Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling (episode 4 Sampson Stretchered)

To start with, this will forever be the Sampson Stretcher job. Many people have been asking me if its legit or not… well it was filmed 6 months ago…. so the answer is no.

PROMO SKILLS
Anyway this is the 4th episode (of 5) of Micro Championship Wrestling. This week’s biggest show ever is in Atlanta, Georgia. Hulk wanted the minis to step it up and work on their promos. So they worked on their promos while driving in the RV on their way to the show. BUT THEY NEVER CUT PROMOS AT THE SHOW. Wow. Maybe they just didn’t show it.

Justice cut a solid promo. The fat lady midget cut a meh promo that everyone loved. Trixie didn’t even cut a promo. She’s shit. Can’t wrestle, can’t talk, but hey she’s a blodge midget and men love sex with people that make their penis look big. Then Jersey Jess cut a pretty good promo.

BATTLE RAP
Johnny G had a brilliant idea by having some Atlanta street rappers teach the minis how to cut promos and ShortSleeve Sampson cut a battle rap right then and there. It always amazes me how generic battle raps are. Like these rapers all have the raps in their mind already because they’ve done it dozens of times. Anyway, Sampson’s rap was good and he challenged Blixx who just walked away.

BLIXX
Wow this midget Blixx what a piece of shit. He’s really shown me nothing from the wrestling clips. However, he’s a giant ego and it makes the show more watchable, because he’s a giant prima-dona.

SETTING UP SAMPSON
So this fucker Blixx works a deal with his friend in Atlanta owns a bar to get payback on Sampson. Blixx, Sampson and Justice go to this bar… and the owner of the bar wants to make them a deal for the 3 of them to wrestle in his bar. Sampson talks the guy into paying each of them a few hundred to wrestle in his bar….

LOGISTICS OF A BAR FIGHT
Let’s look at the logistics of this… a few hundred dollars for 3 guys. That comes out to a minimum of $600… for 3 guys to wrestle a 10-15 minute match at the most Oh and possibly mess up the place. Oh yeah that sounds real. Well its either pay $50- $500 for a band to play 2-6 hours in a night or have 3 midgets wrestle for 10-15 minutes for 10x more. Ugggg…. Anyway, we won’t see this match until the main event of the episode.

PUBLICITY
Hogan hypes this venue as legendary… I’ve never heard of it, nor do I remember what it is, but hey whatever. So to sell out this GIANT arena, they need to do publicity. Brian Knobbs makes it seem like he can handle it. So Johnny G prints him off some fliers and MCW is hooked up to do a radio show for publicity.

Radio deal fell through… And Knobbs lost the fliers and the master copy of the flier. So then the midgets had to dumpster dive… yet Knobbs wasn’t there… whatever.

WHY BOTHER PROMOTING MCW?
Anyway, they had a graphic showing that the venue was 70% full. It looked like this place could fit maybe 500 people at the most. Let’s look at the logistics of this… they had no promotion yet they still drew a 70% crowd. That’s some damn good promotion by the venue itself! Why even bother promoting if you still get 70% full.

Uh… there were match clips, but who cares, this is a reality show!

MAIN EVENT BARFIGHT
Now to the main event… Blixx, Justice and Sampson in a bar working a match. The whole setup to this was Blixx wanted payback on Sampson for something from 5 years ago. 5 years ago? He’s harbored it that long… Anyway in the clips of this match Blixx and Sampson never touched…

SAMPSON INJURED
Instead it was everyone fighting with Justice who coincidentally won with a pile driver. Justice hit a shitty looking piledriver on Sampson on the floor. Sampson said he couldn’t feel his legs… that’s bullshit, it was a safe piledriver. So then EMTs get called in.

CLIFFHANGER
Blixx goes to the hostpital with Sampson. Its all a good cliffhanger ending for what will turn out to be nothing. Fake reality show… Its a total mockery of pro wrestling. How the hell can this midget promotion with 8 workers draw 500 people for a show that will probably last 30 minutes at the most??? How? Where the hell is their championship belt that Demo won on the first episode? Where is the home base arena that they set up on the first episode. Was the first episode supposed to be the final episode? Did they air them out of order?

TERRIBLE TELEVISION SERIES
What a terrible television series… that only has 5 episodes! They really sold a network on a 5 episode show? Or is this just part A of season 1 and we’ll have part B in Springtime. Which would be BS, because this show was filmed in spring of 2011.

Uggg…

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