Everything Wrong with TNA Impact (and how it should have been) (in my mind) (03/22/12)

STING vs ROODE AFTERMATH FROM VICTORY   ROAD(and how stupid it is for no one to have saved Sting & Dixie)
Good recap and thankfully TNA didn’t blow the whole pay-per-view right off the bat. They had a big main event angle withDixie and Roode that lead Sting to save Roode. I guess they couldn’t just have Sting get his heat back by destroying Roode afterward. This puts Roode over as a menace when they should be trying to push James Storm as the hero. Roode is ALREADY THE MENACE OF TNA. Now who will stop him. They should have sent out Storm. The fans were even chanting for him. Duct taping Sting to the ropes was not Dreamer & Beullah from ECW 15 years ago. No one from the locker room ran out to saveDixie or Sting or even take out Roode. Not Jeff Hardy, not James Storm, not AJ Stylez, no one. TNA looks weak. Their roster looks weak because no one can save the #1 babyface from the #1 heel Sting. Unless all of the faces were taken out, this should not happen and it makes TNA look weak as a whole, but maybe I’m wrong because main eventers beat down main eventers all the time with no one coming to the rescue. Maybe this just means the angle had heat because I’m so disgusted that James Storm couldn’t be a hero and run out there to save the #1 face and become the #1 face. Whatever.

DIXIE CARTER ANGLE w/ STING (and why Sting should step down)
Dixie is almost in tears running down Robert Roode. How is this now about Robert Roode and Dixie Carter not Robert Roode and James Storm? Sting enters. Sting should be out for 2 months. Not seen. People should worry about Sting, he should come back after Roode when James Storm wins the title, but hey whatever, I just think him coming back this week is stupid.

Sting talksDixieinto keeping Robert Roode, putting Sting over as a man who knows what’s good for business andDixiethe business woman as clueless. The fans want revenge. Hey at least they’re chanting. Sting tellsDixieit’s not working with him in charge. Fans chant please don’t go. I’m really sick of TNA baiting fans into thinking Sting will retire. Each and every year he doesn’t know if he’ll be back. Sting can’t do both wrestler and authority figure. Make him a full time wrestler if he’s the #1 babyface. He is the #1 face, he’s the most protected, most famous, and given the most time to drum up business. That’s why Sting should be injured and James Storm take that place or someone who will wrestle every week. Maybe as I ponder this, Sting is there every week drumming up business and taking out bad guys. Maybe I am a bad sport or something. If someone else was as good as Sting, as charismatic or a pillar they’d be #1.

Dixiehears Sting out that Hogan should be given power of TNA… funny didn’t Hogan conDixieinto giving over TNA? I predict a Sting vs Hogan match in 2 years.

X-DIVISION TITLE 4 WAY >> ARIES vs KASH vs NESE vs ION (high energy stunt show)
On paper this looks good. X-division stunt show. This is a good way to get Nese and Kash out there. Kash has been awesome since his return to TNA and I was never a fan of Kash before this run in TNA. Aries is too good for the X-Division now. He’s a giant fish in a little pond and well protected because of this. Good match, high energy and got the crowd up and moving. Crowd chants for Aries. Good crowd so far tonight.

This was old school TNA… before Bully Ray ran in and ruined it. This was straight out of WWE and WCW’s playbook. Have a monster destroy all of your small guys. It looks like Bully vs Aries will be on for the pay-per-view. This should elevate both guys…

MEXICAN AMERICA & REPO GAMES BACKSTAGE
I’ve seen Repo Games on Spike TV and this was a tolerable segment where Anarchya was the man with the answers.

KNOCKOUTS TAG TITLES >> ERIC & ODB vs SARITA & ROSITA (and ideas for TNA)
First of all… Eric & ODB are so over they should be working a television program with Robert Roode or Bully Ray to get mega heat on the heels. Second of all, Sarita and Rosita should really be faces, because they aren’t ghetto. Sarita is good in the ring and has that broken face sympathy and Rosita is very small and would be much better placed as a face than a heel. Rosita being heel is like Rey Mysterio or WWE’s AJ being heel. She can be a mega face… but hey TNA wants a challenge or they know their audience hates Mexicans. This match had heat, which was all thanks to Eric and ODB with Rosita and Sarita doing good in their roles.

CRIMSON BACKSTAGE w/ DIRECT AUTO (a noteworthy promo)
A heel Crimson cuts a good heel promo on Morgan. It made sense and it was kept as long as it needed to be. It was followed by a brawl that was kept as long as it needed to be.

JEFF HARDY BACKSTAGE (and zero heat)
Jeff challenges Kurt Angle… Kurt isn’t even in the scene. Zero heat, zero fire. Joseph Park is just there. I’d like to say Mr. Park or Parks has more heat than Hardy does at the moment.

ROODE & STORM THE EARLY YEARS VIDEO (and the beauty that it was)
VERY NICE and gives me good memories ofAmerica’s Most Wanted and TeamCanada. This is worth anyone’s time to watch. Their look is so defined now compared to how they were back then. They point out AJ and James are the only men still on the roster from day1. In a way their Lockdown match is beautiful because it is 2 guys that have been with the company 10 years celebrating the tenth year with the company.

JAMES STORM PROMO (good segment for this week)
He wonders why football isn’t all year long. He wonders why gasoline is so expensive. Mr. Storm you are Joe Everyman. Well done. He points out what Roode did to Sting andDixieis wrong. Well Mr. Storm why the hell didn’t you stop it at the pay-per-view? Really. You should have been face to face when the pay-per-view ended to drum up business for Lockdown. Storm is going to right all of the wrongs. He calls down Robert Roode.

Robert Roode’s attorney appears and gets checked out by James Storm who wonders who in the blue hell are you? The attorney is brilliant. He will be wrestling not too long from now. Heck TNA might as well make him wrestle this minute. The attorney announces that Robert Roode will stay in his home until Lockdown. Hopefully he will at least cut promos. The attorney announces James gets his choice of opponents, KAZ or Christopher Daniels. Good for Storm, he will fight both of them.

ANGLE BACKSTAGE (and his anti-logic)
No one beats Kurt Angle, so he is reminded that Garrett beat him 2 weeks ago. Technically that’s true and there’s Garrett to point it out. Oh good they make a 3 minute challenge. By this logic they’ll be having 1 minute challenges instead of 10 minute challenges or normal matches. I think if these two are going to have matches it needs to be on house shows so Garrett will learn from the best.

TNA WORLD TOUR COMMERCIAL
A fan plugs how pro wrestling is the best entertainment and beats other sports. Good. They show the tour dates and locations.

3 MINUTE CHALLENGE >> ANGLE vs GARRETT (to further the anti-logic)
Kurt is wearing a Lockdown jersey… but Garrett is wearing track pants and multi colored wrist tape. Dueling chants to start things, that’s good. There’s some stalling and pushing. Perhaps Angle is so confident that he can just destroy Garrett in 2 minutes. Maybe a commentator should have pointed that out. Garrett gets in great offense and a 2 count on Angle with a flurry of moves. Garrett only needs to stay away from Angle. Gunner appears and they beat down Garrett. Good ending. Jeff Hardy appears for the save… if only someone appeared for the save of Sting andDixieat the end of the pay-per-view. It looks like Jeff buzzed his hair.

MOTORCITY MACHINE GUNS ARE COMING
Artistic black and white vignette of the returning Motorcity Machine Guns is aired. Good and brief.

TNA TAG TITLES >> MEXICAN AMERICA vs JONUS BROTHERS
Mexican America are back from OVW after being gone for a few months. Good to have them return and job. It is good for business, and I guess with CrimMorgan fighting TNA needs another tag team. I also suppose this means JoNus is a face team now. It is at this point that I realize someone from every match is really over. Samoa Joe & Magnus for this match. Aries for the X-title match, Eric & ODB for their match.

Super Mex shows his power, JoNus shows their cohesion only seen since Motorcity Machine Guns and Anarchya shows how he can cheat. There is a point where Magnus is being pinned so he grabs the rope in enemy territory. Anarchya has the chance and fails to just kick the hand.

The Repo Games host runs down and whisks the women away. Back to OVW with the two of you! That leaves the match to conclude, but only after the crowd was whipped into a frenzy. This is a hot crowd. It was a crowd that rose their arms with Joe & Magnus. It was great.

MEXICAN AMERICA’S CAR IS REPOSESSED BACKSTAGE
Yep… both teams in Mexican America lost their tag title matches. Anarchya takes a terrible swing at the host and gets shoved away. The host then walks away with Rosita and Sarita.

BACKSTAGE WITH COWBOY TROY (performer of Jame’s Storm’s theme)
This was a brief segment showing you the behind the scenes from Cowboy Troy’s music video for James Storm’s theme song. Good enough, kept brief.

HANDICAP MATCH >> STORM vs DANIELS & KAZ
Good they should have this match. Behead both of those midcarders to your main eventer. Daniels isn’t even allowed to take his shirt off. Thank god they did something like this to keep James matches from getting boring. There are only so many Storm, Bully & Roode tag matches that I can see in the past 6 months. The crowd is nice and hot from the last match. They want Storm and chant for him.

Maybe TNA should have interviewed Kaz & Daniels before hand since they do have a history with James Storm, but whatever, they were a pair of jobbers in this match. The real downside of this match is that KAZ & Daniels couldn’t be themselves. They were just goons.

STING & DIXIE & HOGAN ANGLE
I don’t like TNA doing main event angles… but if the stats show main event angles get the highest ratings, then I can understand why they do them. Anyway, this was a chance for Hogan to go out and have his name cheered then leave the fans with a cliff hanger of will Hogan say yes?

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