Everything wrong with TNA Impact and how it should have been (in my mind) (01/26/12)

BACKSTAGE BRAWL >> HARDY vs BULLY RAY (killing any kind of heat)
What a dull segment with zero crowd heat. This was a time killer. Sure its great for Hardy to get his heat on Bully Ray, but it should have been in front of the crowd. It was also horrible of them to brawl in the prop area… I now know where they keep the barbed wire barricades.

The near retired wrestler needs to save the two young bucks (Roode & Hardy) from their ass kicking backstage then make the match? Really? Shouldn’t the two young bucks save Sting’s ass then scatter when the young bucks come to save the day then the faces challenge them for later. I love Sting, but not at the cost of the younger talent. Younger and cheaper talent. If you don’t want to make Sting look weak why bother… Hardy and Bully could have just fought, Roode enters, Storm enters then heels run and get challenged by faces. Duh… Sting could make the match then but he doesn’t need to break them up. Sting gets tacked onto something that doesn’t even need him.

#1 CONTENDER >> MICKIE vs TERRA vs VELVET
Eh it was an opener a good opener, but it didn’t feel like it meant much even if it was for a shot at Gail Kim’s title. They need to have a graphic if this is a #1 contender’s match or what.

ERIC YOUNG
Killing time… Putting Eric over with the women… Apparently TNA needs to use their women.

SHELLEY vs ZIMA ION (a wasted oppertunity)
Wow what a wasted opportunity… First of all… Austin Aries hand-picked Zima Ion to face Shelley… it wasn’t shown! Nor wasAustinout there doing commentary. There was zero heat for this match. It was a good match, but I would have liked it better if Zima was given some offense to create the illusion that Zima could win and Austin fears Shelley by trying to help Zima win. Oh and it would have made much more sense for Austin to choose Kash who has had a working relationship with Aries and to top it off he’s a much stronger heel.Austincould have had Kash do the match, but Kash could have said but if I win, I get a title shot.

THE BISCHOFFS
Eh bad segment. Sure it gives a hint at Garrett’s trainer… but this was throw away. Last week’s segment with Garrett was fantastic.

ODB & ERIC YOUNG vs LOVE WINTER (a boring match)
I hate Eric in matches with the women because there is so much stalling. Maybe the live crowd likes it, but not me. Stalling that much is good for heels not faces. Sure he tries comedic spots, but doing them so often to start a match is just stalling and it makes me want to see him less. Christ this match… It was boring. The beauty of comedic characters is to get it over with before people stop laughing… I think EY would be more effective with ODB as a couple not a tag team. Fuck.

ROODE & BULLY RAY BACKSTAGE (makes roode feel less special)
I really feel like Bobby Roode should be above backstage stuff. Bully Ray is comedic gold, but I think the more I see Bully and Roode backstage the less special it makes Roode. Bully Ray should be with Stiener backstage. They can be gold together, but Roode should be kept sparingly, like only use him when it means something.

MORGAN vs JOE (a necessary evil)
Eh they had to do this match. It’s a good way to build up a tag match… especially when there are no tag teams since TNA breaks them up and just randomly slaps teams together… Wildcard style. The fans love Joe instead of Morgan. I think Joe in a feud with Crimson and or Morgan is a horrible idea because Crimson isn’t a strong face. Joe gets cheers and chants. Crimson needs to be in feuds with hated wrestlers like Anarchya. I would have really liked it if this match had more consequence like the winner picks the match stipulation at the PPV or winner gets a title shot or something… Morgan just won off a clothesline. A surprise.

AJ KAZ & DANIELS CONFRONTATION (and still nothing makes sense)
He could care less about KAZ? It should be couldn’t care less… This feud makes no sense, but at least we’ll get an answer and some great matches. KAZ is worth more money as a face in the X-Division than a putz dog with Daniels. Anyone notice how wrestling does reluctant turns. Love & Winter. HBK & JBL. Cena & Wade. If they wanted to turn KAZ with Daniels… it should have been Daniels beating AJ match after match and KAZ getting paired with Daniels in the wildcard tournament and they become a strong tag team a reluctant strong tag team. Where eventually Daniels teaches KAZ to cheat. Not teaches but inspired and eventually KAZ begins to like it and AJ tries to save his soul and get him back to the good side. Plus they could have had 3 ways and Daniels vs AJ with KAZ as guest referee both when KAZ is good and then when he’s evil.

TABLE MATCH >> ROODE & BULLY vs HARDY & STORM (too much interaction kills feud heat)
The magic and chase of Storm vs Roode has disappeared for me. Actually TNA is pretty formulaic when it comes to main event tag matches. Take the top 2 feuds, pair them together as the main even of 2 out of 4 weeks of Impact. It burns out my desire to see the singles match in the feud, because I’ve seen so much useless interaction. If anything I’d make this match… then have Roode quickly get injured and taken away or get injured before hand and he can’t make the match so someone else is thrown in. Then Roode comes back to screw over the faces. Jeff gets pinned and it’s because of Roode who beats them down to end the show. Holy Christ 10 minute ring entrance and introduction.

What does this match mean… Nothing. Since it means nothing Roode shouldn’t have been used. Here’s why it means nothing… Bully Ray looks strong destroying everyone after the match, but how does he follow-up a table match? By putting someone through a table… After it’s all said and done, you forget about who won. Maybe the winner should have been left with his arms up in the air because of who he just went over, but no it’s followed by a beatdown.

IN CONCLUSION
Nothing makes me want to watch next week. Nothing makes me want to watch the PPV. Chances are next week will be more of the same. Everything feels very safe and not captivating.

REBOOKING IT!!!
Sure hind sight is 20/20 but here we goooooo!!!

REBOOKING IT >> IN RING BRAWL
Jeff Hardy calls out Bully Ray… Bully doesn’t come out from the entrance but rather comes from the crowd and Hardy catches him. They brawl. Roode jumps in, then Storm jumps in and Roode & Bully bolt. Before Roode bolts Storm clips his leg and Roode bails selling it. Hardy and Roode challenge them to a match and they refuse!!! Sting comes out and says he makes the match and they’ll be in the match or Roode will be stripped of the TNA title and they’ll both be suspended without pay for a month!

REBOOKING IT >> MICKIE vs VELVET vs TERRA
Just a graphic saying #1 Contender’s match. Maybe Gail Kim having an interest in the match but not interfering.

REBOOKING IT >> SHELLEY vs KASH
To set up the match Shelley comes out and demands Austin’s hand picked roadblock for Shelley. Austin comes out and says its Kid Kash who comes out and says he’s no pawn, he’s a king (king kash). Austin says to be the king he’s gotta have the belt and Kash says for him to be in the match if he wins its gotta be a #1 contender. Austin agrees and does commentary. In the end Shelley beats Kash. I would have a beatdown or something, but eh seems too much to have.

REBOOKING IT >> ROODE with TRAINER Roode can’t make it, Sting is called in and the trainer vouges that Roode can’t make it to a match tonight, he’s gotta have X-Rays. Sting tells Roode that if he said it he’d disbelieve it, but since the trainer said it, he’ll believe it, but if this is some fake, Roode will be stripped of the title.

REBOOKING IT >> ERIC & ODB vs ROBBIE E & LOVE
Robbie E has been looking for a new Cookie. Love needs Robbie to take out Eric and to bring his bouncer Rob Terry. This way Eric can wrestle a man and ODB & Love can still have their wrestle on. Less stalling more match.

REBOOKING IT >> STING with BULLY RAY
Sting informs Bully that Roode is too injured to compete, so Bully Ray needs to find a partner. Since he’s such a bully no one will agree to be his partner. He tries getting Stiener… but Stiener has this thing and can’t make it. So Ric Flair finds Bully Ray. Ric’s boy Gunner wants to move up the card and with Ray and Gunner they can cause a little mayhem and maybe put someone in the hospital.

REBOOKING IT >> MORGAN vs JOE
Still the same match with the same outcome and the beatdown that follows. However, before the match both sides get into it the winner gets to pick the stipulation at the PPV. Let’s say falls count anywhere or something.

REBOOKING IT >> AJ / DANIELS / KAZ CONFRONTATION
This is tricky considering its a going no where angle that will destroy all of their careers… Since I don’t have a time machine… just an imaginary creativity wand, I’ll just say that KAZ and AJ have been friends a long time and well that got KAZ nowhere. It didn’t give him money or respect. He had to watch his wife degrade herself to Eric Bischoff and if he had money or respect she wouldn’t have to do that. AJ is just a weight keeping KAZ down and with Daniels they’re gonna make it big like Robert Roode. No rules, no morals holding them back. AJ slaps the taste out of his mouth and says he won’t lose another friend to greed and challenges him to a match at the PPV. KAZ accepts knowing that he’ll win with Daniels in his corner oh and AJ make sure to watch your back…

REBOOKING IT!!! STORM & HARDY vs BULLY RAY & GUNNER
Roode over Gunner. Sure Gunner has been on a roll lately, but he can still be on a roll next week. Unless you tell the story that Roode and Hardy can’t co-exist and one lays out the other which gives Bully Ray and Gunner the win, but since neither man is main eventing the next PPV, give the victory to Storm. Roode can appear afterward with a crutch, but then the crutch gets taken away and threatened to use it on Roode himself, who then falls and Bully Ray and Gunner help Roode to the back with Storm and Hardy raising their arms and staring at each other. You can do the Storm arms up and then Hardy arms up to gague reaction.

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