Tag Archives: Sheamus

WWE Payback 2014 Thoughts and Opinions (Spoiler Free)

Kickoff show from Chicago had Booker T, Alex Riley, Kofi Kingston and the Josh Mathews holding it down. As everyone knows this PPV (I mean WWE Network exclusive) was just Extreme Rules part 2. So guys can get their wins back. The kickoff show is always inconsequential. They had an interview with one of the Bellas saying she has no idea what Daniel Bryan will do. Well thanks for that useless interview. The pre-show also had a confrontation between the Rhodes brothers and Rybaxel, well I guess there’s been an extra match added. Booker T announces Kofi has a match with Bo Dallas too. Extra matches added to pay-per-views are never a good thing.

Michael Cole announced the PPV attendance at 13,000. Allstate Arena holds 18,000. That’s worrisome. I attended this event, a lot of it was blacked off and you could see that.

MASK vs HAIR: EL TORITO w/ LOS MATADORES vs HORNSWAGGLE w/ 3MB
Uh boy. The Chicago Bull vs the New Jersey Troll. In one way it is sad that two teams in the tag division are a backdrop to a comedy match. Normally the mascots add something to the real match, not the other way around. Three Man Band is an island of rejects, while Los Matadores are a well formed unit. The crowd chants for tables pretty early. In a way this makes real wrestlers look so much better by seeing how terrible this match is. This match was awful, but at least it had the stipulation on it. Its great, the bull stole Hornswaggle’s schtick, making it pointless for Hornswaggle to be in the company. If Hornswaggle were full sized, the WWE would never let someone so out of shape be in their ring, but since WWE is equal opportunity, Hornswaggle (and JTG) have jobs.

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, SHEAMUS vs CEASARO
The fans want CM Punk, which is cool. Paul Heyman says that Punk is over watching the Blackhaws get their streak broken… and they did. The Kings beat them. I think that’s a big story, the Kings go to the NHL playoffs. Two men that both now only have one name fighting over a championship that represents a country neither man hail from. Good call WWE, the United States Championship is the ‘ironic title.’ Michael Cole spudders off previous United States championships and Jerry Lawler keeps clearing his throat, waiting for Cole to say a specific name. Good brawl of a match. Sheamus was the heel, just like every big man that the WWE says is a face. I think the real story with this match is how strong Ceasaro is. Ceasaro can hang with the big guys as he has proven time and time again. He will one day be the top guy in the company before Dolph Ziggler. Sheamus was even showing some good agility, I have a feeling Sheamus holds back in the ring and just pretends to be a power guy. I’d say this is a star making match for both guys.

WWE COMMERCIAL #1
WWE commercial for WWE Countdown. The problem with the network, the countdown doesn’t really matter when there are countless countdowns, but I guess its just extra content. I just don’t need to see it on a WWE Network event.

RHODES BROTHERS vs RYBAXEL
Two teams with mash up songs. I would hate to count the titles these four men have held. Rybaxel must no longer be Paul Heyman guys, because he wasn’t out there with them. I can’t blame Heyman for not being with them. Why waste Heyman on two guys that aren’t going anywhere when you can pair them with a fresh manager with less experience and fame such as Brad Maddox. I would predict the winner of this match to get a title shot and after watching NXT, this match just feels like unneeded filler. The crowd knew it too.

REAL COMMERCIAL #2
WTF? I thought the Network was free of ads? I can understand if its the network’s own ads. Anyway, it was a quick ad.

BIG E vs ALEXANDER RUSEV
Rusev is now from Russia or residing in Russia. Reminds me of the days of WWE saying Canadians were residing in America. My problem Rusev is the bored expressionless common face he has, even if he’s a thick muscle man. WWE keeps up with its Rusev vs black man theme, even if in the past month he fought some white jobbers. Big E had a nice USA singlet, its one ugly yet beautiful match, like watching rhinos fight, muscle on muscle on muscle with little technique, style or flair. The fans want Ziggler, because fuck this match I guess.

WWE COMMERCIAL #3: MONEY IN THE BANK FOUR WEEKS FROM TONIGHT
Yep Money in the Bank. Four weeks from tonight.

KOFI KINGSTON vs BO DALLAS
Jerry Lawler questions why Bo Dallas has a pay-per-view match so soon. No, here’s the thing… pay-per-views are now at the level of NXT live network events. JBL points out that Bo is on a two match winning streak. Bo Dallas looks and delivers like his fat hairy brother. What more can be said about a match thrown together? Bo Dallas is just a gimmick, a different way of delivering Bad News.

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, WADE BARRETT vs ROB VAN DAMN
I just don’t want to see this match. Wade has a pointy, evil beard. Like all heels, he’s over as a face. He says someone needs to put Old Yeller down. Barrett is a 4 time Intercontinetal champion and RVD is a former 6 time champion. Wow. That’s a reason why these two should never hold that title again. This was another good physical match. RVD can always work with bigger guys, but I’d have to say the only difference between this match and every other RVD match is that Wade Barrett had a counter or dodge for the big RVD offense. The crowd was split on this one, and it wouldn’t be the last time of the night.

DANIEL BRYAN TITLE ANGLE
They build to this one saying that Daniel Bryan’s wife would be fired if he didn’t give up the WWE championship. Good. The Bellas shouldn’t wrestle. WWE knew this for years when they had the Bellas accompany celebrities, but alas, the WWE doesn’t have celebrities anymore. Headed into Payback, that was an interesting angle, but a strong champion is his own man. Daniel Bryan is not a strong champion right now and he needs to learn to say no to stupid angles.

It’s great, because they’ve built a WWE Network live event around an angle, just like WCW used to. I remember the days when Gorilla Monsoon pointed out that if a champion can’t defend a title within 30 days, he’ll lose it. HBK made a career out of it.

Stephanie McMahon came out in a teal dress, which is hilarious, because there was just a comedian that said, ‘you can tell when a woman gets old, she starts wearing teal.’ Not just wearing teal, but pearls usually say old woman.

The fans want CM Punk and Stephanie spun it into ‘the fans want you to quit, just like CM Punk.’ Brie Bella got some punch lines and came off looking stronger than Bryan, just like Natalya speaking for Tyson Kidd. Brie was sadly the star here, and the WWE was competing against itself with the season 2 finale of Total Divas… not to mention Chicago Black Hawks having a game in the city. Since this is spoiler free, I can’t tell you what happens, but there’s your tease. This angle had sting and it was just insult after insult.

WWE COMMERCIAL #4: LEGENDS HOUSE

FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE: JOHN CENA vs BRAY WYATT
There was no way they could build to this match other than pick on a commentator. That’s one step above insulting the town they’re in. At least Bray was finally a heel again. Cena doesn’t really have any ties to anyone except Zack Ryder, and Cena didn’t save Ryder from Alexander Rusev so…. to the rescue of Jerry Lawler.

Its sad that a giant Superman needs to sell for three bums, because his kryptonite is kids that aren’t even in danger. Logic. I guess Superman was always weak to magic. Why does Bray Wyatt blow out his lantern, then come out with it lit?

It is always a good visual when Bray comes to the ring and this match almost reminded me of Camacho vs Adam Rose from NXT Takeover. Its a serious guy, a serious gangsta by himself against a joke character with a faction that the fans love. Then whenever John Cena does stupid comedy, fans wonder why it isn’t funny. Maybe if Cena had his own goons his awful comedy would suddenly get over. I think wrestling fans really just want to belong.

Bray is awful in the ring, he tires easily, his offense isn’t just unconventional and unconvincing, its botchy. At least he can play this over the top character, because he just kills any sort of pace. This was a slow plodding match full of Cena selling so Bray can just be a character and do shit to giggle at the camera and stall for time while he catches his breath. It is the perfect match stipulation for him. Once the gimmick gets stale he’ll be cut.

If you love destructible environments… this is the match for you!

COMMERCIALS #5 & #6: MONEY IN THE BANK and SPECIAL OLYMPICS
They replayed the same commercial for Money in the Bank. I’m happy WWE is associated with the Special Olympics. Its another feel good charity.

DIVA’S CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, PAIGE vs ALICIA FOX
One of the only divas with a last name, Alicia Fox, going for the title after getting her new crazy R-Truth gimmick. Doing something with her is better than nothing I guess. She wants to be Queen Alicia… gotta have a Queen of the Ring for that. I still say the only reason for this match is to showcase just how pale Paige is by contrasting her against a black athlete. Well that and since Paige is new, she’s working her way up the Diva’s division. Even as a champ she’s starting off at the bottom. Kind of like how in Blackjack, an Ace is worth 11 or 1.

Paige uses Matt Morgan’s back elbows and they’re awful. Perhaps the worst maneuver on the show. I have to admit…. Alicia Fox is very technically sound and has diverse and complex submissions. So did Melina Perez, but no one ever gave her credit. They actually told a back story in this match. Shocking, I know, Normally flat women don’t have back problems.

6 MAN ELIMINATION TAG TEAM MATCH: THE SHIELD vs EVOLUTION
Evolution have grown beards and buzzed their heads. Its an interesting uniform look. The default avatars of evil. Beards mean push in the WWE. Wade gets a beard, he gets a push. Husky Harris grows a beard, push as Bray Wyatt. Daniel Bryan gets a beard and gets a push. Batista looks so much slimmer now and his new blue ring wear might have looked better without his long Mat Hardy elbow pads. He was indeed Bluetista.

This match was great, but it was less captivating than the Bray vs Cena match. Six great workers main eventing. Its everything I wanted to see at Extreme Rules 2014. No one seemed to actively be going for pins, it degraded into a big arena wide brawl.

In all a 3 match pay-per-view, which is all you need, but with 3 hours, there were a few things that could have been cut.

WWE Payback 2014 Predictions

WWE Payback 2014 is this Sunday, or as I like to call it ‘Extreme Rules 2014 part 2’ I’m all for having long feuds, but it really seems like the WWE just wants to have guys get their wins back. You beat me, now I beat you. This pay-per-view (I mean WWE Network live event) also hinges on if WWE Champion Daniel Bryan will give up his title due to a neck injury (selling that tombstone from Kane). Here are the matches.

MASK vs HAIR MATCH: EL TORITO vs HORNSWOGGLE
Uh boy. Sadly, they just had a ladder match, and how do you go from a ladder match to a normal match? Put consequences on the match. If there’s one thing that makes me want to order a pay-per-view (which is no longer a pay-per-view) its a little person comedy match. Not just that, but an interspecies little person match. It doesn’t matter who wins, but Hornswaggle is losing. These two are so limited, but if it gets ratings, go for it.

DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, PAIGE vs ALICIA FOX
WWE loves crazy black people when you look at R-Truth, Alicia Fox is now a crazy black character. No wait that sounds racist. She’s now a crazy character, but is she crazy like a fox? I hope so. After she supposedly quit a few weeks ago, she’s now the #1 contender… after losing in the NXT title tournament to a woman making her debut (Alexa Bliss). I really think this match is just to showcase how pale Paige is. Wrestling isn’t wrestling anymore, its a freakshow. Anyway, I predict Alicia Fox to win, because she has become interesting. However, she’ll get the rug pulled out from under her soon enough. Although, Paige vs a returning AJ is a good story to tell, but Paige isn’t holding up the division so much as people are saying wow she’s pale.

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, BAD NEWS BARRETT vs ROB VAN DAMN
Wade Barrett wins. No doubt in my mind, thank you jobber for showing up. Wade is on the way up, while Rob Van Damn has been on his way down for the past 15 years. I still like the guy, I just don’t want to see him. He has had the same match for the past 15 years. There are no highs and lows for his matches.  Rob Van Damn is a guy on auto pilot and he needs to change something about his style to get me interested again. He used to be an innovator of offense, but now he’s just neutered and stale. I no longer feel he can make his big matches any better or worse than his small matches. Thanks for coming, Rob Van Damn.

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: Champion, SHEAMUS vs CEASARO
After Ceasaro won matches two pay-per-views in a row, including the battle royal at Wrestlemania, he has been on fire. I would predict Ceasaro to walk out with the championship, if I didn’t know that the WWE likes Sheamus. They want Sheamus to be back on top some day. He has the height, the look, the strength and everything else. So does Ceasaro, just not the height. It is a toss up, the WWE might have Heyman blow the match for Ceasaro. I’ll still pick Ceasaro for the win, to keep the pay-per-view win streak going.

NO HOLDS BARRED SIX-MAN ELIMINATION TAG MATCH: EVOLUTION (TRIPLE H, RANDY ORTON & BATISTA) vs THE SHIELD (DEAN AMBROSE, SETH ROLLINS & ROMAN REIGNS)
Since the Shield won last month, I’d say Evolution will win. The WWE could also go a different way with it where the Shield wins a second time, but then at Money in the Bank, Evolution can dominate a Money in the Bank ladder match, causing a third match to happen. If you think I’m crazy that 2 wins in a row shouldn’t make a 3rd match, this is the WWE here. Anything crazy can happen! However, I am picking Evolution to win. Mainly, I’d even pick Randy Orton and Batista to win, so they have heat for the WWE world title.

DANIEL BRYAN ANGLE
The premise of this is Daniel Bryan has an injured neck. Too many diving headbutts I guess or maybe it was Kane tombstoning Daniel Bryan a week or two before their match last month. Either way, Daniel Bryan had neck surgery, so he has been at RAW every week, because history shows us that a legit neck injury means you hop on planes and fly around the country to not recover.

I wonder if this will be the main event. People are thinking that Daniel Bryan will have a match against Kane still (unofficial), because somehow Kane deserves a title shot after doing nothing since his last loss to Daniel Bryan. Other people are thinking Daniel Bryan will take out Triple H going into the Evolution match. Yet still some are fully expecting CM Punk to return, because it is his home town of Chicago (and he didn’t return for the Chicago RAW earlier this year). If he gives up the title, there can always be a Money in the Bank match for the title next month.

I am expecting nothing. I have an open mind to everything, but since the WWE likes to keep their top face chasing titles, its a good way to get the belt off of him. Daniel Bryan gives up the title.

LAST MAN STANDING MATCH: JOHN CENA vs BRAY WYATT
Well, John Cena had Bray Wyatt beat last month in what was a 3 on 1 affair in a cage match no less. Until a kid distracted Cena from winning. Wow that was stupid, but hey whatever. I predict the Wyatts to win, just because of WWE logic. Harper and Rowan will get beat up by John Cena, but in the end, they’ll rough up an old commentator, and Cena will get blindsided to save him. Huzzah WWE, you think up crazy shit!

A proposed WWE King of the Ring 2014

Sadly, the WWE has done away with a father’s day, June tradition that was a King of the Ring PPV. Who wants to see the same guy wrestle 3 times right? To make a lesser star into a bigger star if not a Summer Slam contender. The WWE has tried to resurrect the King of the Ring as a one night show on RAW with stars like Sheamus, William Regal and Booker T winning the tournaments. Since it has been 4 years since the last King of the Ring, here is my idea for a proposed King of the Ring tournament.

  1. KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH: ALEXANDER RUSEV vs KOFI KINGSTON
  2. KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH: BIG E LANGSTON vs RYBACK
  3. KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH: JACK SWAGGER vs RVD
  4. KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH: ANTONIO CEASARO vs CHRISTIAN
  5. KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH: DAMIEN SANDOW vs CODY RHODES
  6. KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH: DOLPH ZIGGLER vs CURTIS AXEL
  7. KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH: WADE BARRETT vs GOLDUST
  8. KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH: SHEAMUS vs ADR

I’ve tried to come up with interesting matches here with feuds, and some stylistic matches. Alexander loves to defeat black guys. Big E vs Ryback is your muscle power match. Swagger vs RVD is your current feud, clash of styles. Ceasaro vs Christian is your good technical match. Sandow and Rhodes have history. Ziggler needs a win. Goldust is there mostly for history. Sheamus and ADR are at the same level and have been for years. Sadly there is no Shield, Evolution or Wyatts. They don’t need the tournament. Of course Intercontinental and United States champions might not need anything going on either, but Sheamus is a former king of the ring.

  1. KING OF THE RING QUARTER FINALS: ALEXANDER RUSEV vs BIG E LANGSTON
  2. KING OF THE RING QUARTER FINALS: ANTONIO CEASARO vs JACK SWAGGER
  3. KING OF THE RING QUARTER FINALS: DOLPH ZIGGLER vs DAMIEN SANDOW
  4. KING OF THE RING QUARTER FINALS: WADE BARRETT vs SHEAMUS

Keeping with the running joke of Alexander taking on black guys, this is a muscle match. Ceasaro vs Swagger is your current feud. Ziggler vs Sandow is between two dark horse matches that could potentially win. Wade vs Sheamus is not only Intercontinental champ vs United States champ, but it is a former king of the ring and they match stylistically and have for years.

  1. KING OF THE RING SEMI FINALS: WADE BARRETT vs DOLPH ZIGGLER
  2. KING OF THE RING SEMI FINALS: ALEXANDER RUSEV vs ANTONIO CEASARO

Here you have your potential dark horse and two potential winners. Ceasaro is on a hot streak and so is Rusev who is very untested. If anyone can get a good match out of Rusev, it is Ceasaro, plus the giant swing on a dwarf giant will go far in terms of visuals.

  • KING OF THE RING FINALS: WADE BARRETT vs ANTONIO CEASARO

There’s nothing like an oppressive British King to brutalize the WWE. Wade is already used to being chained to a podium, why not get chain Wade to a throne when he makes his proclamations? Give him lesser wrestlers (commoners) to lord over as his court or would that be too Nexus? While I don’t think Ceasaro would look good as a stereotypical king, he is a man that can benefit from winning a one night tournament. You’ll get to see three of his matches in one night. Ceasaro is on fire right now. It is your choice who goes over.

Rebooking WWE RAW (7/9/12)

So to sum up RAW, they had 6 wins and 2 matches. Wins are what happens when a match is under 3 minutes and you can’t really get invested. matches last longer and let you care about the conclusion.

WWE Title >> AJ Lee / CM Punk / Daniel Bryan Storyline
Bryan wanting to marry AJ makes more sense than AJ wanting to marry Punk. AJ writing Punk valentines, creepy poems and stuff like that makes sense and it can be more subtle and less fucking insane. However, Bryan wanting to marry her would make sense from a title standpoint.

AJ should be asking what do you want Punk? I can be what you want! Punk can say I don’t want you, I don’t want this. I dig crazy chicks, but I want to keep my title more than I want to date you…. That can still keep the illusion of not knowing who will win the title match if CM wants to keep his belt.

At least AJ makes Punk & Bryan look tall…. because John Cena doesn’t help.

When RAW started, I thought, shouldn’t Beth just appear to destroy AJ. AJ will try to talk her out of it, Beth can say…. enough talking. You’re a wrestler, not a referee. This is a referee (who then appears) and this is a match. Then destroys AJ. Daniel Bryan can run out to pick her up and carry her. AJ… AJ are you okay? What did you do to her you monster????

Pushing Tyson Kidd
Since people are buzzing about Tyson Kidd, WWE can bring up the pay-per-view from July from a decade ago…. Canadian Stampede where the Harts reigned supreme! The Harts who trained Kidd. Have his wife / fiance give him a simple good luck kiss. Show him coming up over the years…. his long rise to even get a shot at a title shot! This man had to live on spaghetti-os and wrestle in front of 50 people to wrestle in front of 10,000. Have Bret Hart smile, hit Tyson on the shoulder and say go get that title shot Kidd.

Smackdown Money in the Bank >> Tyson Kidd / Christian / Tensai / Cody Rhodes / Dolph Ziggler / Sin Cara Storyline
I want to hear Kidd Talk. WWE needs to do a lot to sell the Smackdown guys and why they should be champion. Why should I care about Ziggler when he’s FAILED on 2 dozen title shots? Why should I care about Tensai when he FAILS to beat John Cena? Tell me why Cody Rhodes is more than just the name RHODES? Tell me why I should give a damn about Santino as more than a cartoon character. Why should I care about Christian when he’s held the belt and whined about losing it for months? Why should I get behind Tyson Kidd when he only gets lucky wins and sniffs underwear? I need to know why the hell I care about any of these people. You have 1 week. Fuck you had 4 weeks and entire careers to make me care.

Heavyweight title >> Alberto Del Rio / Sheamus Storyline
If WWE wanted to gain a 1 night heat on ADR that uses a car…. have him run over Sheamus with a car in a garage. OMG he just run him over Can Sheamus defend his title in 1 week after being hit with a car???? But then again does the WWE want to waste a car angle on a match that is the 3rd from the top at the Money in the Bank pay-per-view?

Or like I’ve mentioned for the past few weeks, build up ADR over 2 or 3 weeks by breaking jobbers arms and getting tap outs. ADR breaks arms, but Sheamus is no normal man. Then stack the deck. Submission match with a champion that doesn’t really win by submission.

RAW Money in the Bank >> John Cena / Big Show / Kane / Chris Jericho Storyline
I’ve pointed out several times…. starve people of Cena, Jericho, Kane and Big Show…. instead of putting them all together. Sure that might be what the RAW fans want to see when you have them sit through shit. Promos against one another, building each of them individually. Asking wrestlers and FANS who will win? Why will they win? Ask Punk who will win and who he wants to? Make this match seem bigger than it is.

Why should I care about Cena, Big Show, Jericho and Kane? All 4 have held almost 40+ world titles between them. Is it because they’re the best???? Well if they were, they would still be holding the title. Kane should go out and destroy the …ladder so no one can win….. why? Because he should only care about a title because it will draw more victims. People want gold and I guard that gold and I want to hurt people. Why does Big Show want to be champion when he has an iron clad contract? Is there more money in it for him? Or is it to outlive the failure of losing the Smackdown belt in what 30 seconds??? Yeah that’s it. Why does Cena want it? To be champion 11 times? You’ll always remember your 11th title reign!!!!! No…. its because Punk beat him last year at the biggest event of the year. Even bigger than Mania. Punk embarassed Cena when Cena KNEW he’d hold onto that belt. Why does Jericho want it? To prove he’s the best in the world again? No because Punk beat him and he can’t sleep at night without thinking how Punk beat him. Punk beat him 3x and he wants to make Punk pay!
Cena should really be the guy getting the sole title shot against Punk. Cena has won a lot lately. Even has major PPV victories this year over Kane, Big Show…. and well took on Jericho a lil while ago.
I’d really really really have this Cena / Kane vs Show / Jericho on house shows and not the TV. Deny fans any combination of the main event of your PPV. But give the house show fans something for their money. Nope…. instead its Cena vs Big Show and Bryan & Punk vs Kane & Jericho. wtf? How does this make sense?

Since Cena is clearly the odds on favorite to win the Money in the Bank… and he’s had major feuds with all 3 of these guys over the years…. why not Cena vs 3 of them? Or why use matches to build up these 4 guys? Is it because WWE actually needs a real match on RAW?

Let’s look at the logic of the big tag match…. why should Jericho want Big Show to tag out? Wouldn’t he want everyone to get weakened? Hell wouldn’t he just leave the arena until someone said if you don’t tag in you won’t be in the Money in the Bank briefcase.

A DQ in a tag match… John Cena & Kane vs Big Show & Chris Jericho Logistically breaking up a pin should be a DQ. Just like a singles match. I never thought of it. Yeah.  Now if the ref doesn’t see it….

WWE tag division storyline… Ron Killings & Kofi Kingston vs Hunico & Camacho
Didn’t the Prime Time Players win a title shot for the tag titles at the last PPV? Why are Hunico and Camacho getting the tag title shot at the pay-per-view? Doesn’t Ron Killings have a broken foot? Does WWE actually have 4 tag teams? That’s a start.

Sin Cara & Tyson Kidd (put Kidd under a mask and call him Kidd Canada). Ryback & Ryan (Mason). Drew & Rekks. Hawkins as a buttler for Damien Sandow. Santino & Ryder or Ryder & Ricardo. Dibiase & Regal…. if one wasn’t retired and the other injured. Jinder & Khali… who cares if one is face and the other is heel.

And again just randomly put low end guys together at house shows. Find who’s awesome enough to be on TV even if you don’t have ethnic matching like a pair of blacks and a pair of mexicans. Why not an Asian with a black guy?

Heating up a dead storyline…. Michael Cole vs Jerry Lawler
Cole vs Lawler…. smells like WWE just gave up. None of our wrestlers are over enough…. go with announcers! Wasting time on this when you should be building Smackdown guys to be credible enough to win a title or at least making RAW guys credible enough to take on Punk.

Perhaps if they spent more time making people credible and less time searching for Hornswaggle and watching commentator’s wrestle there would be 75% of fans wanting to see Christian vs Cody or Kidd vs Yoshi Tatsu.

Rebooking RAW (7/2/12)

So far it looks like there are only 4 matches for the Money in the Bank pay-per-view coming up. In last week’s rebooking RAW I think that I made 8 logical matches. Chances are the WWE will make 8 matches 2 will be squash matches involving Ryback and Sin Cara. WWE RAW didn’t give me much to work with what with all of its 3 minute matches.

MONEY IN THE BANK >> KIDD vs DOLPH vs SANTINO vs TENSAI vs CHRISTIAN vs CODY vs DAMIEN
I think booking the main event money in the bank match is a lot tougher than the Smackdown one. The Smackdown one is a place to showcase new talent and Smackdown should be the place to plug their money in the bank match (even if this is rebooking RAW). Have them explain why they want the title or why they feel they will be the next champion. Damien Sandow can talk, Christian can do his promo with the peeps, Cody can laugh, Santino can be in comedy training vignettes… Tensai can be in a video drinking tea and destroying jobbers in the gym, Dolph can tell his manager to shut up… he wants to talk, and Kidd can go out be wreckless. You can even have sit down interviews with each one to talk with them for real-sies explaining why they got in the business, their sufferage and why they stuck with it to one day be at the top of the WWE. Don’t ask Damien or Santino. They’re not real characters or have them do it in character. Then you continue them all having singles wins building up to the pay-per-view. I have a feeling WWE will throw them into an 8 man tag.

MONEY IN THE BANK >> CENA vs JERICHO vs BIG SHOW vs KANE STORYLINE
But with the main event money in the bank its a lot tougher with 50+ years of WWE experience. I’m not sure anyone has the desire to see any of them to be champion again so much as be a stepping stone for Punk. I say starve fans of interaction between the four of them. Ask wrestlers and fans at live events, who will win. Even ask CM Punk who he thinks will win since a fighting champion doesn’t care who will win. Make it like a larger than life dream match instead of a stepping stone for men who have climbed Mt. Everest. They literally do not need any matches to build them up, they are the top guys, the guys you should be paying to see and if you don’t agree with people paying to see them, the WWE has failed over the past decade.

DANIEL BRYAN / CM PUNK / AJ LEE STORYLINE
Legend has it that AJ Lee will be the guest referee… Daniel Bryan should suddenly find himself appologizing to her. Roses. He misses her. Aw Daniel you’re so sweet. I don’t like sweet. He can either then pull her hair or intimidate her then. I win at the PPV. AJ can tell them… the best man will win. Then at the PPV Punk can put Bryan in the anaconda vice and AJ can be oblivious to Bryan tapping. That’s either an… I want Bryan to win or I hate Bryan and want him to suffer thing.

DANIEL BYRAN / CM PUNK / AJ LEE / KANE STORYLINE
WWE RAW saw Daniel Bryan & Jericho vs Cena & Punk. That’s a great match on paper, but WWE should be starving you of Bryan and Punk, since we’ve seen them in singles matches 6+ times in 3 months. Punk is also the same guy who has been in a drinking angle and stuck in an AJ Lee storyline since this year started.

If WWE RAW was a movie AJ would be brushing her hair, Punk would come in. She’d try to kiss him, he’d say no She’d take her brush break the mirror. Yell at him. She’d then cut herself once and say you will love me! He can say no put that down …okay? She’d cut herself, wince in pain, tear up say it again, why don’t you love me? He’d explain then she’d cut again until he finally kissed her and she’d cry and they’d go find an EMT … together. Then she’d become his project to fix.

Then…. Daniel Bryan can get on Punk’s case. Why did he let her do that? You’re a man, you could have stopped her! You just had to give in and kiss her and she wouldn’t have done that. It’s your fault she did that. Then later Kane can stop by the ambulance / EMTs and tell them take a walk. Then Kane can say those cuts hurt don’t they… she says yeah… then he says good… then walks away laughing.

It can still be PG… just don’t show what she does with the mirror. Its not in view of the camera. Just show their upper halves. Then a week later Kane can call out AJ and ask how she’s healing if she’s scarred… like him. Join him and together they can be a pair of freaks.

Kane will keep talking… I’ve realized you and I are exactly alike. We’re both unwanted. Neither Daniel or Punk want you. Neither did I. We both like pain… Take my hand AJ and I’ll bring pain to everyone that brought it to us. Through their pain and suffering, I’ll make you feel better. They walk off hand in hand or someone will stop them asking did that just happen? and Kane will chokeslam that person.

HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE >> SHEAMUS vs ALBERTO DEL RIO STORYLINE
Since Sheamus doesn’t have any on screen friends, ADR needs to start breaking arms in and out of the ring. Zack Ryder, Sin Cara, Santino, Ted Dibiase, Drew McIntyre, heels, faces, it doesn’t matter, start breaking them 2 in each show. Until finally ADR puts the cross arm breaker on a woman, let’s say Alicia Fox. Then Sheamus appears, ADR bolts, then distracts him for Ricardo, but Sheamus no sells and puts out Ricardo. ADR can cut a final promo about the arms he’s broken and how will Sheamus lift his title… with a broken arm. ADR was an Olympic wrestler, drives beautiful cars and gets beautiful women. Sheamus is a bar brawler, drives a pinto and gets the fattest women of Ireland. That is why Sheamus is so strong from sweeping those porkers off their feet. #porklover

IN CONCLUSION
With all of this being said, I think my last rebooking RAW was better, because it lead to better matches.

Rebooking RAW (6/25/12) and making a better Money in the Bank PPV

I want to preface with my thought that WWE RAW was OK. It was good in the way that it was not bad and I’m totally fine with that. It looks like we’re getting Daniel Bryan vs CM Punk and Money in the Bank with former champions Chris Jericho vs John Cena vs Kane vs Big Show. Kind of leading me to believe that Cena will become the first man to win Money in the Bank and lose the title match.

With all that said…. here is my rebooking RAW:

HAVE ONE SINGLE MONEY IN THE BANK MATCH
I would have had 1 Money in the Bank with 8 people… 2 of which take themselves out or brawl to the back. Having 1 money in the bank puts heat on the match, but also the man that wins can appear on RAW and Smackdown to tease who he’ll chal…lenge. Then have 10 matches over RAW & Smackdown to qualify for the 8 slots. Heck WWE likes voting so much, have the fans vote who should win #MITBcena. Then the top 8 guys get in or just have it the fastest 8 victories.
You can have those 10 matches on 2 shows putting over the guys and then have 8 more matches on 2 more shows putting over the guys in the Money in the Bank. Jericho can try to form alliances. Big Show can prove he can dominate… when everyone is knocked out he can climb the ladder. Sin Cara and Kofi can high fly into people to make you think Money in the Bank will be worth your money as a spectral. Sure they aren’t in Money in the Bank unless there are two matches, but hey. Zack Ryder can be thrown into it as a fan favorite and Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio can round out the 8 participants.
With the WWE version of money in the bank… I just thing this is 4 guys that have been with WWE alone for 10+ years with zero heat going into it. 20+ world title reigns between them. This is a match that should have been in 2002, not 2012. This is probably the best worked match they could probably have, but not the greatest spectacal.
CM PUNK vs JOHN CENA… ONE MORE TIME
Also I’d much prefer Cena vs Punk at the PPV. Why? Because it would celebrate 1 year of last year and that means more than another Bryan vs Punk match even if its better. Have Cena go over Otunga, have Dolph go over Heath, have Del Rio go o…ver Brodus and have a 3 way at the end of the night. The winner gets to pick their title shot at Money in the Bank. Cena would pick next week to face Punk. Punk can say do we really want to do this again? I beat you last year. Then when you won, you left the company and held out for more money while I’ve always been here. You say you’re the best in the world, but I’m the guy here proving it every week. I took out Brock, Big Show and the one guy you said you’d take out and that’s John Laurenitus. What makes you think you’re the best in the world when I’m the one main eventing? Then CM can shoot on him and probably not rekindle anything from last year, but more of a cash in and they can probably do some interesting promos with a 2 week build.
IF YOU HAVE TO DO SHEAMUS vs DOLPH vs DEL RIO
As for Dolph & Del Rio & Sheamus, the Dolph vs Del Rio contract on a pole match was the best it could have been, if it wasn’t so pointless at the end… it would make more sense to have one of the contenders get a victory heading into the match so if anything Dolph over Slater and Del Rio over Brodus. Both guys would have 2 victories going into their 3 way. Then do the 3 way at the PPV with 3 weeks of build instead of a moment before their title match this week.
Then on top of that last idea. Dolph needs to get one over on Sheamus. Have Dolph put a sleeper or rear naked choke on Sheamus and then Del Rio can do the arm bar to him at the same time.
I’m no fan of Sheamus vs Dolph vs Del Rio. I’d rather see Sheamus vs Kane. Well I’d rather not see either of them.
AJ AND KANE, THE POWER COUPLE

Then get AJ a title shot at the PPV by…. backstage AJ tells Kane. I’ll win my match just for you…. then reveal its Kane. Then she says I’d really like it if you were there for me. AJ goes out and wins a title shot against… Alicia Fox …or someone using some submission that would effect the champion Layla. Whatever Layla was just out for a knee make AJ’s submission a knee lock. Kane doesn’t come out. AJ cheats then uses the submission for the win. AJ keeps the hold on way too long and Layla comes running down and beats up AJ, who then says Kane help me please! So Kane comes out and choke slams Layla out of action for a month. Kane is banned from having matches for a month. AJ starts an unofficial reign as the top diva with a giant behind her. Just incase she ever dares to lose. AJ can have a match against someone else at the PPV and have the title shot 2 PPVs from now.
That idea could also get Kane matches. CM comes out… you don’t do that to women we love women… Bingo match. Sheamus runs out to kick a mans ass that choke slammed a woman. Bingo. Match. If WWE or USA Network doesn’t want to have any man against women violence (like Spike TV), then  Kane put his hand around someone and almost choke slam her, but thank goth Sheamus arrived!!!!
It would put heat on AJ’s matches. The divas could say how could you ever love that thing…. you know Kane AJ doesn’t really love you, she’s just using you since she’s too small and weak for the division. Referee says… Kane you’re banned from ringside for this match! Imagine the mixed tags. Oh and the best part to all of this is… even when she has Kane, she can still mess with Bryan and Punk… for dumping her.
RYBACK vs BRODUS CLAY
Brodus lost this week to the Big Show, but in my world they’d be unbeatable until they face each other. Kind of like you know one of them will lose. You’re paying to see one of them lose. I’d have Ryback destroy him with feats of wow he can lift Brodus. Then have Brodus stretchered out to put heat on Ryback for killing a teddy bear. And yes Ryback can build by killing low end guys that aren’t 1 time jobbers.
TO FILL OUT MONEY IN THE BANK PAY PER VIEW Then I guess to fill out the TLC card have Lord Tensai vs Santino with a comedy build. Cody vs Christian with a normal build. Oh and the tag titles… Kofi and Killings can lose the tag titles to the Prime Time Players by way of their manager helping them cheat to gain the titles. Then have them defend the belts against someone at the pay-per-view. I’m thinking Camacho & Hunico.. Someone can step up to take on AJ for Layla’s honor.
A LOOK AT MY MONEY IN THE BANK CARD
So… looking at Money in the Bank we just hammered out:
CM PUNK vs JOHN CENA
SHEAMUS vs KANE
BIG SHOW vs CHRIS JERICHO vs ALBERTO DEL RIO vs DANIEL BRYAN vs KOFI KINGSTON vs DOLPH ZIGGLER vs ZAK RYDER vs SIN CARA
AJ LEE vs LAYLA ALI (or friend of Layla)
CHRISTIAN vs CODY RHODES
SANTINO vs LORD TENSAI
PRIME TIME PLAYERS vs CAMACHO & HUNICO
RYBACK vs BRODUS CLAY

Rebooking RAW (6/19/12)

So half a year ago, someone wanted to give me a column to rebook RAW, which I usually do, but eh that sounded like too much work to do it consistently. After watching a 5 minute recap video on WWE RAW and hearing how bad the actual show was, I got inspired. Of course hind sight is always 20/20 and its much more difficult to book RAW from scratch, but here’s my version of RAW making use of everyone on it.

MICK FOLEY GM
Since GM Johnny is no longer GM and the WWE is in Long Island, NY, Mick Foley can be the guest GM for tonight. He wants to give his hometown hero an oppertunity. He calls out Zack Ryder who is also from Long Island, NY. Sure the Internet knows him, but 200,000 watches for his videos mean nothing to the 4+ million people watching WWE RAW. Mick is going to give him either an intercontinental or US title shot tonight. The fans need to decide on Twitter. Mick says he’s also made some time for GM Johnny to say goodbye, to make a farewell address. Johnny comes out, Mick takes pity on Johnny and gives him one last chance to save face on his way out. After all, Mick had a farewell match at Wrestlemania 2000. It is a singles match with John Cena.

PRIME TIME PLAYERS over RON KILLINGS & KOFI KINGSTON (RKKK) with help from AW
Word on the street is that Ron Killings has a broken foot. Why not give the tag belts to some new blood? Unless you’re selling Ron being knocked out by the Big Show from the previous week. This can set up a feud. I don’t like just giving any belt away, but if the Truth is injured….

CENA over GM JOHNNY
Johnny loses obviously, and Cena wants one man to be the guy to throw GM Johnny out on his ass and that’s Teddy Long. Teddy takes Johnny up the ramp, through the hallway and out the door. That doesn’t mean Teddy Long is the new GM, but it does get some revenge to tie up the loose ends of their storyline. But then cameras can come back to the ring, because Cena is being laid out by Big Show.

ADR over someone… BRODUS CLAY?
Eh, not Brodus, since he has a winning streak.

LAYLA & WENDI RICTER w/ CYNDI LAUPER over BETH & NATALYA
Is Natalya even a heel? Show a clip of why Wendi and Cyndi are important to the WWE. Then have Layla introduce them. Then have it interrupted by Beth & Natalya that ends in a match. Wendi can get the pin with Layla doing the work. It will be a feel good moment.

DOLPH ZIGGLER over JACK SWAGGER w/ VICKI
Dolph is sick of those two holding him down. So he issues a match. He wins and turns face in the process. Vicki tries to get with Dolph Ziggler afterward, but he kicks her to the curb. Swagger and Vicki swear vengeance. … the tough part is then Dolph Ziggler gets lost in the shuffle of a million other faces on RAW. This sets up a feud.

ZAK RYDER vs CHRISTIAN or SANTINO ends with a no contest
Whoever the fans pick. Cody Rhodes and Ricardo Rodriguez can interfere on them both leading to…
ZAK RYDER & CHRISTIAN or SANTINO over CODY RHODES & RICARDO RODRIGUEZ
Ryder gets the win.

HHH & PAUL HEYMAN ANGLE
Yeah you can have it here. Unfortunately, I can’t care about a match between a guy that owns a company and a cowardly take his ball and go home heel. WWE dropped the ball, because they want to prove WWE > UFC. This should end with Heyman either in glory with security pulling HHH off of him or Heyman face down after a pedigree. I say Heyman being saved by security. Heck or instead of having HHH & Heyman face to face… just have a video showing HHH and Brock in their prime 9 years ago and why we should want to see the match.

CHRISTIAN or SANTINO over HEATH SLATER
Yep, simple as that. 4 minute match. Buffer…

DANIEL BRYAN & KANE over SHEAMUS & CM PUNK
In this match, Daniel Bryan cheats to get a pin over CM Punk who then chases Bryan through the crowd. Sheamus is then laid out by Kane. AJ can still come skipping by in her Kane gear, but then Kane can raise his arms and make his pyro go boom. Then follow AJ up the ramp as AJ has her finger doing the ‘come here’ gesture. This sets up 2 feuds.

There you go. A few feel good moments, 8 matches, 10 segments.