Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling Episode 3 (well oiled machine)

Just to recap the last episode of Hulk Hogan’s Micro
Championship Wrestling going down the tubes. They had their biggest and worst
“wrestling show.” The women weren’t getting along (it is a reality show
afterall), the new guy was hired then quit, and the star and co owner of the
promotion was fired… explain to me how someone can get fired when they co own
the promotion.

180 TURN
Episode 3 was a total 180 (just like episode 2 was a 180
from episode 1). They did 2 wrestling shows. The first was in some tiny VFW bar
(Hulk Hogan did not show up), and featured Meatball in 2 matches back to back.
Meatball wasn’t in the last episode, he’s a midget that is the same size around
as he is tall. That’s quite an accomplishment.

THE WOMEN
The women were used as valets thank god, but there was an
out of ring squabble that got more heat than anyone else on the show. The crowd
wanted them to wrestle, but no. Later in the show, Pat Tanaka was trying to
teach Trixie how to wrestle and she refused to work with … the fat woman. I
would too quite honestly. They’re both bad workers someone could get hurt.

So instead the new diva manager, Jersey Jill ended up
bumping around with the fat one. Jersey Jill has a lot of upside. Meanwhile,
Trixie sat out and revealed in a different interview that wrestling is a
stepping stone to appear in Playboy. There’s no way Playboy would have her,
Hustler has more of a freak show element. They might have her. Hulk Hogan
warned her by phone to step it up or she’ll get cut.

It was Demo’s birthday, so they all went to the strip club.
Wow wouldn’t that qualify as sexual harassment or something if people from your
work forced you to go to a strip club? Whatever. The fat diva ended up spanking
demo after the strippers warmed him up. Naturally the fat woman is the first to
spank anyone she works with. Ever notice how that works?

The crew found a flea market to buy props at. Old pimp
costumes, kendo sticks. The midget wrestler Justice actually explained how a
kendo stick works. It hurts when you hit then it pinches your skin on the way
back. Nice work Justice.

Later on Jersey Jess and the fat diva found a lingerie shop
and went shopping. After trying on several outfits, some good some bad, jumbo
found one, but they didn’t show it… you’d have to tune in later. What a tease…

BLIXX THE HEEL
If all of this sounds like fluff, it was. The real story
here was Blixx, who is the midget Shawn Michaels with a bigger ego. The show
revolved around him this week, last week, and the first episode. He missed the
VFW show because he had the flu. The full sized wrestlers played up the fact
that no matter what you wrestle. So he didn’t wrestle.

SHORT SLEEVE SAMPSON
To replace the wrestler that quit the previous week, they
brought in a new guy, Short Sleeve Sampson. They hype him up, well Blixx hypes
him in his own way too… by saying 5 years ago they had a match and things got
too real. Real in pro wrestling… Anyway, Blixx ends up ball shotting Sampson
with a bell hammer.

At a dinner, Sampson is wondering why Blixx didn’t compete
in the VFW hall. Rightfully so. Sampson wonders why he didn’t puke in the
match… Words are exchanged.

The man who runs the company Johnny G, put together Blixx
and Sampson as a team so that way the ring could hold their two egos.
Afterward, Tracie the terrible wrestler found Blixx practicing and asked him
for help. So he helped her practice.

THE DIVA PAYOFF
After that came the second show of the week. This show drew
a large amount of people especially for midget wrestling. But Hulk Hogan was
there, so maybe that’s why. Trixie vs Fat diva was up first. The fat diva revealed
she had bought the shittiest costume out of the ones they showed.

Trixie showed that now she’s a marvel of wrestling and sure
enough her job is safe. Turning things around for all of the women.

THE MAIN EVENT
Moving onto the main event, it was Demo & Meatball vs Blixx
& Sampson. They showed how Blixx didn’t want to make a tag which just
seemed dumb. Even when he’s getting beat on. They played it up like he didn’t
want to let anyone else have a turn. Well eventually Sampson tags himself in,
wins the match and looks like a megastar doing it.

Then afterward Blixx is teamed up against by all 3 guys in
the match. They put him in a garbage can, hit him with things, staple a dollar
bill to his face. Melee ensues. That was payback for not wrestling with the
flu.

IN CONCLUSION
It’s all reality-show fake, but done in a way to get heat on the workers. The
matches are clips. Things are looking up from the last show, but I’m sure next
episode it will do a 180 and everything will fail again!

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