to have a clean wrestling match, because that never happens anymore.

Once the title is given up, there should be a tournament for the vacated championship building to Destination X.

I just really hope that Crazzy Steve doesn’t have his music blasting all match long. TNA has a real chance to turn this match into something special like Money in the Bank instead of a forgettable spot fest. They could even use the Menagerie stilt walkers to aid Crazzy Steve.

AUSTIN ARIES vs KENNY KING
Why aren’t these two in the X-Division championship match? Two former X-Division champions and all. Well they’ve got a going feud, so why not have this match? It should be a good match, but the trick is to make it a memorable match. Let Austin Aries win to feed him to MVP. Heck Aries could win this match and still face off against the X-Division champion before Destination X.

SAMOA JOE vs BOBBY LASHLEY
Even though there is no heat to this match, I’m looking forward to two bulls fighting. I would say Joe should win, since he just came back and they can feed Joe to MVP, but Bobby Lashley has 2 victories over the TNA champion, Eric Young. Bobby Lashley should win. I think this match could be memorable if its stiff and technical. Two big dudes that can suplex one another.

TNA HALL OF FAME INDUCTION WITH HOST KURT ANGLE
Wow, there are 9+ matches on this pay-per-view and they need a hall of fame induction too? Well it is Slammiversary, so why not? They have Kurt and Sting in the hall of fame, and I see this hall of fame more as an everyone not in the WWE hall of fame. So why not Dixie Carter? She can come down to the ring, accept the award and she should be in the Hall of Fame. TNA has been building to putting Dixie Carter through a table for the past few months, maybe since their last pay-per-view. Bully Ray could then appear to put her through a table, but then Ethan Carter can run out and they can have their match right then and there. That’s what ECW would have done.

TEXAS DEATH MATCH: BULLY RAY vs ETHAN CARTER III W/ SPUD
It was built up as a table match originally, but since Slammiversary is in Texas, why not have a Texas Death Match? I hope they’ll actually keep the 10 count after a pinfall like the true version. Otherwise, its just a last man standing match. The real issue here is putting Dixie Carter through the table. I would say Dixie will get put through a table at a TV taping at the old ECW arena, the Manhattan center, but Spike TV doesn’t allow violence against women. Bully Ray even came out this week on Impact and saved Brooke Tessmacher, showing to the crowd he’s not anti woman, he’s anti Dixie. Bully Ray needs to put Dixie through a table on pay-per-view. First because Spike TV won’t let them, and second, because people are paying for Slammiversary.

TNA CHAMPIONSHIP STEEL CAGE MATCH: Champion, ERIC YOUNG vs MVP
The big question going into this match is will MVP be able to compete. MVP cannot compete, I updated after this match. Supposedly he injured himself on a non TNA show. If MVP can’t make it, Lashley needs to take his place. Bobby Lashley now has 2 wins over Eric Young, that puts Lashley right there with Eric Young. Heck, MVP has lost two matches to Eric Young.

TNA must not like money, because they just had their Champion, Eric Young against the challenger MVP on free television three days from their match on PPV. Perhaps their logic is people will pay for the cage match. No. Who cares? I just saw Eric Young win and beat the challenger MVP after taking out two other men. Plus, even with a rested Eric Young against MVP, I can’t imagine them having a better match even with a cage! I remember when WCW would give away their PPV main events free on Nitro. MVP should have come out and told Eric Young, I’m not the last guy, we agreed to two out of three wins. I didn’t say I’d be guy #3. I am not a number, I am the guy you’ll face at Slammiversary. Why would MVP ever agree to this? Even with a logical cage match to keep out Kenny King and Bobby Lashley, the challenger, MVP has a history of buying off and bullying referees into winning matches. The deck is stacked against Eric Young. Better put a top on that cage! MVP will win, but I’ve bet against Eric Young before and been wrong…. Personally, I’d keep the title on Eric Young, because MVP still has power to make matches yet he doesn’t ever make wise matches, but on the other hand if MVP doesn’t win the title, that’s sort of a road block for his faction.

*** UPDATE *** TNA CHAMPIONSHIP STEEL CAGE THREE WAY MATCH: Champion, ERIC YOUNG vs TBA vs TBA
So apparently MVP is really injured and can’t make the show. So TNA has announced the winners of Austin Aries vs Kenny King and Samoa Joe vs Bobby Lashley would be entered in the match. I predict Lashley and King to be inserted into the match, when really it should just be Bobby Lashley, who has 2 wins over the champion, Eric Young. However, having the two qualifying matches gives them weight and a reason to care about them. Anyway, while I predict Lashley and King to win their matches, for the sake of a good match, I hope that its Aries and Samoa Joe in the cage, but the fans wouldn’t know who to cheer for. Eric Young should walk out with the TNA title.

There you have it, all of my predictions, hopes, dreams and musings.

Advertisements

Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should be) (in my mind) (6/12/14)

PROS

ERIC YOUNG’S IMPACT STORYLINE
Eric Young started the show by wanting a solo match against MVP with no interference from Bobby Lashley and Kenny King. Its a noble request, but really why should MVP who has power to agree to such things? So they agreed to have Eric Young to chose a stipulation for his title match at the Slammiversary PPV if he wins 2 out of 3 matches against Lashley, Kenny King and MVP. First up was Bobby Lashley now has two wins over TNA champion, Eric Young. It was a good match, they told a back story. The back as in body part. Its pretty rare now that wrestling works on a body part. It made sense to have the biggest guy first to injure a smaller Eric Young before he’d face the smaller Kenny King.

Eric Young wanting a cage match wants sense, heck he might want a top put on that cage too! Beating down Eric before the third match was nice too. It was also a good way to win the final match…. but you’ll read more in the cons section.

OVER ETHAN CARTER’S DEAD BODY
While the segment started out awful, Bully Ray saved the day! I liked this segment not only because he came off like a real star with the fans chanting his every word ‘over your dead body,’ he came out and showed its not women he hates. Its just Dixie Carter he hates. He came out and saved Brooke Tessmacher, even when we last saw her and Bully, he threatened to put her through a table. The glass is half full on this segment, while I could nitpick Ethan and Spud using awful comedy to get heat after following Robbie E’s comedy match, I see this as a plus, not a minus. Plus, its no longer a table match, its a Texas Death Match at this Sunday’s PPV.

CONS

CHAMPION vs CHALLENGER before the PPV
TNA must not like money, because they just had their Champion, Eric Young against the challenger MVP on free television three days from their match on PPV. Perhaps their logic is people will pay for the cage match. No. Who cares? I just saw Eric Young win and beat the challenger MVP after taking out two other men. Plus, even with a rested Eric Young against MVP, I can’t imagine them having a better match even with a cage! I remember when WCW would give away their PPV main events free on Nitro. MVP should have come out and told Eric Young, I’m not the last guy, we agreed to two out of three wins. I didn’t say I’d be guy #3. I am not a number, I am the guy you’ll face at Slammiversary. Why would MVP ever agree to this? Even if Eric Young goes over three guys… why even let Eric pick the stipulation? Because you said you would let him if he won? Well you also promised a contract vs contract match last week and that never delivered!

Even if Eric Young gets a cage match, which makes sense, MVP has a history of buying off and bullying referees into winning matches. The deck is stacked against Eric Young. Having Eric Young talk after such a brutal beating instead of being saved by the face locker room felt silly. MVP’s group beat down Eric, then they just left. Why? Because. No one chased them off. Eric Young’s beating was so meh he still spoke afterward to tell them the stipulation.

WILLOW, BRAM & MAGNUS SEGMENT
Does anyone remember when Magnus won the TNA title, he said TNA gave him goofy gimmicks. Now that Magnus is eviler than his bad guy persona, he said he’s happy to be out of that suit TNA gave him. Wow fella. Willow says WE, he and Jeff Hardy will take out Bram and Magnus, so Abyss comes out as back up. Personally I would have rather seen someone with Jeff Hardy’s size wear a Willow mask at the PPV to wrestle Magnus, then have the real Jeff Hardy run out to blow people’s minds. The funny thing in all of this is Abyss should have been the guy to make Magnus use weapons. Well the whole thing is stupid, a bad guy that said he’d do anything to win the TNA title needs to be told to use weapons? That’s more of a heel trying to turn a face heel.

ROBBIE E w/ JESSE & DJ ZIMA ION vs KNUX w/ the Menagerie
Wow the music and carnival just didn’t stop. The music and lights went through the whole match. Once is enough. This is a wrestling company, but I guess not having the music would make the stilt walkers feel out of place. This should be a good six man tag at some point for Robbie E to conquer his fears. Crazzy Steve sure interfered a lot and the referee was cool with it. Again, this is a wrestling company. Comedy has its place, but this is just a mockery of wrestling. It is awful and so limited. Everyone associated with this group or faces this group will just end up in the trash can. Also, how long before Willow is wrestling in the Menagerie. I can’t believe they’re not having a six man tag team match at the PPV, but whatever, Crazzy Steve has a title shot already. I guess he did go over KAZ a few weeks ago.

#1 KNOCKOUT CONTENDER’S MATCH: MADISON RAYNE vs BRITTANY vs GAIL KIM
Not sure how it makes sense to have this match when Rayne just lost to the Knockout Champion Angelina Love last week and Brittany lost to Angelina Love maybe a month ago. They are not in contention for the #1 contendership. If anything, they should say they just need one more shot to beat the champ. Nope. They get thrown into a three way. If anything, Velvet Skye should have faced Gail Kim as a guardian, because Gail Kim is the #1 contender, the woman that Angelina Love hasn’t beaten in a title defense this month. I guess since MVP already had a gatekeeper / guardian storyline, they couldn’t do that. Oh well. Who cares?

TNA wrestling needs Dominos Pizza like commercials

For those that don’t know, here in America, we have Dominos Pizza. This brand of pizza has commercials saying, yeah we know we suck, but this is how we’re getting better and improving ourselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NPqOOErP5I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AH5R56jILag
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1EUggM10RE

The funny thing about these type of commercials showcasing how awful Dominos is the fact this sort of campaign has been running for 5+ years and apparently nothing has gotten better. In TNA wrestling, things haven’t gotten better as a company. The product is cold and so stale, their long time fan favorites have to reinvent themselves. Jeff Hardy is suddenly a neurotic mask wearer and Eric Young has gone from goofy comedy to straight up serious.

For my own amusement, TNA needs Dominos like commercials. Things like we thought it would sell TNA merchandise to have the Knockouts wearing basketball jerseys, but not our merchandise. Other commercials such as, we know it was wrong to have 6 minutes of wrestling in a 120 minute show. Yeah it was stupid to have all of our faces come out one by one to get annihilated by a 3 man heel faction.

But now, things are going to change in TNA. We won’t have silly struggles for power on air. We won’t have the first 30 minutes of all talk not action. This is Total Nonstop Action after all. We’ll put more of a focus on rankings and who is where on their match to the TNA championship without having our wrestlers get bogged down in personal grudges like who is stalking the red headed ring girl this week whether its Christy Hemme or So Cal Val. We as a company have listened and we will get better. If one of our wrestlers thinks something is stupid, they’ll speak up. We will deliver on promises like having consequences and stipulations mean something and follow through on Contract vs Contract matches and give them an actual winner and a loser that means something with a proper build up.

TNA, the #2 wrestling promotion in the world is yours to lose. ROH is on your heels and NXT is right there beside you. I’d argue NXT is a step above TNA right now in my mind.

TNA’s version of Money in the Bank: 6 man ladder match for Option C

TNA Wrestling has announced a 6 man ladder match for the X-division title at this weekend’s Slammiversary: Champion, Sanada vs Manik vs. Tigre Uno vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards

For the past 2 years, TNA has used its X-Division title as an Option C, a guaranteed, TNA title match at the expense of giving up the X-Division title. Much like a Money in the Bank briefcase in the WWE. The TNA title match would happen at the Destination X event on Spike TV.

If Eddie or Davey win, I think that telegraphs MVP winning the title, assuming he’s not too injured to win the title. I really hope Sanada wins. He’s the guy not caught up in backstage shit and hasn’t been beat down by MVP’s group. He can be a fresh story and offer a straight up wrestling match for the title. Samoa Joe, Austin Aries and Bully Ray can fend off MVP and Ethan Carter so Sanada can get a clean match out of MVP or Eric Young at the Destination X event. It would mean so much more to have a clean wrestling match, because that never happens anymore.

I just really hope that Crazzy Steve doesn’t have his music blasting all match long. TNA has a real chance to turn this match into something special like Money in the Bank instead of a forgettable spot fest. They could even use the Menagerie stilt walkers to aid Crazzy Steve.

Ideas on what should the WWE do with the Shield do now?

There is no other three man team that has been as dominant in wrestling as the Shield. The WWE has even started bringing back factions to feud with them, including Evolution. There is no where for the Shield to go. They are on top of it all.

Last night, they didn’t just defeat the boss Triple H and his Evolution faction, but they destroyed them in an elimination tag match. The Shield didn’t even lose a fall in the main event of WWE Payback. The Shield hasn’t just gone over Evolution once, but twice in a row. There is no need for another match. There is no need for the Shield to face the Wyatts, or go for the tag team titles. They’ve already had both.

I mentioned they beat the boss. If the boss can’t beat them, the boss should break them. There is no longer a need for a three man faction, there’s no competition, so the boss Triple H should divide them. Bait them with the WWE championship, since Daniel Bryan is still out of action. It doesn’t have to be a title match, so much as a shot at the top title. Singles gold that every wrestler dreams of would be enough to at least motivate one of the three members of the Shield to divide themselves from the rest and go for it.

It doesn’t even have to be a three way match, or thrown into a Money in the Bank ladder match for a shot, they just need to be put in a beat the clock with a shot at the WWE title on the line. Whomever defeats their opponent the quickest will get the shot at Daniel Bryan’s title. That alone should generate heat amongst the Shield, without them bluntly turning on one another for the heck of it.

If the Shield refuses to go for the top single’s title, Triple H can point out the WWE doesn’t really need the Shield. They’ve proven no one can match them and there is no competition for them. The boss Triple H, could have them sent home until competition rises up and well boys that could be a very, very long time.

Triple H could punish them with a 10 on 3 match, then when the Shield wins that match, Evolution can attack, injuring  them all just to get them out of the picture for a while and get heat on Evolution after losing 2 pay-per-view matches in a row. If Brie Bella and other wrestlers can quit of their own doing, or there can be injury angles, then they can be ‘injured’ for a month leading into Summer Slam.

WWE Payback 2014 Thoughts and Opinions (Spoiler Free)

Kickoff show from Chicago had Booker T, Alex Riley, Kofi Kingston and the Josh Mathews holding it down. As everyone knows this PPV (I mean WWE Network exclusive) was just Extreme Rules part 2. So guys can get their wins back. The kickoff show is always inconsequential. They had an interview with one of the Bellas saying she has no idea what Daniel Bryan will do. Well thanks for that useless interview. The pre-show also had a confrontation between the Rhodes brothers and Rybaxel, well I guess there’s been an extra match added. Booker T announces Kofi has a match with Bo Dallas too. Extra matches added to pay-per-views are never a good thing.

Michael Cole announced the PPV attendance at 13,000. Allstate Arena holds 18,000. That’s worrisome. I attended this event, a lot of it was blacked off and you could see that.

MASK vs HAIR: EL TORITO w/ LOS MATADORES vs HORNSWAGGLE w/ 3MB
Uh boy. The Chicago Bull vs the New Jersey Troll. In one way it is sad that two teams in the tag division are a backdrop to a comedy match. Normally the mascots add something to the real match, not the other way around. Three Man Band is an island of rejects, while Los Matadores are a well formed unit. The crowd chants for tables pretty early. In a way this makes real wrestlers look so much better by seeing how terrible this match is. This match was awful, but at least it had the stipulation on it. Its great, the bull stole Hornswaggle’s schtick, making it pointless for Hornswaggle to be in the company. If Hornswaggle were full sized, the WWE would never let someone so out of shape be in their ring, but since WWE is equal opportunity, Hornswaggle (and JTG) have jobs.

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, SHEAMUS vs CEASARO
The fans want CM Punk, which is cool. Paul Heyman says that Punk is over watching the Blackhaws get their streak broken… and they did. The Kings beat them. I think that’s a big story, the Kings go to the NHL playoffs. Two men that both now only have one name fighting over a championship that represents a country neither man hail from. Good call WWE, the United States Championship is the ‘ironic title.’ Michael Cole spudders off previous United States championships and Jerry Lawler keeps clearing his throat, waiting for Cole to say a specific name. Good brawl of a match. Sheamus was the heel, just like every big man that the WWE says is a face. I think the real story with this match is how strong Ceasaro is. Ceasaro can hang with the big guys as he has proven time and time again. He will one day be the top guy in the company before Dolph Ziggler. Sheamus was even showing some good agility, I have a feeling Sheamus holds back in the ring and just pretends to be a power guy. I’d say this is a star making match for both guys.

WWE COMMERCIAL #1
WWE commercial for WWE Countdown. The problem with the network, the countdown doesn’t really matter when there are countless countdowns, but I guess its just extra content. I just don’t need to see it on a WWE Network event.

RHODES BROTHERS vs RYBAXEL
Two teams with mash up songs. I would hate to count the titles these four men have held. Rybaxel must no longer be Paul Heyman guys, because he wasn’t out there with them. I can’t blame Heyman for not being with them. Why waste Heyman on two guys that aren’t going anywhere when you can pair them with a fresh manager with less experience and fame such as Brad Maddox. I would predict the winner of this match to get a title shot and after watching NXT, this match just feels like unneeded filler. The crowd knew it too.

REAL COMMERCIAL #2
WTF? I thought the Network was free of ads? I can understand if its the network’s own ads. Anyway, it was a quick ad.

BIG E vs ALEXANDER RUSEV
Rusev is now from Russia or residing in Russia. Reminds me of the days of WWE saying Canadians were residing in America. My problem Rusev is the bored expressionless common face he has, even if he’s a thick muscle man. WWE keeps up with its Rusev vs black man theme, even if in the past month he fought some white jobbers. Big E had a nice USA singlet, its one ugly yet beautiful match, like watching rhinos fight, muscle on muscle on muscle with little technique, style or flair. The fans want Ziggler, because fuck this match I guess.

WWE COMMERCIAL #3: MONEY IN THE BANK FOUR WEEKS FROM TONIGHT
Yep Money in the Bank. Four weeks from tonight.

KOFI KINGSTON vs BO DALLAS
Jerry Lawler questions why Bo Dallas has a pay-per-view match so soon. No, here’s the thing… pay-per-views are now at the level of NXT live network events. JBL points out that Bo is on a two match winning streak. Bo Dallas looks and delivers like his fat hairy brother. What more can be said about a match thrown together? Bo Dallas is just a gimmick, a different way of delivering Bad News.

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, WADE BARRETT vs ROB VAN DAMN
I just don’t want to see this match. Wade has a pointy, evil beard. Like all heels, he’s over as a face. He says someone needs to put Old Yeller down. Barrett is a 4 time Intercontinetal champion and RVD is a former 6 time champion. Wow. That’s a reason why these two should never hold that title again. This was another good physical match. RVD can always work with bigger guys, but I’d have to say the only difference between this match and every other RVD match is that Wade Barrett had a counter or dodge for the big RVD offense. The crowd was split on this one, and it wouldn’t be the last time of the night.

DANIEL BRYAN TITLE ANGLE
They build to this one saying that Daniel Bryan’s wife would be fired if he didn’t give up the WWE championship. Good. The Bellas shouldn’t wrestle. WWE knew this for years when they had the Bellas accompany celebrities, but alas, the WWE doesn’t have celebrities anymore. Headed into Payback, that was an interesting angle, but a strong champion is his own man. Daniel Bryan is not a strong champion right now and he needs to learn to say no to stupid angles.

It’s great, because they’ve built a WWE Network live event around an angle, just like WCW used to. I remember the days when Gorilla Monsoon pointed out that if a champion can’t defend a title within 30 days, he’ll lose it. HBK made a career out of it.

Stephanie McMahon came out in a teal dress, which is hilarious, because there was just a comedian that said, ‘you can tell when a woman gets old, she starts wearing teal.’ Not just wearing teal, but pearls usually say old woman.

The fans want CM Punk and Stephanie spun it into ‘the fans want you to quit, just like CM Punk.’ Brie Bella got some punch lines and came off looking stronger than Bryan, just like Natalya speaking for Tyson Kidd. Brie was sadly the star here, and the WWE was competing against itself with the season 2 finale of Total Divas… not to mention Chicago Black Hawks having a game in the city. Since this is spoiler free, I can’t tell you what happens, but there’s your tease. This angle had sting and it was just insult after insult.

WWE COMMERCIAL #4: LEGENDS HOUSE

FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE: JOHN CENA vs BRAY WYATT
There was no way they could build to this match other than pick on a commentator. That’s one step above insulting the town they’re in. At least Bray was finally a heel again. Cena doesn’t really have any ties to anyone except Zack Ryder, and Cena didn’t save Ryder from Alexander Rusev so…. to the rescue of Jerry Lawler.

Its sad that a giant Superman needs to sell for three bums, because his kryptonite is kids that aren’t even in danger. Logic. I guess Superman was always weak to magic. Why does Bray Wyatt blow out his lantern, then come out with it lit?

It is always a good visual when Bray comes to the ring and this match almost reminded me of Camacho vs Adam Rose from NXT Takeover. Its a serious guy, a serious gangsta by himself against a joke character with a faction that the fans love. Then whenever John Cena does stupid comedy, fans wonder why it isn’t funny. Maybe if Cena had his own goons his awful comedy would suddenly get over. I think wrestling fans really just want to belong.

Bray is awful in the ring, he tires easily, his offense isn’t just unconventional and unconvincing, its botchy. At least he can play this over the top character, because he just kills any sort of pace. This was a slow plodding match full of Cena selling so Bray can just be a character and do shit to giggle at the camera and stall for time while he catches his breath. It is the perfect match stipulation for him. Once the gimmick gets stale he’ll be cut.

If you love destructible environments… this is the match for you!

COMMERCIALS #5 & #6: MONEY IN THE BANK and SPECIAL OLYMPICS
They replayed the same commercial for Money in the Bank. I’m happy WWE is associated with the Special Olympics. Its another feel good charity.

DIVA’S CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, PAIGE vs ALICIA FOX
One of the only divas with a last name, Alicia Fox, going for the title after getting her new crazy R-Truth gimmick. Doing something with her is better than nothing I guess. She wants to be Queen Alicia… gotta have a Queen of the Ring for that. I still say the only reason for this match is to showcase just how pale Paige is by contrasting her against a black athlete. Well that and since Paige is new, she’s working her way up the Diva’s division. Even as a champ she’s starting off at the bottom. Kind of like how in Blackjack, an Ace is worth 11 or 1.

Paige uses Matt Morgan’s back elbows and they’re awful. Perhaps the worst maneuver on the show. I have to admit…. Alicia Fox is very technically sound and has diverse and complex submissions. So did Melina Perez, but no one ever gave her credit. They actually told a back story in this match. Shocking, I know, Normally flat women don’t have back problems.

6 MAN ELIMINATION TAG TEAM MATCH: THE SHIELD vs EVOLUTION
Evolution have grown beards and buzzed their heads. Its an interesting uniform look. The default avatars of evil. Beards mean push in the WWE. Wade gets a beard, he gets a push. Husky Harris grows a beard, push as Bray Wyatt. Daniel Bryan gets a beard and gets a push. Batista looks so much slimmer now and his new blue ring wear might have looked better without his long Mat Hardy elbow pads. He was indeed Bluetista.

This match was great, but it was less captivating than the Bray vs Cena match. Six great workers main eventing. Its everything I wanted to see at Extreme Rules 2014. No one seemed to actively be going for pins, it degraded into a big arena wide brawl.

In all a 3 match pay-per-view, which is all you need, but with 3 hours, there were a few things that could have been cut.

WWE Payback 2014 Predictions

WWE Payback 2014 is this Sunday, or as I like to call it ‘Extreme Rules 2014 part 2’ I’m all for having long feuds, but it really seems like the WWE just wants to have guys get their wins back. You beat me, now I beat you. This pay-per-view (I mean WWE Network live event) also hinges on if WWE Champion Daniel Bryan will give up his title due to a neck injury (selling that tombstone from Kane). Here are the matches.

MASK vs HAIR MATCH: EL TORITO vs HORNSWOGGLE
Uh boy. Sadly, they just had a ladder match, and how do you go from a ladder match to a normal match? Put consequences on the match. If there’s one thing that makes me want to order a pay-per-view (which is no longer a pay-per-view) its a little person comedy match. Not just that, but an interspecies little person match. It doesn’t matter who wins, but Hornswaggle is losing. These two are so limited, but if it gets ratings, go for it.

DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, PAIGE vs ALICIA FOX
WWE loves crazy black people when you look at R-Truth, Alicia Fox is now a crazy black character. No wait that sounds racist. She’s now a crazy character, but is she crazy like a fox? I hope so. After she supposedly quit a few weeks ago, she’s now the #1 contender… after losing in the NXT title tournament to a woman making her debut (Alexa Bliss). I really think this match is just to showcase how pale Paige is. Wrestling isn’t wrestling anymore, its a freakshow. Anyway, I predict Alicia Fox to win, because she has become interesting. However, she’ll get the rug pulled out from under her soon enough. Although, Paige vs a returning AJ is a good story to tell, but Paige isn’t holding up the division so much as people are saying wow she’s pale.

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, BAD NEWS BARRETT vs ROB VAN DAMN
Wade Barrett wins. No doubt in my mind, thank you jobber for showing up. Wade is on the way up, while Rob Van Damn has been on his way down for the past 15 years. I still like the guy, I just don’t want to see him. He has had the same match for the past 15 years. There are no highs and lows for his matches.  Rob Van Damn is a guy on auto pilot and he needs to change something about his style to get me interested again. He used to be an innovator of offense, but now he’s just neutered and stale. I no longer feel he can make his big matches any better or worse than his small matches. Thanks for coming, Rob Van Damn.

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, SHEAMUS vs CEASARO
After Ceasaro won matches two pay-per-views in a row, including the battle royal at Wrestlemania, he has been on fire. I would predict Ceasaro to walk out with the championship, if I didn’t know that the WWE likes Sheamus. They want Sheamus to be back on top some day. He has the height, the look, the strength and everything else. So does Ceasaro, just not the height. It is a toss up, the WWE might have Heyman blow the match for Ceasaro. I’ll still pick Ceasaro for the win, to keep the pay-per-view win streak going.

NO HOLDS BARRED SIX-MAN ELIMINATION TAG MATCH: EVOLUTION (TRIPLE H, RANDY ORTON & BATISTA) vs THE SHIELD (DEAN AMBROSE, SETH ROLLINS & ROMAN REIGNS)
Since the Shield won last month, I’d say Evolution will win. The WWE could also go a different way with it where the Shield wins a second time, but then at Money in the Bank, Evolution can dominate a Money in the Bank ladder match, causing a third match to happen. If you think I’m crazy that 2 wins in a row shouldn’t make a 3rd match, this is the WWE here. Anything crazy can happen! However, I am picking Evolution to win. Mainly, I’d even pick Randy Orton and Batista to win, so they have heat for the WWE world title.

DANIEL BRYAN ANGLE
The premise of this is Daniel Bryan has an injured neck. Too many diving headbutts I guess or maybe it was Kane tombstoning Daniel Bryan a week or two before their match last month. Either way, Daniel Bryan had neck surgery, so he has been at RAW every week, because history shows us that a legit neck injury means you hop on planes and fly around the country to not recover.

I wonder if this will be the main event. People are thinking that Daniel Bryan will have a match against Kane still (unofficial), because somehow Kane deserves a title shot after doing nothing since his last loss to Daniel Bryan. Other people are thinking Daniel Bryan will take out Triple H going into the Evolution match. Yet still some are fully expecting CM Punk to return, because it is his home town of Chicago (and he didn’t return for the Chicago RAW earlier this year). If he gives up the title, there can always be a Money in the Bank match for the title next month.

I am expecting nothing. I have an open mind to everything, but since the WWE likes to keep their top face chasing titles, its a good way to get the belt off of him. Daniel Bryan gives up the title.

LAST MAN STANDING MATCH: JOHN CENA vs BRAY WYATT
Well, John Cena had Bray Wyatt beat last month in what was a 3 on 1 affair in a cage match no less. Until a kid distracted Cena from winning. Wow that was stupid, but hey whatever. I predict the Wyatts to win, just because of WWE logic. Harper and Rowan will get beat up by John Cena, but in the end, they’ll rough up an old commentator, and Cena will get blindsided to save him. Huzzah WWE, you think up crazy shit!